Fractured Trust by L. M. Dalgleish
Chapter 11
Eden was eyeing Summer from the other side of the room as she spoke to Tex on the phone.
“Mm-hm, mm-hm, sounds good. Yeah, okay. Hey, how would you feel if I asked—” She smiled suddenly, then laughed. “You know me too well.” She listened for a few more seconds, then lowered her voice slightly. “I know. I love you too, Tex.” Her expression was almost too intimate, and Summer swallowed, looking back at her computer screen as envy rippled through her.
Instead of getting caught up in memories of failed relationships past, she did her best to focus on the newsletter she was finishing, ready to send out to all the charities on their mailing list.
Eden said goodbye and hung up, but when there was only silence instead of a clacking keyboard, Summer raised her eyes and looked over. Eden was gazing back at her with a hopeful smile on her face, and Summer’s brows arced upward. “Um, is everything okay?”
“Everything’s great. Tex was just reminding me we’ve been invited to a fundraising gala Saturday night. The whole band has. It’s a silent auction.”
Summer smiled. “Oh, sounds like a fun night.”
“Uh-huh. Actually, Drew was supposed to be coming, but he’s had to pull out,” Eden continued. “Aaaand… I was hoping maybe you’d like to take his place.” When Summer immediately started to shake her head, Eden clasped her hands together in front of her chin and batted her lashes. “Pleeease.”
Summer couldn’t help but laugh, though she quickly sobered. “I’m really not sure…”
“Look, I know it’s still awkward between you and Noah, and if you truly don’t feel comfortable, I understand. Really. But I think this would be a great opportunity for you both to spend some time together with lots of other people around. And Lexie will be there too. You had fun with us the other night, didn’t you?”
She’d definitely had fun with Eden and Lexie. But afterward, it was Noah’s hand on her arm that she couldn’t stop thinking about. The way he’d pulled her closer. The look in his eyes. She had no idea what had been going through his head in that moment. But his expression had both thrilled and terrified her. Thrilled her because she could almost see the boy she’d once loved looking out at her, and terrified her because her heart had raced uncontrollably, she’d lost her breath, and for a second, wanted nothing more than to step forward, go up on her toes and press her lips to his. And that was the one thing she couldn’t afford to do. Because she needed this job, she needed this new start, and she didn’t want to lose it because of a lapse of judgment. One they would both invariably end up regretting.
So, she’d run. Home. As fast as she could. And stood under the shower until the water turned cold. Then she’d crawled into bed and tried to keep her mind blank until she fell into a restless sleep.
Summer sighed. “I did, but…” she wasn’t sure how much to say to Eden, so settled on being vague. “I’m not sure me and Noah spending time together is helpful.”
Eden scrunched her nose up. “I mean, with you working here, the two of you are bound to see each other now and then. Wouldn’t it be better for you to be friends? Or on friendly terms anyway?”
Eden’s words echoed Summer’s own thoughts from the other night. And it did still make sense to at least try to be civil. And having the buffer of other people around wouldn’t be a bad thing, even if the idea of hanging out with the whole band again was completely nerve-wracking.
Looking back at Eden’s hopeful expression, Summer reminded herself that she was strong enough to handle the awkwardness, and she and Noah really did need to get past whatever tension still simmered between them.
“All right, you’ve convinced me,” she said, laughing when Eden gave a fist pump. “But you need to check with Noah first. I don’t want to ambush him.”
Eden waved her hand in the air, breezily. “Okay, but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it.” She carried on as if the decision had already been made. “We can send a car to pick you up on Saturday night. I’ll have to drive in with Tex because there’ll be a red carpet for the VIP attendees and Tex likes having me with him for that. But you don’t have to walk the red carpet. Unless you want to.” She smiled, the dimple in her left cheek flashing.
“Um, no, that’s fine. And thank you, a car would be great.”
“Do you have a dress to wear? If not, I’m happy to take you shopping. My treat since I’m the one begging you to go.”
Summer laughed. “No, that’s okay. I think I have a dress that will do. I had to get one a year ago for a ball I was meant to go to with Deacon. But I never ended up wearing it because… well, because we separated before it was held.”
Eden’s face softened in sympathy. “I’m sorry, Summer.”
Summer shrugged as casually as she could. “It’s okay, I mean, the divorce was my idea, so I’m not exactly in a position to get upset about it.”
Eden’s brow furrowed. “Of course you can still get upset about it. Just because you were the one to realize things weren’t working out, doesn’t mean you didn’t care.”
Summer swallowed past the tightness in her throat, only managing to give Eden a small smile of gratitude.
Eden obviously understood Summer didn’t want to talk about it because she continued. “But you know if the dress has bad memories for you, I’m still up for a shopping trip.”
“No, that’s okay. I’m happy to wear it. I might as well get some use out of it, right?”
Eden nodded. “Great. Well, that’s settled then.”
Summer held up her hand. “Don’t forget to check with Noah first.”
“I will, but I really don’t think he’ll have a problem with it.” She grinned at Summer. “I’m excited. It’s going to be an amazing night.”
Summer smiled back, although butterflies had already begun flapping lazily in her stomach.
* * *Four nights later, Summer was staring at herself in the mirror. Again. Eden had gotten back to her to let her know Noah was okay with Summer joining them. Maybe he’d realized the same thing she had. They needed to find a way to get along with each other, otherwise this situation would never work.
Summer smoothed the emerald-green floor-length satin dress down over her hips, hoping that the neckline wasn’t too low. She wasn’t sure if she’d put on a bit of weight since moving to L.A., or if she just hadn’t remembered how revealing it was. Either way, there was no doubt it showed off her assets. Particularly with her hair swept up and off her face, exposing the column of her throat and the deep V of the gown. Still, she was sure there’d be plenty of women there in just as revealing dresses, if not more so, considering it was an entertainment industry event in L.A.
Summer applied a layer of lipstick, then eyed herself one last time before a message on her phone let her know her ride was out front. After taking a deep breath, she left her apartment, descended the stairs, and headed out to where the driver was waiting to open the door for her. She smiled her thanks, then slid into the back seat.
Unfortunately, being alone this time meant she had no one to distract her from her nerves. She stared out the window at the passing cars, her thoughts wandering as they drove farther into the city; drifting to what it was going to be like talking to all the guys again. What it would be like talking to Noah again after their last meeting. Her mind conjured an image of him in a tuxedo and her mouth went dry.
The last time she’d seen him in a suit, it’d been at their senior prom, not long before he’d left to go on tour. Summer closed her eyes as the memory unfolded. The way they’d swayed on the dance floor; his arms wrapped around her, his blue eyes full of unspoken promises. The way his head had lowered, and his lips had brushed against hers…
The air rushed from her lungs in an almost painful burst. Remembering those things hurt too much. She needed to put all of that aside. She needed to figure out how to be around Noah without thinking about the good times—because they inevitably led to the bad.
But it was a long drive, and without someone to talk to, she soon found her mind drifting back even further.
“Do you remember when I said I’d tell you why I think your name suits you so much?” he asked her. It was two months after that first day, two months of finding out about each other, two months of dates, two months of seeing each other almost every day, and having it never feel like enough.
He’d driven them out to the countryside surrounding their town, and they were sitting in the bed of his pickup truck, leaning back against the cab as they watched the summer sun set over the wheat fields that stretched for miles on either side of them. His arm was around her shoulders, and he was idly playing with the ends of her hair.
She turned to look up at him, her heart stuttering when she met his gaze. The way it always did when she caught him looking at her like that. Like he couldn’t believe she was his, the way she still couldn’t believe he was hers. “I remember.”
But instead of explaining, he looked back over the fields of wheat. “You know, this is my favorite time of day in summer. When the sun is setting and the heat’s just beginning to ease. The entire world feels like it’s holding its breath as it waits for night to settle down over it.”
A faint smile curved her lips. “I love it too.”
“Yeah, the sunshine turns such a beautiful soft, warm color. Not the harsh yellow of midday. And see how it casts everything in shades of rose and gold?”
She looked out over the fields. “I see it.”
“That’s why your name suits you. Because your hair reminds me of that. It’s the gorgeous rose gold of a summer sunset. I don’t think I’ll ever see the sun going down at the end of a summer’s day and not think of you.”
Summer turned to stare at him, eyes wide, her heart as warm as the sun he was talking about, and she knew, she just knew, that she loved him. She thought she just might love him forever.
Summer’s eyes opened, the sting behind them reminding her what a mistake it was to think about the past. Especially when she was going to be spending the evening in his company, probably looking far too sexy for his own good—and hers.
A sudden thought occurred to her, and she wondered why she hadn’t considered it before. Would he have a date with him tonight? Considering the sort of event it was, there was no reason he wouldn’t. Most likely a model or actress or some other stunning woman that she could never compare to. Summer put her hand on her stomach and pressed down to try to alleviate the sudden nausea. She took a few deep breaths in and out. If he did, it had absolutely nothing to do with her. They weren’t together—hadn’t been for a very long time. And there’d been plenty of women who had been on his arm—and in his bed—since her.
She couldn’t let it bother her. She’d left him for a reason, after all. He was her past, and that was it. She just needed to keep telling herself that. Over and over, until it finally stuck.
A few minutes later, the car pulled up to a gorgeous, classically beautiful building that was lit up almost as bright as day. A crowd of people surged around the stairs leading to the entrance; the flash of cameras announcing that was where the red carpet was. But her car was in a line of others waiting to drop their passengers off at a smaller set of doors, presumably for those people not interested in making a red-carpet appearance.
Eden had told her to message when she got there, so Summer quickly tapped out a text and sent it, telling Eden she’d arrived.
By the time the car stopped, and the driver rushed around to open her door, Summer could see Eden, looking beautiful in a floor-length champagne-colored gown, standing just inside the entrance, smiling at her as she waited.
Summer quickly made her way over toward her and gave her a hug.
Eden looked her up and down and whistled. “You look gorgeous.”
“Thank you.” Summer’s hand brushed self-consciously over the satin of her dress. “You too.”
Eden grabbed her hand, tugged her inside, and led her toward a large, curved staircase with an ornately carved wooden balustrade. After reaching the top, they entered a huge, beautifully decorated ballroom. It was softly lit by chandeliers dripping with crystals, and filled with white linen-covered tables topped by sumptuous floral centerpieces. Summer gazed around with wide eyes, taking in all the stunningly dressed men and women, many of whom she recognized from movies and television, or the pages of magazines. Nerves tumbled through her in a rush. This kind of glitz and glamour was completely removed from anything she’d ever experienced before.
Eden obviously sensed Summer was overwhelmed because she leaned close. “It’s a bit much, isn’t it? Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it, especially once we’ve got you a drink or two. And it’s all for a good cause.” She nudged Summer and surreptitiously pointed to the side as they walked. When Summer turned to look, her eyes widened as they landed on one of Hollywood’s most coveted A-list actors sitting at a table, his sandy-blond hair flopping over his forehead as he stared down at the wine glass in his hand. As they passed, he glanced up, his dark eyes raking both of them up and down, before turning a far-too-charming roguish grin on them.
Summer blushed but couldn’t stop a huge smile from breaking across her face in return. If that didn’t do something for her self-esteem, nothing would.
Before she’d quite recovered from that, Eden pulled her up to their table and Summer blew out a breath. The actor had been something, but this table right here, well, she was surprised panties weren’t spontaneously combusting all over the room.
The men of Fractured sat around the table, all dressed immaculately in well-fitting tuxedos: Connor, watching her approach with his piercing green eyes as he sat with his arm draped over the back of Lexie’s chair; Tex, with his brown hair tied back, his broad shoulders and trim waist only further emphasized by his suit jacket; and Zac, who had his chair pushed away from the table so he could sit with his long legs extended, his darkly lashed hazel eyes on her, speculation clear in his gaze.
Next to him—Summer let out a quiet, shaky breath—next to him was Noah, his shoulder-length blond hair tied back like Tex’s, his vivid blue eyes fixed on hers. At least until they traced a burning path down the length of her and back up again.
Unbidden, her body reacted to his languid perusal, her nipples tightening. She hoped it wasn’t too noticeable considering she hadn’t been able to wear a bra under the dress. But from the way his eyes lingered on her chest on the way back up she figured she was probably out of luck.
Restraining the urge to turn tail and run, Summer smiled around the table at all of them, giving a shy wave. “Hi, guys.”
For a second, she wondered if they might all give her the cold shoulder, considering how things had ended between her and Noah. But then they were standing, and Tex was kissing her on the cheek. “Nice to see you again, darlin’,” he said, in his smooth as honey southern drawl.
She smiled up at him. “You too, Tex.”
Zac was next, his eyes still quietly assessing as he studied her face. Then he gave her a crooked grin. “It’s been too long,” was all he said. She didn’t quite know how to respond to that, so she just gave him a small nod of acknowledgment, her lips tipping up.
Connor’s greeting was more reserved, though not cold the way she’d feared. And hearing his soft Irish lilt again made her smile.
And then there was Noah, who’d stood to greet her too. With all the gorgeous men in the room, they still faded into the background when faced with the intensity in his eyes.
“Summer,” he said, his voice seeming to linger over her name as he bent his head toward her, his blond stubble grazing her jaw.
Instinct closed her eyes when his lips brushed over her cheek. She took a shaky breath as he pulled back, his eyes bouncing between hers like he was trying to read her expression. She tucked a stray tendril of hair behind her ear and gave him a tentative smile. “Hi, Noah.”
The slight tension in his face seemed to ease, and that slow, gorgeous grin she used to know so well spread across his face in return. Summer’s pulse tripped, and she cursed her reaction to him. Cursed the fact that even though he’d betrayed her, her heart and her body couldn’t seem to forget how she’d once felt about him.
When Noah turned back to the table, she thought he was going to sit down in his seat. But he surprised her by pulling out the chair in between Lexie and Eden and looking at her, one side of his mouth hooking up.
“Th-thank you,” she stammered, stepping forward and sinking down onto it as he pushed it back in. Summer glanced at Lexie, whose gray eyes had a sparkle in them as she looked between her and Noah. Summer pretended not to notice. Whatever Lexie thought she was seeing, she wasn’t. Noah had obviously just realized the same thing she had—it was time to put the past behind them.
After everyone had sat back down, the conversation resumed around Summer. She listened in, occasionally trading comments with Lexie and Eden, while sipping the deliciously crisp wine a server poured for her and laughing at the exchanges flying around the table.
On one side of her, Tex was pointing over at Connor. “I know you’re planning to bid on that Hendrix six-string. And I’m letting you know right now; you’re not getting it.”
Connor laughed. “We’ll see about that.”
On the other side, Noah was grinning at Zac. “So, there’s quite a crowd over there, bidding on the ‘win a lunch date with Zac Ford prize’. So nice of you to offer your services that way.”
Zac snorted and rolled his eyes. “Sure man. If I remember correctly, it was you that put my name down for it.”
“It’s all for a good cause,” Noah laughed.
“I didn’t see you signing yourself up.”
“I’m planning to contribute in other ways.”
“Yeah, don’t think I missed that there’s a Neil Peart drum kit up for auction. You’ll need to drop some serious cash to snag that one.”
Noah leaned back in his chair and smirked. “Anything for the kids.”
“You’re such a giver,” Zac grumbled.
Summer smiled to herself. Being around all the guys again was bringing back memories of when she used to hang out with them in high school. And watching Noah relaxed and laughing with his friends was… nice. It’d been a long time since she’d seen this side of him. Most of their interactions since she’d stumbled back into his life had been more on the antagonistic side. Or at least tense. And if a part of her was enjoying watching his lips curve up in that sexy smile of his a little too much, well, she was just going to blame the wine and the atmosphere.
Eden leaned over. “Do you want to go and look at some of the pieces up for auction?”
“Oh. I mean, I’d like to, but I don’t think I can afford to bid on anything,” Summer said, feeling self-conscious about her lack of finances in a room swimming with celebrities and the exorbitantly wealthy.
“That’s okay, we can just look, we don’t need to bid.”
“Okay,” Summer said, giving her a smile. As she pushed her chair back and stood, her gaze tangled with Noah’s where he sat across from her. He still had the grin on his face from his exchange with Zac, but his eyes glinted with something other than humor as he watched her, and Summer’s breath caught in her throat.
She tore her eyes from him and turned away, following Eden over to the area where all the items available to bid on had been set up. Since this was an entertainment industry auction, there was an amazing selection of unique experiences, luxury collectibles, and memorabilia, including signed original movie scripts from blockbusters and cult classics alike, costumes worn by famous actors and actresses, iconic props, and autographed musical scores and instruments. Summer’s eyes were wide as she moved around all the incredible items, shocked by the dollar amounts already noted against them.
Summer suddenly stumbled to a halt as her eye caught on an item in a plexiglass container. She read the description in disbelief, her fingers fluttering up to cover her mouth.
Item 154: Original handwritten working lyrics and chord annotations making up the entirety of Fractured’s self-titled debut album.
A sense of unreality hit Summer, and she blinked several times. She’d been there in the room when Connor had been writing down the words and notes that covered those pages. She’d sat there watching Noah on his drums as he played with his friends, a huge grin on his face, oblivious to the fact they were making something incredible. She’d been there, her heart so full of love for him it could’ve burst.
But now she was here. Noah was a world-famous rock star who’d left her in his dust, and she had a failed marriage behind her. Those memories? That history that she could still remember so vividly? It was going for… Her eyes made their way down the list to find the current bid, and she gasped—$290,000.
She didn’t know why it hit her the way it did. Maybe it was the contrast between the future her younger self had been imagining as she sat in that room compared to how things had turned out. Maybe it was a sudden surge of nostalgia, wishing she could go back in time and live forever in that moment when she’d been so happy, ignorant of the pain that was to come. Whatever it was, it hit her like a tidal wave.
Her heart pounded double-time as she glanced over at their table, her eyes immediately catching Noah’s. He must have seen something in her expression because he straightened in his chair, his brows knitting together.
The urge to cry became overwhelming and breaking Noah’s gaze, she turned away, found the nearest server, and asked where the restrooms were. When he pointed toward a door at the side of the room, she hurried over, opened it, and slipped out into a blessedly quiet corridor.
The restrooms were at the far end, and when she walked in, the lavishness of it took her aback. She didn’t even know if you could call it a restroom or if maybe there was a fancier name for it, since it was huge and resplendent with plush velvet couches and miles of marble vanities; even a damn chandelier hanging from the ceiling.
Summer sank down on one of the seats, trying to catch her breath. She was glad she was wearing waterproof mascara because she couldn’t hold back the tears that welled up and trickled over. She didn’t even know why she was crying. Why seeing those words and notes had affected her so much. It was so long ago now, it was almost as if that time belonged to someone else. And maybe that was the problem. She’d spent so many years pushing aside her memories of being with Noah, frightened by the depth of her pain, struggling to become someone she wasn’t for Deacon’s sake, that the sudden onslaught of reminders tonight was just too much.
Concentrating on taking deep, calming breaths, Summer slowly brought her emotions under control. She needed to get back out there, or Eden and Lexie would start to worry. Once she’d composed herself, she stood and walked over to the vast expanse of perfectly polished mirrors. Her eyes were slightly swollen and tinged with red, but her mascara had withstood the tears, and she didn’t have streaks of black down her face. She grabbed a tissue to dab away the residual wetness on her cheeks. Hopefully, most people wouldn’t be looking closely enough at her to realize she’d been crying.
Taking one last deep, fortifying breath, she walked back across the room, pulled the door open and stepped out before slamming to a halt, the door almost hitting her on the bottom as it swung shut. “Noah? What are you doing?” she choked out.
“You ran out of the room so fast, I thought something might have been wrong.” His eyes traveled over her face, lingering on her eyes, the line between his brows deepening.
“Oh. Um, no, I just really needed to… use the restroom,” she finished lamely.
He tipped his head toward her and frowned, but before he could say anything, the faint sound from the ballroom suddenly increased in volume as the door opened. A group of women spilled out, their loud, vaguely inebriated voices echoing down the corridor as they headed toward them. Before she could react, Noah grabbed her arm and tugged her around the corner.
He turned her so her back was to the wall, not letting go. “What’s wrong, Summer?”
She started to shake her head, but he cut her off. “You’ve obviously been crying, so why don’t you just tell me instead of pretending you’re okay.”
Ignoring the shrieks and laughter of the women as they approached the restroom, which thankfully tapered off as they disappeared into it, Summer stared up at him. “Why do you even care, Noah?” She’d meant it to come out dismissively, but the plea ringing in her voice made it sound far needier than she wanted it to.
He dropped her arm and raked his hand through his hair. “Because it seems to be a bad habit that I can’t seem to shake, even after all these years. Even when I shouldn’t give a damn about you anymore. I can’t seem to help it.”
Summer’s lips parted. She hadn’t expected him to answer. She certainly hadn’t expected him to answer her like that. Warmth pulsed through her at his words, and she tried to steel herself against it. But it was a struggle she couldn’t win. Her face must have shown some of what she was feeling because the tightness around his eyes eased.
He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his tuxedo pants, and she swallowed hard at how gorgeous he was standing there in front of her, all dressed up and so damn handsome. It really wasn’t fair.
“Do you remember the last time we were both dressed up like this?” she asked softly—an olive branch. Or maybe something more selfish—a sudden craving to recall a time when this man had belonged to her.
He stared hard at her for a second, before those lips, those sexy as hell lips of his tugged upward and the dimple in his left cheek flashed. “I do.” His voice had deepened. “But I believe you were wearing blue, and”—his gaze burned its way down her chest—“your dress wasn’t quite as… low-cut.” He peeked up at her through his lashes, his dimple flashing again. “Not that I’m complaining.”
Summer laughed softly. “Your hair was shorter, and”—she tilted her head to the side and let her gaze roam over his broad chest—“you weren’t quite as tall and… well-built.” She raised her eyes back up to meet his, the intensity with which he was watching her making her pulse race. “Not that I’m complaining.”
She couldn’t believe she was flirting with him. And yet, seeing him standing there in front of her with that devil-may-care smile on his face, it was too easy to forget who he was now, to forget the years that had passed. To forget the pain and just remember all the good times. And there had been so many of those.
Still, she was shocked when he held out his hand. “Dance with me?”
They could still hear the faint strains of music coming from the ballroom, and ignoring the warning bells in her head, she gave him a small smile and reached out to take his hand. He tugged her toward him, and she half-stumbled into his arms. Keeping her hand clasped in his, he placed his other one on her waist, and they swayed to the music, both lost in the memory of a simpler, less painful time.
Summer looked up at him, seeing him watching her, his eyes roaming over her face as if he were cataloging the differences between then and now. The hand on her waist slid farther around as he pulled her closer, his fingers tracing a slow line up and down the groove of her spine, leaving a burning path in their wake. His breath stirred the tendrils of hair that had escaped her up-do, and she suppressed an almost violent shiver.
She’d wanted to be friendly, but what she was feeling now was far more than that. She needed to pull away, but she couldn’t make her limbs move. Just one more minute, and then she’d step back, smile, and suggest they return to the others.
A rush of noise startled her as the group of women that had been in the restroom came bursting out, drunken laughter echoing up and down the corridor. Noah’s grip tightened, holding her against him, and Summer had just started to relax again when a shrill voice came from the group as they made their way back toward the ballroom. “Oh my God, have you seen the Fractured guys? Sooo hot! I’d love to hook up with one of them tonight.”
“Half of them are taken,” said another woman.
“Not the drummer, though. My sister’s friend’s cousin said she hooked up with him after one of his concerts and apparently it’s true what they say about drummers.”
“What do they say?” someone else asked.
A chorus of voices answered her. “They can go aaaallll night!” Shrieks of raucous laughter followed that comment as the group moved further away.
Summer stiffened, a band tightening around her chest.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Noah muttered, his eyes squeezing shut and that crease back between his brows as he looked down at her. “Don’t believe everything you hear, Summer,” he said, an odd urgency in his voice.
A fierce ache spread through her. “It doesn’t matter what I believe. What you do is none of my business. It hasn’t been for a long time.” She tried to tug her hand away from his, but he held on.
“People say shit about us all the time. It doesn’t mean it’s true.”
“Unless you’re telling me you’ve never slept with someone after a concert, then it has as much chance of being true as not. And I told you, I don’t care what you do, anyway.” She tried again to pull her hand away—to step back from him.
“You obviously do care, otherwise you’d still be pressed up against me like you were before. But nothing I say will make any difference; you made your mind up about me a long time ago.” His voice was gritty, tense.
“I’m not naive, Noah. You can’t tell me you haven’t slept with hundreds of women since we… since we broke up.”
“Since we broke up? Don’t you mean since you broke it off with me?”
“What does it matter who broke up with who, it doesn’t change anything, does it?” she hissed. “And I couldn’t care less how many women you’ve screwed since webroke up.” She made sure to emphasize that last bit since he’d made such a big deal about it. She hesitated before lifting her chin and adding, “Or before that.”
His eyes flared with sudden fury, and he used his big body to cage her against the wall. He grasped her chin and forced her to look him in the eye. “Not. Before,” he growled. His face was so close if he moved forward an inch his lips would be on hers. And she hated that her eyes instinctively dropped to his mouth before she shot them back up. Anger, frustration, and what she could almost imagine was pain swirled in his gaze.
“What do you want from me, Summer? Do you want me to lie and tell you I’ve been celibate since you? It’s been eleven fucking years.”
She tried to shake her head, but his hold on her chin was too strong, and he kept going. “Do you want me to tell you that for far too long after you left me, I wished it was you every time I sank my dick into another woman?”
She closed her eyes; she didn’t want to hear this. “Stop it,” she whispered.
“Do you want to hear how I felt goddamn guilty every time because it wasn’t you I was fucking? Do you want to hear how every time I came it was your face I saw—”
She trembled; her eyes still shut. “Stop. It.” Louder this time.
His voice was louder now, too. Rough, jagged. “Or would you feel better if I told you I never thought of you at all? That I forgot all about you as soon as you broke it off? That I indulged my every sordid desire with any woman I could get my hands on? That I screwed—”
“Stop it!” she cried out, her eyes flying open as she wrenched her chin away and hunched into herself. She hung her head and shuddered. It hurt. It hurt hearing about all the women he’d replaced her with.
For a few seconds, all she could hear were Noah’s harsh breaths, sounding loud in the now quiet corridor.
“Summer…” Some of the anger had leached from his voice, replaced by remorse.
“Just go, Noah. This—us trying to be friends—it’s a bad idea.”
When he didn’t move, she slipped out from under his arm, rounded the corner, and walked steadily up the corridor, back to the ballroom. Noah’s footsteps echoed from behind her, but he didn’t try to catch up. Summer headed into the brightly lit room and back to their table, seeing Eden and Lexie exchange a glance as they approached. Even though she wanted to ask to be driven home, she couldn’t. It would raise too many questions. So instead, she plastered the happiest fake smile she could manage on her face, sat between the two women, and did her best to pretend Noah didn’t exist.
Even though she swore she could feel the burn of his eyes on the side of her face throughout the night, she didn’t look at him again. Instead, she applauded when they announced the winners of the items; Connor scoring the signed guitar and Noah missing out on his drum kit—she didn’t know if he hadn’t ended up bidding or if someone had outbid him. She laughed when the winner of the date with Zac was announced, a matronly society lady who winked at him when her name was read out. And at the end of the night, she calmly thanked everyone for a lovely evening, hugged Lexie and Eden, and got back into the car. Then she spent the drive home wiping away the steady flow of tears as they trickled down her cheeks and wondering why the hell she’d ever thought being around Noah again was a good idea.