When I’m With You by Sandi Lynn
Chapter 3
Paisley
Romeo followed me into the garage, where I took a cigarette from my pack and lit it. This was my vice to get me through the days. My family wasn’t happy that I started smoking again, but it wasn’t their life to live and I made that very clear. Romeo jumped up on the workbench and rubbed his head against my arm.
“What’s wrong, Romeo?”
He meowed. Sometimes we could carry on full conversations. As I was petting his head, my phone rang, and it was Kenny.
“Hello, Kenny.”
“Paisley, did you finish the article yet for next week’s publication?”
“I’m working on it right now. I’ll email it to you tonight.”
“You better. The print department is on my back.”
“Bye, Kenny.”
I sighed. When I finished my cigarette, I picked up Romeo and went back inside to sit at my computer and finish up the questions I so desperately didn’t want to answer. Just as I finished typing the last word and hit the save button, the doorbell rang. I got up and looked out the window to see my darling brother Keaton standing there.
“Keaton, how nice of you to drop by,” I said as I rolled my eyes, knowing who had sent him.
He held up the large brown bag in his hand. “Don’t hate. Mom just asked that if I wasn’t doing anything tonight, if I would stop over and see how you were doing. I brought some Pad Thai and spring rolls.” He smiled.
“Get in here.” I smiled as I took the bag from him and took it to the kitchen.
Romeo came out of hiding and rubbed up against Keaton’s leg.
“Hey, Romeo,” he said as he picked him up and gave him a kiss.
I took a couple of plates from the cupboard and set them on the table. “So what have you been doing since the last time I saw you three days ago?” I smiled.
“The usual. Surfing, building some websites, picking up chicks.”
“So I take it you and Elena are over?”
“I like to think we’re on a break,” he said as he put Romeo down.
I brought the food to the table and we both sat down. “I like Elena. Why are you taking a break?”
“I don’t know. We’ve been fighting a lot.”
“About what?” I asked as I scooped some Pad Thai onto my plate.
“Is this where you’re going to give me some love advice?”
“Nah, I’m off the clock.” I smiled as I bit into the spring roll.
Keaton, with his six-foot stature, neutral brown hair, dreamy hazel eyes, and a ripped surfer’s body, made women gravitate towards him as if he were some kind of magnet.
“Good, because I don’t want any. I’m living life free, sis. I don’t want to be tied down to one person. There are a whole lot of women out there to explore.”
I rolled my eyes.
“How about you?”
“How about me what?” I got up and grabbed a bottle of merlot and two glasses.
“There are a lot of men out there to explore.”
My family’s very existence these days consisted of trying to get me to find someone. What they didn’t understand was that I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted my husband back and I wanted what we had back. The only thing I saw right now for me was a future of being alone.
“No thanks. I had my guy and he was ripped away from me in a matter of seconds.”
Keaton never looked at me with the sadness that the rest of the family did. He saw me as something else. Not just a woman who lost her husband, but a survivor. At least that was what he called me.
“You know, Paisley, there are other guys out there for you.”
“I don’t want to talk about this!” I said in a raised voice.
“You never want to talk about it, but you have to. You have to accept what happened.”
“I have.”
“No, you haven’t. Because if you did, you wouldn’t stay locked up in this house day after day and night after night. Damn, it’s been almost a year.”
“Is this why you came over?”
He gave me his cocky grin. “No. I came over to visit my favorite sister. Don’t tell Piper and Charlotte I said that. After all, you were the one who taught me to surf.”
“Ah yes. I was the bad sibling.” I smiled as I sipped my wine. “Don’t you have somewhere you have to be?”
“Nope. Not tonight,” he said as he made himself comfortable on the couch and turned on the TV.
I sighed. I loved my brother to death, but I just wanted to be alone. Keaton and I were very close. I was close with all my siblings, but there was more of a special connection between the two of us. I could talk to him about things that I wasn’t really comfortable talking to Piper or Charlotte about. Not that it mattered, because everyone in our family had big mouths and no secret was ever safe.
“How about a movie?” he asked.
“Sure. Let me go change into my pajamas first.”
As I walked in the bedroom and opened the closet, I stopped and stared at the row of clothes that were his. Everything was still the way it was the day he died. His drawers were full of his socks and boxers. Sweatpants and sweatshirts still took up half the dresser drawers and his shoes still sat upon the shelves in a neat little row. Romeo strutted in and rubbed up against me, breaking me from my sad thoughts. As I bent down and picked him up, holding him close, I sighed.
“I miss him so much, Romeo.”
“Meow,” he replied as he began to purr.
“I wish you could have known him. He was an amazing and loving man,” I said as tears sprang to my eyes.
“Paisley?”
I turned around. Keaton was standing there with the remote in his hand. I quickly put Romeo down and wiped my eyes.
“Yeah?”
“Whenever you’re ready to pack up his things, I’ll help you,” he said.
“Thanks.” I took in a deep breath and walked over to my pajama drawer.
“The remote needs new batteries. Do you have any?”
“Yeah. Junk drawer in the kitchen.”
“Thanks. I thought maybe we could watch the new X-Men movie.”
“Sounds good. I’ll be out in a minute.”
He turned around and walked away. People had told me that I should move. That I should buy a new place and start new memories. I didn’t want a new place and I didn’t want new memories. I only wanted the memories we made together. People were delusional if they thought otherwise.
I changed into my pajamas and sat down on the couch next to Keaton. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. “Remember, don’t be telling Piper and Charlotte what I said. They’ll kick my ass.” He smiled.
* * *
When I awoke the next morning, I found Romeo snuggled against me with his tail across my nose. As I reached over to pet him, he quietly meowed and moved to the end of the bed. I guess he didn’t want to be bothered. I rolled over on my side and stared at the empty spot where my husband used to lie. I ran my hand gently over the soft and unwrinkled sheet as I closed my eyes and thought about our first night in this bed.
“Feels a little stiff for me,” he said.
“We laid on it in the store and you loved it.”
“I really couldn’t get the right feel because the salesman was standing there.”
“How were you going to get the right feel?”
“By doing this.” He smiled as he pulled me on top of him.
I laughed, and his lips brushed against mine. “This bed will have many stories to tell for the next five years.”
“Only five years?” I asked as I kissed him.
“Yeah, because by that time, we’ll have had so much wild and crazy sex on it that it’ll be begging us to buy a new one.”
“I like that idea.” I smiled.
Romeo started nudging me, indicating that he was hungry. I sighed as I climbed out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to open a can of Fancy Feast. After giving him breakfast, I poured a cup of coffee and sat down at my desk. It was something I did every Saturday morning since my husband had passed away. I took out a piece of pale pink paper from the drawer and my ballpoint black ink pen.
My dearest husband,
This was yet another tough week for me. It’s getting harder to get out of bed in the mornings. They say with time, it gets easier. For me, it’s not. I’m not quite sure why, considering we’ve been apart for almost a year. I went into the office a few days and I had lunch with Lucy. All she talked about was how she suspected that Ray was cheating on her. I went dress shopping with Piper. She and Liam were going out for their one-year dating anniversary. I think he’s going to ask her to marry him. Mom sent Keaton over last night to check up on me, which you know I hate, and he started in on me about not leaving the house. I can feel you here, watching over me, and being home helps me stay closer to you. I love you and I miss you something awful. Take care, my darling.
Love forever,
Paisley
I folded the piece of paper neatly and stuck it in the matching pale pink envelope. I opened my side drawer and tucked the letter neatly behind all the others I’d written every Saturday for almost a year.
