Every Shade by Nora Phoenix
4
They shared Chinese, AJ wolfing down an impressive amount of orange chicken before he finished off the rest of the General Tso’s chicken Las had left.
“I’m a growing boy,” AJ said with a quick grin.
Las held up his hands. “Go for it. I need to be careful. I’m sitting all day, so it starts adding, you know?” He patted his stomach, which had been flat once upon a time, but could now charitably be described as soft.
AJ’s eyes flashed with something wild. “I like a little padding on a guy.”
Las swallowed, something stirring inside him. “Yeah?”
AJ put down his fork, then slowly wiped his mouth off with a napkin. He gave Las a thorough once-over, and a tingle meandered down Las’s spine.
“Mmm.” AJ’s voice dropped low. “Very much so.”
There was a way to segue into more, Las knew it, but his brain wouldn’t come up with anything. How was it possible that at thirty-four, his flirting game was still a disaster? Because AJ was flirting, he was sure of it. He stared at him. AJ’s brown eyes were dark and heavy, completely focused on him. “D-do you want anything more to drink? Another Coke?”
AJ’s mouth pulled up in a slow smile that made his belly go weak. “Do I make you nervous?”
Oh god. Las had to swallow again before he could answer. “I suck at flirting.”
That smile widened, AJ’s eyes sparkling now. “At least we’ve established that you recognized I was flirting. That’s progress.”
“For someone who makes a living using words, I’m horribly inept at using them in actual conversations,” Las admitted.
“Well, we know you can curse up a storm.”
“Not very effective for flirting, I’ve discovered.”
“And you have verbal diarrhea at times, like the whole explanation of why you wanted to order lunch and not make it.”
Las groaned. “Really? You needed to remind me of that?”
AJ leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. “You also have online flirting cred because that whole marriage thing in the ad? Total flirting.”
“I was desperate! Plus, I never thought anyone would actually answer.”
“So what you’re saying is that you’re not desperate enough yet to flirt with me. Got it.”
Las’s eyes widened in shock, until he saw the laughter in AJ’s eyes. “Considering it’s been a while since I…you know…I should be desperate enough.”
Oh god. Where had his brain-to-mouth filter gone?
AJ’s hands came forward as he leaned on the table, slightly cocking his head. “Define a while.”
“You first,” Las shot back, hoping AJ would be embarrassed as well and that would be it.
AJ shrugged. “Not that long. A few weeks, maybe?” He seemed to think. “Yeah, last time was in some club in Phoenix when I traveled there for a shoot. It was one of those random bathroom hookups, but man, it was satisfying.”
Las could never understand how people could talk so casually about sex. His best friend, Cory, was the same. They never batted an eye, not even when describing some sexual encounter in graphic detail—which they only did to rile up Las. It must have been his rather prudish upbringing that still made him blush every time the word sex was even mentioned.
AJ cocked his head. “Your turn.”
Las swallowed, avoiding the brown eyes that were focused on him. “It’s, erm…it’s been a while longer than you. Like, a few months.”
When AJ didn’t say anything, Las looked up, meeting a pair of raised eyebrows, a silent request for more info. God, there was no way out of this, was there?
“Ten months. It’s been ten months.”
“You haven’t had sex in ten months,” AJ said slowly.
“That depends on your definition of sex. I mean, my right hand still works.”
Way to dig that hole deeper and deeper. At this rate, he’d end up in Australia.
AJ grinned. “Glad to hear it. But dude, what the actual fuck? Ten months? Why?”
Las blew out a slow breath. He could have said it was too personal because in a way it was, but despite the embarrassment, he liked that AJ asked. It had been a long time since a guy had been interested in him enough to even ask. That was all him, of course. It was hard to meet people when you rarely left the house.
“I find it hard to navigate,” he finally said.
“Sex?”
“Dating, sex, all of it.”
“Isn’t that why they invented Grindr? What’s hard to navigate there?”
He should’ve known AJ wouldn’t let go.
“You know what? I’m gonna continue building your Malm, and you’re gonna sit with me and explain,” AJ said, and Las found it easy to do as he was told.
“You’re quite bossy.” If he hadn’t been watching AJ, who had already picked up a screwdriver again, he’d have missed the flash of hurt on the man’s face.
“So I’ve been told.”
He didn’t like it, being called bossy, but why? There was something there, Las thought, something far deeper than he could ask. “I like it.” AJ looked up to meet his eyes. “I like that you’re bossy and in charge.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” He thought of their earlier conversation about AJ liking a little padding on a guy. “Very much so.”
The left corner of AJ’s mouth pulled up. “Glad to hear it. Now, talk to me about what’s so hard about scoring a hookup.”
A chuckle escaped from Las’s lips at the lame double entendre, but then he sobered. How could he put into words what he hadn’t even fully grasped himself? It had taken him a long time to realize what the issue was. No, not an issue. There was nothing wrong with him. It was how he was wired, he thought, repeating what Cory had told him a thousand times. They were the only one he’d been able to discuss this with. Then again, Cory knew a thing or two about being different.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it,” AJ said, his voice warm and understanding. It was the last little push Las needed.
“I’m not what men expect considering my body type and age. In sex, I mean. Sexual roles or whatever you want to call it.”
AJ looked up from the dresser, his eyes narrowing as they scanned Las’s body again. Las waited, knowing AJ was smart enough to figure it out. And there it was, the flash of recognition in his eyes. But instead of saying the platitude Las had expected, AJ said something else entirely.
“Neither am I.”
