Every Shade by Nora Phoenix
6
Two months after his unexpected encounter with Micah in Munich, Forest was surprised to find himself in a long-term relationship. No matter how much Micah and he had both stressed it would never work, neither of them were willing to actually end it. Whatever it was. They texted throughout the day and did a long video call at night.
Forest had been lucky that he’d been traveling mainly in the US itself as well as one short trip to Costa Rica, only small time differences with Micah. The three-hour time difference between him on the West Coast and Micah on the East Coast was an issue sometimes, but Micah usually started calling him as soon as he got in the car after work, and switched to video call when he got home.
They had talked about everything and anything by now, and the more Forest got to know Micah, the more the distance between them hurt. How long could they keep this up? It was the question they never brought up, probably because neither of them had an answer.
Forest would leave for a ten-day backpacking trip to Peru tomorrow, and for the first time in his life, he was dreading leaving. He wouldn’t have cell reception for most of his trip, meaning he wouldn’t be able to talk to Micah for at least a week.
“At some point, you’re gonna talk to us, right?” Rain said, quietly leaning against the wall of his kitchen while he packed his gear.
Forest sent her a tense smile and shrugged. “Not sure what good talking is going to do in this case.”
He’d told his parents and siblings about Micah, but not more than the basics. Somehow, it felt too fragile and intimate to share more with them. All they knew was that the two of them had met in Munich and that Micah lived in New York.
“We’re worried about you,” Rain said.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” Rain insisted. “The only time you’re fine is when you’re on the phone with Micah, and even then, there’s this lingering sadness in your eyes.”
His jaw tightened. They didn’t understand. “Look, I know that you’re a big fan of the ‘love will conquer everything’ club, just like mom and dads, but in reality, it isn’t quite that simple. I want to be with Micah, but I can’t, so this is all we have.”
Rain walked up and gently pulled his hands off his backpack, forcing him to face her. “Tell me why, please, because I don’t understand. I can see how much he means to you, so what could possibly be so important that it’s keeping the two of you apart? Doesn’t he feel the same?”
Exhaustion filled Forest, and he let his head rest on his sister’s shoulder, stepping into her embrace. She hugged him, kissing his head.
“He has a job in New York City, a job that means everything to him. I have a job here, so there’s our first problem. Aside from that, Micah went through some shit in his past, and as a result, he has a hard time dealing with change. I can’t ask him to quit his job and move across the country for me. It would totally freak him out. So where does that leave us? I have all these trips that I do for the magazine, and you know I’ve always said I would not give them up for anyone, but right now, if somebody were to call me and tell me our trip to Peru got canceled, I would pop open a bottle of champagne. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to not be able to talk to Micah for a week. This was supposed to be a one-night stand, but I’m in over my head and I don’t know what to do.”
His heart did feel a little lighter now that he had shared this with his sister, but when she remained quiet, he figured she’d helped him the best she could by listening. And she was right, it wasn’t like anybody could do anything.
“Do you want me to just listen to you or can I offer some advice?”
He stepped out of her embrace, looking at her with curiosity. “You have advice?”
She nodded. “Really good advice. Want to hear it?”
He nodded, a sliver of hope unfolding in his heart.
“You always told us you wouldn’t stop traveling until you were done with it yourself, that you wouldn’t give it up for anyone. You’re not giving it up if you choose to travel less because you want to be with Micah. That’s not giving it up for him. That’s realizing that spending time with him means more to you than spending time by yourself, even if you’re traveling. He’s not asking you to, Forest. You’re choosing to. The fact that you’re so reluctant to spend ten days in beautiful Peru should tell you all you need to know.”
She was right. Forest stared at her, his brain considering her words from every angle and not finding any fault in her reasoning. He’d always blamed previous boyfriends for either wanting to come with him on his travels or asking him to stay home. Micah had done neither. He had never so much as protested against Forest’s chosen profession, not even when it separated them even further.
And it was true. He didn’t want to go to Peru, because he didn’t want to lose out on that time with Micah. Every day, he looked forward to their calls so much that he’d started to clear his entire schedule to make sure he would have time.
“There’s more,” Rain said, and Forest blinked.
“I understand why it might be too hard for him to uproot his whole life and move here. So what is keeping you from moving to the East Coast? What is holding you back from moving to New York? And don’t tell me it’s giving up nature, because if you are in love with him as much as I think you are, that is a sacrifice you should be willing to make. Besides, who says that after spending some time together, you couldn’t pick a place where you would both be happy, just not under the incredible pressure that you are in right now.”
Forest blinked again, his mind completely blank. He was sure he’d had reasons why he couldn’t move east, but right now, none of them seemed to make as much sense as his sister’s simple words. Then it hit him, the even deeper truth in her words.
“I’m in love with him,” he said slowly as tears filled his eyes. “Oh my God, Rain, I’m totally in love with him. I don’t want to be without him anymore.”
Rain’s face broke open in a blinding smile. “Do you need a lift to the airport?”
Hours later, he was on a plane to New York, his heart still racing from the craziness of his endeavor. He’d texted Micah that he had an urgent appointment and wouldn’t be able to video call with him before he left on his trip. Micah had reacted with disappointment but had said he understood. Of course, Forest hadn’t told him that he canceled the Peru trip. That had been easier than he’d expected, as a friend of one of the other guys had been happy to take his place.
He didn’t get to Micah’s house till almost midnight, surprised to see all the lights still on inside. Micah usually went to bed pretty early, but maybe he’d changed his plans because it was a Friday night and Forest had canceled their call?
He rang the doorbell, a little nervous about how Micah would react to him showing up out of the blue. Maybe he shouldn’t have sprung this on him, considering the guy’s aversion to the unexpected.
When the door opened, Forest almost took a step back in surprise. That was not Micah but a gorgeous man…woman?…person wearing a flowery skirt, a tight top, and the prettiest purple mascara he’d ever seen.
“Can I help you?” they asked, apprehension coloring their face, until their eyes narrowed as they took in Forest. “Wait. You’re Forest. Oh my god, he’s gonna flip.”
Forest smiled nervously. “Yep, that’s me. Flip in a good way or bad way? Should I leave?”
A strong hand dragged him inside, closing the door behind them. “Oh no honey, you’re not going anywhere. You’re going to be as surprised as he is,” they said, then giggled melodiously.
Forest was pulled into the living room, where his eyes immediately found Micah, who sat on a chair next to three other men, all with their bare feet in small, blue basins with water. The room smelled of lavender, and Forest wondered what the hell they were doing.
“Micah,” the person who had opened the door sing-songed.
Micah looked up and his mouth dropped open, before he jumped up and yanked his feet out of the basin, sending the water sloshing over the edges on every side. With soaking wet feet, he closed the distance between them, and all Forest could do was open his arms and catch him.
He closed his eyes, holding him so tight he felt it in his muscles, inhaling the scent that was uniquely Micah.
“Oh god, I’ve missed you,” he breathed into his ear. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
He gently pulled him back by his neck, needing to see his expression. The shock had been replaced by an emotion so deep that Forest had no doubt Micah loved him.
“I love you,” he said, unable to keep it in any longer. “I love you more than I had ever thought possible.”
“Forest…” Micah sighed against his lips, and in that one word, Forest heard everything he needed to know.
He kissed him, first tender and sweet, then deep and with the urgency of the two months he hadn’t seen him. And Micah kissed him back just as hard and deep and frantic, until wolf whistles around them brought them back to reality.
The others had abandoned their basins as well, and a few towels had been thrown on the floor to soak up the water that was everywhere.
“These are my friends, Kennedy, Lex, Thomas, and BJ,” Micah said, his voice thick with emotion. “Everyone, this is Forest. In case that wasn’t clear.”
Forest waved at the people in the room, refusing to let Micah go just yet. “What were you all doing?” he asked.
“It was supposed to be a surprise for you,” Micah said sheepishly. “We all agreed that I needed a little push to help me overcome my fear of change, so for the last month, they’ve all given me challenges with new things I had to try.”
“He went rollerblading with me,” Kennedy said. “And he had to cook a new recipe twice a week.”
BJ nodded. “I took him to my yoga studio every week for a session, and I made him buy new underwear.” He giggled his eyebrows suggestively, and Forest grinned.
“We did a sushi workshop together and an introductory course to meditation.” That was Thomas, who looked very bohemian, Forest decided.
“My contribution to the new Micah was to make him get a haircut and introduce him to the wonderful world of a mani-pedi. Tonight, we were just gonna soak our feet in some lovely lavender cleansing salts,” Lex said.
Forest looked at Micah, whose eyes showed insecurity. “Those are some pretty big changes,” he said softly. “How did that feel for you, to try so many new things?”
Micah put his head against Forest’s shoulder, and a rush of warmth went through Forest at the memory of how perfect that body had felt against his. He couldn’t believe they were together again.
“The first few ones were scary, but my friends were super supportive and understanding. Thomas helped me see change in a different light and formulated a process, a procedure that had steps I could identify, and that resistance was a natural part of that process. We talked about how I could push through it, and that really helped.”
Forest smiled, recognizing the description from his sister’s approach. “A little cognitive therapy, huh? I’m so proud of you, baby, and so happy to see that it worked for you.”
Micah looked up at him. “It’s not all gone. I mean, this is all still hard for me.”
Forest put both his hands on Micah’s shoulders and made eye contact. “You made progress, that’s what matters. You’re growing, that’s all anyone can ask of you.”
Micah’s face broke open in a smile, and then Forest saw him take a deep breath. “I want to move west with you. I would love to move away from the busyness of the city, and what you’ve told me about where you live and the pictures you showed me, it looks amazing. But I’m not ready yet. That’s too big of a step right now.”
Forest’s heart felt so big it could burst. “Baby, I would love that. But in the meantime, I’m moving here.”
“You’re what?” Micah asked, furiously blinking.
Forest cupped his face with both his hands, kissing him tenderly. “I want to move here. I want to be with you. We’ll figure out the where of it all, but these two months without you were hell.”
“But… But your job? How are you going to do that?”
“I’ve told the magazine I am going part-time, only doing those assignments I want to, the ones that don’t take me away from you for too long. Maybe in the future we can travel together more, but for now, you are my priority. I have some money saved, and there are enough freelance writing jobs available around here, so I’m sure I will find something.”
“Move in with me,” Micah said. “My mom has been on my ass to move out, and she’s right. But I want to do it with you.”
“Babe, that’s a pretty big commitment and a huge change. Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
Micah looked up at him with big eyes that radiated love. “With you, changes don’t seem so big and scary anymore. Besides, I love you too.”
With tears in his eyes, Forest kissed him again, and then he couldn’t let him go again. Apparently, Micah felt the same, because he started tugging him toward the stairs to the basement where his room was.
“You guys go,” BJ waved. “We promise we won’t listen in.”
Someone laughed, but Forest was too preoccupied with Micah to see who it was. “You mean we won’t listen in and you’ll have your ear on the floor.”
“Come on, let’s clean this up so his mom doesn’t come home to a mess. We’ll leave her a note,” someone else said, and then Forest closed the door to the basement behind them and focused on the beautiful man in front of him.
His man.
