Until Delilah by Harlow Layne
Delilah
I shiverand wrap my arms around myself as the boys run around the field and pick up the equipment from practice. Even though it’s late March, the sun’s gone down and there’s a slight wind making it quite chilly. When I was pregnant with Beckham, I was hot all the time. I certainly hope I won’t be cold throughout this pregnancy. I’m sure I’ll be ruing the day I ever thought that when summer rolls around and I’m as big as a whale.
The woman sitting in front of me turns around and smiles warmly at me. I’m not sure if it’s small-town life or if everyone in Tennessee is this nice, but it’s a nice change of pace from Jackson. “We’re all going to a pizza place in town after this, and I wanted to make sure to ask you if you wanted to join us.”
I want to say no, but of course, that’s the exact moment Beckham walks up to me. “Can we go, Mama? A couple of my friends asked me if we’re going.”
“If you want to go, we’ll go.” The only problem is, I have no idea where this pizza place is. I look at the mom who asked. “I’m sorry we’re new and I don’t know the area all that well. Can you give me directions and the name?” I hate not knowing where anything’s at. I need a job so I can get a car and a place to live as soon as possible.
Although, I’ll know the town like the back of my hand soon if I have to go into every business in town to fill out job applications.
“Oh, it’s only a couple of miles away from here on the main road. There’s a big sign that says Luigi’s and you can’t miss it.”
I pull out my phone to order a ride now that I know it’s not within walking distance.
“Mom,” a little boy with brown hair and eyes pulls on her arm, “can Beckham ride with us?” He looks up at her with puppy dog eyes, making both of us laugh.
“Sure,” she laughs a little before she looks at me. “Would you two like to ride with us? We’ve got plenty of room in our van. I could probably haul the entire team if I had to.”
“I wouldn’t want your van’s space to go to waste,” I laugh with her. “I’m Delilah by the way.”
“And I’m Trey’s mom, Kari. We should probably go before they turn into little savages.”
I laugh because I’m all too familiar with the hunger of a growing boy, especially after they’ve just exerted themselves. I follow behind and wait until almost half of the boys on the team load into her van before I get into the front seat. Looking out the window, I wonder if the coach is going to join us.
Sitting back in the seat, I take in my surroundings. While it was happening, I didn’t realize how much Bradley was controlling my life, but I can’t remember the last time I went out with friends. He made it so I was secluded except when it had anything to do with Beckham’s school or his work functions.
Kari laughs along with the boys as they rehash what happened during practice. You’d think with a season of watching Beckham play the game, I’d understand it better than I do, but there’s something about baseball I don’t get. Maybe I never will. I’d like to, so I can talk to him about it more, or at least know what he’s talking about when he’s talking excitedly about what happened.
It only takes us about two minutes to get to the pizza place. The kids race each other to the door and then wait for us, holding the door open. As we walk inside, I notice the few moms who’ve brought their kids to eat watch Max get out of his truck and make his way to the building. I swear I hear a few sighs before they turn to stand in line.
Arching my brow, I look to Kari, wondering what the deal is.
Leaning in, she cups her hand and whispers in my ear. “The reason everyone goes to dinner after practice is… we all think the coach is a hottie. The few that are divorced constantly hit on him, but he turns them down gently. Still, they don’t stop trying to get into his bed for at least one night.”
I pull back and look to see if she’s serious. Haven’t they thought about how uncomfortable it would be if they did hook up with him for a night and then have to face him at every practice and game?
“It’s always their idea of where to go in the attempt to spend a little more time with him and to ogle him. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you just can’t help but check him out. Like now,” Kari’s eyes get big, causing me to turn around to see what the big deal is.
I shouldn’t have turned around. Max is bent over holding something I can’t identify out to a little boy. His ass is encased in a pair of very tight and worn in pair of jeans. I’m not going to lie. It’s a nice ass. Now I understand what has the women making fools of themselves every week.
But the thing that I find the most attractive about him is the easy smile he has on his face while he looks down at the little boy giving him his full attention. The man may have been a former professional baseball player, but his true calling is with children.
“We’re up,” Kari signals as she steps up and pays for all the kids we brought, including me.
Opening my wallet, I start to fish out some money I should be keeping when she stops me. “Don’t worry about it. The parents who aren’t here, pay for the ones who do attend. They already gave me money before practice, and it is far more than they needed to give me.”
“Are you sure?” I question her because her reasoning seems a little fishy. No one even knew we would be on the team until we showed up. Except for Max and his family. While I don’t have the money to blow on an expensive pizza place, I don’t like feeling like a charity case either.
“One hundred and ten percent. Some parents on the team think they’re too good to watch their kids practice or socialize with the likes of us. The parents are snobs, but their boys are sweet. I’m surprised they let their kids even associate with ours with the way they look at us. Luckily, the kids are sweet and don’t think they’re better than the rest of us.” Kari tilts her head to the side and looks to a couple of boys who didn’t ride with us and are joking around with the other boys. “Now let’s go find ourselves a seat before we’re stuck at one of the kids’ tables.”
I notice the other moms are hovering around Max as he talks to people who stop him on the way to the section we’re sitting at. They really are desperate.
We sit and I try to keep my eyes off Max and the bevy of women who stand around waiting for his attention. I need to remember what happened to the last man I thought was good and the predicament I’m in now because of him. I’m single, pregnant, and have a seven-year-old. I’ve got no car or house to my name, and I’m running for my life.
Even though Max seems like a nice guy I shouldn’t even be looking. He doesn’t need or deserve to take on my baggage. All I need to say is I’m pregnant and I’m sure he’ll retreat and start looking at me like he does the rest of the moms.
Max stops beside our table and grins down at us. “Kari,” he nods to her and then looks toward me. “Do you ladies mind if I sit at your table?”
“No, please, we’d love to have you,” Kari responds and starts to move her purse from the seat beside her when Max pulls the chair out beside me and sits down.
“Thanks for having me, he smiles at Kari and then turns the full weight of his gaze on me. “I thought I’d see how you’re settling in.”
I hate lying, but I see no other way. I can’t tell anyone we’re staying at the women’s shelter.
“Good. We haven’t been here long, but I love the area and vibe of the town.”
Kari raises a skeptical eyebrow. “You mean a town where everyone knows everyone’s business?”
“So far, I don’t mind. I come from living in big cities where you feel inconsequential. I like the thought of getting to know people and seeing them every day.” While I do like the concept, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t have traveled to a big city where it would be harder for Bradley to find me. Because I do know, eventually, he’ll find me. He won’t give up until he’s caught me or thinks I’m dead.
“Really?” Kari leans forward, placing her elbows on top of the table as she gives me her full attention. “Where did you used to live?”
Shit. I should have known there would be questions. I try to hide the panic of lying to them. I realize I should be able to tell them a little about myself without giving too much away. “I grew up in Los Angeles.”
“Wow, I haven’t even been out of Tennessee.” Kari leans the side of her face on her hand. “Is traffic really as bad as they make it seem?”
“It’s pretty bad all the time, but you get used to it. My parents moved out of the city when I was young, but we still went into LA quite a bit.”
Max leans forward, his piercing blue eyes trained on me. “Do you miss it?”
“LA? No,” I shake my head. “I do miss my parents though.”
Earlier in the day, I sent my sister, Ava, a text letting her know we’re alive, and then promptly turned off my new phone in case Bradley has her phone bugged or any type of software on there where he can read her messages.
After I turned off my phone before she could respond, I sat and cried for a solid twenty minutes before I cleaned myself up and went out looking for a job. With red, bloodshot, and puffy eyes, I hadn’t landed any of the positions I applied for.
“Hey,” Kari put her hand on top of mine, “are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I barely say as I blink back tears. Pregnancy hormones are no joke. My emotions are all over the place and thinking about how long it will likely be until I get to see my family doesn’t help matters either.
From under the table, Max drops his hand on my knee and squeezes it while he stares down at me. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, it’s these damn pregnancy hormones. They make me cry at the drop of a hat,” I say as I try to play it off.
Kari’s eyes get wide as she blinks back her surprise. “You’re pregnant?”
I nod. I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, but it’s for the best for everyone to know now instead of them finding it out later.
“Well, how far along are you and where’s the dad?”
“Kari,” Max scolds, “not everyone is an open book like you are.”
Kari pays no attention to Max and looks at me. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but if you don’t, the rumor mill will fill in the gaps once they find out you’re pregnant.”
Max gives me a reassuring smile, giving me the courage to give her a half-answer. “I’m not far along. I only just found out recently I’m pregnant. It wasn’t planned.”
“Where’s Beckham’s father?” Max blurts.
“He’s dead. He died not long after I gave birth to Beckham while he was serving in the military. I should have gone home after that, but I was too depressed to do anything but sit at home and take care of my baby.” I’m not sure if I say the last part out loud or to myself.
“So, you have a new man?” Kari looks to my left hand obviously looking for a ring.
“Not anymore. It didn’t work out, so I decided it was time for Beckham and me to move on. I didn’t know where I was going, but when I saw Murfreesboro, I liked its charm and thought it might be where we should set up house.”
Luckily, in that moment, a server comes by to take our order. She tells us the pizzas the boys have ordered and asks if their orders are ok. I’ve never been to a buffet style place where you pay when you walk in and order your pizza from the table. They give you two slices of what you order, and you can keep ordering more. It’s doesn’t make sense, but I kind of like it. I order a couple of slices of barbecue chicken pizza while Max orders a supreme and Kari orders taco. It doesn’t take long before we’ve each got our slices in front of us.
“Don’t look now, but it seems the other moms are jealous we get the coach to ourselves tonight,” Kari whispers from across the table.
Max doesn’t look up, but he does smirk at her comment.
The other moms glare our way from across the room. I’m sure they’re dying to know what we’re talking about over here.
“Are they always like that?” I don’t really need to get on the bad side of a group of jealous women.
“Can’t say. Normally coach sits with a group of guys, but I guess they aren’t coming tonight.” Kari looks over to Max and then back to me.
“They couldn’t make it tonight.” He eyes me. “If you don’t want to sit by me, I understand. I can get up and move elsewhere.”
“Don’t go,” Kari nearly shrieks. “We didn’t mean anything by it. I was only stating facts.”
“If you’re sure.” He smirks before he takes a bite of his pizza.
I have a feeling Max likes the attention. While he’s nice and all, I get a playboy vibe from him as well. How could he not be after being in the MLB? After my comment earlier about being pregnant, I’m sure he’ll never be interested in me. Which is a good thing.
Kari tells me stories about all the moms at the other table and I get the feeling she loves to gossip. I’m sure by the game on Saturday everyone will know I’m pregnant and a single mother to boot. I’ll be the talk of the town.
“We should probably get going so the boys can get cleaned up before they go to bed,” Kari announces after she’s told me stories about every person in the room except Max. “I’ll give you a ride back to your car.”
“That’s alright, I can give them a ride,” Max announces, saving me from having to explain that I don’t have a car.
“It’s really no bother.” she tries to argue, but Max waves her offer away.
Max throws some bills down for a tip and heads over to the little arcade area all the boys are playing in.
Kari sidles up next to me as we wait for the boys. “Well, aren’t you lucky? First, he sits next to you while we eat, and now, he’s driving you to your car.”
I can only shrug as I wonder if I’ve already lost the only friend I thought I’d made here.
“I want to hear all the details at the game on Saturday, you lucky bitch.” Kari doesn’t say more once Trey comes to stand beside her, bouncing on the balls of his feet. The kid seems to have endless energy.
I spot Beckham waving to a few of the boys and I can see how tired he is from across the room. I know once he takes a shower, he’ll pass out for the night.
“If you want, we can wait until everyone leaves so we don’t give them something to talk about,” Max says from behind me, nearly giving me a heart attack.
I jump and turn to face him with my hand to my chest. “How are you so silent with how big you are?” Max only smirks down at me. “I don’t think we have anything to worry about on that front. I have a feeling Kari will be spreading far and wide what she learned tonight, and no one is going to believe you are interested in a single mom who’s pregnant with no man on the horizon.”
“Well, if they believe that, then they don’t really know me, do they? I don’t think Kari will say anything though. She likes you. ” Max waves Beckham over and then puts his hand to my lower back. The jolt of electricity that zings up my spine has me wanting to move away from his touch, but I don’t. My mind is still whirling from his comment and trying to make sense of it.
“Hey, buddy,” He ruffles Beckham’s hair, making it stick out in every direction. “I’m going to give you and your mom a ride home if that’s okay with you.”
Beck nods enthusiastically. I love how Max is with him. It’s how I wish Bradley had been, but sadly he never warmed up to my son in the four years I was with him. Again, that should have been a sign. What was I thinking staying with a man who didn’t like my child or who hadn’t proposed to me in four fucking years? Not that I would have said yes. At least I hope I wouldn’t have.
I let Max guide me out to his truck and watch as he stands to make sure Beckham gets inside. I hurriedly get inside, not wanting him to help me. He probably offered the ride out of pity for the poor pregnant woman without a car. What’s worse is I don’t want to feel the bolt of excitement that runs through my body every time he touches me. I need to keep my distance from him.
Max looks into his rearview mirror and then over to me before he states softly. “He’s tired.”
“He is. I don’t think he’s been sleeping the best these last few nights,” I admit. It’s probably because we’re sharing a tiny bed, and if either one of us moves, we wake up the other.
“Do you want me to talk to him? See if anything’s bothering him? I know sometimes kids don’t always tell their parents what’s going on with them, but will open up to someone outside the home.”
“It’s okay, but thanks. I’m sure he’ll sleep like the dead tonight. He’s exhausted. Putting him on the team is exactly what he needed to expel some of his energy. And thanks for giving us a ride. Kari’s nice and all, but—”
“You don’t want to have to explain your circumstances to her. I get it. This is part of living in a small town. While you may know everyone, they will know everything about you unless you make it a point to stay private.” Max turns to look at me for only a moment before he looks back to the road.
Little does he know I’ll do everything possible so no one learns the reason we moved to their little town.
Max pulls up to the same spot I had him drop us off the night before. It’s in front of an apartment building about a mile away from the shelter. If there had been any place closer, I would have had him drop us off there, but sadly, most of it is businesses, and that would only lead to questions I don’t want to answer.
“Do you need any help getting inside?” he asks.
“We’re good, but thank you. You’re too kind.” I lift up a hand and wave. Beckham tries to give an enthusiastic wave too but fails due to his exhaustion. “We’ll see you at the game on Saturday.”
Standing in the parking lot, we wait until Max’s truck is out of sight and then I hold my arms open, knowing I can’t ask my son to walk the mile it will take us to get to the shelter. He’s already dead on his feet and I have a feeling I’ll be the same once we get to the shelter.
After twenty very long minutes, I stand at the door to the women’s shelter and try the door one more time only for it not to budge. I read over the sign again, only I can’t see the words as I tear up, but I have the words burned into my mind.
Doors are locked promptly at nine o’clock sharp and will be opened again in the morning at eight a.m.