Passionate Obsession by D.M. Mortier

Chapter Four

Katia

Padma Katia Gupta, don’t be such a damn coward! And after those encouraging words to myself, I had to put on my big girl panties. I stepped forward to give my sons the customary kiss whenever they left the house with their father. What was not customary, however, was my stepping close enough to Mac so that my breasts grazed the arm he had around our son.

His familiar scent filled my senses, and a fireball of desire blazed through my stomach and pelvis. I loved being this close to him. He reminded me of a fierce Spartan warrior with his seemingly endless dedication to his work, his loyalty to me and the boys, and his unwavering discipline. He was built for it. A trained, lethal gladiator. I bit back a smile, amending that thought and reaffirming that he was our gladiator, mine and the boys’. Our unrelenting protector. Our anchor. Ours, etched in every line of his warrior-like body and demeanor. He was tall, a massive man in every way at over six and a half feet. It was as if he were from an era when men were fearsome giants with gladiator skills and instinct.

Yesterday when he walked into the conference room, I had to squeeze my thighs together to try quelling the throbbing. He was usually dressed in a custom elegant suit, and there was nothing more delicious than Mac in a custom-fitted suit delineating every inch of his imposing frame. Yesterday he wore a suave dove grey suit that was custom-made for his massive body. And despite the elegance of the suit, it couldn’t hide the fact that he was a man of action, dangerously proficient, and patently masculine. Incredibly lethal to my senses.

I watched him move into the conference room, trying to hide my fascination. Despite his size, he moved with panther-like, stealthy grace, his body all sinewy muscle and undeniable power. His strides were economical, a confident swagger that never failed to make my insides throb even more intensely. I had wanted to revel in it, wanted to bathe my senses with it. However, I didn’t dare let him see what he was doing to me. What he always did to me.

Today, I allowed myself the subtle touch of his arm against my chest. I wanted more. Maybe I could sneak a brief kiss to his cheek. Should I take a chance?

“Be good for your daddy, boys,” I whispered as I delivered loud, smacking kisses to each of their cheeks. I turned my head and didn’t dare look into those brilliant sapphire eyes before reaching up to kiss Mac’s cheek. Except, it wasn’t his cheek I encountered. To my shock, he turned his head at the same time and my lips landed on his instead. Those masculine lips on mine shouldn’t have turned my knees to the consistency of Jell-O, but it did, and my only recourse to not fall flat on my face in front of our sons was to loop my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life.

He didn’t move an inch toward me. He didn’t have to, because I eliminated the space between us until my breasts were buried against his broad chest, my belly against the hard contours of his, and my hips cradled against his. His lips moved over mine with blatant sensuality. I angled my head to give him better access at the invasion of his tongue, stroking, exploring, and owning me. I was lost, loving his taste on my tongue. My stomach twisted in a tight knot, and the throbbing low in my pelvis intensified.

“Mommy!” Colin pulled my hair impatiently.

I was suspended in La La Land. Okay, so I didn’t reach up to kiss him, and Mac hadn’t turned his head to fuse our lips. Instead of the devastating kiss that I’d just fantasized about, I had been hugging Colin a bit too tight, and now he scrunched his little face with impatience and protested.

Mac held me immobile with a piercing, accessing gaze. It was the first time that I had ever looked directly into his eyes. I didn’t expect it to feel so soul stripping. It laid me bare, and I felt frighteningly exposed.

“Hair, nails, and the facial are fine. The boys and I will be back by then.” His voice was gruff and unyielding.

“What?” My brain hadn’t come back online yet to comprehend simple words. Did he just tell me no to the date with Darrel?

“No movie. It’s too dangerous.”

“Daddy!” Liam bellowed. The boys were impatient to go to their soccer tryouts.

“We’ll be back by six tonight,” Mac said, almost as a warning before finally leaving the house with the boys.

I sighed and slumped inelegantly against the nearest wall. The sudden absence of his presence after such an avalanche of sensations had me temporarily stunned and exhausted for some reason. I was still on a high, wishing that kiss had happened. What had he said? My brain was still too fuzzy to fully comprehend. God, this wanting was getting worse.

I wish that I’d had the nerve to kiss Mac the way I wanted, the way I had been dreaming about for years. To feel his lips on mine. To finally have him look at me with desire as strong as mine for him. From the first time I saw him, I’d instantly dropped my guard and opened my heart to him despite the lingering guilt of commitment I felt for Trey. Being open to Mac’s affection and giving mine in return wasn’t something that I ever thought about withholding; it just was.

I had never been attracted to a Caucasian man before. So, this intensity of sensations and emotions was a complete blindside. Before meeting Mac, I thought I would love Trey forever. I thought Trey was my one. The other half of me. I fought these feelings I have for Mac. God, how I fought. I had been convinced that they had come about because he saved us and took care of us. But over the years, the emotions were too intense, infiltrating my every waking moment. I missed him when he wasn’t with us. Of course, I lied and always blamed the boys, but it was me who missed him, who wanted him close. And Mac gave the boys lots of time with him, especially as they got older. I just wished that I could have some me-time with him too. Damn, five years of wanting this man and having damp, uncomfortable panties was beginning to make me cranky as hell!

I shook my head with disgust at myself as I remembered my lost nerve on asking Mac out to a movie with me instead of making up the supposed date with Darrel. He asked me what my plans were for the day, and because I didn’t want to sound like a pathetic loser, I made up the date with Darrel this afternoon. I groaned and planted my face in my palm.

A few people from work were going to see the latest action flick that several of the guys had collaborated on with the movie producers. Darrel was one of almost eight other people in the group. I had considered joining them, and now I couldn’t believe that I had just told such a whopper. I used Darrel’s name because he has been asking me out, and while all the women in the office had been trying to get me to take him up on it, there was only one man I was interested in. Only one man made my senses come alive whenever he was within a mile radius. There was no contest.

Although I didn’t get pregnant with my twins the natural way, I still felt as if Mac was my man and I was his woman. Geez, we might as well be husband and wife in the truest sense. I live in a house he bought, live off what he provides, and have given birth to his children. No husband or father could have taken care of us better. He is at our house more than he’s at his penthouse apartment.

Mac paid all our bills. Any money I made from my job, Mac insisted I keep for me, never mind that he still gave me an expense allowance for me and the boys. I didn’t understand the allowance when he paid for all the groceries, utilities, and maintenance of the house through the house account. He paid for the boys’ schooling and any extra-curricular activities like their soccer and swimming lessons directly. And also, he allotted money to the house account for any clothes for me and the boys and entertainment or dining out that we did. So, yeah, the allowance thing was kind of pointless when he paid for everything anyway.

I started working at the FBI field office based purely on Mac’s recommendation and a slight task Mac had tested me with. I smiled remembering the nonplused look on his face when I succeeded. The subsequent interview with the Director and some other officials at the Bureau were just as amusing. Yes, I had the qualifications to be an information security analyst, probably more than qualified since I had finished my master’s in computer science with Mac’s support two years ago.

The bottom line was that if it wasn’t for Mac, nothing I’d achieved in the past five years would have been possible. I should feel bad, but I was simply grateful that neither Mac nor anyone at the Bureau ever suspected what my true source of information was. It was best that no one knew because it could draw undue attention to us.

I owed Mac more than my life. He saved me from a fate worse than death. I was sure those scientists were going to kill me, but they were also going to experiment on my babies for the rest of their lives. I couldn’t imagine any greater crime. And the day Mac came for us was still the happiest, most monumental day of my life. Not even being hit by a bus and held captive in a comatose state, while being impregnated by a group of nutty scientists seemed as monumental.

My unrequited love wouldn’t seem so pathetic if I didn’t know about the woman in his life. The only woman he seemed to be interested in. The woman he really loved.

Elizabeth.

God, she was the last person I wanted to think about today. Mac’s long-time girlfriend and the love affair he maintained no matter what was going on in his life. Elizabeth was everything I was not.

From a rich, influential family, Elizabeth Graham was a successful lawyer in her own right. And when the boys and I entered Mac’s life, she had already been his girlfriend for more than a year. Her family held a partnership in a law firm that had been around for over 150 years. Apparently, Mac’s family had always used the law firm for their family empire that spanned decades.

The slim leggy redhead was also one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, with a body that other women usually had surgery to achieve. Not only was she beautiful and successful but she had also been very nice to me and the boys. Initially.

Why was I even thinking about this?Mac had saved me and my babies. That should be enough. Hell, the last thing I should be thinking about is jumping his bones and making a nuisance of myself. It was clear that the man wasn’t even into black women, right? I mean, look at the evidence. His girlfriend had that white alabaster porcelain skin, that skinny-girl model physique, and a daunting sophistication I couldn’t hope to emulate any time in this lifetime. I was the antithesis of that. Hell, she reminded me of one of those perfectly beautiful vampires in Twilight, perfectly dressed and with that perfectly cultured speech pattern. The most I had was a bit of my mother’s Jamaican accent. How could I compete with her?

And to add insult to injury, the bitch had been uber nice to me. Not many women would have accepted another woman with babies in tow into their boyfriend’s life. Newborns that were clearly conceived during their budding relationship. I had no idea what Mac told her for her to be so damn accepting. I sure as hell wouldn’t have been so accommodating.

At least I’d thought she was an accommodating girlfriend for the first year we were with Mac.

Initially when I met her, I was too busy recovering from the coma and childbirth to appreciate the love triangle Mac had inadvertently forced us to live with.

I was too grateful for the roof over my head and the absolute care Mac provided us to have an opinion about Elizabeth. Besides, I still loved Trey and hoped that, at some point, we would find our way back to each other. I didn’t put up much of a fuss when Mac settled us into our own home. Hell, the man married me and installed us in a mansion. What was there to complain about? I had no idea of what Elizabeth knew and what she didn’t. I was living it, and I barely understood what the hell was going on either!

Don’t judge me, but I did try to not eavesdrop on Mac and Elizabeth. Seriously, don’t judge. I tried, but a girl had to know. Let’s just say that I listened until the kissing started. Scrub my brain! I never tried that shit again. In fact, I never eavesdropped on Mac again, at least not consciously. Trey, on the other hand, I stalked religiously. And I mean every spare moment I had. Which wasn’t much, but for the first year married to Mac, Trey was all I thought about and, therefore, unconsciously eavesdropped on. So, I didn’t have time to stalk Mac as well.

I learned pretty quickly that, although Mac worked as an FBI agent, he didn’t really need to work because he was super wealthy. I hadn’t known much about Mac. I should have though. The man bought me a mansion, complete with a housekeeper and butler. A housekeeper and butler who were better armed than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in the movie, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Thank God, in all this time, they had never been called to use them.

Yeah, I should have at least suspected Mac’s wealth.

How he came to be? Who his people were? Did he inherit his wealth, or did he earn it? I didn’t know, nor did I quite understand how his life worked. At some point, I did realize that Mac seemed to ride just as easily in his private jet as he did in his beat-up Ford 150 truck. Mac oozed confidence and had an easy swagger that had me following his dictate with barely a whimper. And for a fiercely independent woman like me, that was saying something. Part of it was because of Mac’s unwavering, generous spirit and gentle guidance. His command and leadership weren’t loud or particularly forceful; it just was. His was a cool, calm command. Even watching him at work I was in awe of how he effortlessly led people and events without others being aware of it. He helped people, and everyone was drawn to him because of it.

He seemed to be living the pedestrian life as a dedicated government employee, but from Friday to Sunday, he was Andrew McAllister, handsome, charismatic wealthy philanthropist about town. That was the world Elizabeth occupied with him. I wasn’t sure at first how I’d fit, and that was the main problem. I didn’t.

He bought the boys and I a huge-ass house and a custom luxury SUV as though he were shopping in Payless. And while I was in awe of his wealth and power, I never tried to enter his private life. I was too intimidated by it all. And to be honest, not only was I still hung up on Trey, but I was also too terrified at first to have an opinion because I had nothing. I relied on Mac for everything. Care. Protection. Security.

Elizabeth was his girlfriend, and she effortlessly played the role with an ease that I couldn’t hope to achieve, nor did I want to. She was always stylishly dressed. Hair and makeup flawless. The consummate partner with impeccable manners when they went out as a couple to functions in their world of the rich and influential. They were featured in the local society pages of the newspaper at least every few months.

I knew because I kept every clipping after I banned myself from eavesdropping on them. I hadn’t suspected yet that my feelings for Mac had morphed into something so intense. I had convinced myself that I was still in the “I love Trey” and “I miss Trey” phase.