The Killer’s New Obsession by B.B. Hamel
Irene
Cam risked one more gathering of as many of the girls as he could. We stood outside the manor house in the long yard with guns lying in the grass. Twenty yards away, targets were riddled with bullet holes. There were twelve girls there in all, less than half the total number, but that was good enough.
Sasha sat next to me, idly braiding a few strands of my hair. She seemed so happy and girlish ever since the raid on that Healy safe house, like killing those men had taken some kind of burden from her. I didn’t ask her about it, about that smile and her pure joy at killing, and she didn’t seem to want to talk, but it hung there in the silences and I was afraid for her.
But the other girls seemed happy, and so I pushed my worries aside.
Cam stood off to the side with Don Valentino and talked in soft voices. I could guess what they were saying—big, serious, manly planning stuff. I was tempted to get up and go over there, just to see what they were talking about, but I liked it when Sasha tugged at my hair. It felt good to have a friend that touched me without any ulterior motive.
“We’re ready, you know,” Sasha said suddenly.
I jumped a little. We hadn’t spoken in almost ten minutes. I was so lost in thought that I’d nearly forgotten she was there.
“I know,” I said, turning slightly toward her, trying not to pull my hair from her hands. “You’re one hell of a shot.”
She laughed. “I know I am,” she said, grinning. “Better than the rest of these bitches.” Her smile slowly faded. “But that’s not what I mean. We’re ready, you know? They know what might happen.”
“You mean, you’re ready to die,” I said, feeling a chill in my stomach.
Sasha shrugged. “I’m not ready to die, no,” she said. “I definitely don’t want to. None of the girls here do. But we’re all ready to take the risk.”
“I wish you didn’t have to,” I said, frowning at her. I’d only known her a little while, but she’d become a really good friend. We spent a lot of time walking around the grounds talking about our lives, and we had a lot in common.
“It’s not just for us,” Sasha said. “It’s for all the other girls that aren’t fighting. And for all the girls that they’d bring in to replace us if we just ran away. I think we all know that some other poor girl from back home will just take our place. I don’t want that.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. I was so anxious, but hearing her talk like that took some of the edge away. I didn’t want to lose her and didn’t want to see any of the girls get hurt—but if she was ready, and everyone accepted what might happen, then I couldn’t stop them.
I’d have to accept it.
“You’re braver than I ever was,” I said. “The only reason I came here off the street is because I stupidly tried to steal from Ronan.”
“Stupid, brave, no difference,” Sasha said and that big smile was back. “I’m only crazy, really. You haven’t seen the half of it.”
“Crazy as hell,” Vera said suddenly and threw a clump of grass at Sasha. “Craziest bitch I know.”
“Except me,” Lara complained. “I’m way crazier.”
“You’re all crazy,” I said and couldn’t help but feel an incredible admiration for these girls, all of them abused and broken, all of them angry and preparing to kill, and maybe get killed.
I loved them and was terrified for them.
“All right, everyone,” Cam said, walking away from Don Valentino. He held his hands up in the air. “I need everyone to listen up for a second.”
“Big boss man needs a word,” Sasha called out. “So shut the fuck up.”
He nodded at her and waited for the girls to stop talking. All eyes were trained on him, and Cam stared back at them like an older brother addressing his sisters. I felt a sudden surge of pride that nearly overwhelmed my fear. Cam did this, Cam brought all these girls together, and maybe he was doing it to save my life and to do his own job, but he could’ve found some other way to get at Ronan. Instead, he gave these girls a chance.
“Tomorrow night is the big night,” he said, looking at each face one after the other. “Most of you know the plan, but for those of you that don’t, it’s simple. We’ve broken each house up and armed as many girls inside as possible. At five minutes after midnight, you’re all going to get out your guns in your individual house and kill every single motherfucker you see. Kill all the Healy men, kill all their clients, and then you hunker down and wait, because the family’s going to send more after you. Hunker down, hide, and when more Healy men show up thinking they’ll blast a bunch of dumb whores out of the water, you show them what you are.”
“Fuck, yeah,” Sasha said, standing up. “You hear that, girls? All at the same time, we’re gonna fuck the Healys up. If any single one of you backs out and doesn’t go through with this, you’re screwing everyone else. We’ve gotta do it all together, right at the same time, hit them so hard they don’t know what’s happening.”
“Hell, yeah,” Vera said, grinning savagely, and Anna started cheering. The girls joined in, clapping and laughing and shouting wildly, blowing off some steam, and Cam grinned at them and walked away.
I stood and joined him while the girls broke up into smaller groups and headed toward the front of the house. Don Valentino spoke softly with some of them, probably encouraging them to be strong.
Cam slipped his hand into mine. “You still feeling nervous?” he asked.
“Still nervous,” I confirmed. “But I talked to Sasha and I think I’m okay.”
“They’re ready,” he said. “And this is going to work.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, looking up into his face.
“I’m positive.” We walked past the trees and down into the forest that ringed around the Valentino compound. Paths cut through the shady underbrush and we paused near a wide clearing beside a big, old tree with a gnarled, curbed trunk and drooping branches. He leaned up against it and pulled me toward him, hands on my hips.
I put my palms on his chest and felt his heart beating fast. He looked down into my eyes and I tilted my chin toward him, lips parted.
“What happens after?” I asked. “And I don’t mean for them.”
“You tell me,” he said softly. “You’re the one that wants to run back onto the streets.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want that anymore.”
“No? What changed your mind.”
I hit him softly, smiling. “Don’t be a dick about this.”
“I’m not playing,” he said. “What changed your mind?”
“You did,” I said. “All this changed my mind.” I chewed on my lip. “Listen, Cam—”
“Wait,” he said, touching my cheek. “I want to say something first. I need you to know something before we keep going.”
“What?” I whispered.
He leaned down and kissed me gently, barely brushing his lips against mine. His hand gripped me harder as he kissed my neck and I felt his breath hot on my throat. He pulled back and gently touched my cheek with his hand and I leaned into it, wanting him so badly, needing his body, his arms, everything he could give me and so much more.
“I love you,” he said. “I’ve loved you for a very long time. I never stopped loving you when you went away, and I won’t stop even if you run again. So let me keep loving you, Irene. Stay with me.”
“I love you too,” I said, standing on my toes to kiss him deep and slow.
We stood in that forest for a long time, maybe forever. I felt his lips and heart, his body, tasted his tongue and knew that I couldn’t go back. When the kiss ended, I rested my cheek against his chest as he held me harder.
“What were you going to say before I very rudely interrupted you?” he asked.
I smiled slightly. “Just that I was wrong,” I said. “I never should’ve run away. That was a mistake, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You did what you thought you had to do, but you’re back now. That’s all that matters.”
I closed my eyes and listened to the wind in the trees and the bird fluttering from branch to branch and the sound of leaves crunching against bushes and knew in my heart, in my chest and gut, in every inch of me, that this was my man, that this was the person I was meant to be with forever.
This was my Cam.
I never should’ve given up on him and ran away. When he joined the Valentino family, I thought I was losing him forever. I thought they’d change him into a monster.
And they did change him. But he wasn’t some mindless beast, murdering for the fun of it. He did his job and protected his family, but he wasn’t the rotten, dark prince I feared.
He was still my Cam. Still the man I loved back then. He was the man I could still love.
He was so much more than that—and I wanted it all.
Running was a mistake and I’d pay the price for the rest of my life.
But if I stayed now, maybe I could make up for some of that lost time.
I pressed myself against him and we stayed there beneath that tree until dusk came and the sky turned pink then purple then black, before heading back up to the house.
