Her Dirty Archeologists by Mika Lane

5

FLEUR HOLMES

“What a great flight.”

Professor Bancroft, whom I’d snagged a seat next to on the plane, looked at me like I was crazy.

I knew some people were cranky when they had jet lag. But I felt great.

I’d not only finished my super-hot romance novel but also slept a good six hours. I was ready to take on the world.

Even if I weren’t going to have a shower for four weeks. Seriously, when Bancroft told me that, I almost fainted. But hey, I was a flexible sort of person. I could deal with anything that came my way.

The flight had been lovely, really, and with all the free alcohol I wanted. Such an awesome bonus for an underpaid grad student like me.

We picked up our luggage and the guys insisted on putting my stuff on a luggage cart for me. I didn’t say anything, but I think they were probably showing off a little. It was all good. A little gallantry never hurt anyone.

And Professor Keller’s twin brother—what was his name again?—was just as handsome and muscular as he was.

Seriously. It was pretty wild I was traveling with three hunky guys, who also happened to be leaders in the field of archeology. There was nothing better than hot nerds if you asked me.

Not that anything would come of it. But I did plan on enjoying my very own personal eye candy for as long as we were all working together.

After passing through immigration and customs, we burst into the public area of the airport.

Huh.

“Um, Professor Bancroft, does this look right to you?” I asked, stopping short with my luggage cart.

He wheeled his suitcase next to mine and bent closer to hear me over the racket. “What’s that, Fleur? Are you having trouble with your bags again?”

I didn’t know why he thought my bags were so out of control.

“Also, Fleur, please call me Drake. We needn’t be so formal since we’re working together now,” he added.

“I… I said… I don’t think we’re in the right place, Prof—I mean, Drake,” I said, swatting at a mosquito.

I looked around the airport at a deafening swarm of humanity. The crowds were so dense I couldn’t see the exits, people pushed through the throngs with all their belongings stuffed into plastic trash bags, and every few seconds the crowd parted to make room for guards with gigantic guns. And mean faces.

What sort of hell had we stumbled into?

And more importantly, was it time to turn around and head back home?

“C’mon,” Drake yelled over the crowd, gesturing for us to follow.

But the jostling kept me from moving forward any more than a few inches. Thank god he glanced back over his shoulder and saw my distress. He returned to me, threw his own bag on top of all of mine, and began to push my cart.

I wasn’t letting him get away from me this time.

And suddenly, there was a hand on my arm. I looked up to find one of the guards smiling down on me.

“American? American girl?” he asked with a gigantic smile.

“Um… um…” I stammered.

But Drake grabbed my arm and yanked me in his direction. “Get off her,” he yelled, propelling me into the mass of people.

“What was that all about—” I started to ask, wondering if it was really necessary for him to be so rude.

“You don’t want to know. Now, hold my arm,” he demanded, extending his elbow while continuing to push our stuff forward, like a fish swimming upstream.

“Where are the Keller brothers?” I shouted above the noise.

He gritted his teeth and moved forward several feet. “Don’t worry about them. They’ll get through this.”

Oh, what had I done?

And how was I going to survive this?

Not only was the chaotic crowd one step away from a stampede, the air was fetid with a humid heat that already had sweat running down my temples and my thighs sticking together. The floor beneath us was uneven and cracked, not at all conducive to my cute platforms, and all sorts of people, animals, and god knew what else were brushing up against and even banging into my bare legs.

I held on to Drake tighter.

Was this all a mistake? Had I studied archeology for years, as an undergrad and now a graduate student, only just now to be learning that places like this were to be a part of my future?

I’d heard the stories. Long days, sleeping in tents, curious locals. But I hadn’t expected this.

When we finally pushed through open doors into the sunshine, I took a deep breath of relief, only to have my lungs flooded with second hand smoke. Turned out that the airport, chaotic as it was, didn’t permit indoor smoking.

Drake stopped and wiped sweat from his brow. “That’s always crazy, getting through that gauntlet of humanity. Wow. Fun, huh?” he asked, smiling triumphantly.

Was he fucking kidding?

“Um… yeah. Fun,” I said with forced cheerfulness. “That was really… something.”

He waved over the crowded sidewalk. “There are the Kellers. Let’s go.”

With the four of us reunited, I hoped the worst was over. “Okay. What’s next?” I asked.

“Well,” Professor Keller said, “we have a five-hour bus ride, then we pick up jeeps and drive two hours to the site.”

“Wh… why didn’t we fly closer to the site, then? And avoid the bus ride.”

All three men turned to look at me like I was out of my mind.

Right. Okay. This was the closest airport.

“Hey, I’m heading to the men’s room before we get on the bus. Anyone else gotta go?” Drake said.

The Keller brothers shook their heads.

“I do. I need to go. Do you know where the ladies’ room is?” I asked doubtfully.

“Sure. Follow me,” Drake said, extending his elbow once more.

When we reached the bathrooms, Drake brought me right up to the ladies’ room door. “Okay. As soon as I’m done, I’ll wait for you right here. Don’t go anywhere else, okay?”

Jesus. It wasn’t like I’d never used a public restroom before. I followed the dirty white tiles, waving flies out of my face.

What a weird bathroom. There were no toilets. But there was one sink. No soap or paper towels, though.

Huh. Must be closed for renovations.

I went back outside and stood exactly where Drake had left me. And in about one minute, he was back.

“Wow,” he said with excitement. “I love the culture shock of when you first arrive in these places. It’s so invigorating,” he said, taking a deep breath and looking around.

“Oh, um, yeah. But hey, the bathroom seems to be out of service.”

He frowned. “Really? What do you mean?”

“Well, there are no toilets.”

He looked at me quizzically, scratching his chin. Then realization washed over his face. “Um, Fleur, were there little holes in the ground? Like where a toilet might go?”

I nodded. “Yeah? Was it the same in the men’s room?”

“Yes. Fleur, those are the toilets. You, um, put one foot on either side of the porcelain, and um, well, squat.”

What? How?

That was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard.

“They’re common in developing countries, Fleur. They say they’re actually better for you than sitting on a toilet—”

Whatever. I didn’t need to hear anymore. “I can hold it. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? We may not come across another bathroom for hours.

No. Fucking. Way.

I had no choice. I held my head up and smiled. Which wasn’t easy because I really just wanted to double over and cry. “Oh. Okay. Be right back.”

I returned to the ladies’ room and went into one of the toilet-less stalls. I positioned my feet on either side of the hole, pulled my panties to my knees, and hovered until I’d relieved myself. It wasn’t so bad aside from the dread that I might slip and fall into the hole.

I was tempted to just catch a flight right back home. But then I’d have to make my way through the airport crowd again.

I was past the point of no return.

Toilet or not.

* * *

“C’mon. We need to hurry.”

Drake grabbed my arm, and we hustled as fast as I could in my platform shoes toward the bus, which looked all boarded and ready to go.

“Wait,” I said, stopping before we climbed on, “where’s my stuff? You know, my suitcases?”

Thank god I’d kept my carryon bag with me.

“Jonas and Penn put everything under the bus in storage. We’re good to go.”

He bounded up the steps of the bus and only turned around when he was at the top. “Are you coming?”

I looked down at the front of my shirt, soaked with perspiration, the mosquito bites on my arms that were starting to really itch, and then back at the airport, humming with more bodies than it was designed to hold. But I knew that on the other side of the throng of people lay at least one or two airlines that could take me right back to the United States in the most civilized manner possible.

There would be smiling flight attendants, real toilets, free movies, and best of all, tequila.

I could make a run for it. Screw my luggage under the bus. There was nothing in there I couldn’t live without.

I looked back at Drake, who extended his hand to me while the bus driver gunned the engine as a last warning to move my ass.

I thought of my PhD and why I was doing it. How I would feel when I finally completed all the requirements. How proud my mother and sister would be, sitting in the front row at my graduation, dabbing away their tears.

But the best part would be telling all the doubters to shove it up their ass. That I made it through an archeological dig in a desert in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.

That didn’t even have a shower.

I reached for Drake’s hand and climbed aboard.

* * *