There With You by Samantha Young
Regan
“Freaking wonderful,” I muttered as I looked into the mirror above my bathroom sink. The kids had been reluctant to let me out of their sight, but as we’d sat on the couch waiting for Thane and Lachlan to finish whatever they were doing, I’d felt cramps in my lower stomach.
With everything that had been going on, I’d lost track of the time, but sitting there, I realized what date it was.
Excusing myself to the annex bathroom where I kept my toiletries and stuff, I discovered my suspicions correct.
My period had arrived.
Perfect.
Nothing like holding a frozen bag of peas to your face and a heating pad to your belly as a visual representation of how shitty your day was going.
Walking back into the main house just as Thane and Lachlan did, Thane ran his eyes down my body and back up again, a deep scowl scoring his brows. “Where were you?”
“I needed something,” I said vaguely, not wanting to announce to the room about my period. Then noting both he and Lachlan had changed shirts and Thane’s hair was wet, I frowned, “Where were you?”
His attention moved to where Eilidh and Lewis were curled on the couch, watching a movie with Robyn. When he turned to me, he looked so shattered, I wished I could embrace him. “Expelling some of my anger.”
Fuck it.
I walked over and put my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his chest, and not giving one shit what his brother or my sister thought. To my relief, Thane closed his arms around me.
Tight.
He took a shuddering breath. “Thank you,” he whispered. “What you did today … I can’t ever repay you for that.”
Lifting my head, my heart in my throat and most likely in my eyes, too, I whispered back, “You never have to thank me for that.”
Thane’s gaze dropped to my mouth, and for the first time since the attack, I couldn’t feel the throbbing in my cheek. All I could feel was the promise of his lips on mine.
The doorbell rang, breaking the moment. We both blinked rapidly, guilt flooding me as I remembered where we were. Pushing away from each other, I caught Lachlan’s eyes over Thane’s shoulder and experienced more than a twinge of concern at the suspicion in his expression.
Before anyone could answer the door, it burst open and Arro’s voice carried toward us. “We brought food! Where are my babies?”
“Aunt Arro!” Eilidh and Lewis clambered off the sofa and dashed across the room to meet their aunt as she strode into the room with Mac at her back. She beamed and dropped to her knees to pull them in for a hug, but as soon as they couldn’t see her, her expression filled with anguish. She looked up at Thane as she hugged them, and her brother approached to squeeze her shoulder in reassurance.
“Food,” Mac said, his own countenance grim as he placed bags of takeout on the island. To my shock, my belly rumbled. I didn’t think I’d be able to eat so soon after what happened. Mac’s eyes caught mine and zeroed in on my cheek. “You all right?” He came to me, and before I could answer, he pulled me into his powerful, comforting embrace.
And that was how we got through the next few hours.
The family closed ranks.
They distracted the kids, making them laugh when I didn’t think they could laugh so soon after, and they fed us. I was more grateful for them than I could say, especially when two police officers knocked on the door around an hour after their arrival.
To my gratitude, Thane wanted me with him in his office to speak with them. Lachlan was present too.
“We’re sorry to interrupt your evening after a day like today, Mr. Adair,” the constable who’d introduced herself as PC Diana Kerr said. “We just wanted to update you on the situation with Mr. Sean McClintock, the man who attempted to kidnap your daughter this afternoon.”
Thane nodded impatiently.
The male officer, PC Brian Shanks, had been staring at Lachlan in awe the whole time. Now that I knew him, and because people in Ardnoch were so used to him, I forgot Lachlan was famous. The officer finally dragged his attention away from Lachlan at the silence and found his colleague subtly glaring at him. The officer whipped his head to us, his expression a little sheepish. “Uh … do you know Mr. McClintock?”
I wanted to reach for Thane’s hand. Instead I placed it more subtly on his back to remind him I was there for him. He was tense and hot beneath my touch, but he also leaned into it.
“He was a colleague of my late wife’s.”
The officers nodded and PC Kerr said, “Did you know that Mr. McClintock’s wife and daughter were killed two months ago in a car crash? Mr. McClintock, it seems, was driving the vehicle in question and survived, while his wife and child did not.”
Oh my God. I shared a disbelieving look with Lachlan, and he scrubbed a hand down his face, visibly distraught.
Thane bowed his head and exhaled a curse before replying gruffly, “No, no, I didn’t know.”
That was why he’d shown up at Thane’s work too.
“Mr. McClintock is being detained while the charges are brought against him for attempted kidnapping.”
“What if I don’t want to press charges?” Thane shocked me by asking.
PC Kerr gave him a compassionate but tight smile. “I’m afraid we have enough evidence from witnesses, Mr. Adair, to proceed with charges regardless. If you have concerns, you’re free to contact the procurator fiscal as the case goes forward.”
Thane nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Officers.”
At the door, PC Shanks gave Lachlan a somewhat embarrassed look. “I hope you don’t mind me saying, considering the circumstances, but I’m a big fan of your films.”
Lachlan gave him a tight-lipped smile. “That’s very kind, thank you.”
“I’m sorry for your troubles today.” The officer gave us a sympathetic nod and followed his colleague out to the patrol car.
“I swear, if he asked you for a selfie, I was going to hit him,” Thane growled, his frustration palpable. And we both knew it wasn’t about the starstruck police officer.
I turned to Lachlan. “Can you give us a minute?”
Lachlan studied us, then gave me an abrupt nod before he left us alone.
I took hold of a somewhat dazed Thane’s hand and led him back into his office, closing the door to give us privacy.
“Fuck.” He shrugged in disbelief.
I pulled him into my arms like I’d wanted to all night, pressing kisses to his cheeks, across his bearded jawline, my fingers digging into his shoulders. “It’s okay,” I murmured over and over as his arms banded around me.
He buried his face in my throat with a groan and breathed me in. I sighed at the touch of his lips near my pulse.
We stood like that for a while.
Holding on to each other.
Finally, Thane exhaled a heavy sigh and straightened. Studying my face with those beautiful, soulful eyes, he brushed my hair gently from my cheeks, his thumb tracing the outer edges of where Sean had hit me. When our eyes met, he looked at me with such tenderness, my lips parted in surprise.
Could he … did he feel—
A knock on the office door jolted us apart seconds before Arro stuck her head in. “Food is getting cold and the kids are asking for you.”
Thane nodded, not meeting his sister’s gaze as he pulled the door open. “Right, coming.”
She watched him march away and then turned to me with a frown. “You okay?”
I nodded because there was nothing else to do.
“You need more ice on that cheek.” Arro grabbed my hand to lead me back into the kitchen where she proceeded to mother hen me almost as much as Robyn did.
I didn’t mind. Not in the least.
And I thanked God for all of them as we congregated on the huge sectional after dinner, a movie playing for Eilidh and Lewis while the adults talked about anything but what had happened.
* * *
Everyone left before nine o’clock so we could put Eils and Lew to bed. Robyn and Lachlan were the last to go, and my sister was so reluctant to leave me, Lachlan had to manhandle her out of the house.
The only reason she allowed him to was because of Thane.
“I don’t want you sleeping in that annex alone tonight. You’ll stay with us,” Robyn had commanded.
“She’s staying here,” Thane replied. “In the guest room. I think the kids will appreciate her being close tonight.”
Robyn couldn’t argue with that. She kissed my good cheek, hugged me tight while I ignored the new aches in my upper back and right side, and took Lachlan’s hand as he led her out.
Once everyone had gone, Thane and I ushered the children upstairs to bed, but Eilidh and Lewis grew subdued again. We took turns tucking them in—me with Eilidh first while Thane was with Lewis, and then we swapped.
“And you’ll be just down the hall?” Lewis asked for the second time as I got up to leave.
Bending over, I kissed his forehead and promised him once more I would be.
Meeting Thane outside their rooms, he shook his head and whispered wearily, “I just lied to my children.”
“They asked who he was?” I guessed, wondering when one or both of them would. To be honest, I thought they’d shown immense restraint to not ask again sooner. They’d asked at the school, but I’d avoided answering in all the chaos.
Thane nodded grimly. “I told them he was just a man who had lost his family and was in pain. That the pain made him confused about who Eilidh was.” He looked away.
I cupped his cheek, bringing his focus back to me. “They don’t need to know anything else.”
“What if they do?”
Knowing what he alluded to, I shook my head. “We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.” I pressed onto tiptoes to kiss him lightly and murmured that I needed to retrieve some things from the annex. Five minutes later, I crept upstairs with a small bag of necessities to find him waiting for me.
“I’m going to turn on the alarm.” He brushed his fingers along my stomach as he passed me to go downstairs. I’d never been more grateful for the security system. As it was, I hated I couldn’t sleep in Thane’s arms tonight. I didn’t want to be alone.
But that wasn’t reality, so I entered the guest room at the end of the hall, the easiest room in the house to clean since all it needed was dusting and vacuuming. After brushing my teeth, I changed into my nightie. I was about to turn the bedcovers back when I heard behind me.
“What are you doing?”
The gruff whisper spun me about. Thane scowled at me from the doorway.
“Going to bed,” I whispered.
The man actually rolled his eyes. “Don’t be daft.” He crossed the room and took my hand in his, leading me out.
“What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer. He just dragged me into his room and closed the door. Technically, that was his answer.
“What about the kids?”
Thane removed his borrowed shirt. “I’ll wake you before they wake up.” I opened my mouth to argue as he unzipped his suit pants and he cut me off. “Regan, I need you with me tonight. Please, don’t argue.”
“I have my period,” I told him regretfully.
Thane scowled over his shoulder as he pulled the duvet back on the bed. “It’s not about sex. I just need you close.”
And like that, I melted into a metaphorical pile of goo. He needed me. Hiding my giddy grin, I got into his bed and almost sighed with relief at how comfortable his mattress was.
“I’ll be back in a second,” he murmured before disappearing into his bathroom.
Despite the utter shittiness of the day, snuggling up against Thane’s pillow, inhaling his scent from the sheets, was a fantasy come to life. I was in his bed. Invited.
And then my eyes hit the photo of him and his wife on the nightstand.
Every day I passed the photos on his gallery wall downstairs. They didn’t bother me. They were of Thane’s entire family. And I couldn’t erase his past with Francine without erasing Eilidh and Lewis, and the very thought made me breathless. Besides, even though I had issues with his dead wife cheating on him, I wouldn’t want to erase her. Not just for the kids but for her. Eilidh and Lewis were hers. She lived on in them. And they needed to be surrounded by her memory. I wouldn’t want to take that from her or them ever.
But the photo on his nightstand was different. It wasn’t about Eilidh and Lewis. That was for him.
Even after her betrayal, he obviously adored her. So much so, all these years later, she still slept beside him at night.
Jealousy was an ugly, ugly emotion. Even uglier when you were jealous of a dead woman.
Ashamed, I turned around, tucking my good cheek under my hand and closing my eyes against the reminder that, despite Thane’s need for me tonight, he would never love me like that.
A tear escaped beneath my closed eyes before I could stop it.
“Hey, hey.” Suddenly the mattress depressed, and I opened my eyes to see the blurry vision of Thane getting into bed with me. “I’m here.” He pulled me into his hard, warm body, kissing my tears. “It’s over.”
Realizing he thought I was crying about today was a relief. So I cried harder, clinging to him, hating the voice in my head that urged me in a nasty voice to enjoy his attention while I could.
“You’re killing me,” he groaned, pressing a kiss to my head. “I should have been there.”
More shame flooded me and I shook my head, swiping at the tears. “No, no, don’t do that to yourself. I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s just been a long day. And I get emotional when I have my period.”
His thumb pressed gently under my chin, forcing me to tilt my head to look at him. “By all accounts, you were bloody magnificent today … and I’m so grateful for that, mo leannan. But you should never have been in that position. Even not knowing about Sean’s loss, I should have known by his behavior that day in the car park to be on alert. Even the slightest hint of danger to Eilidh or Lewis … I should have been more cautious.”
“How?” I argued.
“I don’t know. Asked one of Lachlan’s security to shadow you while I investigated Sean myself. Instead of burying my fucking head in the sand and hoping it would just go away.”
Even as I pressed kisses to his chest to soothe him, something niggled at the back of my mind, pushing forward, making my heart beat fast.
Feeling me tense, Thane asked, “Mo leannan?”
“I have to tell you something.” I pushed into a sitting position, forcing myself to meet his gaze.
He frowned warily. “Okay?”
Taking a shuddering breath, I hated I had to explain to Thane what an impulsive moron I’d been, but he was right. Burying my head in the sand, hoping Austin would go away, was selfish and irresponsible. There had been nothing in months, and Robyn said Autry was monitoring him periodically … but he … Thane should know about his existence. Just in case.
In hushed words so I wouldn’t wake Eilidh and Lewis, I told him about the backpacking trip, the group of friends, the impulsive one-night stand, and the harassment that followed.
One time, maybe four or five weeks into the job as Thane’s nanny, he’d asked me why he never saw me on my phone, on social media. “I thought your generation couldn’t exist without it?” he’d teased. I’d given him a vague bullshit answer. Now I told him the truth.
“I had to delete all of my socials. My email. Block my number. When I was living in California, I was like a ghost.” I smirked unhappily. “But I don’t miss talking to people who don’t really care about me. Or checking my follows or likes. And not just because it keeps him out of my life, but because … I don’t need the validation like I did when I was younger.” I have everything I need when I’m with you.
Thane studied me, his eyes bright with concern as I went on to tell him about dating Maddox the asshole, and Austin’s return and his creepy, stealthy stalking at the coffeehouse.
“But since I’ve been here, nothing. Robyn knows, and her cop friend is keeping tabs on him.” I reached for his hand, squeezing, hoping he’d forgive me. “I didn’t say anything because of everything that happened with Lucy and Lachlan. It isn’t on the same level, and so I thought it was stupid to worry you. But I see it was selfish to keep it from you. You need to know about these things for the children’s sake. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, and I sighed with relief as he pulled me into his arms. “It’s fine, it’s okay. At least you didn’t keep it to yourself—you told Robyn. That’s good, Regan. I’m glad. I’m just sorry you had to go through that.”
“You’re not mad at me?”
Thane made a hoarse sound that was half amusement, half pain. “You protected my daughter like she was your own today, mo leannan. You could steal off into the night with all my money and I couldn’t be angry with you.”
God, I loved him so much. He had such a big heart. Caressing his chest where said heart beat a little fast within, I asked, for perhaps the hundredth time, “What does ma le-ow-nin mean?”
He was quiet for a moment as he stroked my upper arm with his fingertips. “Does the meaning matter?”
His question stopped me in my mental tracks.
When he used the endearment I was pretty sure was Gaelic, his voice grew softer, his tone tender.
I smiled at the realization. “No.” I snuggled deeper into him. “It doesn’t matter.”
* * *
THANE
Two hours later, Thane woke up from a light sleep for the fourth time. His heart raced too hard. Regan had rolled out of his arms in her sleep and sprawled on her back, her chest rising and falling gently. Even so, he couldn’t hold back the urge to press his fingers lightly to the pulse at her throat.
Relieved to feel the steady, gentle throb, he slipped out of bed while she slept and checked on Lewis. His boy was asleep, his soft snores music to Thane’s ears. Then he checked on Eilidh. Usually she sprawled much like Regan was right now in his bed. But tonight, as if her subconscious still had her gripped in today’s terror, his little Eilidh-Bug was curled into a protective ball.
Throat thick with too many emotions to name, Thane sat down on the bed and sang softly in her ear. When she was a baby, it was the only thing that would make her sleep. After a while, her little body relaxed and she rolled onto her side, her tiny fingers touching his knee.
He covered her hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it.
Fear unlike anything he’d experienced overwhelmed him.
What if she wasn’t his?
She’s mine, he raged inwardly. No piece of paper could tell him differently. Blood or no, Eilidh Francine Adair was his daughter, and he’d fight to the death for her if it came to it.
A creak near the door drew his head up. Regan stood in the dim light. “Is she okay?” He barely heard her question, it was so quietly asked.
Kissing Eilidh’s hand one last time, he laid it gently down on the bed near her chubby little cheek and stood slowly so as not to wake her.
He pulled her door until it was almost shut and then slid a hand around Regan’s waist. As he led her quietly back to bed, he ignored the feeling of rightness that settled over him.
She wasn’t his wife or Eilidh and Lewis’s stepmum.
She wasn’t permanent, he reminded himself.
And so before he let her drift back to sleep, he rolled her onto her back and kissed her until they were both breathless.
Another memory to keep him warm when she was gone.