There With You by Samantha Young

29

Regan

“Lew, remember your homework,” I said as he and Eilidh made their way toward the front door.

“Got it,” he mumbled.

“Then what’s that on the dining table?” I rounded the island and hurried to pick up his math booklet.

I was just tucking it into his backpack as he waited patiently and Eilidh not so patiently announced she wanted to be at school already because “they were writing letters to Santy Claus today” when the doorbell rang seconds before it opened.

Lachlan stepped into the house.

“Uncle Lach-Lach!” Eilidh lunged at him, and he swung her up into his arms. She wrapped her little arms and mitten-covered hands around his neck. “What are you doing here?”

“Princess Eilidh, I am taking you and your brother to school this morning.”

He was? “You are?”

Lachlan’s azure gaze turned to me. He seemed to study me as he nodded. “Robyn needs a word. I thought I could take the kids before I head to the castle.”

My stomach flipped. I knew what that word was most likely about. Yesterday, I’d asked to speak with her alone, and I’d taken her for a walk on the beach to tell her about Austin’s attack in Vietnam. I tried my best to explain that I wasn’t intentionally keeping it from her, like I’d explained to Thane. I think she understood. Plus, I told her what triggered it, which meant I revealed my affair with Thane, and my sister was not in the least surprised. She said she already suspected, and Lachlan had made a few comments to her that he suspected the same thing. Panicked about him finding out without Thane’s say-so, I made her promise not to confirm it. She was so dazed and angry about Austin, I didn’t even know if she remembered agreeing to it.

I knew she was furious at Austin, but I was also afraid she was hiding how mad she was at me. She said his attack completely changed the profile she had on him. It took his threat level up a couple hundred notches.

Pulse racing, I stared back at Lachlan. “Oh. Okay.”

He nodded and looked at Lewis as he held out his car keys. “Lew, you want to open the Rover and get your sister buckled in?”

Lewis took the keys from his uncle and asked with a weary sigh, “When will she be old enough to buckle herself in?”

Eilidh wriggled out of Lachlan’s hold, her expression mulish. “I’ll buckle myself in now!”

Her brother hurried after her out the door. “You can’t, Eilidh. You won’t do it right!”

“I will too!”

“Will not!”

Their voices grew distant as they ran down onto the drive where I knew Lachlan’s security guys were already waiting to escort the kids to school.

All the while, Lachlan stared at me. I squirmed, knowing by the hard but tender glint in his eyes, much like his brother’s, that Robyn had talked to him. “She told you.”

He gave me a grim nod.

I shrugged, feeling vulnerable. “I’m fine. He didn’t rape me. Other people have had it way worse. Look at Robbie. She’s been shot three times, attacked, and almost murdered by a psycho.”

Lachlan didn’t smile at my nervous facetiousness. Instead, he took a step toward me, his voice low as he replied, “And yet, she handled all that like a pro but cried herself to sleep in my arms last night.”

Emotion choked me, tears flooding my eyes at the thought of my sister’s heart breaking over me. And suddenly, I knew why.

Yesterday, she wasn’t angry with me. She was angry with herself.

Damn it, Robyn!

It was not her job to protect me all the time. I shook my head. “She takes on too much.”

“It’s who she is. It’s why we love her. But—and I know I probably don’t need to ask this—I want you to do your best to convince her she didn’t fail you. Because right now, she’s next door kicking her own arse, and nothing I say seems to penetrate.”

Seeing his concern and frustration for her, I swiftly crossed the room and hugged him.

Lachlan seemed surprised at first, hesitant, and then he wrapped his arms around me and gave me a sweet kiss upon the head.

I smiled and whispered, “Thank you for loving her the way she deserves to be loved.”

His arms tightened just a fraction, and when I pulled away, I saw emotion brighten his eyes.

God, what a gift to be loved by an Adair man. They could be infuriating sometimes, but Lachlan with Robyn and Thane with Francine were proof that when they loved you, they loved you with everything they were.

I’d never been such a confusing mix of gloriously happy for my sister and so envious at the same time.

“I’ll talk to her,” I promised.

“Good.” He brushed my cheek affectionately, like a big brother might, and I decided it was really nice. “I better get the kids to school. You okay?”

I nodded. “I’m going to be fine. I promise.”

That promise didn’t seem to alleviate his concern, but he had to leave and I had to go see my sister.

I didn’t bother knocking. I strode into the house, calling Robyn’s name, and when she came hurrying downstairs, I didn’t let her speak. I rushed her, throwing my arms around her. “Robyn Penhaligon, what happened to me was not your fault. You didn’t fail me, and I won’t ever think that. Ever.”

“I know that,” she murmured, not letting me go.

We swayed a little in each other’s arms at the bottom of the stairs. “Then why did Lachlan tell me you cried last night?”

She stiffened and then sighed into me. “He is such a meddler.”

Grinning, I shook my head. “Well?”

Retreating, Robyn brushed my hair behind my ear. Turmoil roiled in her eyes, turning them a smoky gray. “I was so mad at you,” she whispered, remorse etched into every feature. “That entire time I was angry at you and judging you and feeling like I didn’t know you anymore … and all the time you needed me. You really needed me. And I should have tried harder to track you down. I should have known something wasn’t right.”

“No.” I grabbed her hands, squeezing them, my words fierce. “We will not do this. We will not go around and around about the past two years. We both did the best we could at that time. If we feel now like we can do better going forward, great. But we can’t go back, and I won’t let us self-flagellate over the mistakes. Not when we’re here, right here together, closer than ever, despite it all. It’s pointless, Robbie. It’s not worth it.”

She swiped at a wayward tear, shaking her head, something like awe in her eyes. “When did my little sister get so wise?”

“I learned from my big sister.”

“No, you’re outwisdoming your big sister right now.”

“Outwisdoming?” I teased, pulling her into the kitchen. “Come on, we need coffee.”

“I’ll make it. You sit.” Her tone turned serious again. “I have something I need to tell you.”

My stomach flipped again as I settled on a stool at the island. “Yeah, Lachlan said. Is it about Austin?”

Robyn glanced over as she switched on the coffee machine. “It is.”

“Is it bad?”

“Please don’t be angry with me.”

I tensed. “Okay …”

“I told Seth.”

“Dad?” Horror flooded me. “Why would you tell Dad?”

“Because …” Robyn squeezed her eyes closed. “The day after McClintock attempted to kidnap Eilidh, Seth tried to call you and couldn’t get you because of everything going on. So he called me instead. And he mentioned that a man named Austin Vale came to the house looking for you. Said he was a friend you went backpacking with, and he’d just gotten back to Boston and was looking you up.”

Nausea roiled in my gut.

Robyn’s eyes changed color, golden now with anger. “The fucker lied. Getting antsy waiting for you to come back to Boston. Thankfully, Seth is a paranoid cop and didn’t tell him where you were. But I had to explain to him who Austin is. He and Mom need to know that Austin is a danger to you. Seth said he’s going to look into the guy’s finances to make sure he isn’t in the position to come chasing you across the Atlantic.”

“Dad never mentioned it.” I’d spoken to him several times in the past few weeks. He and Mom were coming to Scotland for the Christmas holidays, courtesy of Lachlan. Dad was having trouble accepting that kind of generosity, but I told him it would be good for them to see how happy Robyn was here.

And our relationship with Mom wasn’t the best. We both still had unresolved issues there. I didn’t want that. I wanted us to move past them. Now all my worries about seeing Mom at Christmas paled compared to the news that Austin hadn’t let go of his obsession.

“His attack on you changes everything. I had to tell Seth, and he’s going to call you today. Be prepared because he’s going to ask you to press formal charges.”

I shook my head, anger and frustration bubbling inside me now. Thane had asked me to do the same thing, and I’d avoided responding. “You of all people know how hard it is to get those charges to stick under normal circumstances. Accusing him of attempted rape in a foreign country a year ago?” I glowered at her. “They’ll laugh at me.”

“No one is going to laugh at you. But Seth is right … if Austin hasn’t let his obsession with you go, then we need this on record. The charges will more than likely be dismissed before it even gets to court due to lack of evidence, but if we can track down Liam and Desi as witnesses, we might have a shot. And even if we can’t and the charges are dismissed, it will be on his record.”

“So that if anything else happens …” I trailed off, shuddering at the thought of anything else happening.

“Nothing is going to. He can’t get to you here. I need you to be brave one more time, Regan, and do this, not for me or your dad, but for yourself.”

Even though the thought made me want to puke, I knew I couldn’t run from it anymore. “Okay.”

Satisfied, Robyn gave me a nod and a look that said she was proud of me, and I had to admit, it felt great to make her proud.

After she made the coffee and slipped onto a stool next to me, she said, “I need you to do one more thing for me.”

“And that would be?”

“I need you to consider talking to someone. Professionally.”

Stiffening at a comment that seemed to come out of left field, I bristled. “You think I need to see a therapist?”

“Don’t say it like that.” She glared. “I went to therapy for months after I got shot.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Well, I did. I couldn’t cope with it all on my own. I had nightmares about killing Eddie Johnstone.”

Eddie Johnstone was the drug dealer who’d shot my sister. She’d fired back in self-defense and killed him.

“It all kind of snowballed. The shooting, my unhappiness with my job, why I became a cop, Mac’s abandonment. Therapy was the reason I came to see my dad in the first place. I realized that I’d never have any sense of closure until I knew why he’d left me. Unfortunately,” she said, heaving a sigh, “that opened up a whole new can of worms with Mom, but she and I are getting there. At least, we were getting there until I realized how much she’d screwed with your head over the years.”

“It’s just mom-and-daughter stuff,” I assured her. “At least she loves us. Other people have it way worse in the parent department.”

“True.” Robyn nudged me with her shoulder. “My point is, therapy helped.”

“And you think I need therapy?” The thought scared me.

As always, my sister read me like a book. “It’s not a shameful thing to need, Regan. And you have a terrible habit of either physically or mentally running away from your emotions. You ran away from me because you couldn’t deal with how frightened you were at the thought of losing me, and you ran away from your own memories of that night in Vietnam because you couldn’t deal with the trauma. And I’m so afraid that you’ll repeat it. Anytime life gets really hard or really sad, you’ll push everyone away and lock your shit down so tight that one day, it will all explode out of you, and the results could be devastating.”

I breathed a little harder because I knew she might be right, though at the same time certain she was wrong. “I won’t run. I didn’t run when McClintock tried to kidnap Eilidh. I’m not running now, even knowing Austin hasn’t backed off like I’d hoped. I’m in love with a man who sees me as something temporary, and it hurts like hell, but I’m not running away.”

Robyn’s expression filled with sympathy as she squeezed my hand. “That’s good. That’s great. I’m proud of you, and I hope that doesn’t come across as condescending.”

“It doesn’t.”

“I still would like you to see someone. I won’t pressure you. You have to make that decision on your own.”

Covering her hand with mine, I nodded. “Then I promise I’ll think about it.”

We fell into silence and sipped our coffees while I pondered the huge conversations that had taken place between us in less than twenty-four hours.

Robyn looked at me. “You’re in love with Thane?”

I grimaced. “I tried not to be.”

She huffed, “Oh, sweetheart, I’ve been there. Those damn Adairs.”

I snorted. “I know, right?”

We shared a commiserating look.