Beauty and the Brit by Poppy St. James

STERLING

At ten to seven on Wednesday night, I take one last glance around my flat. It hasn’t been this spotlessly clean since . . . well, ever, probably. I straightened, dusted, vacuumed, and sanitized for the last hour and a half.

My balcony, which was the whole reason I bought this place, has been transformed. Over the weekend, I picked up a soft blue outdoor rug with tassels on the ends, along with several large throw pillows in navy and cream. They’re scattered about on the rug, and an overturned basket sits in the center—a makeshift table that holds a bottle of wine and two glasses.

The couple of plants I’ve had out here since I moved in were dead, so I replaced those too. Two large pine-tree-shaped shrubs sit in gold pots and are decorated with white twinkle lights. The city lights in the distance and the soft hum of the distant traffic below add character. It’s cozy and quiet up here, but there’s no forgetting we’re in the middle of New York City. It lends a certain ambience that’s one of a kind. I like it.

I didn’t trust myself to make something elaborate, but still, the food smells great. Jumbo shrimp sautéed in butter with angel-hair pasta tossed in olive oil and white wine. It’s simple, yet elegant. I’m hoping she likes it. I never thought to ask if she likes seafood. If she doesn’t, we can always order take out.

Pleased, I head into my bathroom, wanting to wash my hands and change my shirt before she arrives. I toss the T-shirt I was wearing into the laundry basket and check my appearance in the mirror. I have no expectations for tonight, but there’s no denying I’ve put more effort into this non-date than I ever put into a regular date.

After washing my hands, I splash a little cologne onto my jaw, then pull on a light-blue cotton button-down.

Even though I’ve forbidden myself from falling for Camryn, I’m excited to see her tonight. Unhealthy as it may be, I’m becoming attached to seeing her smile, getting a rise out of her, and spending time with her.

Strange as it sounds, I’m coming to look forward to her presence in my life. I didn’t realize it until now, but I’ve been living a lonely existence until she happened into my life. Nights out with bright lights and fast women have been replaced by nights in with one very hard-to-get woman. An interesting turn in events is what it is.

As I check on things in the kitchen one last time, I can’t help but recall Camryn’s phone call asking about my dating history. Rebecca and I dated for eight months last year, if you can even call it that. Our only connection was work. She’s an associate attorney in family law at the firm I work at, and a few nights a week, we got together at her place or mine.

But she wasn’t really a girlfriend. A couple of times a week we’d order takeout while we sat on my couch with our laptops poring over depositions, wasn’t a relationship, wasn’t the companionship I crave deep down. She was just filling the empty space for a time, but that ran its course. She still calls every now and then, but the idea of spending time with her just doesn’t excite me anymore. Maybe it never did.

Ever since my mum got sick and my dad buggered off, I’ve felt more alone than I’d like to let on. I haven’t let anyone get close to me in a long time. Of course I enjoy female company, but that’s not all that my life’s about. I’ve convinced myself true love only exists in fairy tales, but that doesn’t mean I’m immune to female charm. Of course I want a woman in my life.

And what Camryn has to offer is exactly what I’ve been missing. Easy companionship without any of the weird guessing games, intelligent conversation with a woman, someone who keeps me on my toes.

Unsure what to make of that revelation, I’m pulled away from the kitchen by my ringing phone. The number shows that it’s my uncle Charles. I answer it immediately as the overwhelming feeling that something is wrong stirs in my gut.

“Yes?”

“Sterling? It’s Charles.”

“Has something happened?”

“Yes. I’ve been trying to reach you for the last hour and a half.”

I realize I’ve been cleaning and cooking, preparing for my date, and feel a sharp and immediate pang of guilt. “What’s going on?”

“It’s your mum. She suffered a bad episode tonight.”

My intention was to go and visit her earlier when I left work, but traffic had been brutal so I abandoned my trip, opting instead to come home and prepare for tonight.

“What happened? Why didn’t they call me?”

“They tried. I’m next on the list of contacts.”

I look at my phone and realize that I missed a half dozen calls because I was too busy getting ready for my date to be there for my mum.

“Everything is handled. For now.”

A sinking feeling settles low.I was distracted, and wasn’t there when my mum needed me.

“Is she alright?” I ask.

Charles lets out a heavy sigh. “She couldn’t remember where she was. Tried to harm herself.”

My vision blurs and I see red. “What?” I roar. “Is she okay?” Tearing one hand through my hair, I wait in agony for him to answer.

“For now. They had to sedate her, and she’s resting in her room.”

Mum hasn’t had an episode like that in over a year. The doctor’s warnings about her medicine losing its effectiveness over time ring in my head. All the more reason why I need to get her the best care money can buy. But the cost of her medicines alone each month is twice my mortgage. I’ve done the best I can, but it’s time to do better.

Charles releases a deep sigh. “I’m telling you, you’ve got to get her out of that place. You’ve got to get this inheritance. How’s the process coming? You need to be married. There’s no other way.”

“I know, okay? I’m working on it. Camryn’s helping me. She’s been great.”

Charles releases a sharp exhale. “Camyrn.” He repeats her name, but there’s an edge to his voice. “Don’t go falling for the help. She’s a pretty face, but don’t lose focus. Your mum is counting on you, Sterling.”

“I know, all right?” Anger flares inside me, making me resentful that Charles called Camryn a pretty face. She’s so much more than that.

The sinking feeling in my chest balloons, and I force a breath into my lungs. “I can be there in forty minutes. Forty-five, tops.”

“There’s no need, Sterling. She’s sleeping now. She’ll sleep through the night with the dosage they gave her. Why don’t you just go over in the morning?”

“Okay.” I hang up, fighting the urge to punch something.

There’s no playbook for how to handle it when your loved one’s health begins to fade. I’m losing her piece by piece, and I absolutely hate it.

I wander out onto the balcony where the romantic scene seems to mock me. Looking out onto the maze of streets below, I know I shouldn’t be here about to wine and dine a woman like Camryn. I should be with my mum, who needs me. I should stick to the plan and do everything in my power to make sure I get that inheritance check, just like my uncle said.

It’s time to grow up and stop believing in silly fantasies that won’t get me anywhere.