Forbidden Hunger by R.L. Kenderson

Thirty-One

Siya helped loadthe last of the girls into the van. Even though she was a human, Vance and Damien, who had shown up after Monica was killed, had asked her to assess the victims to see if any of them needed to go to the infirmary.

She told them they should all be looked over by a doctor, but some were worse than others. Almost all of them needed food and water, but some of them had bruises and injuries. And those were only the ones that were visible. She hoped that shifters believed in therapy because these young women were going to need it.

The sun would be up soon, and she was exhausted, but she was so grateful that she could be of some help. There wasn’t anything else that needed to be done that night, so it was time to get out of there.

Saxon wrapped his arm around Demi. “I’m taking my mate home by ourselves. No one needs to hear me yell at her for putting herself in danger the way she did.”

He sounded upset, but Demi rolled her eyes, and Siya would bet fifty dollars that Saxon’s “punishment” would be sex, which was why Demi wasn’t scared.

“That’s fine,” Tegan said. “I’ll take Ram and Siya home.”

Saxon narrowed his eyes. “Don’t think you’re getting away with acting like you didn’t do anything. You brought them here.”

Tegan shrugged. “I tagged along. They were coming with or without me. The way I see it, you owe me.”

Saxon snorted but turned to walk away, taking Demi with him.

Siya, Tegan, and Ram went to her vehicle, and Siya immediately went for the backseat and lay down. “Wake me up when we get there.”

Tegan laughed, but Ram was silent. “That’s not fair that you get to sleep,” she said.

“I need it more than you,” Siya said.

Also, she needed to pack and drive home once they got back to the bunkhouse. She couldn’t wait to sleep in her own bed again.

* * *

Once they got to the bunkhouse, Siya smiled as she watched Reid grab Tegan, pulling her into his arms. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I love you, too,” she told him.

“Vance wants to have a briefing tonight at sundown,” he said, not letting go of his mate.

Ram nodded and headed in the direction of his room with Siya following him, but he went past and into the bathroom without a word.

It was strange. She had felt Ram so strongly last night, but now, she wasn’t getting anything from him. She couldn’t even read his body language very well. She wasn’t sure if he was irritated, tired, or bored.

Either way, it wasn’t her problem any longer. She was free and didn’t need a babysitter anymore.

Walking into his bedroom, she scanned the area and was surprised by how many things she had lying around. Her laptop was still out, and she laughed at her attempt to find Monica herself. She hadn’t found anything. Meanwhile, a teenager had found Siya’s phone number and led her to Monica herself. It was amazing what kids could do.

She packed her bag and took it out to her car before coming back in to say good-bye to Demi and to thank Ram. She stopped at Demi and Saxon’s door on her way back to Ram’s room and knocked.

Ram came out of the bathroom, smelling freshly showered, and said, “They’re not home yet.”

“But they left before us.”

“They probably made another stop.” Ram went into his room.

“Oh.” She was disappointed, but it wasn’t like she was never going to see her best friend again. She had enjoyed seeing Demi every day there for a while, but she would text her friend and make plans to get together soon.

She went into Ram’s room to see him with his back to her. He was simply standing there, but she assumed he was tired.

“Hey, I wanted to thank you for putting up with me. I hope I didn’t put you out too much.”

Ram slowly turned on his heel to face her. “Where did all your stuff go?”

She smiled. “I packed it while you were in the bathroom.” She waved her hands in the air. “I’m super fast.”

Ram didn’t smile. “Why?”

“Why? Because I need to get home. Monica is dead, her brother is with the wolves, and my life is no longer in danger.” She stepped forward and almost reached for him but stopped herself at the last second. “I had fun here with you even if I did feel kind of like a prisoner at times.”

Still no smile from him.

She knew her jokes weren’t great, but she’d expected something from him. Maybe a little sadness that she was leaving rather than the stiff stranger in front of her.

“Okay, well, I guess it’s good-bye then.” She turned to leave.

“What the fuck, Siya? Can’t you tell I am suffering here?”

She turned back to Ram. “Uh, no. I can’t tell anything. You seem more bored than suffering. I don’t even understand what you’re suffering from. Did you get hurt? Do you need me to get somebody for you?”

His brow furrowed, and he took a step back. “Can you not sense how I feel?”

She chuckled. “Oh, no, I can’t.”

“When did it stop?”

She lifted a shoulder. “I definitely sensed you when you came up behind Monica. But by the time we left this morning, things were back to normal. I have no idea when that happened.” She snapped her fingers. “But it has been twenty-four hours since I tasted some of your blood. Maybe it only lasts that long.”

Ram walked over to his bed and sank down onto it. He ran his hand through his hair. “I was not expecting this. I didn’t think I was going to have to say anything because I thought you already knew.”

“Sorry, I guess you have to communicate the old-fashioned way.”

“You mean, the way I’m not good at.”

Siya smiled sympathetically. “You’ll only get better, the more you do it.” She sat next to him. “Hit me with it.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

Okay. Wow. “I wasn’t expecting that. Why do you not want me to leave?”

“When I figured out you were in trouble, I literally felt sick. I threw up, remember?”

“But you said that was because of me.”

Ram picked up her hand. “You and because I was so worried about you.”

“Oh, Ram, that’s so sweet.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Sweet? Siya, I’m trying to tell you I have feelings for you.”

A giggle escaped her, so she slammed her free hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry.”

This only upset Ram more. “I’m being serious. Why do you think this is funny?”

She knew herself well enough to know that part of it was a defense mechanism. If she thought the whole thing was a joke, she wouldn’t get her hopes up.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t laugh. It’s just that I don’t think you know how you feel about me. When we first met, you made all this talk about us fucking and yada, yada. But the moment I tried to kiss you, you pushed me away and brought another girl to your room.

“And this week, you’re hot, and you’re cold. You have sex with me, but then you act like you don’t want to be around me. I’ll be honest with you. I really like you, too. But I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me and someone who is okay with wanting to be with me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m human or what, but I won’t be happy if I’m always wondering if today is the day that you leave me.

“Also, I know you have to drink blood. I know your life depends on it. But the thought of you sharing blood with another woman every month or however long is not something that sits well with me. Could you imagine if I drank from another man?”

Ram’s eyes filled with anger, and his nostrils flared.

Whoa. She had asked the question rhetorically. She hadn’t expected a response like that out of him.

“You’re right. I’d be pissed,” Ram spit out. He paused, took a breath, and continued, “I fucked up.”

“How so?” She was almost afraid to ask.

“I never meant to make you feel rejected.”

“That’s sounds like a backhanded apology. I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.”

“What I mean is, I wasn’t rejecting you. Ever. That night, months ago, when we almost kissed, I needed to feed. Very badly. And I was so hot for you that I was afraid I would hurt you. Obviously, I can’t keep my fangs out of you when we have sex. And that’s when I’ve actually fed recently. And when you pointed out that I was cold, it was because I needed to feed again. I’d been outside with you, and it drained my energy faster than I had expected it to.”

She bit her lip, so she didn’t say anything. She liked what she was hearing, but she was still afraid to feel hope about a future with Ram.

“As a vampire, feeding is feeding, and Bianca is a childhood friend. I never really thought about it being anything other than blood. Until you brought up feeding from another male. I can see how that would have pissed you off.”

More like hurt, but he got the point.

“But I want to be with you, Siya. I’ve wanted to be with you since I met you. I’ve never not wanted to be with you. And I want to prove it to you.”

“How are you going to do that?”

Ram lifted his hand to his mouth, gently bit down, and then pushed his thumb into her mouth so fast that she almost hadn’t been ready.

The sweet taste of his blood exploded in her mouth, and she moaned. The area between her legs grew wet, and she looked up into his eyes.

He pushed his forehead to hers. “Please don’t think about sex. I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”

A tingling started behind her eyes and traveled out through her body. She could feel how much Ram felt for her and how much he wanted to be with her. She could also feel how aroused he was and that he was in pain, holding himself back.

She slowly pulled his hand away from her mouth. “You really do like me.”

He smiled and licked his wound closed. “I told you I did.”

She really wanted to give the two of them a try. So, so much.

“You can drink my blood daily so that you know every minute of every day how much I want you.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know if I want that. You’ve got a lot going on up in that head of yours.”

He chuckled and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “I know something’s holding you back.”

“What about feeding? Is there any other way?”

He grinned. “I have that already figured out.”

She blinked. “Really? That fast?”

He nodded, turned away from her, and yelled, “Saxon? Demi?”

“I thought they weren’t home?”

“They got back a few minutes ago.”

“Hmm.” She would never get used to how unfair it was to have regular human hearing.

The door swung open, and Saxon pushed his way through with Demi behind him. “What’s up? We’re busy.”

Demi’s and Saxon’s hair were both messy and full of…twigs and leaves?

“Your playtime can wait,” Ram said. “This is important.”

“What’s going on?” Demi asked in a much happier tone.

“I want Siya to be my mate, but I need to stop drinking from females. I would like your permission, Saxon—and your mate’s—for you to be my sole source of blood.”

Her jaw dropped to the floor. This was unexpected. The mate talk—she thought he meant dating—and the feeding from Saxon … that was something she had not seen coming.

Demi nodded. “I give my consent. One hundred percent.”

Saxon gave his mate a look. “It’s my blood.”

She shrugged. “What did you say to me outside? Something like, ‘Your body is my body, Demi. When you put yourself in danger, you put me in danger.’ ”

Demi had dropped her voice to sound like Saxon’s, and Siya had never had to hold back a laugh so hard.

“So, if my body is your body, dear mate, then your body is my body.” She grinned at him. “And I say, Ram can drink your blood so that Siya can stay here with us, and all of us will live happily ever after.”

Saxon threw his hand out. “Maybe you should mate with Siya and just cut out us middlemen?”

Siya couldn’t hold back anymore, and a laugh burst out of her.

After narrowing his eyes at her in what she thought of as playful for Saxon, he shifted his eyes to Ram and said, “Yes, you can drink my blood. But only from my wrist or forearm.”

Demi put her hand on his chest. “Oh, Saxon, you’re not homophobic, are you?”

“Fuck no. I’m afraid you two females will like it too damn much if he drinks from me in any other way.”

Demi dropped her head to him. “You’re a good man.”

“No, I’m not.”

She grabbed her mate’s hand and led him out of Ram’s room. “Yes, you are.”

As soon as they were gone, she asked Ram, “Are you really okay with feeding from Saxon?”

“Yes. I don’t care about that. I wish it could be you, but he’ll do. Plus, there is a place vampires can go to feed. If I ever need to do that, I will take you along, so you can be with me the entire time.”

“I’d like that.”

“So, is that a yes?”

“Oh, um, I’m not sure about the mate thing. In human terms, we refer to that as rushing things.”

He seemed to think about it. “Okay. I understand. But I still don’t want you to leave. We don’t have to be mates for you to stay here. Not at first anyway.”

She smiled. “I’ll stay…for now. But one cold shoulder, and I’m out of here,” she teased.

Ram pulled her into his arms and onto his lap. “Deal.” He nuzzled her neck. “I give you three months, and you’ll be all mine.”

“I’m betting six months. At least.”

He kissed her. “I can’t wait to see who wins.”