Tell Me You Want Me by Willow Winters

Suzette

Iknock softly at Adrian’s door and go in. It’s the latest I’ve ever visited him, but he’s been busy all day and evening. As it stands I’ve barely seen him the last two days, and when I do, he’s reserved with me and soft in a way he hasn’t been before. I nearly left, thinking maybe he just needed space and wasn’t telling me, but I thought better of it.

I messaged: I have work I can do too, do you mind if I stop by later tonight?

His response told me everything I needed to know: I’d love it if you did.

So with all these nerves still wreaking havoc inside of me, and the realization that I’m head over heels for a man and I think he may be head over heels for me too, I crack open the door to his office.

“Adrian,” I call out, saying his name as if to gauge whether or not he’s done even though he told me if I came up at nine he should be finished.

Sitting at his desk, Adrian runs his hands over his hair. “Suzette,” he responds, my name a murmur on his lips. His stress is apparent even from the door.

“Come have a drink with me,” he offers and I instantly relax.

I go around his desk and fold my arms around him from behind, resting my chin on his shoulder. He leans into me for a kiss on the cheek and I feel like I could burst with all the things that threaten to spill out of me. There are so many things that I can’t decide what to say first. That I love him? That I’m in love with him? It feels almost childish, raw and vulnerable. It doesn’t escape me that I’m insecure and he hasn’t given me a reason not to be. I’m holding back and he hasn’t as far as I know. This is the part of the relationship where it doesn’t feel even.

He may be my boss, the devil in a suit, rich and powerful and I’m lowly compared to him on the surface of it all, but I’ve never felt inferior. Not until now. Not until I’ve realized how I feel and that I’m terrified to admit it, just in case he doesn’t feel the same.

Adrian turns his face to mine and stands up, pushing his chair out of the way before I can speak. I can taste alcohol on him. He’s been drinking, no doubt to get rid of the stresses of the day, though it’s a good stress. At least I thought it was. The numbers are good and I’m excited for our meeting next week. I’m not sure what all it will entail but I already have a business plan laid out. It’ll be wonderful, I can reassure him of that.

“I need you,” he whispers against the crook of my neck and the warmth of his breath forces my head to fall back and desire spreads through me like wildfire.

He’s almost frantic at my clothes, pushing my skirt up and lifting me onto the desk. A gasp leaves me and it’s all too welcomed. Maybe he needs this as much as I do. Adrian strips off my panties with an efficient movement as he looks me in the eyes, his emotions running through them too fast for me to name them all. He undoes his belt and zipper and pushes into me with the same ferocity he used that first day. He’s not shy about putting his hands on my body wherever he wants them. He touches me everywhere he can reach, with a firm grip on my thighs and my hips. Adrian fucks me in the way I love him to, with possessive strokes. Pleasure pools between my legs at how close he is and how intimate it is to be used like this.

My nails dig into his shoulder as I moan his name. His thrusts are merciless and the pleasure builds and builds without warning.

We’re in danger of knocking things off the desk now and it’s so hot to see him unraveling like this.

All too soon, I come first and then he follows. It’s only when he leaves me, both of us still catching our breath that I realize he’s fully clothed.

“Would you want me still if I couldn’t afford it?” His question came out of nowhere.

“What?” My head is cloudy with lust and my legs still tremble as I try to gather what he’s said. “Afford what?”

“To support the split. To fund the company during the changes.”

I pull back so I can look into his eyes, following his movements as he undoes his tie and then reaches into his desk for tissues, no doubt to clean up. I’m surprised that he’s talking business after six, let alone the second he finished inside of me. Of all the things I want to respond, I want to tease him about it, to lighten it and allay any worries he has.

Before any words can leave me, his gaze pins me. It’s one of a wounded man. The same vulnerability that plagued me all day stares back at me.

“I couldn’t give two shits if you have money. I don’t care.” The last couple of days play through my mind. “Is that what’s been bothering you?” I ask. “Is it because of my department? I mean it, Adrian.” I lick my lips, rushing my words out and praying he understands just how much I mean it. “If you don’t want to save the department, if it has to go … I would still want you.”

His pace has slowed, but it’s as if he can’t bring himself to end this conversation. Adrian looks down and I swallow hard.

“Adrian. I swear to you. If you need to tell me something, it’s okay.” Reaching for the box of tissues and taking it from him, I attempt to convince him. “If you need to tell me something, you can.” There’s an ache that starts in my chest, but it works its way outward. “I’ll still want you.”

His pale blue eyes come back to mine again. “Suzette.”

“Jobs come and go.” I get a lump in my throat from unshed tears and my love for him. How did this even happen? I’ve never wanted to cover myself more, but I’m on his desk and my clothes are on the floor. “Just like clients. I love my job. I love what I do, and I believe in it. But if something were to happen …” Feeling his eyes on my naked body like this makes me even more emotional. Adrian is so connected to this job for me. I met him here, even though he came to change everything. I don’t know whether I’m just clinging to those memories or if I’m genuinely afraid to lose my job. “If funding fell through …” He doesn’t react at all, other than to pull my hips to the edge of the desk and rest his forehead against mine. “If it all fell to shit and was taken away …”

“Hush.”

I do hush, because I can tell what he wants right now is to lose ourselves in the pleasure of this moment.

“I need you again,” he whispers and I’m shocked as he pushes me back. Still hard, still demanding and as rough as he was earlier.

“I want you and I’ll always want you,” he tells me between thrusts, his voice thick with emotion. My lips crash against his and a wave of emotion spreads through me.

I want to tell him, “That’s all that matters.” But words fail me and strangled moans are all I can offer him.

He groans, “I need more of you.”

I spread my legs wide for him and brace my hands on the desk so he can fuck me as hard as he likes. “Come for me,” he whispers in my ear, and heat explodes between my thighs in clenching pulses that make him groan and pulse. When he’s finished he pulls me off the desk and into his desk chair. I’m straddling him now, his hands on my waist, and I try to catch my breath so I can continue our conversation.

Even if he doesn’t want to. Even if it means being too open, too raw, too needy. I just need him to know exactly how I feel.

“Listen to me.” I take his hand and put it to my chest. “I would survive. I could start my company from scratch. I might not be able to keep the clients, but I would find more. I don’t want you because you can support me, if that’s what you’re worried about. I want you for you. God knows I hated the idea of you when I first saw you but I—” I swallow, and chicken out, backing away from the truth I’m too scared to voice. “I want you.” It’s all that I can say.

It’s true. If I learned one thing from my divorce, it’s that I’ll always be able to find a way to support myself. I might worry about it but if the occasion arises, I’ll handle it. That’s what it means to be a woman in the world. You always have to be able to find a way.

I put both my hands on the sides of his face. “Are you all right?”

He strokes my cheek. “It was only a question. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“If I should worry, you would tell me, wouldn’t you?”

He looks deep into my eyes and pulls me in for another kiss. This one is deep and slow and it’s like he wants to memorize every part of me. “You don’t have to worry,” Adrian whispers against my lips. “I want you.”

“I want you too.” I pull his lip between my teeth and add a little pressure so he can feel it. His deep groan is everything I needed to hear.

Adrian’s already hard beneath me again, so it takes nothing to lift myself up and ease back down on his thick length. It’s a sweeter connection this time, though he’s just as possessive with me. I lean down and kiss him while we move together. Adrian can’t help but take control, making his thrusts deeper and harder, and it feels so good that it brings on another orgasm. It moves through my body and makes me tip my head back with the kind of ecstasy I’ve been looking for all this time for so long. I never thought I’d find it again and I found it here in Adrian. Here in this most forbidden of arrangements.

When it’s over I open my eyes and look into his. He’s watching me with heat in his expression and love too. “I love you,” I tell him.

He groans and pulls me down onto his cock, fucking me as deep as he ever has. He holds on tightly, as if he never wants to let me go, but he doesn’t say it back.