Impassioned by Darcy Burke
Chapter 22
Sabrina almost didn’t recognize the wild-eyed gentleman who’d burst into her chamber. Constantine looked like some sort of beast, his teeth bared, his hands fisted at his sides as if he were going to launch himself at Dr. Montbourne and pummel him to bits.
“Er, good evening, Lord Aldington. I am Dr. Xavier Montbourne.” Holding out his hand with an engaging smile, he stepped toward Constantine.
Glaring at the physician, Constantine moved around him and put himself between the man and Sabrina. “Get out.”
“Constantine, stop. Please.” Sabrina reached for his hand, but he jerked away from her.
“I said get out. Now.” He advanced on the physician with a terrifying menace.
Sabrina jumped up from the bed and inserted herself in front of Dr. Montbourne. “Stop this nonsense right now. Dr. Montbourne was just leaving anyway. Even so, there’s no call to be rude.”
“Why is he here? What did he do to you?” The bleak distress in his gaze at last prompted her understanding. Finding her with a doctor would be upsetting to him.
Sabrina moved closer and took his hand again, squeezing it tightly so he wouldn’t let her go. This time, he did not. “Dr. Montbourne merely performed a simple examination. I experienced a few odd pains earlier, and I was hoping he would allay my concerns.”
Constantine had watched her as she spoke, but now he sent a suspicious glance toward the physician. “What sort of pains?”
“The sort that normally accompany a woman who is likely with child. I’m fine. Dr. Montbourne is lovely. And since he will return at a later time to check my progress, you should apologize.”
He stared at her, frozen for a long moment, so she squeezed his hand again and whispered his name. At last, he blinked and turned to face Dr. Montbourne.
“I apologize for my outburst. I require documentation of your education, your age, and how long you have practiced in your profession, and a list of no fewer than five—no, ten—references who can attest to your knowledge and expertise. References with medical backgrounds, from the Royal College and the like, not your neighbor or your mother.”
He sounded so very cross but also concerned, and Sabrina wanted to ease all of his pain.
Dr. Montbourne inclined his head. “I would be pleased to provide this information, my lord.”
“At the earliest opportunity,” Constantine practically growled.
Sabrina let go of Constantine’s hand. “I’ll see you out, Dr. Montbourne.” She led him from her bedchamber into the sitting room where Charity stood, her eyes wide.
“You may go, Charity,” she said with a smile before turning to Dr. Montbourne.
“Please accept my deepest apologies for my husband’s behavior. He lost his mother due to the care of an inept surgeon, and I’m afraid he has a grave distrust for medical practitioners.”
“That is understandable. I shall do my best to alleviate his concerns.” He took her hand and bowed. “Take good care, my lady. I’ll see you soon.”
“Thank you, Dr. Montbourne.” She watched him depart the sitting room, then turned to see her husband standing in the doorway wearing an extremely disgruntled expression.
“You shouldn’t tell him my personal history. It’s none of his business.”
Sabrina longed to smooth the worry from his forehead and from his very soul. “Why not, if it helps him understand his patients—you and me—better.”
Constantine grunted. “He is not my physician. Nor is he yours yet.”
She took a step toward him. “My dear Constantine, you must be willing to share things, to open up about your emotions—your fears and desires—if you want to get on in this life. I have only recently learned this lesson myself.”
He ran his hand through his hair, exhaling. “That’s why I’m here, actually.” He started forward but stopped a few feet away, his gaze dropping to her belly. “Is it really true? That you’re with child?”
She nodded, tears pricking the backs of her eyes and clogging her throat. “It seems so. My courses are extremely regular, and they are quite late. When I described my symptoms to Dr. Montbourne, he did a brief examination, and he believes that I am carrying. We will know for certain, of course, in the coming weeks.” Was he happy? Shocked? Terrified?
“I can hardly believe it,” he whispered. “What if something goes wrong?” His gaze lifted to hers, and she realized he was terrified.
“We will face it together,” she said. “I hope so anyway.”
He blinked, his features opening as if he’d just remembered something vitally important. “Yes, together. I don’t want to do anything without you. I thought I could go back to the way things were, that I preferred that—I think I even convinced myself that you wanted that too. But you came here looking for a change, determined to be someone different.” He shook his head, a faint smile teasing his lips. “Not someone different, but you.”
How had he come to understand her so perfectly? “Exactly. I’ve been who everyone wanted or expected me to be.”
“Including me. I assumed you loathed me because you didn’t want to marry me. I didn’t give you a chance. I didn’t give us a chance.”
“And I assumed you would be autocratic and cold like your father.”
“Haven’t I been?” Constantine arched a sandy brow, and the effect of his self-deprecation and sly humor was devastating.
Sabrina rushed forward and clasped his hand between hers. “Yes, but that’s not who you are.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t know who I was until you came to London to save me from myself. I know that was not your intent—you wanted a child—but that’s what happened.”
“Yes, I wanted a child, but I wanted you too.”
He narrowed one eye at her. “I think it’s important that we’re completely honest with each other, that there are no more assumptions or half-truths or misunderstandings.”
Heat rose up Sabrina’s neck. “All right, perhaps at first I was fixated on a child. But as soon as I learned about the pleasurable side of marriage, I wanted that. With you. Wanting you came very quickly—and easily. Even that first night when things were still so awkward between us, I wanted you. I just didn’t know how to show it, and I was too afraid to say it.”
He took his hand from hers and cupped her face, holding her as he stared into her eyes. “Promise you’ll never be afraid of me again. I would never hurt you. I love you completely.”
His words lit a brightness inside her that would never be diminished. For as long as she lived, she would remember this moment, this man, and this outpouring she’d never imagined to see from him. The tears she’d held back spilled forth, trailing down her cheeks and onto his hands.
“My love,” he whispered before gently moving his lips over hers. “I wanted you even before we were wed. I was hurt when I learned you didn’t want to marry me, but I think I always hoped we would find a connection. If only I’d told you so—”
“Shh. Don’t look back.” Sabrina clutched at his lapels and held him to her. “I love you too,” she said, but she feared the words were lost against his mouth. She pulled away to look into his eyes. “I love you, Constantine.”
His hands stroked down her neck and rested on her shoulders. “You came here to change, and in doing so, you changed me.”
“I prefer to think we both discovered our truths—about ourselves and each other.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry it took an ill-conceived stratagem. If I could go back and change that, I would.”
“It was ill-conceived, and yet we really can’t complain about the results. I was desperate to do anything for you.” His voice broke, and Sabrina’s heart twisted.
She squeezed him tightly. “I treasured every moment of those encounters when you bared yourself to me in ways I don’t think you realized. That’s when I started to fall in love with you. Then you courted me, and I fell completely.”
“You’re right in that seeing the tutor helped me become myself, to strip away the artifice of being my father’s son.”
“Pretending to be a former courtesan allowed me to lose my inhibitions, to become your wife, not just your countess.”
He laughed softly. “I suppose we should be thankful for the ruse after all. And to Lucien and Mrs. Renshaw for their meddling.”
“Perhaps, but in the interest of speaking honestly, I must say I prefer to give the credit to us. You’re the one who made me feel desirable, and ultimately that gave me the courage I needed.”
“You are infinitely desirable.” Constantine lowered his head and kissed her jaw, then her neck. “Perhaps you’d like me to demonstrate how much?” His lips and tongue elicited a shiver as need gathered inside her.
She moved one hand to the back of his neck, urging him to continue with his mouth. “May I make a request?”
“Anything,” he whispered against her neck. “Make every request. I want to hear everything you are thinking from now on, no matter what.”
“Everything? Well, then, I want you to blindfold me. I imagined that must have heightened your senses when I was the tutor, and I wanted to know what that felt like.”
“Would you like me to be your tutor?” he asked huskily, provoking a flash of lust so hot and bright that Sabrina quivered in his arms.
“Yes, please. Tell me exactly what you want me to do.”
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “Just love me.”
“That’s easy because I already do.” She narrowed her eyes at him and tugged his hair. “You’re going to have to be naughtier than that.”
He swept her into his arms with a growl and strode to the bed, depositing her carefully onto the mattress. After removing his boots, coat, and waistcoat, he returned to her as he stripped his cravat away. “Ready?”
She nodded, eager for this night and all the nights to come.
He paused, his eyes glistening as he looked at her. “I love you, Sabrina, with all of my cold, black heart.”
She cupped his face and kissed him hard and fast. “Your heart is not cold, nor is it black. It is warm and kind and full of love. And it is mine.”