Burning Desire by Marie Harte

Chapter Eight

Tex sat glumly with Bubbles and the guys at his house Wednesday night, drinking beer and listening to some terrible alt-rock crap Mack insisted outsold Brad Paisley any day of the week. He’d held them off with the truth of his disastrous Sunday night with Bree. But after three days of arctic silence with the chick, he knew he needed help.

They sat around his dining table, the cards and chips out for a night of beer and poker while he tried to figure out how to fix things with Bree. He only had another week of being paired with her, and he knew if he didn’t set things right before they parted, she’d end up never talking to him again.

“Hold on.” Brad grinned as he petted an enthusiastic Bubbles, who’d taken to his friends as if they’d always been one big, old pack. “You had her on the ropes, the mood was set.”

“You’d been honest,” Reggie added. “Talking things out.”

Tex nodded. “I was trying to do right by her.”

Mack’s brows shot up. “By telling her to really think about what she wanted, because once she had a taste of Tex’s testicles, she’d fall in love and be ruined for all other men?”

Tex flushed when they laughed at him. “Fuck off. It wasn’t like that.” He paused. “I mean, I did warn her she’d fall for me. They all do.”

More laughter, which had the damn dog baying. Huh. First time she’d ever done that.

“I just wanted her to be ready in case we hook up and it fails.”

Reggie scratched his head. “That’s kind of like proposing by saying, ‘I want you to marry me, and here’s the prenup for when it falls apart.’”

Mack hooted.

Tex groaned. “Honesty gets you shit.”

Brad set his beer down to shuffle the cards. “Tex, you are so much better than that. What happened to you?”

He wished he could say. It was like his balls had fried the circuitry in his brain. Kissing Bree had been better than he’d expected, and he’d been expecting some explosive chemistry. He’d been close to shooting his wad just from her sitting on his lap. He wanted her with every breath, heartbeat, and blink of her pretty eyes. And that scared the crap out of him.

Once with Bree wouldn’t be enough. He knew it. He wanted her to know it too before she committed to sleeping with him.

“Hell. I should have just slept with her. She’d be hooked on me, and I’d be a happy man now instead of hanging with you pricks.”

“Real nice.” Reggie glared at him. “Hey, it’s not our fault you stepped on your own dick.”

“I know, damn it.” Tex dropped his head to the table.

Mack snickered. “I never thought I’d live to see the day that Tex couldn’t make the magic happen. My world is so much brighter now.”

“Well, Tex, if it makes you feel any better, we miss you at the station,” Brad said. “The new guy we’ve been training has no sense of humor.”

“Truth.” Reggie sighed. “And he’s a kiss-ass.”

Tex lifted his head. “You’re miserable without me? That helps.”

Bubbles left Brad to nuzzle Tex’s hand. He stroked her. “Hey, girl. At least you love me.”

“She’s so cute.” Mack left his seat to pet her. “But how can you keep her?” He gave her a final pat and sat back down.

“I can’t.” Tex felt a bellyful of regret. “She needs a yard and kids. People around her a lot.” He frowned. “You know, I wonder if my family would take her.”

“You don’t think she’ll get adopted here?” Reggie huffed. “Tex, there are like four million people in Seattle. Someone will take her. She’s a sweetie. Aren’t you, Bubbles?”

Bubbles grinned, her tongue hanging out, and barked.

The guys laughed.

“Yeah, but how will we know she’s in a good home?” Tex worried. “My family’s got a ranch.”

“In Houston,” Brad said. “That’s kind of far, you know.”

“I’ll think of something.” Tex hated to let Bubbles get adopted by someone who’d ignore her. Dogs were special. Hell, he preferred them to people a lot of the time. Maybe he’d call down to the family and see if one of them could make a road trip. Wyatt was nutty like that. Maybe he’d take some time to drive up in his RV and take Bubbles back home.

“So one lady who likes you.” Reggie rubbed Bubbles’s ears. The dog was in heaven. “And then there’s another lady who wouldn’t bat an eye if you disappeared off the face of the planet.”

“Thanks, man.” Tex glared.

Brad dealt the cards. “You ask me—”

“I didn’t.”

“—you need to up your game. Bring her flowers. Grovel a little. Women love that.”

“You’d know,” Mack muttered.

Brad glared at him and finished dealing. “Just be sincere without all that beating your chest crap.”

“I tried. I really like her. I don’t want her to hate me.” When it’s over. Because it’s always over. Tex wanted so badly to have a lasting relationship like his parents. Like his eldest brothers. But he’d been dating for over ten years, and nothing stuck. It freaked him out. McGoverns weren’t supposed to divorce. So, when he felt a relationship wasn’t going anywhere, he ended it, and better sooner than later. He’d never once experienced that spark with another like his parents talked about.

Well, not counting Bree. But with her, that spark felt more like buried frustration. God knew they had sexual chemistry. A fuck-ton, as he’d said to her. But that kind tended to fizzle out fast, and he wanted to savor his time with Bree.

Maybe he should just let her have a taste of him and see for herself that he’d been telling her the truth. He was plumb amazing.

“Hey, Tex, how many can you take?”

“Huh?” He looked down at the cards he’d been dealt. “I thought we were playing Texas Hold’em.”

“Nah, Spades,” Mack said. “Weren’t you listening?”

“Fine.” He preferred Spades, having played plenty in the Marine Corps. “Me and Brad versus you two.”

“Again? You guys always pair up.” Reggie frowned.

Both Marines, Brad and Tex generally whipped the others. Reggie wasn’t too bad, but Mack sucked. And he knew it.

“Stakes?” Tex asked.

“Losing team has to wash the winners’ cars,” Brad said.

“That’s not fair. Mine is spotless.” Mack scowled.

“Maybe if you got a girl and spent less time in that car, this could be a win for you too.” Tex frowned at his buddy. “Dude, you need a girlfriend. Seriously.”

“Shut up. Seems to me all you guys with girls have girl problems.”

“Amen.” Reggie nodded.

Tex scoffed. “Yeah, the anti-dater backin’ you up really strengthens your argument.”

Reggie didn’t look too pleased with him or Brad when he laughed.

“Fine.” Mack shrugged. “But loser also has to bring in a baker’s dozen from Sofa’s. Mix and match on the treats.”

“That sounds fair.” Brad nodded. “I mean, since you’ll be paying.”

Tex agreed. “Brad, you have to let me know when they come in and save me a few. I’m with Bree till next week.”

Mack smiled. “Look on the bright side, Tex. You keep pissing her off, and you’ll be back working with us that much sooner.”

“Hurray,” Reggie said without inflection.

Tex laughed. “Oh, come on, Reg. You know you miss me.”

“Like I miss your cooking.”

“Aw, see. You do miss me.”

Reggie rolled his eyes. “Thick like a brick.”

“Like a brick wall.” Tex flexed. “And strong as one. Check me out.”

Brad and Mack were laughing.

Reggie just sighed. “Okay, Mack. It’s time to finally beat the Marines. How many bags can you take?”

The bidding got underway. Brad and Tex took the first four rounds. Mack and Reggie managed to take one and got cocky. They then lost the rest of the game.

Tex brought out more snacks and beer. Even Bubbles got a new bone.

“I want it to shine, Mack. Yeah, I want you cleaning my truck. You know how to take care of your wheels. Reggie…not so much.”

“Up yours.” Reggie flipped him off.

“But if I can make a recommendation, at Sofa’s, make sure you get a few of their apple fritters. And some blondies. They’re amazing.”

As they settled down to finish their food and discuss the goings-on at the station, Tex peppered them with ideas about how to win Bree over.

To his surprise, Mack, of all people, came up with the best one.

“I do have hidden talents,” Mack said and took a bow from the couch.

“Yeah, who knew?” Brad grabbed the chips. “But seriously, Tex. Mack has a good point. Try it his way. What have you got to lose? She already seems to hate you.”

Reggie clapped Tex on the shoulder in sympathy.

“Ow.” Tex rubbed his shoulder. “Easy. I’m fragile.”

Mack pointed a chip at him. “Exactly. Fragile. Vulnerable. Just pile that shit on. Women love trying to fix us.”

“I thought honesty was best.”

Reggie snorted. “Yeah, right. Because telling her you’re scared of commitment is a lie?”

Brad agreed. “Seriously. Lay it on the line for her. That’s after you hit her with the flowers. Just try it. Like I said, what have you got to lose?”

***

But Tex played it smart the next day. He kept quiet, was polite, and did whatever Bree told him to instead of trying to charm her into forgiving him. She kept giving him looks he ignored. By lunchtime, he could see the politeness getting to her.

“Okay.” She let out a loud breath. “Let’s talk about what you said the other day.”

“I apologize.”

Her eyes narrowed. They sat outside at a park in Queen Anne, enjoying sandwiches on a picnic table. The sky overhead was a robin’s-egg blue. Wispy, white clouds fluttered in the cooling breeze while the sun smiled down on the city. The mild temperature hinted at the coming summer, not too cool that Tex couldn’t enjoy his Seattle FD T-shirt with his Nomex pants and a ballcap to keep out the sun.

Bree wore sunglasses, masking her eyes, and a pink tee and jeans with sneakers. He thought she looked beautiful, and when piqued, adorable. But no way in hell he’d mention that. He was keeping to the plan. Being courteous yet slightly distant before taking the blame for everything. Even the fact that the earth was round, if it would make her happy.

He still didn’t think he’d been wrong for being honest before, but perhaps he could have stated his position a little more gently.

“Sorry for what, exactly?” she asked before biting into a ham and cheese sub.

“I had no intention of hurting your feelings or coming across like an ass, which I obviously did.” He gave her a self-effacing smile. She didn’t react. “Look, you want the truth?”

“I thought you already gave me the truth.” She smirked. “You remember. When you said all women fall for you, and the sex makes it worse. That I’d be hurt if I expected too much.” She snorted. “As if your penis should be gold-plated.”

It really should. He swallowed that response. “No two ways about it, that sounded pretty cocky—no pun intended.” Ah, there, she had to bite back a smile. “And condescending. I didn’t mean it to sound that way.” He frowned and tipped up his hat. “You know, after it came out of my mouth, I just sat there, stunned. I wanted to say that I want you, I think you’re too beautiful and way too good for me, and that I prayed I wouldn’t screw up a good thing.” He’d practiced that line over and over again. She had yet to blink. “But instead, I messed it up so I wouldn’t be surprised when I messed it up later, I guess.” Wait, that feels like it might be a little true.

“Oh?”

She needed more groveling.

“It’s just… I’ve dated a lot. I never lied about that. But I never liked a gal the way I like you.” He felt the blush from his neck to his ears. Talk about corny.

“Really?” She sounded partially skeptical. He’d count that as a win, because that meant another part of her might believe him.

“Yeah. Sounds dumb, but when we texted and talked, even briefly on the phone, I felt like you saw the real me. And I thought you were as funny and as smart as you are pretty. Then all that crap happened with my ex and my exploding phone. Like, the worst luck a guy could possibly have.”

“You’re not wrong.”

He sighed. “I know. I just couldn’t let you blow me off a third time, not when once again I was just trying to help somebody. You know, Bubbles.”

“Well, technically you kidnapped me. But it was for a good cause.”

He groaned. “You see? This is my life when it comes to you. I want to look good. I come across as a jackass. I finally get the green light from you, and I’m so afraid of fucking it up—excuse my language—that I fuck it up anyhow. I just… I can’t lie. I want you real bad.” His voice thickened. “But I like you. I don’t want us to be over. I’m killer good in the sack, by the way. So that’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?” Her blue eyes shone with mirth and more than a little interest.

Thank God.

“You have to ask? It’s my foot. And my mouth. Together.”

“True.” She nodded to his sandwich. “You going to eat?”

He had lost his appetite, so nervous she’d refuse to deal with him on any kind of friendly level again. “I will. Just…forgive me, okay? It would mean a lot. I swear I won’t bug you anymore, and I’ll keep my hard-ons to myself.”

“Well, now, don’t be too hasty.”

***

Shoot. Not how she’d meant to put that.

Tex blinked. “What?”

“I just mean, we’ve become friends. Getting to know you better has shown me you’re actually a pretty decent person. Person,” she emphasized when he appeared to get his hopes up. “Not boyfriend or lover.”

“I can live with that.” He smiled. “So, do I get a do-over for Sunday?”

“Um, okay.” She studied him, thinking he looked tired. “I also wanted to apologize for kissing you. I mean, I guess I started it, and—”

“No, no. It was a rough day, and then we got emotional. I might not show it, but I feel it, Bree.”

He sounded so earnest.

“Okay.”

“I mean it. That fire and that poor guy dying, that was awful. I’m sorry you had to see that. The pictures alone tell a story, and it’s tragic. I hope you can use that in your art.”

“I will,” she said softly, glad he didn’t consider her the worst kind of voyeur, trying to take advantage of other people’s pain.

“Good. Now that kiss… That was something we both wanted. I’m telling you true, if we’d gone into your house, things would have ended differently. I don’t want to tell you how to feel. But I’ve been around a lot of trauma, and it can affect you even when you don’t think it does.” He glanced at his water, breaking eye contact. “I don’t want you to regret being with me. If you ever decided we should be together, I’d want you to be glad. Not upset with yourself.”

Bree just stared. That was one of the nicest explanations for a rejection she’d ever heard. And it made a lot of sense. “I think you’re right.”

His gaze shot up. “You do?”

She nodded. “I was pretty emotional after the fire. It’s no secret we seem to click, physically.”

“Hell, yeah. I love the way you look.” He kept his gaze on her face, to his credit.

Hers slipped to his broad chest before flying back to his face. “Me too. The way you look, I mean.” She coughed. “I think we could be compatible in a lot of ways.”

He nodded.

“I’m not looking for anything long-term right now. And with my dad’s stance on firefighters, it’s tough to go there with you.”

“Go there?”

“Sexually.”

He flushed. “Yeah, right.”

She’d give money right now to see if he felt the same butterflies she did just talking about it. But she appreciated him coming clean. “I do like you, Tex. I’m sorry we never got that good first date.”

He nodded. “So, uh, do you think that maybe after this working thing is over, we could have a date? A real one, just you and me? No firefighter. No daughter of the chief. No job between us. Just a guy and a lady hanging out.”

Excited at the prospect, she thought about it.

“And Bree, no pressure, okay? If you say no, I totally respect that. No hard feelings. I know you’re in a tough spot with your dad. I love my career, and I could get a lot of flak from the higher-ups for asking you out. But damn, girl, I just want to be with you. Without all this.” He pointed to his hat. “It’s not about the station, the guys, Carrie, your dad, photography. It’s you and me and enjoying some time together. In public or not. I don’t care. I’d just like to be with you. That’s where I’m coming from. But if you don’t feel it, I respect that. Just think about it, okay? Like I said, for real, no pressure.”

He bit into his sandwich, finally dropping his eyes.

She let out a silent breath, totally enamored with this man’s words. She already loved his body, but she had never been treated to such an intense declaration before. He wanted Bree for Bree. She knew he wanted her. But he’d had the opportunity to have her Sunday and had said no. A user wouldn’t have done that. Also, he knew Bree couldn’t help his career. Quite the opposite, in fact.

“Tell me more about Carrie,” he said between bites. “She hates me now, right? Because I mentioned she was pretty, and I never forget a lady’s face?”

“Yeah, right. I think she wants to challenge you to a basketball game. She still plays now and then. I’d advise against it.”

“No kidding?” He smiled.

God, shoot me now. That dimple is killing me.“Yep. She’s hell on wheels on the court. And in the courtroom.” Ha. I have to tell her that one.

“You guys have known each other a long time, eh?”

“She’s amazing. I told you we roomed together a long time ago. She kind of took me under her wing when I was starting out modeling. She’s a few years older but worlds wiser. We hit it off in Paris. That’s where I met Elliot too.”

“Elliot?”

She felt rather than saw his tension. “Yeah, the cutie at Sofa’s bakery? My friend who called me bossy?”

“Oh, that guy.” Tex frowned. “He looked like he was into you.”

She was right. He was jealous. In her mind, she gave herself an air high-five. “I hate to tell you this, but he was into you.”

“What?”

“Elliot likes men. He’s gay.”

“Oh. Oh.” The second “oh” sounded much lighter. “Well, I am hot. So I’ve been told.”

“I’m going to refrain from any fireman jokes, Mr. Hot.”

“And hose jokes. Don’t make those either. That would be inappropriate.”

She bit her lip to hide a smile. “Right. Especially since your hose is apparently addictive. And most women can’t get off the Tex train once they jump on.” And yes, he’d really said all that.

He cringed. “I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”

She laughed. “You totally did. You have an ego.”

“Hell, Bree. I’m damn good in bed,” he growled. “That’s one area I never get complaints.”

Complaints—from more than one person. Bree didn’t begrudge Tex his past personal life, but she reminded herself to be cautious. “Tex, let me ask you this. Why did you break up with the lady who threw water at you?”

He groaned. “Do we have to talk about this?”

“Please.” He wanted her to forgive him. Fine. She’d get all the info out of him she could. “It would go a long way toward building trust.”

“Vanessa was clingy, okay? I couldn’t breathe without her all over me.” He shifted on the bench, clearly uncomfortable. “I think a couple should do things together. Sure. But she wanted to hang with me and the guys. Every. Night. Weekends were for us. Nights off were for us. Days off were for us. I mean, I’m all for being with the person you like or love. I liked Vanessa. She was a sweet gal.”

“And pretty.” Bree couldn’t forget the blond beauty.

“Well, yeah, but not so pretty inside.” He sighed. “I’m not one to talk behind people’s backs, but you did ask. She was kind of mean about other women. She’d say stuff to me about people when we were out. And she had some issues about me hanging with just the guys. Brad, Reggie, and Mack are my brothers. You know?”

“My dad is still tight with his firefighting buddies. They do a twice-monthly poker night.”

“You get it.” He nodded. “I wasn’t fooling around. I don’t believe in cheating.” He looked her right in the eye. “My parents have been happily married for thirty-four years. I learned a lot watching them. Hell, I want what they have. Maybe that’s why I’m so cautious about the ladies. I’m looking for the same magic.”

“Me too. My dad and mom really loved each other. And my dad was so lucky to find a new love with Charlie. She’s the best.” Charlie’s daughter, not so much.

“It’s hard. McGoverns don’t do divorce. And in this day and age, with everybody breaking up, that’s a lot to live up to.”

“You mean no one in your family has ever gotten divorced? What if you got married and broke up? Would your parents disown you or something?”

“Heck, I don’t think so. I hope not.” He frowned. “It’s just, I feel like I’d be lettin’ them down if I brought home the wrong girl. I haven’t been home in a while, and I moved out at eighteen. Never brought a girl home to Mom and Dad yet.”

“What?”

“I’m not talking about high school dating. Think about it. I was briefly in college then the USMC away from home. I got out, went home for a little, then moved out here. When would I bring a woman home?”

“But you must have had some long-term relationships, right?”

“What’s long term to you?” He cringed. “I sound like a bad bet, don’t I?”

“Not exactly.” She pondered his question. “To me, long term would be six months or more, I guess. I mean, I’ve introduced my parents to guys I’ve dated for longer than a few months.”

“Nope. Longest girlfriend I had was four months, back when I was stationed in Camp Pendleton.” He shrugged. “Long distance is rough when you get deployed. Like I said, I’m not one for cheating. The longest I ever had a girl, it ended when I found out she was seeing other guys when I was out of the country. I mean, I understood she was lonely. I just never understood why she couldn’t have broken it off with me first. To be honest, it didn’t bother me like it should have.” He frowned. “Can’t believe I told you that. I never think about her, honestly. But you asked, so…”

“Wow. She cheated on you?” The woman must have been insane.

“Can I pick ’em or what?” he teased and glanced at his phone. “Heck, we’re wasting daylight. Eat your sandwich, and we’ll get back on the road. Any idea what you want to shoot next?”

“Yes. I want the building that burned on Sunday. I want to see the aftermath.”

He nodded. “Can do.”

“Great. Now let’s enjoy the rest of our lunch, the birds, and the nice weather. But if you wanted to continue to apologize, in many different, colorful ways, for being such a jerk the other day, I’m all ears.”

“Huh?”

“I’d love for you to extrapolate about what a complete dickhead you were. And feel free to use four-letter words while doing so.” Heck, yeah, she’d milk his need to make things right with her.

He flushed. “Look, I was a total douche. A real jerk.”

“You know, you’re pretty good at this.” When he just sat there, she motioned for him to continue.

He rolled his eyes but gave her more of what she wanted to hear.

And she’d never had a better lunch.