A Country Affair by Debbie Macomber

Eleven

Thirty and all alone. The words echoed in Kate’s mind as she walked the short distance to her apartment. Tears burned her eyes, but somehow she’d dredged up the courage to smile and assure Sally that Luke was free to date whomever he pleased. In fact, she’d even managed to laugh lightly and say that she hoped Luke’s dating Beth would finally put an end to all this wedding-lottery nonsense.

Moving at a fast pace, she kept her head lowered and went directly back to her apartment, clutching her purchases. By the time she let herself in the door, her face was streaked with tears.

No doubt Sally would spread the story of her meeting with Kate all over town by evening. Not that it made much difference. By now, the residents of Nightingale should be accustomed to hearing gossip about her and Luke.

Luke. At the mere thought of him, her heart constricted painfully. He’d given up on her and now she’d lost him. Only it hurt so much more than when Clay had broken their engagement.

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she struggled to take in everything that had happened in the past few weeks. It seemed every time she found her balance and secured her footing, something would send her teetering again. Would it never end? Was her life going to be an endless struggle of one emotional pain after another?

She set her bags on the floor, and without bothering to remove her coat, slumped into the overstuffed chair.

“Okay,” she said aloud. “Luke took Beth Hammond out to dinner and dancing. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

But it did. In her heart Kate was sure Luke planned to do exactly as Sally suggested. He’d made it plain from the first that he wanted a wife, and like a fool Kate had repeatedly turned him down. He loved her, or so he claimed, and Kate had doubted him. Now she wondered if perhaps he didn’t love her enough. But over and over again, Luke had insisted she needed him—and he’d been right.

Closing her eyes, she tried to picture her life without Luke. A chill ran down her spine as an intense wave of loneliness swept over her.

Someone pounded at the door, but before Kate could answer it, Luke strode into the apartment. Having to face him this way, when she was least prepared, put her at a clear disadvantage. Hurriedly she painted on a bright smile.

“Hello, Luke,” she said, trying to sound breezy and amused. “What’s this about you and Beth Hammond?”

“You heard already?” He looked stunned.

“Good heavens, yes. You don’t expect something like that to stay quiet, do you?”

“When...who told you?”

“I went to the grocery store and ran into Sally Daley.”

“That explains it,” he said, pacing her carpet with abrupt, impatient steps. He stopped suddenly and turned to study her. “It doesn’t bother you that I’m seeing Beth?”

“Not at all,” she lied. “Should it? Would you like some coffee?”

“No.”

Desperate for a chance to escape and compose herself, Kate almost ran into the kitchen and poured herself a cup, keeping her back to him all the while.

“You seem to be downright happy about this,” he accused, following her into the small, windowless room.

“Of course I’m pleased. I think it’s wonderful when two people fall in love, don’t you?”

“I’m not in love with Beth,” he said angrily.

“Actually I think dating Beth is a wonderful way to kill all the rumors floating around about us,” she said, finally turning toward him. She held her coffee cup close.

Rubbing his neck, Luke continued his pacing in the kitchen. “I thought you might be...jealous.”

“Me?” She refused to admit she’d been dying inside from the moment Sally had told her. “Now why would I feel like that?”

“I don’t know,” Luke barked. “Why would you?”

Before Kate could answer, he stormed out of the apartment, leaving her so frustrated she could have cried.

“You should’ve told him how you feel,” she reprimanded herself. “Why are you such a fool when it comes to Luke Rivers? Why? Why? Why?”

“I saw Luke yesterday,” Rorie said, watching Kate closely as they sat across from each other in a booth at Nellie’s.

“That’s nice,” she said, pretending indifference and doing a good job of it.

“He was with Beth Hammond.”

Kate’s breath caught in her throat at the unexpected rush of pain. “I...see.”

“Do you?” Rorie inquired. “I swear I could shake the pair of you. I’ve never met two more stubborn people in my life. You look like one of the walking wounded, and Luke’s got a chip on his shoulder the size of a California redwood.”

“I’m sure you’re mistaken.” Kate concentrated on stirring her coffee and avoided Rorie’s eyes. Her heart felt like a ball of lead.

“When’s the last time you two talked?”

“A couple of days ago.”

“Honestly, Kate, I can’t understand what’s wrong with you. Clay and I thought...we hoped everything would fall into place after you moved to the apartment. Now it seems exactly the opposite has happened.”

“Luke’s free to date whomever he pleases, just the way I am.”

“There’s only one person you want and that’s Luke Rivers and we both know it,” Rorie said with an exasperated sigh. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just that I hate the idea of you two being so miserable when you’re in love with each other.”

“Is love always this painful?” Kate asked, her question barely audible.

Rorie shrugged. “It was with Clay and me, and sometimes I feel it must be for everyone sooner or later. Think about it, Kate. If you really love Luke, why are you fighting the very thing you want most?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted reluctantly.

When they parted shortly afterward, Kate felt a new sense of certainty and resolve. She did love Luke and if she didn’t do something soon, she was going to lose him.

She drove to the Circle L, her heart in her throat. Luke’s truck was parked behind the house, and she left her car beside it, hurrying through the cold to the back door. Luke didn’t respond to her knock, which didn’t surprise her, since it was unusual for him to be in at this time of day. But she couldn’t find him outside, either, and even Bill didn’t know where he was.

Making a rapid decision, she let herself into the house and started preparations for the evening meal. It gave her a way of passing the time. Dinner was in the oven and she was busy making a salad, when the back door opened and Luke walked into the kitchen.

Apparently he hadn’t noticed her car because he stopped dead, shock written on every feature, when he saw her standing at the sink.

Kate held her breath for a moment, then dried her hands on the dish towel she’d tucked into her waistband. She struggled to give the impression that she was completely at ease, tried to act as though she made dinner for him every evening.

“Hello, Luke,” she said to break the silence that had been growing heavier by the second.

He blinked. “I suppose you’re looking for an explanation.”

Kate wasn’t sure what he meant.

“Taking Beth out on Friday night was a mistake.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

“So you’d be jealous. The night you and I went out, I was furious at the way you started laughing, and talking as if you were never going to marry me. I wanted you to know you weren’t the only fish in the sea. Only my plan backfired.”

“It did?” Not as far as Kate was concerned—she’d been pretty darn worried.

“That wasn’t all that went wrong. Beth saw I was in town on Saturday and started following me,” he explained. “I swear I had no intention of seeing her again, but before I knew it, her arm was linked with mine and we were strolling through the middle of town together.”

“Beth’s a nice girl.”

He frowned. “Yes, I suppose she is. I’d forgotten it doesn’t bother you who I date. You’ve never been one for jealousy.”

“I was so jealous I wanted to die.”

“You were? You could’ve fooled me.”

“Believe me, I tried to,” Kate murmured.

“So what are you doing here?”

“I made dinner,” Kate said sheepishly. She’d admitted how she felt about Luke seeing Beth and she couldn’t stop there. “I’ve got pork chops in the oven, along with scalloped potatoes and an acorn squash,” she rattled off without pausing for breath. Then, gathering her resolve, she casually added, “and if you’re still asking, I’ll marry you.”

Luke stared at her. When he finally spoke he sounded strangely calm. “What did you just say?”

“There’s pork chops and potatoes and—”

“Not that. The part about marrying me.”

She struggled to hold on to what remained of her tattered pride. “If you’re still asking me to marry you, the answer is yes.”

“I’m still asking.”

Kate dropped her gaze. “You’ve been right about so much. I do need you. I guess I was waiting for you to admit you needed me, only you never did.”

Luke rubbed a hand over his face. “Not need you?” he repeated, his voice filled with shock and wonder. “I think my life would be an empty shell without you, Kate. I couldn’t bear the thought of living one day to the next if you weren’t at my side to share everything with me—all the good things that are in store for us. I’ve waited so long, Kate.”

“You do love me, don’t you?” she whispered.

For a long, long moment Luke said nothing. “I tried not to. For years I stood by helplessly, watching you break out in hives with excitement every time you saw Clay Franklin. I realized it was a schoolgirl crush, but you never seemed to get over him. Instead of improving, things got worse. How could I let you know how I felt?”

“Couldn’t you have said something? Anything?”

A flicker of pain crossed his face. “No. You were so infatuated with Clay I didn’t dare. It wouldn’t have done any good—although God only knows how you managed not to figure it out yourself. The first day Rorie met me, she guessed.”

“Rorie knew all along?”

Luke shook his head in bewildered amusement. “We were quite a pair a few months back—Rorie in love with Clay and me crazy about you. All this time, I thought I’d kept my feelings secret, and then I discovered everyone in town knew.”

“Beth Hammond didn’t.”

“No, but she should have. I’ve never wanted anyone but you, Kate Logan. I haven’t for years. Somehow I always kept hoping you’d see the light.”

“Oh, Luke.” She took a step toward him, her eyes full of emotion. “Are you going to stand way over there on the other side of the room?”

For every step Kate took, Luke managed three. When they reached each other, she put her arms around his waist, hugging him tight. She felt the beating of his heart and closed her eyes, succumbing to the wave of love that seemed about to overwhelm her.

Luke’s hand was gentle on her hair. “Do you love me, Kate?”

She couldn’t speak, so she nodded her head wildly. Her hands framed his face and she spread light, eager kisses over his mouth and nose and eyes, letting her lips explain what was in her heart.

“I love you,” he whispered. “If you marry me, I promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.” His eyes shone with delight and a kind of humility that touched Kate’s very soul. Gone was the remoteness he’d displayed so often these past few weeks.

“Oh, Luke, I can hardly wait to be your wife,” she said. “Didn’t you say something about a December wedding?”

“Kate, that’s only a few weeks from now.”

“Yes, I know. But Christmas is such a lovely time of year for a wedding. We’ll decorate the church with holly, and all the bridesmaids will wear long red dresses....”

“Kate, you mean it, don’t you?” His voice was low and husky.

“I’ve never meant anything more. I love you, Luke Rivers. We’re going to have a wonderful life together.”

He kissed her then, with a hunger that spoke of his years of longing. Dragging his mouth from hers, he buried it in the curve of her neck.

“I want children, Kate. I want to fill this home with so much love that the walls threaten to burst with it.”

For a breathless moment, they did nothing more than gaze at each other as they shared that dream.

Kate smiled up at him, and as her hands mapped his face, loving each strong feature, she was astonished at how easily this happiness had come to her once she’d let go of her pride.

Luke’s mouth settled on hers, his kiss almost reverent, as though he couldn’t yet believe she was in his home and eager to be his wife.

As Kate wrapped her arms around his neck, her glance fell on the calendar. She seemed to recall that Pastor Wilkins had placed a sizeable wager on the fifteenth of December. That sounded good to Kate.

Very good indeed.