The Casanova by T L Swan

ELLIOT

I smile as I drive up the tree-lined country road. It’s green and tranquil with rolling hills. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Christopher nods. “It is.” He frowns as he looks around. “What the hell are you going to do out here?”

I shrug happily. “Raise my kids—you know I don’t want my kids to grow up in a city.”

“You don’t even have a girlfriend,” he mutters dryly.

“She’s close.” I smile. “I can feel her near.”

Christopher drags his hand down his face in disgust. “You know, she’s not a ship in the night who’s nearby. You simply decide that you’re ready to settle down and pick someone to do it with.”

I screw up my face. “That’s not how it works.”

“It is.”

“Well, not for me.” I drive in silence for a few moments. “You don’t just pick someone and hope for the best. You follow the signs.”

Christopher rolls his eyes. “Oh please, you and your stupid signs. What do you think is going to happen? You’re going to meet a girl and a neon sign is going to appear over her head saying this is her, I’m the one.”

I chuckle. “Basically.”

“What if you already know her?” he replies casually as he looks out of the car window.

“I don’t think I already know her.”

“Oh, that’s right, because you’re going to have this big romantic moment when you see her. . . you’ll know.” He shakes his head. “How are we even fucking related?”

“I am getting that moment, sue me for believing in destiny. When I meet her, I will one hundred percent know.”

“What happened with that girl you went away with?”

Kate.

I grip the steering wheel tighter as anger rolls around my stomach; it pisses me off that I’m pining over her. She’s got me by the balls, not that I’ll ever admit it. “Didn’t work out.”

“Is that why you’ve been a moody prick since you got back?”

“I have not,” I snap.

“Oh bullshit, you’ve been a fucking nightmare to be around. A bear with a sore head.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

We drive for a while in silence.

“Doesn’t Julian Masters live out here somewhere?” he says.

“Yeah, like ten minutes away. That’s how I first found this area, I came to his house for his son’s christening. It took me eighteen months to finally find the house I wanted. Well, the land I wanted, the house may go completely yet. But the property is beautiful, three hundred acres.”

“What’s the plan?”

“I’m going to move in here as it is for three months or so, find out what I like about the current house and what I don’t. Then remodel or rebuild. It’s huge, has ten bedrooms and five living areas as well as what used to be servants’ quarters; it used to be a big country estate back in the day. The house is a couple of hundred years old so it needs a lot of work.”

Christopher’s eyes flick over to me. “It’s probably fucking haunted.”

“Shut up.”

I glance over at him and he holds his hands up in a spooky gesture. “Ohhhhhhhhh.” He makes a ghost sound. “You’re not going to be scared out here all alone, in this big old haunted house. . . where nobody can hear you scream?”

“Shut the fuck up,” I snap, as I imagine being terrified all alone.

“I wonder how many people died in it.”

“That’s it.” I stop the car. “Get out.”

He bursts out laughing.

“I mean it, get out. I brought you here to look at my new house, not so you can scare the fuck out of me.”

“So, you admit it, you are scared? At least now I know what I’m getting you for a housewarming present.”

“What’s that?”

“Ghostbusters’ voucher.”

“I’m going to punch you.”

I continue driving and we pull into a driveway. The stone sign next to the gate reads:

Enchanted

“What does that mean?” Christopher frowns.

“It’s the name of the house.” I widen my eyes. “You can’t be that stupid.”

He raises his eyebrows. “You’ve got to change that though, right?”

“No.”

“Oh God, this just keeps getting worse. You want to live in the enchanted castle with your princess?” He curls his lip.

“Something like that.” I smile and keep going up the long, tree-lined driveway for around three miles.

“This is all your land?” Christopher asks as he looks around the rolling green hills—it’s picture perfect.

I smile proudly. “Yep.”

“Wow, impressive.”

“That’s me, fucking impressive.”

He chuckles and we drive around the lake and arrive at the house. The real estate agent is parked and she gets out of her car. I give her a wave and pull up.

Christopher peers through the windshield at the old sandstone house. “Yep. She’s fucking haunted, alright. It’s even got a moat.”

“It’s a lake, dickhead,” I whisper as I get out of the car.

“Elliot.” Brianna smiles, shakes my hand. “Welcome to your new home.”

“Thank you.” I feel Christopher walk up behind us. “This is my brother Christopher.” I introduce him. “This is Brianna.”

“Hello.” She smiles shyly, her eyes lingering on his face, and I have to try and stop my eyes from rolling. How this woman sells any houses with the amount of flirting she does is beyond me, although it does explain the amount of listings she has.

“Welcome to your new home.” She hands the keys over; a red bow is tied onto the keyring. “When do your things arrive?” she asks.

A vehicle sounds in the distance and we all turn to see the moving truck slowly coming up the driveway. “That’ll be them.”

“There is an envelope in the top drawer in the kitchen with all the instructions for everything.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll leave you to it then. Congratulations, I’m sure you’re going to be very happy here.”

I shake her hand. “Thank you.”

“And remember, if there is anything I can do. Anything,” she accentuates. “You have my number.”

I fake a smile. “I do, thank you. You’ve been very helpful.”

She smiles as if waiting for me to say something more.

I look over to Christopher and he raises his eyebrows. I have zero attraction to this woman.

Awkward.

“Okay, bye.” I march up to the front door and with a sad wave she gets into her car.

I put a key into the lock, it doesn’t turn.

“Did you fuck her?” Christopher asks as he watches her car drive away.

“No.” I wince as I struggle with another key. “As if.”

“She’s very—”

“Weird.” I cut him off as I try another key.

“Yeah, anyway. Open the door.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do here?” I jiggle the lock.

The truck pulls up and four movers all get out. “Hey there.”

“Hello,” I call. “Won’t be a moment.” I struggle with yet another key. “Fuck it,” I whisper. “Why didn’t she tell me what damn key it was?”

“Maybe you’re supposed to just walk right through the door?”

I inhale deeply. “Christopher, so help me fucking God.” The key finally turns and the door pushes open with a deep, long creak.

Christopher and I peer in and then look at each other, and then go back to peering in.

It’s gigantic, and grand, with incredibly high ceilings and fancy cornicing. Dated and otherworldly.

It’s like a step back in time.

Utterly beautiful.

“Wow,” Christopher whispers in awe.

I smile broadly as I imagine how cool I can make this place.

“I know how it got its name,” he whispers again.

“Me too. I’m enchanted already.”