Age of Ava by Melanie Moreland

Chapter 22

Hunter

The next two weeks passed in a haze. The days started to wind down, the house project coming to an end. Everything was almost complete. Ava had been right, as she always was, and Liv had done a great job. She found a local furniture maker and bought an entire line of display model samples. They were crafted of wood, resembling Stickley furnishings with the heavy wooden bases and thick, padded cushions. The sofa and chairs were comfortable, durable, and attractive. The tables reflected the heavy wood trim on the furniture, giving the house a masculine appeal, yet not over the top. The king-size bed in the master bedroom was a sleigh bed she had painted white to “soften it.” We reused the dressers that were in the house and upgraded the handles and painted them to match. The guest rooms had queen-sized beds, wrought-iron headboards, and simple furniture. The scatter rugs were soft underfoot and easily cared for. Practical dishes and glasses were in the cupboards, and the necessities were in place. I had to admit, it was a style I liked a lot and could easily live with. Somehow, Liv had nailed it on the head without much direction from me. Ava would love it.

I hadn’t seen her since I’d walked out of her house that night. I’d packed my duffel bag, took the filing box from the cupboard, and left. She had already disappeared, and I knew she was on the beach, no doubt staring at the water and cursing the day I entered her life.

I would always feel the opposite. I was blessed to have met her.

I missed her more than I ever expected to. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to experiencing. I had never cared about anyone enough to miss them. I felt a continuous hollow feeling in my chest, and the yearning for her, instead of diminishing as I thought it would, only grew daily. I had to keep Cash tied on his lead to stop him from going to her house. At times, I wished someone would do the same for me, the desire to head down the path and be with her overwhelming me to the point I would find myself at the trail behind the house, unsure how I’d gotten there.

I ran a hand over my face, the silence around me deafening. The boom box was unrepairable, and the bottom compartment that held my small collection of tapes had broken open as well, the rain-soaked cassettes unusable and dead.

Much like my heart.

The sound of footsteps made me rush to the front door, wondering if it was Ava. But the footsteps were too heavy, and when I opened the door, I wasn’t surprised to find Ronan there. I waited, wondering if he was going to punch me, but he brushed past me.

“You look like shit,” he muttered. “Even worse than my sister.”

“Is she ill?” I asked, feeling panicked.

He looked over his shoulder. “Only for you, asshole.”

I followed him, not commenting.

He set down a file on the table. “I have your bill, including Liv’s portion.”

“Okay.”

“I expect full payment before you leave.”

“I’ll have it tomorrow.”

He asked the burning question I knew he had been wondering since the project started.

“How are you affording all this, Hunter?”

“My grandfather left a nice chunk of change to me, as well as the house. I figured it was as good an investment as any.”

“So, you’re not leaving because of money.”

“No.”

He leaned on the chairback, looking at me. “You’re throwing away the best thing in your life. The best thing you will ever find.”

“I’m not good for her.”

“Bullshit. Right now, I want to put a beating on you so bad, your broken ribs will feel like a tickle. I promised my sister I wouldn’t touch you. But I can speak my mind.”

I owed him, so I remained silent.

He stared at me, his shoulders suddenly losing their tension. His voice was surprisingly kind when he spoke.

“Hunter, what are you doing?”

“What I should have done months ago. I’m leaving.”

“Why?”

“I can’t be what she needs. What she deserves. All I have to offer her is a bunch of promises we both know I’ll break.” I met his eyes. “I don’t know how to love, Ronan. How to stay.”

“Ava would show you.”

“She shouldn’t have to do that. I can’t be fixed. My mother broke that part of me long ago.”

He opened his mouth, then shook his head. “My dad almost lost my mom because of a stupid idea in his head. You have the same one, and I wish to God I could get it out of there.” He slammed his hand on the chair, frustrated. “I like you, Hunter. My family likes you. My sister is suffering, and she won’t hear a word against you. You are throwing away the one woman who could fix you. She already has, but you’re so stubborn, you can’t see it.”

“She’s better off without me. If I stay now, I’ll only leave later.” I stood. “I want to ask you a favor.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “You have some balls.”

“Look after her. Make sure she finds her smile again. Once I’m gone, it’ll be better.”

“And this place?”

“I’m going to leave it to a rental company. They can handle the bookings and the care and send me my share.” I looked around. “I always thought I’d come back, but I don’t think so anymore.”

“We can do it.”

“What?”

“We have a leasing division. They can handle it for you.”

“Why would you want to do that?”

“Because Ava loves this place. I want your word, if you decide to sell, we get first dibs. Until then, it will be well looked after.”

“Deal.”

“I’ll bring the papers tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

* * *

I signed the papers and handed them to Ronan. He wasn’t as confrontational today and said nothing about Ava. He shook my hand and assured me they would list the property and keep me informed.

“When do you leave?”

“A couple of days.”

I was surprised when he stuck out his hand again. “Safe travels, Hunter.”

“Thanks, Ronan. Thanks for everything. I mean it.”

He turned to go, and I noticed a white envelope on the table. I picked it up. “You forgot something.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s for you.”

I turned it over, recognizing Ava’s flowing script on the front.

For your travels, Hunter.

I hope you find your place.

Ava

I looked up, puzzled, but Ronan was gone. I set down the envelope, unable to face opening it right now. I felt hollow. Empty. The usual spark of adventure for the next leg of my journey was absent. The urge I thought would hit me was gone. I only felt regret.

I went to the guest room where I had been keeping my things. I didn’t want to mess up the place, so I’d been sleeping on the sofa and using the smaller bathroom. Beside the bed were my duffel bag, a suitcase, and the two boxes I planned to take with me. I kicked at the one box, then bent and removed the package of envelopes that contained the letters I hadn’t yet read from my grandfather. Maybe before I left this place, so I could leave it all behind, it was time to read them. I needed to open the last of the envelopes that tied me to this place—including Ava’s.

I poured some whiskey into a glass, took a bracing sip, and began to read.

* * *

Ava

I sat on the rocks, facing the water. I felt tired. Weary—right to my bones. Hunter was gone. Ronan had told me he was leaving in a couple of days, and this morning, I had walked over to say goodbye, but his truck was gone and the house locked. It looked deserted without the truck in the driveway or the porch door open. I hadn’t wanted him to leave on bad terms, but I was too late.

Defeated, I had come here to the hidden inlet, knowing it would be uninhabited.

We used to play on these rocks as children, but rarely did anyone come here anymore. The sandy beach around the bluff was a much nicer place to sit and spend time.

But this was the place I came to when I wanted to be alone.

I stared at the water that hit the rocks with loud slaps today. The wind was strong, and storm clouds were beginning to gather in the distance. I wondered if Ronan would be bugging Beth to show him with the telescope he had given her all the variations in the clouds. He loved the fact that she was a meteorologist and was always asking her “cloud questions.”

I looked down at my feet, noticing my toenails were chipped. I never let that happen. I liked to keep my toes neat and pretty, but I hadn’t felt much like soaking in the tub or giving myself a pedicure. It would allow too much time to think. So, I worked. I was in the office early, stayed late, and participated in every meeting I could. I pasted on my smile, made funny jokes, and hoped like hell none of my family saw through my façade. If they did, they were too polite to tell me so.

A bark made my head snap up. I was shocked to see Cash bounding toward me, his tail wagging, his head high. When he reached me, he was so excited, he almost pushed me off the rock. I stroked his head, accepting his wet kisses.

Hunter followed him slowly, standing a few feet away from me. I met his eyes, the color of them bright in the light. Ice glowing inside fire. He looked as weary as I felt, the dark shadows under his eyes a direct contrast to his pale irises.

“I thought you left. I was at the house, and your truck was gone.”

“Someone cut their leg on a broken tree branch this morning. We were at the vet.” Hunter indicated Cash’s bandaged leg.

I rubbed Cash’s head again. “Poor baby,” I crooned softly. “Will he be okay?”

“He’ll be fine.”

“So, you’re leaving soon?” I asked, not looking at Hunter. It hurt too much.

“I planned to. But…” He tapped something on his hand, the motion causing me to glance up. He had the envelope I’d given Ronan in his hand. “You made me these.”

“For the road, yes.”

“When did you do this, Ava?” His voice was raspier than usual. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired or another reason.

“Over the last little while. It took me a long time to find all the songs.”

“How?”

I shrugged. “You had the tape cases with the song titles listed on the bookcase. I took a photo of them and then searched for all the songs listed and burned you some CDs since your tapes got ruined. I noticed your truck had a CD player, and you can probably buy yourself a newer boom box to play them if you wanted.”

His voice was quieter, and I realized he had stepped closer as I kept my gaze focused on Cash.

“Why?” he asked.

“I know what they meant to you. I wanted you to have them.”

The words hung between us.

“They are the only good memory I have of my mother. The only positive thing she ever shared. Those tapes, that music, was the one thing I had that made me smile from my upbringing. I thought they were gone, and you gave them back to me.”

I stayed silent, unsure how to respond.

“I read my grandfather’s letters.”

“Oh.”

His voice shook as he spoke. “They did want me. My grandparents. My grandfather explained my mother took me away because she was angry at him. I did live here with them for a while, but then they had a fight and she left, taking me with her because she knew that would hurt them. My mother never forgave him. He begged her to let them have me, but she refused.” He barked a bitter laugh. “She would have been better off without me. I would have been better off without her. Everyone lost because she was pissed and held a grudge.”

I heard the pain in his voice. “I’m sorry.”

“My entire life has been a lie. Everything. She made me feel unloved. Unwanted. She told me no one had ever loved me. She made me feel as if I was as broken as she was. She refused to let me feel safe.”

“Hunter,” I whispered.

“I learned a lot about my grandparents in those letters. Their story, their life I missed. My grandfather knew how kind you were to him, Ava. Your family as well. He regretted his attitude, but his pride stopped him from admitting it. He was sorry for the way he acted. For the things he said to them, and for refusing their compassion.” He shook his head. “He said a lot of things to people about your family which he regretted but, again, was too stubborn to correct. That’s why I reacted badly the first time I found out who you were.” Hunter paused. “I never apologized for that.”

He met my eyes, and I nodded in understanding.

“He had a lot of regrets in his life. He told me not to follow in his footsteps.”

“Good advice,” I whispered.

“I read a few of her letters to him he kept. She taunted him about me.” He shook his head in frustration.

“I’ve never felt anger and loathing toward someone as I do her now. My grandparents searched, hoped, prayed I would come back. They wanted me to have a stable life, and they knew, with my mother, I wouldn’t get that. His letters apologized over and over for failing me.” Hunter’s hands clenched into fists. “He isn’t the one who failed me. She is.”

His pain was evident, his distress acute. He shifted from leg to leg, his shoulders tense.

“I’ve always prided myself on my honesty. It was something I could hold on to. Even if it wasn’t pretty, I told the truth. I’d been lied to so much, I swore I would never do that.” Suddenly, he began to pace, moving over the rocks, prowling like a restless animal. He stared at the water and pivoted toward me. “And I kept my promise. Until you.”

“Wh-what?’

“You were right. I am a coward. I lied to you. I told you I couldn’t love you. I told you I couldn’t stay here.”

It was my turn to ask the question. One small word that held such potential for the future.

“Why?”

“Because I was fucking terrified, Ava. I still am. Of the way I feel about you. How much I need you. I have never needed anyone. Ever. My mother taught me that lesson, burned it into my soul. But you showed up in my life, and suddenly, I needed you every fucking day. Nothing seemed complete or right if it didn’t involve you—no matter how I tried to fight it. I even lied to myself, thinking you were just an itch I needed to scratch. Someone I could walk away from.”

His intense gaze locked with mine, and I couldn’t tear my eyes from his.

“I need your smile, your sass. I need you to put me in my place. Tease me. I need your touch. Jesus, you make me feel so much with just a touch.” He shook his head. “And your family. Your fucking wild, intrusive family. I’ve never wanted to be part of something as much as I want to be part of them. To be accepted and be in on the family jokes and stupid barbecues.”

I was stunned. Unable to speak.

“You make me weak. You make me want things I was told I can’t have. Things I didn’t think I deserved or even existed.” He pointed toward the bluff. “I read those letters last night, then opened your envelope. All of them contained love. For me. For over thirty years, my grandfather hoped I would show up. He loved me that whole fucking time, and my mother stole that from me. You loved me all these months without asking for anything in return.”

Tears formed in my eyes at his words. He was pouring out his heart to me, but I still wasn’t sure why. Was this an apology? Was he still leaving?

“I opened your letter from my grandfather too. He knows everything you did for him. He made you the second beneficiary and left you the house in case, eventually, one day, I did find my way back—even after the ten years had passed. He told you to read all the letters so you would understand me.” His voice caught. “He said if I showed up, he hoped you’d love me. He asked you to give me a chance. He thought maybe I’d be difficult, given how I was raised.” He drew in a long breath. “I think his words were, ‘Given his DNA, he’ll be a pigheaded idiot.’”

A giggle-sob escaped my mouth. “They were not.”

“Swear to God, they were.”

“What else did he say?”

“So much. I have so much to tell you. So much I want to share. If you agree.”

“Agree?”

“To give me a chance.”

“You need to say exactly what you mean, Hunter.”

He dropped to his knees in front of me. “I want to grow old with you. Eat dinner for four every Friday and get sucked into your family so deep, I don’t remember anything about growing up. I want to belong to you. For this place to be where I belong. I’m tired of being alone.” He cupped my face, his hands shaking. “You’re my beginning, Ava. I want you to be my end and everything in between. I love you, Little Dragon. Everything about you.”

I clutched his wrists, desperate to believe his words. “Am I enough for you?”

“You’re perfect for me.”

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want to stay. Let me stay, Ava. Hold me and never let me leave.”

I flung my arms around his neck.

“Yes.”

* * *

Hunter

Ava lay in my arms, the storm outside beating against the windows, the waves crashing on the rocks and sand below. The wind was so loud it roared in its ferocity, shaking the glass and bending the tree branches low to the ground with its anger.

But inside the house, we were at peace. After we left the beach and came up to the house, we talked. I showed her the pile of letters. Let her read the one my grandfather had written her.

She giggle-snorted at his request to try to love me.

“That would have been awkward if you’d shown up with a wife and kids.”

I had to laugh as I kissed her. “Pretty sure he knew that possibility was low.”

We were both exhausted, so as the clouds gathered and the light turned gray, I pulled her to the bedroom and tugged her into my arms on the new bed.

“The house is so lovely,” Ava murmured. “Liv did a great job.”

“You like it?”

“Yes.”

I didn’t hesitate. “Enough to live here?”

She tilted up her head. “What?”

“Would you leave your family’s compound and live here with me?”

“You want me to live with you?”

“Among other things, yes.”

“Other things?”

“I never want to be without you again. I never want to be alone again. I want to marry you, Ava. Then I want to take you away with me. I want to show you some of the places I’ve seen. I want to share them with you.”

She blinked, her mouth forming a small O.

“Too much?” I asked.

“Hunter, I thought I lost you. Now you’re talking moving in, marriage, and travel.”

I pulled her closer, our bodies aligning perfectly. My ribs had healed to the point that now I felt only the slightest ache when I moved. “Okay, let’s break this down. Can I convince you to take a few weeks off work and go away with me? We both need to rejuvenate.”

I loved the way her eyes lit up.

“Yes.”

“When we get back, would you live here with me?”

“Yes.”

“When I ask, will you marry me?”

“Why do you love me?”

“Because of your heart. The way you love me. Accept me. I love your feisty business side, but I adore the vulnerable, soft side you let me see. I like the fact that you need me as much as I need you. I love your laugh, your directness, and your sweet soul. All of you, Ava. I love all of you because you were made for me. You are the gift I’ve been given to make up for everything that came before. I’d do it all again if it meant I got you.”

Tears filled her eyes.

“I know you worry about what happened before. The men who hurt you. I promise never to do that again. You will never be too much, or not enough. You are perfect for me. I’m only sorry I was too scared to admit it.”

Her lips quivered, but she smiled. “Okay, then.”

“Okay, you’ll marry me?”

She nodded.

I reached into my pocket and held up a ring. “This was my grandmother’s. It was in the last envelope. My grandfather hoped I would give it to the woman I loved.” I slid it on her finger. The dainty band was scattered with tiny diamonds and probably wasn’t worth much monetarily, but sentimentally, I knew Ava would know its value. “Wear this until we can pick out something together. You can wear it as a band if you want or on your other hand.”

“It’s so pretty.”

“It marks you as mine.” I met her beautiful eyes. “You are mine, right?”

“Yes. And you belong to me.”

“I’ve never belonged anywhere before.”

She pressed her mouth to my lips, her voice a gentle hum to my ears.

“Welcome home, Hunter.”