Ignite by Tana Stone

Chapter Fifteen

Kalex

“Grekking hell,” I murmured as I stepped into my darkened quarters.

It was the first thing I’d said since I’d left Zoey in the officers’ lounge and strode silently through the dimly lit station, the corridors empty. I’d been grateful that no one had been wandering the halls late in the night cycle. I hadn’t been forced to acknowledge any Drexian salutes or speak to any warriors I knew. Which was a good thing since my mind was still a tempestuous mess after leaving Zoey.

I didn’t illuminate my suite, instead letting my eyes naturally adjust to the shadows, the only light coming from the long window overlooking space on one side, and a panel of inset purple light glowing high over my large bed. I preferred to stay in relative darkness as I kicked off my boots and quickly shed the rest of my clothing, tossing it onto the tightly tucked, steel-gray duvet.

I wasted no time walking into the bathroom—the motion-sensor ambient lighting making the room glow blue—and flicking on the shower, welcoming the sound of the water hitting the stone floor. There was only a half-wall separating the shower from the rest of the room, and all of it made of obsidian stone quarried from the Drexian home world, the shimmering rock seemingly embedded with a million tiny stars. Without waiting for the water to warm, I stepped under the stream, jerking from the cold but bracing my hands on the wall and bowing my head as the icy water cascaded over my head and down my back. My nodes were so hot I suspected steam would rise up as the cold water hit them.

“Grek,” I said again, the Drexian curse as comforting as the Drexian stone beneath my hands and feet.

What had I done? How many rules had I broken in one fell swoop? I groaned as I thought about my body entwined with Zoey’s, slick skin slapping on slick skin. We’d fucked like we fought—hard and desperate, holding nothing back. Even now, with frigid water sluicing down my body, thinking of her made my core heat and my skin prickle.

I shook my head, scraping both of my hands through my hair and tipping my head back so the water could run down my face. I was surprised my hot skin wasn’t sizzling as the water hit it, although the water was slowly warming, the shock of the cold morphing into a warmth that would soon fill the room with steam.

I’d hoped the shower would cool me off and banish the thoughts of the astro-architect from my mind, but instead, it made me think about her even more. I couldn’t stop myself from imagining her naked body curved against mine as water flowed over both of us. Now that I’d seen all her gorgeous curves, it was impossible not to imagine her wet and pushed up against the dark stone.

I curled one hand into a fist and pounded it against the wall, the impact jolting me back to reality. I couldn’t have Zoey in my shower. I couldn’t have Zoey again, period. Not only was fraternizing with the crew frowned upon by Drexian High Command, I was also her commanding officer, and captain of the station. I was in a position of power over her, no matter what she believed, and it was an abuse of my power to have any sort of relationship with her.

I flinched at the word relationship. It would be a big leap to call fucking Zoey on a table in the officers’ lounge a relationship. Besides, what she’d said to me before I’d left had made it perfectly clear that she wasn’t interested in anything more. The way she’d looked at me, I wondered if she was even interested in me.

I turned and let the now-hot water hit my chest, the droplets stinging my skin. I may have been inside the woman, my cock buried to the hilt as she’d bucked and screamed, but that didn’t mean anything had changed between us. Or had it?

I ran a finger along the scar below my chest muscles, recalling the feel of Zoey’s finger when she’d touched it—her soft skin almost buzzing against the puckered scar. Why had I gone cold when she’d asked about it? Why hadn’t I just told her about my illness as a child?

Because you didn’t want her to think you’re weak.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pain and fear from the past washing over me. Even though it had been so long ago that the memories of being hooked up to machines were hazy, I could still taste the sharp tang of fear. It hadn’t just been my fear, though. It had been my parents’ fear that had seeped into my bones, the look in their eyes that I was going to die from the rare illness. The sheer terror that they were going to lose me. I never wanted to see that look on anyone’s face again. And I hadn’t.

I rolled my neck, pivoting so that the nearly scalding water hit the back of my neck and my tight shoulder muscles. After I’d recovered, I’d made it my mission to be tougher and stronger than anyone else. I’d pushed myself in the Drexian military academy and then moved on to Inferno Force, which only accepted the strongest and most daring warriors. I’d proved myself every step of the way—and proved to myself that I would never be afraid again. Instead, I ran headlong into danger, and beat it back every time.

No one feared for me anymore. Not that I had anyone who would worry about me now. My parents were gone, and though my Inferno Force brothers would mourn my death and drink to my memory, they would not be tortured by my loss. I inhaled deeply and sucked in a lungful of hot steam. It was better that way. Which was another reason why nothing could ever happen with Zoey again.

I flipped off the water, standing under the shower and letting the last streams course off me. Now that the water had cleared my head, I knew more than ever that I’d made a mistake. A big impetuous mistake that could never happen again.

I snatched a black towel from the nearby rack and rubbed it roughly over my body and hair before tossing it back on the rack. I’d been weak, letting my urges control my better sense, but I couldn’t let myself be weak again. An Inferno Force captain was never weak.

I strode from the bathroom and flopped on top of the bed, too hot from the shower to crawl under the covers. My newfound determination gave me confidence that I could make sure what had happened with Zoey remained a one-time slip-up. Drexian warriors were disciplined in mind and body. I could resist the temptation to fuck her.

I huffed out an exasperated breath as I glanced down my own body to where my cock jutted upward from my body, rigid and aching at the mere thought of Zoey. Now I just had to convince my grekking body.