Unfriending the Dr by Piper Sullivan

Persy

“Dr. Vanguard, your next appointment is here.” The soft professional voice of my receptionist, Callie, pulled me from thoughts of Ryan and brought me back to work issues.

I frowned and looked at my calendar. “My one o’clock?” It wasn’t even noon yet. My cellphone vibrated on the desk and I frowned at the screen. Another unknown caller.

The sound of typing covered the silence on the office phone, followed by a sigh. “I’m sorry Dr. Vanguard, the night receptionist didn’t update the calendar. You have a noon appointment and they’re in exam room two.”

“I’ll be there in a moment.” I made a note to talk to Melanie about the night receptionist who took calls for appointments and redirected off-hour calls to the doctors on-call each night. The new hire tried hard, but this wasn’t the first time, or the tenth, she’d set up an appointment and didn’t record it down anywhere. “Just out of curiosity, Callie, where did you find the appointment information?”

“On a sticky note attached to the computer monitor.”

Yep, I’d have to talk to Melanie before I left for date night with Titus. I tried to do something special with my son at least once a week, usually we grabbed dinner and a movie, checked out a new arcade or museum, whatever activity he wanted to try. It was always a fun time and a learning experience for me. “All right, thank you.” I ended the call and pushed away from my desk with a sigh.

My cell phone buzzed again, and I could admit my curiosity was piqued. This was either the biggest sale ever or I forgot to pay a pretty big bill. Unlikely, but the caller was persistent enough to get me to pick up.

“This is Dr. Vanguard.”

There was silence at first, and then a sigh as if the caller had been holding their breath. At least I hoped that was the reason for the deep breath.

“Hello?”

“Persy. Hi. It’s me, Fergus.”

I froze at the words, at the sound of a voice I thought I would never hear again. “Ferguson. What can I do for you?” He had some nerve blowing up my phone after all this time, and if not for the fact that I had a patient waiting, I might have let myself get riled up.

He let out one of those self-deprecating laughs that made him seem unassuming and non-threatening. “That’s a hell of a cold greeting. Persy.”

“I don’t have time for whatever this is, Ferguson. What do you want?”

He sighed. “I was hoping that we could talk.”

His tone brought me up short, and I glanced at the seconds hand on the clock, ticking away. “I don’t have time to talk. I have patients.”

“Just not for me,” he added with a laugh to take the sting off his words. “Now you have my number. Call me anytime.”

“Right.” I shook my head even though Ferguson couldn’t see me, and ended the call. Whatever he wanted, it wasn’t important. He’d given up the right to be important in my life and Titus’ life when he gave up his parental rights and walked away. He’d chosen to go home over staying with his child.

I told myself that it didn’t matter, that whatever Ferguson wanted was his problem, not mine. But as the day went on, thoughts of my ex filled my mind. I couldn’t help but wonder what in the hell had prompted him to call me of all people after all this time.

Titus. He wanted to see his son, to meet him for the first time.

No. I wouldn’t allow it.

He’d given up all rights to get know Titus, legally and figuratively.

By the time I’d seen the last patient and finished the last notes of the day, I was all wound up over hearing from Titus’ biological dad. I didn’t owe Ferguson anything, nothing at all in fact. Less than nothing some would say, and Megan had said it often. I should just put the call out of my mind so I could enjoy date night with my son.

Titus decided on burgers for dinner, so we went to his favorite place in Jackson’s Ridge, Burger Buffet. “I love it here, Mom!”

“What’s not to love about a place that lets you make your own burgers with hundreds of toppings?”

The sound of his happy laugh never failed to brighten my day, to lighten the load on my shoulders. “Bacon?”

“No more than two slices,” I answered in my best don’t argue with me I’m your mother tone. It was a difficult line to tow, keeping your child happy without indulging them in every little whim. “You don’t want a bellyache, do you?”

Rounded violet eyes stared up at me and Titus shook his head vigorously. “No way. That was bad last time.”

Sometimes though, you had to let the kid indulge and hope the learned an important lesson for the future. “Okay, then. Two slices. What else?”

“Cheese and chili and those sugary onions that Ryan always gets.” Titus’ eyes widened in shock and he covered his mouth with a gasp. “I mean, that Ryan likes.”

I tossed my head back and laughed. Ryan and Titus were two peas on a burger-loving pod. They were both terrible at keeping secrets, as if I didn’t know they often detoured from the bus stop after school to eat at Burger Buffet. “Don’t you know that you can’t keep secrets from your mother?”

Titus opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. “Mom,” he sighed. “It’s not a secret, well it is, but it’s a guys’ secret. Not a lie.” He looked up at me, heart in his eyes. “Are we in trouble?”

“I’ll have to think about that,” I told him as we progressed down the menu of burger options. I made him squirm until after we placed our orders and hit him with my best ‘mom stare’.

“You’re mad,” he said on a huff.

I smiled. “Yes, Titus, I am mad. I’m upset that neither of you thought to bring me a burger. I love burgers.”

As the words registered, his bony little shoulders relaxed and he fell back against the fake leather booth seat. “Mom,” he whined. “You scared me.”

“Good. That’s what happens to little boys who don’t bring burgers for their burger loving mothers.”

“Sorry, Mom.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you. Now, tell me about your day.” I listened closely with a smile as Titus gave me a minute-by-minute rundown of his day.

“Is it weird that Ryan is gonna be my dad for the fishing trip?”

Thankfully Titus waited until after the food arrived at the table to ask the question, because a mouth full of steak fries gave me time to figure out how to answer. “Not at all. Ryan’s your friend and your father isn’t around. Should you miss out on the fishing trip because your biological father isn’t in the picture?” It broke my heart to think of how cruel kids could be to any person or situation that was different from their own.

Titus gave my question careful thought and shook his head. “No.”

“There are plenty of kids at your school who will go on the fishing trip with stepdads, boyfriends, uncles and grandfathers. Is that weird?”

“No,” he sighed and picked up his burger, cut into quarters so he could eat it like a big boy. Aside from physical differences, Titus looked so much like Ryan when he bit into the burger that any stranger on the street would have no problem believing they were father and son. “Thanks, Mom.”

“No problem. You should never feel weird or ashamed of your relationship with Ryan. Plenty of fathers aren’t around, but other men step into that role because they want to, because they love you enough to be there for you, and sometimes that’s even better.”

“It is?” He looked so adorable with ketchup smeared on his cheek that I didn’t have the heart to tell him not to talk with his mouth full.

“It is. Ryan is here because he chooses to be, not because he has to be. He thinks you’re so great that he wants to be around you, and he’s going fishing with you so he must really love you.”

Titus giggled. “I’m gonna show him how to fish.”

“Of course you are, because you are a good friend.”

“I am,” he smiled proudly and dramatically dunked his fry into a mound of ketchup and mustard blend before shoving it into his mouth.

And my boy wasn’t hurting in the confidence department. “How’s your burger?”

“Good,” he answered with an excited grin. “And messy.” The smile on his face said that he enjoyed the messy part just as much as the eating part. “Mom, where is my real dad?”

“Your biological father?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Him.”

“Well we dated when we were younger and I thought we loved each other, but he missed his family back home in Canada and had to leave.” I considered it progress that it no longer hurt to recount the story, not even to the person most affected by that decision.

“How come you didn’t go to Canada with him?”

I smiled. “Because I had just started my job as a doctor and my life was here.” I thought our life was here, but Ferguson wanted something else.

“How come he didn’t want to meet me?”

That was an impossible question for a mother to answer. Ferguson wasn’t a bad man, but he was a bad father. It was time for a geography lesson. I pulled out my phone and brought up a map of Canada. “He lived in Toronto which is here and we live here.”

“That’s far.”

I nodded. “Exactly. He had already gone home when I found out you were growing in my belly, he didn’t want to come back.” For either of us.

“That sucks,” he growled.

“Language,” I shot back automatically. “But yes, it did.”

Titus picked up another fry and dunked it harder than he needed to, an easy way to expel some frustration. “I have Ryan and he’s a great dad.”

“That’s where you’re a lucky little boy.”

“I’m a big boy, Mom.”

“You’ll always be my little boy, even when you’re taller and bigger than me. Even on your wedding day, you’ll be my little boy.”

“Ew, I’m not having a wedding.”

“Perfect. That means you can live with me forever.”

His eyes grew wide. “We can play Mario Kart and have date nights every week!”

I smiled and shook my head, wishing I could slow time down so he would never grow into a kid too cool to hang out with his mom. It was inevitable and I tried to cherish every special moment like this because I knew it wouldn’t last forever. “Sounds good to me. Just remember this night when you’re older.”

He giggled and picked up another piece of his burger with a hungry smile. “I will.”

As I took in my son, happy and excited for the simple things in life, I had to wonder if this conversation about Ferguson, given his recent calls, was all a coincidence or the universe trying to tell me something.

I shook off those thoughts, postponing them for a later time. “Cookie pie for dessert?”

“Really?”

I nodded. “Just one and we’ll split it.”

“Okay,” he sighed, slightly deflated by my answer. “We can share.”

I sighed dramatically and shook my head.

“What’s wrong Mom?”

“Nothing, just that my little boy is becoming a big boy.”

Titus smiled and I felt my heart swell in my chest, my love for him so strong that I cursed Ferguson, for the thousandth time, for walking away so easily.