The Boys Down South by Abbi Glines
20
asher
When Bray refused to go to counseling over his temper issues, the doctor prescribed an antidepressant he said helped with anger management. It had. A lot. It kept Bray calm. For the past five years, he rarely ever lost his temper. He was laid back and a smartass. I should have noticed he’d been different since I got home. There was no telling how long he’d been off them. He’d covered it up well. Until two nights ago.
Scarlet’s leaving was for the best. I knew Dixie was going to miss her and I hated that for her, but my brothers needed time. If I had to drag Bray to a counselor and sit there with him twice a week, I was prepared to do it. There was something deep inside him none of us knew how to help him overcome. Something that haunted him. Controlled him. He needed help. More than a damn pill could do.
We’d kept his issue and the fact he needed medication for it from the others. Only I knew. Momma had asked me to talk him into taking it in the beginning. She couldn’t get him to do it. I’d somehow managed to convince him he needed them. But with me gone, he’d decided to go off them. I knew that after this, I wasn’t going to be able to return to Florida. I’d go back for a small break, but I was needed here. Momma would tell me I wasn’t, that I should go live my life, but I knew better. The boys needed me. Momma needed me. I shouldn’t have left to begin with.
“Asher, I need you to deliver a load to Luke Monroe, if you will,” Denver called out from the back door of Watson’s Feed and Seed. I was unloading a truck and restocking. The sun was hot as hell and normally I liked doing deliveries. But not this time. Not to Luke Monroe’s. Not today. Not after the other night. Avoiding Dixie was the only way I managed to stay sane. In the last forty-eight hours, I had to deal with her more than I could bare because it made me miss her even more. Our bond was still there. Even when hell was breaking loose, it was there. However, telling my boss I wasn’t going to do my job because of a girl wasn’t exactly an option. I swore under my breath and called back, “Okay, what’s he need?”
“Hannah is bringing you the list. She’s the one who took the order.”
And this just kept getting better and better. Hannah liked having an excuse to come out here and see me. If she didn’t have an order for me, she brought me a drink. It was nice of her to do that, but I knew by the way she was smiling and giggling that it wasn’t because she thought I was thirsty. Hannah wanted us to become more. She wasn’t hard on the eyes and unlike some of the other girls in town, she was also intelligent and ambitious. I’d heard all about her plans after college. Hannah was organized, even more so than me, she liked current events and chatted on a lot about politics. I listened, but didn’t say much. She had a nice voice, and if only briefly, she’d distracted me from my thoughts of Dixie. But it was short-lived.
I wiped my forehead with the towel I kept tucked in my pocket. When sweat got into my eyes, with dirt mixed in, it burned like a motherfucker. Before I could prepare myself for going to Luke’s, Hannah came strutting to the back. Her navy shorts were showing every inch of her legs. One centimeter shorter and her rounded ass cheeks would peep out for all to see. The pale yellow tank top she was wearing was the only thing covering her tits. No bra. I wondered why Denver let her dress that way. Display herself like that.
“Need help loading this stuff,” she asked as she all but bounced walking toward me, grinning and selling it.
“Thanks, but I got it,” I replied.
She always smiled, perennially happy about life, which I envied and often wondered what that felt like. But she wasn’t dressed for manual labor. She never was, yet she always offered to help me.
“I can ride with you,” she said, as if she was being helpful.
Taking Hannah with me would keep me from being alone while going to Dixie’s for the first time since this all happened. But I had demons to face and needed the quiet of my truck to prepare myself mentally. Dixie was very likely going to marry Steel. I had to accept that. Move on, though I wasn’t sure yet how I was going to do that. Although Bray’s reaction wasn’t healthy or normal, I understood his desperation. I felt the same way. I just reacted differently.
“I’m sure you’re needed at the front desk. I got this. But thanks,” I told her as gently as I could. She moved closer and closer every time she rode with me. I was concerned Hannah would be plastering herself up against me soon. Again, she was easy on the eyes and it wasn’t hard having her pressed against my body that way; I just wasn’t ready. As much as I wished I was, I wasn’t, but she kept trying anyway. I respected her enough not to use her. I didn’t think she saw it that way. That’s what worried me most.
“I’d rather be with you,” she replied, her voice dropping into a husky tone that was intended to be sexy. She wasn’t trying to be subtle at all as she rubbed her chest against my left arm.
I stepped back and reached for a bag of feed. I wasn’t even sure what kind I was holding. “Uh, Hannah, I’m flattered. But we both work for your dad and I don’t think that, uh, well…” I really sucked at this, “I think this is a bad idea.”
She pouted. Looked damn good pouting, too. But not good enough to make me forget where I’d be going with her.
“I just knew going to the Monroe’s might be tough on you. I wanted to be there for support, if you needed any…support. I can think of a few ways I could help ease any ache…or suffering that going there might cause you.”
Her eyes went to my cock as she spoke. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t consider it. I was a man, but I didn’t hesitate when I said, “Thanks Hannah, but it’s best if we keep this a friend thing, if that’s okay with you?”
She sighed and dropped the seductive gaze she’d been giving me. She looked more like old Hannah now. Sweet, kind Hannah, but in fewer clothes than she’d been wearing that very first day when I started working there. Her clothing had gotten skimpier and skimpier by the day, and by the end of next week, if she continued at her current pace, Hannah would be coming to work naked. Maybe her daddy would notice then.
“You’re always going to love Dixie Monroe, aren’t you, Asher Sutton?” She wasn’t talking in her sultry voice anymore. She was back to being herself. I thought about denying it, but I knew Hannah wouldn’t tell anyone, no matter my response. It would stay between us and I needed to say it, admit it to someone. Anyone.
“Yeah, I will, but I let her go, and she moved on.”
She frowned. “Why did you break up with her? That’s a mystery no one has ever understood.”
“It’s complicated.” I wasn’t telling anyone that. Not Hannah. Not a fucking soul.
She nodded as if she understood, when I knew she didn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t. “Okay, Asher, I get it. But when you’re tired of seeing her with your brother and you’re ready to move on to something else, don’t forget me. I can wait.”
“If that day ever comes, you’ll be first I call.”
That brought a smile to her face. I liked seeing her smile. I didn’t want to think I’d been the one to take her ever-present smile away. “I could still go with you for moral support. As a fellow employee.”
I considered it. Having Hannah with me would’ve made it less awkward, but then again, it could’ve made things even more awkward, too. I shook my head. “Not this time. This is something I need to get over and deal with…but thank you for asking, Hannah.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Okay, good luck, then.”
“Thanks.” Best thing I could have hoped for was for Dixie not to be home. Then I could unload, talk to Luke about work, and leave as quickly as possible.
Loading the truck didn’t take me long. I was on the road and headed to the Monroe’s in about twenty minutes. Had Hannah been sitting in the seat beside me, I might have felt a false sense of security. But that was all it would’ve been. No matter who was there, I had to face them eventually, see this through. And if Dixie was there, then I’d have to talk to her. Talk to her like my brother’s girlfriend. Accept what I said and what had to be, knowing she loved me, too. That was the hardest part. Knowing that my heart wasn’t the only one I broke. If there had been a way to save Steel in all this, I would’ve done it, but I didn’t see any other way to escape the truth.
Pulling the truck onto the dirt road that ran beside Luke’s big barn, I saw only his truck sitting there. Relieved by that, I parked and jumped down. I planned on making some small talk, unloading the truck, and being gone in no time at all.
“I can help you unload that, Asher.” Dixie’s sweet, southern drawl stopped me in my tracks.
Motherfucking shit.
