The Boys Down South by Abbi Glines

20

bray

I stood there. Watching the tail lights of Scarlet’s white Camaro drive away. Deep down, I’d known she wasn’t ready to stay. Not once had she truly smiled and meant it. But I had wanted her to stay so damn bad, I’d let myself believe she would.

Going after her was my first thought. Begging her. All the shit I’d spent the evening doing. If Ari showing up was all it took to send her fleeing, then I had no hope of ever really having Scarlet.

She wanted the fucking fairy tale Dixie and Asher had found. Scarlet was smart enough to know I wasn’t the one to give it to her. Brent would have been, but she hadn’t loved Brent. She thought she loved me. But if she did… she’d have fucking stayed. No matter what.

“Let her go.” Steel’s voice wasn’t welcomed. No one’s was. I wanted to be alone.

“Do I look like I’m moving?” I snarled, angry that he thought he could advise me.

Steel sighed, which meant he was going to keep talking. Fuck me.

“She seems better. Different. I think wherever she is and whatever she is doing has been good for her. If she’s running back to it then she must agree.”

Her leaving had nothing to do with that. It had to do with getting away from me.

“She’d scared of me. Of what we have. I can’t love her and she wants romance.”

Steel didn’t speak up right away. Love and forever weren’t exactly things he was knowledgeable in. I wouldn’t point that out. I was a bastard at times, but even I wasn’t going to throw salt on that shit today. He didn’t need it.

“Then she’s gotten smarter. She knows that and she wants more. She respects herself now.”

I glared at him, wishing he would leave me the hell alone. “I respect her. That ain’t our fucking issue.”

He shrugged. “Not the way I’m talking about.”

I was done with this conversation. Going back to that tent wasn’t happening; Dixie would only frown at me, and Asher would be pissed. No one would fucking care that Scarlet had left me, twice now.

I walked toward the truck instead.

“You can’t be serious!” Steel called out.

I kept walking.

“Dixie and Asher haven’t even left yet!”

I threw up a hand and waved. “Tell ‘em I said congrats and shit,” I replied.

“Momma is gonna kill you,” Steel warned me.

That was possible. But I wasn’t going back. Even for my momma. I needed to be alone. Face this shit again and not end up in a black hole for weeks. Losing Scarlet was not going to put me under again.

“For once in your goddamn life think about someone other than yourself!” Steel yelled.

That caused me to pause. I should just keep walking, but fuck if I didn’t need to defend myself after that comment. Turning around slowly, I leveled Steel with my gaze. “My leaving is thinking about someone else. Asher don’t want me here right now. I’m gonna need to get drunk. I’m angry. Fucking furious. I don’t need to be at this wedding. So back off me, Steel. Go be the good guy somewhere else. You lecturing me is about to cause a mother-fucking scene.”

“STEEL!” Asher called out.

We both swung our attention to see Asher standing just outside the tent, watching us.

“Leave it,” he said. “He needs to go. Don’t try and stop him. Just come back here and let him go.” The authority in Asher’s voice was something we’d grown up with. He was the oldest. He was the one everyone respected.

Steel shot me one more frustrated glare then headed back to the tent. I shifted my gaze back to Asher. He gave me a short nod then turned and went back to his party. Back to his wife.

Fuck, that sounded weird. Wife. Jesus, why would anyone want one of those? And to be so damn happy about it. Seemed like a life sentence to me.

“Is he fucking leaving?” Dallas said as he came from the dance floor, looking at all of us.

“Yes, Dallas. He is. Go back to dancing,” Asher replied.

Dallas stared at me as if I was an alien. “But that’s shit!” he told Asher while looking at me.

“That’s not your business, kid. Get back in there and have some more fun.”

Dallas, like Steel, would do as Asher told him. Although neither was happy about it.

“Tell Dixie I said she made a beautiful bride and congrats for me,” I told Asher, feeling a tiny sliver of guilt over leaving.

He smirked. “Okay.” He was amused by my guilt. Fucker.

“Momma is gonna kill ‘em,” Dallas said loudly.

“No, she won’t,” Asher said then put his hand on our large baby brother’s shoulder and led him back to the others.

I stood there a moment, watching them go. Wishing I found happiness in things the way they did. They’d all been so damn jolly when we were kids. I never understood them. When Asher had broken up with Dixie, it had been the first time in my life I’d seen him go dark. Sure, we’d all be upset when Dad died, but it hadn’t been a dark cloud over them.

Darkness seemed to follow me. It was a part of me. Held onto me. Joy wasn’t my friend. Scarlet had been the closest thing I’d experienced to any of that. It was one reason I was desperate to have her near me.

Dixie met Asher as they reached the tent. She lifted her eyes to me and with a sad smile waved to me before Asher put his arm around her and they went back to their party. She understood.

If Ari hadn’t shown up, there was a good chance that Scarlet would still be here. But what good would that do? She would have left eventually. Some other girl would have come up to me. Said something stupid. Given Scarlet a reminder of the life I’d lived. Then she’d had gone for good.

Maybe it was better this way. Get it over with. Find a way to move on.

Brent hadn’t come to try and stop me before I got in the truck. The only brother who wasn’t watching my every move. He was too consumed with Sadie. Which was good. Fucking perfect. But that also wouldn’t make Scarlet stay.

Glancing back in the rearview mirror, I pulled away from the house. Left the music and noise behind me. I was tempted to go sit at the lake and sulk in my depression. But I wasn’t sinking that low. I would go find a distraction. Whiskey. My life. The same shit I always did. Why change now. I had no reason to try.