The Boys Down South by Abbi Glines

40

March 28, 2006

Sparkle Rose,

There is a new one now. He comes in my room when he gets here. I don’t want him to. But Momma tells me to shut up and hits me in the face if I cry or run from him. She said it’s the least I can do for ruining her life. I don’t want to cry but I don’t like when he touches me. It feels bad and I get sick at my stomach. So I cry.

Scarlet North

Nine Years Old

November 23, 2006

Sparkle Rose,

It’s Thanksgiving today. I made spaghetti and grill cheese sandwiches. Mom wasn’t here. She went to visit friends in Colorado she said. I called Dad. He didn’t answer. But the house is quiet and I like it this way. No one is here to make me unlock the doors. I watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on the television. Then I made popcorn and watched Miracle on 34th Street. I wish she stayed gone all the time. Maybe she will be gone on Christmas too.

Scarlet North

Nine Years Old

June 1, 2007

I know he’s not my father. I don’t have one. His being gone all the time is because he wants away from her. I do too. We have that in common. I wish he’d just take me with him.

Scarlet

December 3, 2008

I punched the new one. Right in the balls. He screamed and hit me across the face. Called me a little bitch. But I didn’t care. Not even when mom started hitting me with the belt she got out of father’s closet. Still didn’t care. Because it was all worth it. He left. He didn’t touch me anywhere but my thigh this time. I stopped him.

Scarlet

October 2009

It happened. Father came home unexpected. Mother’s new friend hadn’t come in my room yet. I knew he would. He would hold me down while she tied my hands together. I’d started closing my eyes and thinking about other things. If I try really hard I can completely zone out. Leave the room almost.

I don’t know how he knew but he did. My father that is. He called me out of my room. I heard loud voices and yelling. I didn’t want to go out there but I went. He was never home. Maybe this time he was taking me away. Even if he wasn’t my real father.

He asked me if that man had ever been in my room. I didn’t even look at my mom. I knew her threats. That I’d go to jail. But I was older now. I’d looked it up online and I knew that wasn’t true. When I had told her as much she’d pulled a gun out of a drawer and asked me if I wanted to be shot. Sometimes I thought being shot might not be so bad. Then I’d be dead.

I told him yes and that he touched me and I hadn’t been able to say anymore. Admitting it made me feel as if the dirty was all over me. That it was there on me so he could see it.

The man started to run for the door when father stepped in his way. He told him that he didn’t want this out. That if the man promised to never come back he’d let him go. But returning would be a one way ticket to prison. I didn’t know you need tickets for prison. But I guess you do.

When it was just the three of us he told me to go back to my room. I don’t know what they talked about. Or for how long. But it’s been two weeks now and he’s not been here but neither has any of the men.

Scarlet

August 23, 2010

Today I started junior high. Mom didn’t come out of her room to see me off to school but if she had I’d have thought she was taking some kind of drug again. Her brief stint with happy pills father put her on last year only lasted two months. She packed my lunches those days and did the laundry. A couple nights she cooked dinner. But she also gained twenty pounds and refused to take them anymore. Within a week she was back to drinking too much, sleeping with men who never came near my door anymore. I even had a new lock installed. The men were young now though. Like they could be in college.

The best thing was I think I made a new friend. She’s quiet and sweet. I’ve seen her around before but she doesn’t talk much. When that bitch Emily James took her lunch tray and dumped it in the garbage I walked over and shoved Emily into the garbage cans too. I told her she threw the wrong trash away. Then I sat beside Dixie, that’s my new friend’s name, and offered to share my lunch tray.

This year just might not be so bad after all.

Scarlet