The Degradation of Shelby Ann by Emma Cole

Chapter Twenty

Shelby

Dirk didn't, in fact, show up that night. Whatever problems there were with the shipping company kept him out until the next afternoon. I was in my dressing room, having just hit the button to power up my old phone to see if Sylvia had gotten back to me about Mama yet, when I heard the door to my bedroom open.

I hurriedly stuffed the phone into a drawer as Dirk called out for me. After the incident at Mama's place, I'd been afraid to use the one Dirk had given me, and for whatever reason, Jerry continued to pay the bill for my old one. Or maybe it was on auto-pay and he hadn't noticed, but I doubted something like that would get past the man.

"Shelby, darling, there you are," he greeted me as he came into the dressing room.

With his drawn features and rumpled clothes—the same ones he'd been in when he'd left the night before—he appeared haggard. As he came closer, I noticed his eyes were bright, his pupils enlarged, and he was barely managing to stand still. But he didn't do anything bad. He just embraced me and kissed me on the forehead as I stood there stiffly, afraid to move.

"I'm sorry, darling. I tried, but I need some time." He rested his forehead against mine as he apologized, for what I didn't know, and after a moment he started to back away. "I have to go. I can't be around you right now, please understand. If there's an emergency, have Carter get Milo."

Completely bewildered, I could only nod, but then an inkling of what he was getting at grew. He's going to Sasha and Marigold. I wasn't sure how to feel about knowing he was going to have sex with other women, but I was certainly not upset about avoiding his attentions. Mostly, I felt sad that this was my life, our relationship, and that he had demons that he had to let them out in such a manner.

As he neared the door, my phone buzzed in the drawer where I'd hidden it. Dirk absently pulled his own from his pocket then frowned and shook his head as if he was confused. Before he could put it away again, mine took up an incessant buzzing, drawing his attention to the drawer.

“Is that yours?” he asked as he went to retrieve it. Dread settled over me like a second skin when his expression changed from curious to angry. “Why is this in here, Shelby?” He held up the offending object, still ringing with Sylvia’s name across the front.

“I was just checking on Mama, Dirk. I promise I wasn’t trying to leave,” I hurried to explain as I wrung my fingers together.

“That wasn’t at all what I thought, but I’m glad to know it’s still at the front of your mind. Why are you hiding this? You have a phone. I provided it for you, so the least you could do is use it. But no, here you are, sneaking behind my back over checking on your mother. Not that I approve, by the way, the woman is toxic and not good enough for you!” Dirk’s voice rose with each point he made, and although it did seem silly to hide something so simple from a normal person, he wasn’t normal, and now he was pissed. How the heck did he not see himself as toxic? “What else are you keeping from me, Shelby?” he demanded, eyes narrowed in suspicion while he perused the room as if it were a vault of secrets.

“N-nothing, Dirk. I just didn’t want you to get mad. I’m sorry. I’ll call Sylvia from my phone. Uh, my other one.” My words tumbled out so quickly I lost track of them, not doing myself any favors by reminding him of the item in his hand. Which he threw across the room. It hit a rack of clothing and fell to the floor, but at least it was quiet.

“I don’t believe you,” he retorted succinctly. “You had no reason to hide that, so what else is there?”

The threat was clear, but I hadn’t done anything, and I wished that he could have made it out of the room without incident. Now I had to deal with his mood, one he’d freely admitted was complete crap.

“What do I do that isn’t monitored, Dirk? How was I even supposed to know that you weren’t aware that I had the phone? Besides, I don’t have any of my old contacts in the one you gave me. It was made very clear that I was to leave my old life behind. It was a simple message asking if Mama was still getting on okay.” His shoulders lost some of their rigidity as if my pleas were somehow satisfying his anger.

“No more, Shelby. If you want to call someone, call. Don’t be a sneak about it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he took several deep breaths. “I can’t handle it right now, so I’m taking it with me. Use the one I gave you, understood?” I nodded, grateful that the issue hadn’t been worse...and that he was going to leave me alone.

I watched as he went to retrieve the old phone, but after he picked it up, he paused and surveyed the room. My heart beat picked up when he pulled my tattered backpack from its cubby. I had a feeling he wouldn’t give it back after he took it, and tears filled my eyes when he stalked out, taking the mementos and the little bit of my own money I had left with him.

A few moments later, the slamming of his bedroom door startled me out of the pity party I was indulging in on my bed. I’d thought he’d gone to ‘relieve’ his anger, but my door banged open, bouncing off of the doorstop, as he appeared. Instinctively, I quailed at sight of him, a red flush on his skin and hate blazing at me from his ice-hued gaze.

“What the fuck is that, Shelby?” He flung the object onto the bed, and though it landed upside down, I knew exactly what he’d seen on the other side of the oversized button.

I paled as my eyes flew to his, already shaking my head. There was nothing I could say. I’d forgotten the photo was in the bag, had even meant to get rid of it when I found out Carter was here, but there had been little opportunity to do so, and then...I simply forgot.

“Did you let him touch what’s mine?” Some of his anger abated as anguish filled his voice, his eyes begging me to deny it, but I couldn’t. If I lied, but Carter told the truth...

“I didn’t know you knew each other. It was before we met.” I shrugged and held up my hands helplessly. What else was I supposed to do?

“Why does he always get what’s mine? How could you let him touch you?!” he ranted as he began to pace back and forth in front of my bed while raking his hands through his already mussed hair. “You said only once... It was him!” Besides the terror making it hard to follow, I didn’t understand what he meant at first. But as his tirade went on, I clued in, my heart sinking to my toes. There was no way I was getting out of his brand of ‘punishment.’ “Are you still sleeping with him? I’ll kill you both, no matter what Father has to say about his golden boy!”

My head shook as I told him the truth. “No! There’s been nothing of the sort, I swear. Dirk, I wouldn't cheat on you.” The pregnant silence that followed punctuated what had been left off, but it might as well have been shouted.

“That was to save you from me, Shelby! But you just couldn’t love me, could you? Why does it always have to be him?” The self-deprecating laugh he let loose was just this side of manic, causing goosebumps to break out on my arms. “Did you know Father demoted me last night? He sent Carter in to ‘clean up my mess.’ So, guess what, Shelby? The golden boy won’t be here to tattle to Father like he did last time. But I will be, here that is, unless I’m summoned to assist with my own damn company!” His shout, punctuated by the slap of his hands on the bed next to me about had me crawling out of my skin. “Sluts get what they deserve, darling. You shouldn’t have betrayed me, and maybe I should have listened when Father told me all women are vicious creatures—beautiful to look at, but more apt to eat your heart than to cherish it.”

I had no clue what he was muttering about his dad for, but the grip he had on my arm as he hauled me off the bed had me balking instantly. “Dirk, no! You can’t do this. I haven’t done anything wrong!”

The sharp crack of his palm striking my cheek was loud in the room, seeming to surprise even him as he paused to stare at me wide-eyed for an instant. "Why'd you make me do that?” he said softly, almost as if he wasn't talking to me at all. Yet it didn’t stop him from pulling me from the room and down the stairs while I cradled my burning skin in my free hand.

"Dirk, please," I whispered as we entered the hall.

“It’s Winston, slut. Now get in there.” We’d reached the dreaded room. I sobbed just at the sight of the door. “Stop that crying,” he demanded as he threw the door open.

Marigold and Sasha were already there, stripping down. My hands began to tremble as I awaited the command I feared would come. He’d promised that the next time I displeased him, he’d take it out on my ass.

“Prepare her, girls. You have an hour.” He didn’t even look at me as he left, the sound of the door locking from the outside seeming overly loud in my anxious state.

A whimper escaped my lips as Sasha took hold of my elbow to guide me into the bathroom. She appeared to be the nicer of the two, but I had no illusions about whether she’d follow Winston’s instructions to the T. He wouldn’t hesitate to viciously reprimand her if she failed him, my own burning cheek a stark reminder of that.

“Come on, Missus. Let’s get it over with. Looks like you've had a day of it already, so no need to make it worse." At her observation, I wondered how willing she was to be there. I'd assumed she'd signed on for it, some people enjoyed sex on the rougher side, but maybe she was just as stuck as I was. "Hang your dress on one of the hooks on the back of the door and put your shoes under the cupboard in the empty spot at the end. Sir doesn’t like it if we leave anything out to get in his way.”

"What do I have to do?" I didn't even know what all 'preparing' entailed, though I could guess. Yet I still wanted it spelled out for me so I at least knew what to expect.

"The same thing we have to do. Make sure we're clean, inside and out, for whatever he wants to do...without complaint."

It was as I expected, and so, with my head bowed in fear and shame, I shucked off my clothes and followed her instructions, ending up with my underthings in my hand. Silently, she pulled out an empty drawer above the same cupboard I’d stored my flats in. With both of us completely naked, she directed me to lie down in the bottom of the tub on a towel while the water came to temperature in the sink.

“Pay attention and remember how it works. We might not be here to help next time.” I jumped at the voice, and my gaze shot to the door to find Marigold leaning against the frame, observing my humiliation. Her features were set in stern lines, but I could identify a hint of pity in her eyes.

It almost made me feel guilty for being vulgar to her when I berated her and Winston, but I couldn’t quite pull it off. She knew what she was doing, taking up, or maybe continuing on, with a married man. I ignored the thought that insisted she might not have a choice. I needed someone to blame, to take on some of the anger that I harbored for the entire situation. She'd helped enable him for who knew how long, and now I was bearing the brunt of it as well.

Sasha snapped her fingers in front of my face, impatient with my lack of attention. “Missus, if I get it extra over you not knowing the ropes, I won’t be so pleasant the next time I get ahold of you. A little extra filling will remind you not to let your mind wander too far when you’re in here.” I didn't know then what she meant by 'extra,' but I was also sure I'd find out.

In the meantime, she pulled out a small plastic basin packed with items she began setting out on the counter one at a time. With each one, my anxiety ratcheted up another notch. When she started adding water to the powder she’d dumped into a clear silicone bag and it began to foam, I debated what my chances were on running again. The only thing that held me in place was the fact that I had no resources and the punishment that stood starkly in my mind from the last time I'd attempted it.

“Have you used the toilet today?” My heart leapt in my chest as my gaze darted to Marigold still standing in the same spot.

I’d forgotten she was there and felt like an idiot that I’d let her startle me again. I needed to be more cognizant of my surroundings. In my current situation, awareness was the only tool I had available to help me at all. Annoyed at the question and the woman in general, as well as embarrassed about lying naked in a tub waiting on an enema, I snapped at her, “As much as any other day. And unless you have a reason to be in here, get out and close the door. This isn’t a spectator sport.”

“Well, ain’t you just all high and mighty, Miz Hamilton. Funny, from where I’m standing you just look like another whore for hire,” she spat back, lips curled with her maliciousness.

"Like you, Marigold? Funny, there's a room with the same name. Is that where you tried out for the position?" I snapped at her, losing any sympathy I might have had. I'd had my doubts that it was her real name, and at her silence, I'd guessed correctly.

My smugness didn't last long as she sneered at me, uncrossed her arms, and sauntered into the spacious bathroom. “I’ll show you how the big girls do it. I don’t mind a bit if you watch. Your husband has enjoyed it a time or two. He also likes to fuck on a full belly every now and then.”

She cackled at my expression of horrified disbelief. I wasn't positive if she meant he liked to be full, or to have sex while she was, or heaven forbid put it in back there while her bottom was still filled, but any of it was beyond my realm of comprehension. I had a notion that I’d only scratched the surface of my husband’s proclivities. He was a sexual deviant, and Mama’s comment about regretting leaving with him rang through my head, though I highly doubted she’d ever imagined he was this bad.

Sasha, impatient, cleared her throat loudly and glared at Marigold before pointing to the bulging bag that was nearly filled to the top with a pale milky solution. I eyed the bag in trepidation as she moved it from the sink to hang off of a hook mounted in the wall above me. It had to have at least a gallon of fluid, if not more, in it.

"You probably can't take it all," she said, much to my relief, then dashed it all to hell as she continued. "But this is what you'll have to work up to. This part connects here, and I think this bit is fairly self-explanatory." She hooked a hose to a spout at the bottom of the bag, then attached a black, tapered nozzle to that. As she dipped it in a jar and pulled it back out to spread the salve evenly, I noted that it was nearly as long as her hand, fingertip to wrist, and about as thick as three of her fingers.

"Put your feet up on the sides and draw your knees back. I want you to do this part yourself. Hold on, let me grab a mirror." To my profound embarrassment, she retrieved a square handheld mirror, large enough to make out all the details when she held it at the right angle for me to see, and then she handed me the nozzle. "Smear this around your asshole, with just a bit inside." She set the jar of salve on the side of the tub with the lid off, and I hesitantly collected a bit on my fingertips and followed her directions. "Girl, you're gonna want to get that hair off of there too when you're done." My fingers flinched back and away from my bottom. I wasn't sure what was worse—her coaching me while observing, or commenting on my pubic hair. "No, no, no! Get some in there. Shave later. Or I can wax you, but that'll make you tender. Maybe next time."

She started muttering to herself about the time, and the panic that I might not be ready for Dirk nearly had me jabbing the thick gel between my cheeks. Taking the nozzle from Sasha, I watched as the tapered tip eclipsed the view of my puckered entrance and sank in smoothly. I managed to breach the tight ring but immediately lost my ground as it clenched against the burning sensation. Even when it was back out, the muscles didn't want to settle, and my helpless gaze met Sasha's sympathetic one.

"Alright, that's not going to work," she said on a sigh. "Give it here and get on your left side, then bring your knees up and spread your cheeks for me." I complied, burning with shame and stiff with anticipation as I waited for her to shove it in, my eyes closed.

But that's not what happened. A low buzzing reached my ears, making my eyes snap open so I could see what the hell she was up to. A slender, pointed vibrator sat in her hand. "I grabbed this just in case. It'll help take your mind off of—" She made a circular gesture with the vibrator in regard to nether regions. Keep it on your clit, and when you feel the nozzle, push out. I'll hold you open so you can relax." Right. Relaxing is the last thing that comes to mind. Regardless, I did as I was told.

The porcelain of the tub had leached the heat from my body despite the thin insulation of the towel, so at least it wasn't as cold as it was hard and uncomfortable. Using one arm for a pillow, I tucked the other between my legs to get the aid into place, then clicked it back on. I was too nervous and embarrassed to enjoy it, but when the slicked tip of the nozzle hit my asshole, I was grateful for it. I pushed out when she told me to, and gritted my teeth through the entry until it was firmly settled inside, then my hole pulsed and clenched as it tried to push it back out.

"Now, none of that. Just hold it," Sasha said as she held it firmly in place. "Here it comes. Try to relax, and if you can enjoy it, do so."

I thought she was off her rocker, but when the water started to flow, my body did funny things inside, and to my horror, my pussy dampened while my clit pulsed in time to the vibrator. There was a real chance I could have orgasmed, except the bloating became uncomfortable. My insides felt like an overfilled balloon, the sensation downright painful, and the cramping started.

"Please, I have to get it out!" I nearly shouted as panic took over. I was convinced I was going to suffer real damage if I didn't expel it immediately.

In the process of doing her own cleansing, Sasha just shook her head at me in pity. "Just a little more, and then you'll need to hold it for a few minutes."

The tears began then, as I knew I'd get no quarter, and I prayed that it would be over soon.

But once wasn't enough. Twice more, I was filled. First, with more soap, and the second, to rinse it out, with 'extra' for good measure so I didn't forget her warning. Besides the agony of it, the emptying was mortifying, and I never wanted to do it again. Yet I knew if Dirk commanded it, that was exactly what I'd have to do. There was no escaping this hell, and I was quickly learning that everything that had come before wasn't nearly as bad as it could get.