The Dancer and the Masks by Bea Paige
Chapter 12
CHRISTY
My feet still, the lingering sting of the lash Jakub gave me registering in some distant part of my subconscious. I slam the lid on the pain, forcing it back to where it belongs as I dip low to the ground, my right leg slightly extended, my left knee bent outwards as I take a bow. Not once do I take my eyes off them.
My captors.
The Masks.
Sweat slides down my forehead, a few stray strands of hair sticking to my temple and cheek. I push them off my face as I slowly rise, adjusting my feet into fourth position.
It’s been a while since I’ve danced so freely. More often than not, outside factors prevent me from completely letting go, from breathing life into every step rather than simply following them. Believe me, there’s a difference. My muscles ache pleasantly, my heart pounds with exertion, but my soul, for the briefest of moments, had flown free.
Dancing has always been a passion of mine. Grim says that I’m good, and yet I’ve never been able to pursue a career for fear of what doors it will open and the people I might meet, because where people are, so too are more visions. It’s why I work with the dying. There aren’t any surprises. Death is a finality that even I can’t see beyond.
How ironic then that under these circumstances, I’m able to dance with a gravity I haven’t experienced before. I’m not certain whether it was the degradation of the stinging lash, being free from the shackles or the way Leon had touched me, but for the first time in my life I didn’t hold back. I let everything out, and for the briefest of moments, whilst I danced, I was free.
Of course, it was just an illusion.
As The Masks stare at me, I wonder how many more times we’ll play this game. I’m not a fool, I understand what’s happening here. I’m an expert at keeping myself locked away, imprisoned in a cage of my own making. I’ve done it my whole life. Leon was right in his assumption that I’ve lived a sheltered life, but that wasn’t forced on me, I chose it.
The difference is that it was my choice, but being kept prisoner here isn’t.
“You’re talented,” Konrad says, a note of awe and sincerity in his voice. I don’t allow myself to bask in it. I know a manipulative prick when I see one. This constant push and pull is part of their mind games, something they no doubt honed on the other Numbers. I’ve been shackled one minute, freed the next. I’ve been treated abominably then shown a modicum of decency. This kind of behaviour can wear down the strongest of people until, eventually, they’ll believe whatever version of the truth these men tell them. Not me. I’ll never lose sight of what this is.
Never.
“How long have you been dancing?” Jakub asks as he rests his elbows on the armrests of his chair, clasping his hands together in front of him. He’s looking at me more like a commodity than a possession. I’m not sure that’s any better.
“Why don’t you tell me? You seem to think you know so much about me already,” I counter, refusing to make this easy for him.
Konrad smiles, his uncovered lips pulling back over straight, white teeth. “I don’t know about my brothers, but up until this moment, I thought I understood you. Now I’m not so certain. You’re quite the mystery, Zero.”
“You think?” Leon asks, swirling the amber liquid in his glass. “I’m not sure there’s much depth to her. She can dance, but she’s nowhere near as talented as the others. She’s pretty, but she’s not stunning. She’s got fight, but I’m willing to bet it won’t last. I’m bored already.”
I grit my teeth, but don’t bite. Leon can go fuck himself.
“Well, I’m still interested.” Konrad says, trailing his heated gaze over my body. “Anyone who can take a lashing like Zero just did is worth investing more time in. I’d be happy to see how long it would take her to scream, seeing as you’ve already lost interest in her.” Leon stiffens, his shoulders tensing. Konrad chuckles, glancing at his brother. “Yeah, I thought as much.”
“She’s good enough to be in the show,” Jakub says, interrupting them both and leading the conversation down an entirely different tangent. “The Menagerie could do with another dancer. Father must’ve thought so too, given he died trying to acquire one. Her name is Penelope Scott. I assume you know her, given your sister was so intent on keeping her from us?”
“We haven’t met but, yes, I know of her,” I say, determined not to give away just how much. She’s a close friend of Grim’s, as close as anyone has ever gotten apart from Beast. Pen is important to my sister and whilst we’ve never met, I know a great deal about her and the men she loves through Grim.
“By all accounts she’s an exceptional dancer,” he continues.
“I wouldn’t know. Like I said, we’ve never met.”
Jakub nods, turning his attention to his brothers. “What do you think? Should we put Nothing into the show?”
“No,” they both say simultaneously.
“Why?” Jakub asks, the lazy way he twists his head to look at them belies the tension he holds in his jaw. If I’m not mistaken, this seems like some kind of test.
“She’s ours, remember,” Konrad reminds him. There’s no denying the possession in his voice.
“Yes, and she’ll remain ours. I’m merely suggesting that she could perform in the show. That’s it.”
“And what if I don’t want to? What then?”
Jakub turns back to face me, steepling his fingers beneath his chin. “Do you honestly think you have a choice?”
I fold my arms across my chest. “I’m not foolish enough to think anything of the sort. I’m simply asking a question. What will happen to me if I refuse? Will you tie me to The Weeping Tree again, maybe you’ll lock me up in the dungeons, or wait… Will I be whipped?”
Jakub pushes up out of his seat and strides across the room towards me. “Let me show you,” he snarls, grasping my upper arm and yanking me to the other side of the room. Stopping before one of the tall bookcases, he looks over his shoulder at his brothers. “Leon, Konrad, you too.”
Leon grins. “Brother, so soon?”
“Why not? She’s here now. We may as well show her,” Jakub replies, reaching for a red, leather bound book on the shelf level to his shoulder. He pulls it towards him and with a puff of cold air, the door swings inwards revealing a stone staircase that curls upwards and out of sight.
“What’s up there?” I ask, knowing that wherever we’re going, it can’t be good.
“You’ll see,” he replies, blocking my exit so that I have no choice but to climb the steep, stone steps.
When we get to the top of the circular stairwell, lit periodically by the soft glow of the sunset pouring through slim rectangular windows, a door greets us. It’s arched at the top, thick metal hinges are fixed into the dark wood and the surface is gnarly and bumpy just like the bark of The Weeping Tree. I have the sudden urge to touch the wood, and reach out pressing my fingers against the surface.
Behind me Jakub steps close, I can feel the warmth of his breath against my cheek as he slides a large metal key into the lock. “Five years ago a storm brought down several trees in the forest. This door was made from one of the ancient oaks,” he explains, turning the key in the lock and pushing open the door. “As was every piece of furniture in this room…”
With his chest against my back, and his hand clasped around my upper arm, he walks me into the room. I draw in a sharp intake of breath at what I’m confronted with.
“No,” I whisper, aware of Leon and Konrad entering the space.
“Yes,” Jakub replies.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Konrad walk over to the huge four poster bed taking up the centre of the room, big enough to sleep several people. He reaches up and removes his mask, chucking it into a woven basket on the floor beneath the window then sits on the mattress, his hand moving over the bedding leisurely. None of that would’ve bothered me had I not seen the four rusty chains hanging from the bed frames from metal rings. At the end of each chain is a leather cuff. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what they’re for.
Konrad catches my eye as he picks up one of the cuffs, fingering the leather almost reverently as Leon approaches the bed. “You are the first woman to enter this space...” Konrad’s voice trails off as he licks his lips.
“I don’t want—”
“You don’t want this?” Leon asks, trailing his hands up the bedpost provocatively. “This is tame in comparison to what’s over there.” He points to the far left of the room at a huge armoire, also made out of wood. “Jakub, may I?” he asks.
“Do it,” Jakub says from behind me.
My throat dries. I don’t want to see what’s in that wardrobe, and before Leon’s even reached it, Jakub leans down, his lips pressing against my ear as his arm wraps around my waist. “You wanted to know what would happen to you if you refused to perform in The Menagerie. Well, Nothing,” he says, gripping my jaw with his hand and forcing me to look at Leon opening the doors of the armoire, “We’ll do everything.”
Leon stands back to reveal a plethora of instruments. My mouth dries out at what I see before me. There are whips and floggers in various coloured leather. Wooden paddles in an assortment of sizes. Mouth gags, blindfolds, lengths of silk, feathers and nipple clamps. There are several different vibrators in all manner of shapes and sizes. One particularly scary looking one is as long and as wide as my forearm.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, all of it shocking, but none more so than the knives fixed to the inside of the doors. I’m vaguely aware of Jakub’s fingers circling my hip as he holds me against him. It’s a comforting gesture, gentle. I don’t trust it for a second.
Leon picks up a knife. His fingers wrap around the leather handle of a particularly sharp-looking blade. It may be only a couple of inches long, but it could do untold damage in the wrong hands.
“We’re all partial to a bit of blood play, aren’t we, Brothers?” Leon says, reaching up and removing his mask. He places it on the bed and Konrad picks it up, chucking it in the basket alongside his mask. “There’s something so erotic about fucking a woman with a knife pressed to the thrumming pulse in her neck. You never really know if you’ll finally lose control and let the blade slit her throat.”
“Amen to that, Brother,” Konrad agrees, getting off the bed and walking over to the armoire. “Though I do love the colour of a woman’s skin when it blooms beneath the stinging blow of a paddle.”
“You’re sick,” I say, unable to hide the mounting fear. “How can anyone find pleasure in pain? How can you?”
“That’s a very one dimensional way to look at the world, Zero. Intense pleasure can be drawn from pain so long as you know what you’re doing,” Konrad counters. “The three of us are experts in walking that fine line.”
“Am I supposed to be impressed?” I counter, swallowing hard as Jakub walks me towards the bed.
“No. Right now you’re reacting just the way we’d expected,” Leon says, pressing the tip of the blade into his thumb, slicing the pad. Blood oozes out of the cut, trickling down his thumb and hand. He holds the blade out to Konrad, who grins and takes it from him. I watch as he cuts his thumb in exactly the same spot.
“Sit,” Jakub demands, twisting my body around and pushing me back onto the bed. I throw my hands out to stop me from falling backwards. Recovering quickly, I move to stand, but Konrad throws Jakub the knife and the blade rushes between us, keeping my arse planted on the bed. Jakub catches it by the handle, a gentle smile pulling up his lips as he removes his mask with his free hand, then turns to face me. It’s clear from the look in his eyes that he wants to cut me.
“Don’t,” I blurt out, holding my hands up defensively and squeezing my eyes shut. My heart pounds in my chest, my throat closes over in fear, but when nothing immediately happens and Leon starts to chuckle, I force myself to look. Jakub holds the blade against his thumb, cutting himself just like Konrad and Leon had. Tipping his head back, there’s a look of pure bliss on his face as blood trickles from the wound. I watch it slide down his thumb and drip from his wrist, tiny droplets spilling onto the skirt of my dress. I’m aware of Konrad and Leon climbing onto the bed behind me, and despite the relative warmth of the room I feel nothing but coldness. Goosebumps break out over my skin. I grit my jaw to stop my teeth from chattering. They can’t know how afraid I am.
Slowly, Jakub lowers his head, meeting my gaze. He lifts the knife and I swallow hard, waiting for him to do what I know he desires.
He wants to cut me, hurt me. He wants to see me bleed.
I maintain eye contact with him, ignoring the fact that Leon and Konrad have moved to sit either side of me on the bed, and steel myself for what’s to come. Only he doesn’t cut me like I expected him to do. Instead, he lifts the knife and slams it into the wooden post before grasping a handful of hair and pulling my head back. Pushing between my parted knees, he leans over and presses his lips against my ear.
“If I wanted to cut you, Nothing, there wouldn’t be anything you could do or say to stop me,” he says, pressing his blooded thumb against the column of my throat and dragging it over the throbbing pulse in my neck. “This room will be our sanctuary. We can be whoever we want to be within the safety of these walls. I hadn’t planned on showing you this space so soon, but as you’re so determined to disobey every command, now that you’re here, you may as well experience a little taste.”
“No!” I cry, jerking against his hold, but Leon and Konrad grip my upper arms, keeping me still.
“This time, I’m asking you not to fight,” he says, sliding his thumb into my mouth. The metallic taste of blood hits me, and I try not to gag. The urge to bite him is strong, but he shakes his head reaching for the knife once more. “Don’t even think about it,” he warns, pulling the knife free and resting it against my throat.
Konrad leans in closer, pressing his bloodied thumb against my cheek. “If I were you, I’d keep very still.”
“Or you could move, and bleed for us,” Leon suggests, swiping his blooded thumb across my clavicle.
I choose to keep still.
Jakub watches me, the intensity of his stare cutting deeper than the knife he holds delicately against my throat. “Suck me clean, Nothing,” he says darkly, the words filled with sexual connotations. “I want to know what I’ve got to look forward to.”
My mouth pools with saliva as he presses his thumb against my tongue, but given I have a knife held against my throat I really have no other choice but to suck. So that’s what I do. I wrap my lips tightly around his thumb, suctioning him into my mouth. More blood weeps from the wound, but I swallow it, never once taking my eyes off him. He tastes like he smells, like a forest after a rainshower, earthy, strangely warm.
“Good girl,” he whispers, pulling his thumb from my mouth and leaving a trail of blood across my lips. Next to me Konrad groans, shifting position. Before I can even protest, his thick thumb is pushed between my lips.
“Heal me with your tongue, Zero,” he says.
It’s an odd thing to say, but then again these men are hardly normal. Still, I hesitate, sensing that Jakub must give his permission first. When he nods his head, I delicately lick the pad of Konrad’s thumb, tasting him. A mixture of blood and woodsmoke fills my mouth. He groans as I lick his thumb, the tip of my tongue sliding along the cut before releasing him.
“Fuck,” he mutters.
Out of the corner of my eye I see him reach for his crotch, adjusting himself, and despite everything they’ve threatened, despite the knife pressed against my throat, a tiny part of me feels a sick sense of satisfaction knowing that I’m turning him on. In this moment I don’t feel weak, I feel powerful. It’s both liberating and unwelcome. Why do these men make me feel this way? I don’t feel differently towards them. I still hate them for what they’ve done, but the woman in me, the one who’s only ever known pity or disgust, feels a sense of pride.
“My turn,” Leon says, edging closer. He presses his nose into my hair, breathing me in as he pushes his thumb between my lips. “I don’t want you to suck, Nought. I want you to bite,” he growls, the sound rumbling up his throat. Internally I smile, because I’m going to do just that. I press my teeth into the fleshy pad of his thumb and bite as hard as I can. This time blood spurts from the cut, filling my mouth with metallic warmth. The sound he makes is one of intense pleasure. It’s feral. Shockingly, my toes curl in my ballet pointes.
“That’s enough,” Jakub snaps and I release Leon’s thumb, swallowing his blood like this is something I do every day. My stomach churns, my throat squeezes. God, these men. I hate them, despise them for all they’ve done, all they intend to do, and yet… There's something primal about this moment that makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life.
What’s wrong with me?
“That wasn’t so difficult, was it?” Jakub points out, easing back the knife and snapping me out of my thoughts. “You obey and we reward you. How would you like to be rewarded?”
“Sleep. I want to sleep,” I reply instantly, heaving out a breath as he stabs the knife back into the bedpost. I need to get away from them. I need to distance myself from these feelings that persist, that I don’t understand or even want. I need a moment to catch my breath. I’ve been running on a few hours of sleep for the past forty-eight hours and I’m exhausted. What little energy I have left is quickly fading, the spike of adrenaline that got me through the past hour or so is leaching from me even as we speak. The lack of sleep and all this stress must be having a psychological effect.
This isn’t me.
“Then that is what you shall have… but first,” he says, lifting my chin with his hand, “I’m going to claim your first kiss.”
Before I’m able to protest, his mouth is pressed against mine in a hard line. He’s unforgiving, unyielding as he grips the back of my neck. I whimper against his mouth, my lips parting at the sound, and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue between them. I open, and he takes.
Then he ravages my mouth. He plunders. He fucks me with his tongue. Konrad and Leon pin my arms, leaving me unable to push him away. I can’t even move my head given his hand is clutching me so tightly.
All I can do is let him kiss me. I’m helpless against these men.
His teeth crash against mine, his tongue probes and searches, swooping into my mouth. This is an explorative kiss as much as an angry one, and I wonder if he can taste his blood on my tongue, his brothers’ blood.
Does it turn him on?
Do I turn him on?
He bites down on my bottom lip, drawing blood, sucking on it before licking the pain away. His fingers don’t soften in my hair with my whimper, they grip tighter.
“Jakub,” Konrad warns, but it’s as though he's in some far away place, not right next to us.
Jakub’s only response is to kiss me harder, to plunder my mouth deeper. His nose smashes against mine as he bends my head back, shoving his body further between my legs and kisses me until I’m gasping for air. This kiss is invasive, as though he’s trespassing on my soul, searching for something.
He obviously doesn't find what he’s looking for because he lets me go with a shove, rearing backwards, his eyes blazing. “I have one question that I’m going to ask you, and I want the truth. Lie to me, and I will allow my brothers to do what they’ve been wanting to do to you since the moment they laid eyes on you. Believe me, sucking their thumbs will be nothing compared to what they’ll make you do. Your throat will be so raw from their cocks you won’t be able to swallow without being reminded of them.”
Leon chuckles as I drag in a panicked breath. “Fuck yes,” he grinds out, lowering his nose to my hair and breathing me in.
“Brother?” Konrad questions, as uncertain of Jakub’s motives as I am.
Jakub refuses to look at him. Instead he cups my cheek, rubbing more blood across my skin, marking me with his affliction. “Before Konrad and I arrived this evening, did Leon touch you intimately?” he asks.
“What the fuck?” Leon’s grip tightens on my arm as fear wraps around my throat like a snake, constricting my airways. Jakub glances at him, narrowing his eyes.
“Be very, very careful how you choose to respond right now,” Jakub warns me, fixing me with his stare. I consider lying but what would be the point? Jakub already knows the answer. Bringing me up here, showing me this room, wasn’t just a warning of what could happen to me should I disobey them again, it was a ploy to reveal the truth. I can see that now. “Well?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Fuck!” Konrad breathes, the tension in the room thickening with every intake of breath. Leon’s grip becomes painful, and I don’t know whether it’s because he’s angry at me for telling the truth or is afraid of the repercussions. Either way, I don’t care. I don’t owe him a thing.
“Take your hands off Nothing,” Jakub orders, cutting his gaze to Leon who drops my arm immediately. I automatically reach for the spot, rubbing my fingers over the tender skin. “You don’t get to fucking touch her again until I say so. Understand me?”
“I understand you,” Leon replies with a terse nod of his head.
“Get out. I’ll deal with you later.”
“You want me to leave?” The note of incredulity in Leon’s voice is hard to miss.
“I want you to get out of my fucking sight!” Jakub roars, all control slipping. I flinch at his wrath, my fingers curling into the bedspread.
Leon doesn’t retaliate. He simply nods, climbs off the bed and leaves the room without a backward glance.
“Brother. Be calm,” Konrad says, trying to reassure him.
“Be calm? That’s twice he’s disobeyed me in the past twenty-four hours. Don’t tell me to be calm! He’s losing control and right now we need to focus. All of us. Take him to the lake. He needs to cool off. I will not let a piece of pussy come between us. No matter how fucking tempting.”
“Fine, but what are you going to do with Zero?” Konrad asks.
“We’re going to have a chat and then I’m taking her to my room.”
“Why your room?”
“Because I don’t trust either of you not to end up in her bed late at night when I’m asleep. My door has a lock and only I have a key. I can control myself around her.”
“I can too,” Konrad counters, his nostrils flaring as he stands.
“Don’t bullshit me, Kon. I know you better than you know yourself. You both need to remember what we discussed. She’s only ours and not just mine on the proviso neither of you lose your heads. We have a business to run. That is our priority. Got it?”
“Understood,” Konrad responds, and with a brief flick of his gaze to me, marches from the room.
The second the door swings shut behind him, Jakub lets out a long breath then reaches for the knife and strides over to the armoire. Wiping the blade on a cloth he picks up from the shelf, he places it back in its sheath that’s tacked to the door.
“If I’m causing so much trouble, why don’t you just let me go?” I ask quietly, certain my question will cause me more pain, but asking it regardless.
“Because it’s too late. There’s no going back now. Since the decision was made to seek our revenge and make you ours, all Konrad and Leon have thought about is what you could give them. They’ve waited a long time for you. I won’t deny them.”
“And what, exactly, am I supposed to give them?”
“Their deepest desires…” his voice trails off as he closes the doors to the armoire, then strides back towards me.
“And that’s to beat me with those instruments, degrade me, control me, fuck me, is that it?”
Jakub laughs, the sound brittle, harsh. “They want far more than that, Nothing. This room is just touching the surface of what they need. This is tame.”
“Tame?” I shiver at the gravity of his words, at the honesty in his eyes. It’s a bitter truth to swallow, and only fuels my need to escape here as soon as the opportunity presents itself. I can’t let any of them get into my head anymore than they already have. These men are master manipulators. Who’s to say that this conversation right now isn’t just another ruse, another way to get me to drop my guard? Right now Jakub and I are having a conversation. It isn’t one-sided, it’s a sharing of information, and it changes the dynamics, somewhat. But I’ve learnt many things from being the sister to a powerful criminal, and one of them is to know your enemy. Study them, learn and adapt. They think they know me, but they have no idea. It’s only a matter of time before another vision presents itself, and when it does, I’ll be ready to use it to my advantage.
“You’ve lived in a world where vanilla sex is the norm,” Jakub continues, oblivious to my internal thoughts. “I’m betting Netflix and chill is about as exciting as it gets in your fantasy world.” He raises a brow and smirks, but I refuse to acknowledge that he’s right. All I’ve ever wanted was to be with someone who loves the true me, watch movies with them and make love. It sounds so pathetic now that he’s called me out. “You care for the dead, so I know that unlike many of the people we come across in our business, you’re one of the good ones. Innocent. Kind. Pure,” he says, looking at me knowingly. “My clients would pay thousands to fuck you just to see your virginal blood on their cocks.”
“I’m not a virgin—” I blurt out.
“Yeah, and I’m not a sociopath,” he interrupts. “Regardless, you present me with quite a predicament. On the one hand, I want my revenge and thus keeping you here is essential. On the other hand, you’re a distraction for my brothers, one I hadn’t considered properly. I underestimated how much they needed you, or rather what you represent. They can both become quite obsessive and single-minded in their needs.”
“You don’t seem too happy about it,” I observe.
“Don’t misunderstand me, Nothing. I’m in no way saying I care enough about you to ensure your safety. I’m merely telling you the cold, hard truth. My focus is on our business and keeping what we have here alive. Their focus right now is on you, and that’s a problem that I need to find a solution to.”
“I have one; let me go.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t do that.” Gripping my arm, he pulls me to my feet, then marches me back downstairs, ending the conversation as abruptly as it started. When we reach what I assume to be his room, Jakub pauses. “Did you want Leon to touch you?” he asks, taking me aback.
“No,” I reply. “Of course I didn’t.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “And yet somehow I don’t believe you.”
“You can believe what you want. I didn’t want his touch, like I don’t want yours now,” I reply through gritted teeth, whilst pointedly staring at his tight grip on my arm.
He frowns, searching my face, not letting me go. “Let me rephrase that. When he touched you, did you like it?”
My chest and cheeks flame, a surge of heat rising up my body at his question. Even though my body is giving me away, I’ll be damned if I admit that there was a part of me, a twisted, fucked-up part, that did. “No,” I say vehemently.
“Another lie,” Jakub murmurs before leaning in close and dipping his head. The heat of his breath feathers over my skin, but it’s the press of his lips against the pulse point in my neck that has shivers tracing down my spine. He licks me, tasting the blood he’d left there earlier.
“Please,” I beg, my fingers curling into the material of my dress as I white-knuckle ride a sudden wave of my emotions that comes out of nowhere. Confusion, despair, hate, rage, lust, they all course through my veins as he drags his lips up the column of my neck and across my jaw before hovering over my mouth.
“Don’t lie to me again, Nothing,” he says softly. “When Leon touched you, you liked it, didn’t you?”
With a heavy chest, and bitter tears falling from my eyes, I give up a truth that hurts me deeply. “Yes,” I whisper, my voice cracking with pain.
“I know,” Jakub replies gently as he rubs the tip of his nose against the bridge of mine. “I know.” Then he plants a gentle kiss, so unexpected, so incredibly fragile against my lips that I let out a fractured sob that tears my heart in two. Drawing back, Jakub leans around me and twists the handle to his bedroom. “Go to sleep. Rest. You’ve earned a few days respite at least. We will not disturb you. I’ll send Nala.”
With that he turns on his heel and leaves me to lick my wounds, the one he and his brothers have so hatefully inflicted on my soul.