The Dancer and the Masks by Bea Paige
Chapter 18
CHRISTY
“Now for dessert,” Konrad says, his blue eyes sharp with want.
The effects of the drug continue to incapacitate me. My limbs feel heavy and my head groggy. Getting away from these men is no longer an option. I simply can’t move.
“Please,” my voice is slurred, my tongue heavy. That inner voice battling with my body’s need to obey. Begging these motherfuckers isn’t something I want to do, but it happens regardless. My physical strength has been overpowered by this drug that I’ve been poisoned with. “W—what have you d—done to me?”
“Thirteen is truly gifted. She has the ability to make any manner of drugs, and all of it using natural ingredients. If you haven’t already guessed, Five’s blade was steeped in something to relax you. There’s no running now, Nothing,” Jakub says, wickedness lacing his voice with poison just like the drug is lacing my veins in the same way.
“How could she?” I mutter, heartbroken by her betrayal. Why had she looked at me the way she did? Like she understood my predicament and wanted to help me, and yet it was her drug that made me feel this way, that’s put me into this vulnerable position. I can’t even try to fight back.
“If she’d been born in the wrong century, there is no doubt that she would’ve been accused of being a witch and hanged from The Weeping Tree for her skill,” he continues, oblivious to my disappointment.
“She’s a witch?” I mumble, spots of light dancing in front of my eyes as I try to make sense of what’s happening.
Konrad stands, looming over me. “Not like the ones you might find in fairy tales, Zero. She’s a healer for want of a better word.”
“A healer?” I laugh, and the sound is bitter. This isn’t healing, this is aiding and abetting monsters who imprison and control, who manipulate and coerce, who hurt people. She’s no better than they are.
“She calls this particular elixir The Quickening,” Leon explains, his thick fingers sliding through my hair, pulling the strands so that my scalp tingles. I feel the weight of his hands, the intention in his movements, and it sends a wave of warmth cascading over my body. It’s not a reaction I want or understand, but it happens regardless. “You may feel heavy, sleepy, relaxed right now,” he continues. “But soon the drug’s true purpose will reveal itself. Be ready, Nought. This is the one and only time we can guarantee that you’ll enjoy what’s about to happen. This is our welcome.”
I almost say that Jakub has already given me that back in his bedroom, but then that would be admitting out loud that I enjoyed it, that a tiny part of me craves that feeling again.
“No! Don’t!” I protest weakly. Forcing my lips to move, I glare at Jakub standing before me. “This isn’t what I want.”
Jakub’s eyes flash with anger. “Even under the influence you are still so argumentative. We are giving you a gift, Nothing. Accept it.”
“Rape isn’t a gift. Touching me without my permission isn’t a damn g—gift!” I stutter, stumbling over my words, trying desperately to force my arm to move so that I can knock away Konrad’s fingers as they trace my rib cage. Instead, a languid feeling rolls over me at his touch, sparking sensations of pleasure that floods my sex. A rush of anger fires up inside my chest. Is this what they mean by the drug’s true purpose? The Quickening makes your body relax until you're unable to control it anymore, then it makes you feel pleasure when you otherwise wouldn’t?
Don’t lie to yourself, you’ve already proven how much you enjoy their touch.
I close that thought down, refusing to acknowledge it. “H—how could she?!” I bite out, forcing the words through heavy lips and a slack jaw, trying in vain to ignore my pulsing clit.
“Thirteen?” Jakub asks, taking my hands in his and pulling me upright. Even that simple touch is like a beacon to my pussy. Heat rushes to my core at the simple contact. I want to snatch my hands away, but can’t even do that.
“Yes,” I spit. It takes immense effort to lift my head and look at him. My torn dress hangs open, and my breasts feel heavy, swollen, as I sit with my legs stretched out on the table in front of me. Jakub glances at my chest, at my peaked nipples before lifting his gaze back to mine. My body feels like a ripe fruit, ready to be plucked, tasted, but inside I feel rotten to the core. None of this is right. None of it is real in the true sense of the word. It’s a lie. If I had all my faculties then there’s no way I’d be reacting this way to their touch. I’d bedisgusted. I would. “How could she?”
“Because we asked her to, because she’s our friend.”
“Friend?” The laughter that leaves my mouth sounds light, carefree, but it wasn’t meant to. The drug turns my hate into smiles and laughter, just like it turns my physical disgust into acceptance and pleasure. Internally, I’m cursing that bitch, Thirteen. Goddamn her. She’s a traitor to the sisterhood, to humanity. How can she willingly be friends with these monsters?
“She understands what we are,” Leon adds, a reverence to his voice that surprises me. I manage to twist my head to look at him, and he meets my gaze with a hard look, making me wonder if I imagined it.
“What, perverted psychos?” I spit out.
Konrad laughs, not in the least bit bothered by my insult. He shucks off his dinner jacket and hangs it over the back of the chair, then rolls up his shirt sleeves, revealing thick forearms, dark hair and protruding veins. My core tightens. “Thirteen knew us before—”
“Before?” I ask, my single-word question a fumble of vowels and consonants. I sound drunk.
“Yes, before we—”
“Kon. Enough!” Jakub warns, his eyes flaring with anger.
His fingers tighten around mine, his thumbs pressing painfully into the back of my hands as he tries to control his outburst and steady me at the same time. Why he even bothers is beyond me. I’d thought I’d seen the tiniest shred of humanity in him before, when we’d been alone together in his room, but I realise now that was just me projecting. I’d held onto the kindness of the boy in my vision, and for a moment allowed that to blur the reality of the man he’s become.
“What? She won’t remember any of this in the morning. What difference does it make?” Konrad counters, sliding off his loafers and climbing up onto the table behind me, placing his legs either side of mine. The width of Konrad’s chest and shoulders make me feel tiny even though I’m not, and when his arms wrap around my stomach, holding me firmly all I can do is let him. I don’t fight it. Even my internal voice quietens, subdued by this drug, his gentle touch, and the lack of pain I usually feel when something is pressed against my ravaged back.
“Regardless, Thirteen’s past is her own. She wouldn’t share our story any more than we would share hers,” Jakub reminds him, removing his mask and laying it on the table. His cheeks are flushed, and little rivets mark his face beneath his cheek bones where the mask has been too tight. I have the sudden, insane urge to touch it. To run my fingers over his skin, to see whether he is in fact human and not a monster disguised as one. Then again, aren’t humans and monsters one and the same? Everyone is capable of monstrous things, there are just some who’re better at hiding their demons than others.
“Your mask,” Leon remarks tightly, jerking his head towards the discarded mask.
Jakub rolls his shoulders, then his head. “Don’t worry, Brother. I’ve given strict instructions that no one is to enter this room on punishment of death.”
Punishment of death?
Fear trickles down my spine, making my body quake. Konrad notices, and his large hand presses against the centre of my chest, warmth seeping into my skin. I wonder if he feels how my heart thunders, how it fights for me, reminding me what this truly is when every other part of my body has been hoodwinked by this drug.
“Your fear is warranted, Zero. Your instincts are entirely correct,” Konrad mutters into my ear knowingly, his warm breath tickling my neck, making goosebumps chase across my skin. “But as much as we are bad men, as much as we want to take from you, use you up for our own gain, that day isn’t today. Soon, but not today.”
“I don’t believe you,” I whisper, swallowing the lump in my throat as his fingers spread out across the centre of my chest, almost touching my nipples but not quite. My body hums with feeling, the heaviness that had hindered my every move, now making way for rolls of pleasure that lap at my senses, confusing me. My internal voice gets quieter and quieter as the wash of feeling and sensation gains strength. “You mean to rape me.”
“Maybe I’m lying. Maybe I’m not. I guess there’s only one way to find out,” Konrad says, his voice sensual, sexy. Despite everything, despite all that they’ve done, all that they plan to do, his voice calls to something deep inside of me, to a part of me I hadn’t known existed until now.
“No!” I whisper. “No.” This is the drug. This isn’t me. It isn’t.
“We like to play with our toys,” Leon continues, reaching up to remove his mask. He shakes his head from side to side, his black hair whipping around his head with the movement. “If you haven’t already guessed, we’re not just about the physical, but the mental too. Fucking your cunt isn’t the only goal we have in mind. Fucking with your emotions, your mental state, your soul, it’s all fair game now that you're ours.”
“I hate you. I will always hate you, and one day… when you least expect it. It won’t be Grim who takes your life—because believe me, she’s coming—it’ll be me!”
Leon throws his head back and laughs. The sound buries itself deep inside of me and settles in my core, the drug twisting my reaction to his cruelty and making my pussy weep for him. “You don’t have it in you, Nought,” he goads, getting in my face, his beautiful features twisting into something so ugly that he needn’t wear a mask to disguise it. He’s already a monster. There’s nothing human left within him.
“Trust me. I do!” I counter, scraping every last ounce of fight in me and hurling it back at him. “I will kill you!”
Leon’s green eyes ripple with excitement and before I know what’s happening, he reaches out and grasps my chin roughly, slamming his mouth against mine. The force of his kiss is so violent that even Konrad sitting behind me is knocked backwards. I’m vaguely aware of the growl ripping out of Konrad’s chest, reverberating into my back, but it’s soon overshadowed by Leon’s tongue forcing its way between my lips as he tastes me. A groan rumbles up his throat as he kisses me like he wants to crawl inside my body and tear me open from the inside out.
It’s all teeth and tongue. Violence and hatred. His fingers bite my skin, the sharpness of his stubble rubbing me raw as he devours my mouth.
Heat floods my chest, burning my insides as my body reacts to his passion. It might be born on the back of violence and hate, but it doesn’t matter to my traitorous pussy because she’s flooding and pulsing. I’ve never been kissed like this before. I’ve never been kissed in a way that rips open my chest, yanks out my heart and pulverises it into a bloody mess. If I could reach for him, and claw at his face to pull him closer, tighter against me, I would. All rational thought, all need to fight him off, to kill him, incinerates in this moment. Something else takes over.
Something dark, devious, twisted and corrupt. With just one kiss this bastard makes a mockery of me. He couldn’t have hurt me any more if he tried. When he pulls back, his plump lips curl up in a sneer.
“Now tell me again how much you want to kill me.”
I’m panting just as much as he is as we stare at one another. I have no words. I have nothing I wish to say to the man who has just kissed me like I’m both his sworn enemy and heavenly match. I hate myself. Him.
With a snort of derision, Leon turns to Jakub. “We always said we’d strip her bare, together. Are you truly going to take that from us after everything we’ve endured?”
For a moment, Jakub’s jaw tightens and I swear I can hear the grinding of his teeth as he considers his brother’s request, remembering what he’s already done. He looks at Konrad behind me then. Finally, he flicks his gaze to me and nods.
“Any actions I take are with you two in mind. Tonight we will strip her completely bare, like we discussed, but neither of you will fuck her until I say so,” Jakub says, ripping his gaze away from me and back to his brothers. It’s a minor reprieve, one I didn’t expect, but I’m not foolish enough to think I’m safe, given the look on Leon’s face.
He grins. “No fucking. Got it.”
“Otherwise we can indulge?” Konrad asks, his fingers swirling over the bare skin of my chest, heating me up. My body shudders under his touch. Fucking me with their dicks isn’t the only way they can hurt me. I don’t even want to know what they have in mind, given their armoire filled with implements that terrify me.
“Within reason,” Jakub agrees, before undoing the necklace and fisting the key in his hand. He walks around the table, sliding his gaze up my bare legs before focusing on the lock. “She’s still intact. I want her kept that way.”
“You mean she’s a virgin?” Konrad asks, surprised.
“Come on, Brother, you must’ve guessed,” Leon says, and I can feel him smiling even though I can’t see his face.
“Yes, she’s a virgin,” Jakub confirms, locking eyes with me.
Konrad buries his face in my hair and breathes in deeply. “She’s made for us.”
“I hate you,” I grind out, despite my toes curling with pleasure as Konrad slides his hand lower, his lips grazing the sensitive skin on my neck. My body rolls with his touch, undulating beneath his palm. I cry out, every nerve ending coming to life, tiny sparks of electricity firing beneath my skin at the barest touch. Even the cool air that circulates around such a large room makes me shudder with intense need. This fucking drug, it’s twisted me up inside.
“And so it begins…” Leon smiles lazily, his palm smoothing up my leg, his fingers gripping and releasing the flesh of my inner thigh as he stakes his claim on me too.
“You’re all bastards!” I feel as though I’m shouting but it comes out as a whimper, there’s no force behind it, only need.
“It’s true, we are,” Konrad agrees, pressing featherlight kisses against my bare neck. “Keep hating us if it makes you feel better. In fact, if you want to survive here I suggest you never stop.”
“She isn’t strong enough. She’ll cave. She’ll lose this spark, this fire. She’ll come to heel just like all the rest,” Jakub remarks coldly, reaching for the lock on my chastity belt and pulling on it so the leather between my legs tightens against my pussy. My core spasms, my clit thrums with the pressure, but I bite down on the cry of pleasure. I swallow it down, bottle it up.
He tugs several times, sending sparks of fury and lust right to my core.
I will not let them take another orgasm from me.
I refuse to give them that.
I won’t let them fool me into thinking this is anything but assault.
Right now my body isn’t my own. This is a synthetic reaction, a chemical misfiring.
My muscles begin to tremble with the effort to hold back, to ignore the growing inferno between my legs. Jakub places the key in the lock, turning. A small click sounds and he pulls at the leather revealing my glistening pussy to them all.
“Fuck,” Konrad groans, his hand sliding towards my wet heat. “Look at her pretty, pink lips. She’s already aroused.”
I close my eyes as he parts my outer lips and gently presses the pad of his finger against my swollen nub. The sensation blinds me for a moment as I jerk against his hand. My body loves the feeling, craves more pressure, but my heart, my soul, they’re like tiny birds frantically flying against the walls of my rib cage, dying to burst free, to escape, to rip at their faces with claws and beaks.
“Look at her. So fucking wet,” Leon growls, his hand squeezing my breast now as he watches his brother finger me, the deftness of Konrad’s touch stoking the beginnings of another orgasm just like that, like it’s as easy as whipping me. Perhaps it is. Perhaps I really was made for them after all.
No! That tiny voice inside my head shouts.
“You’re n—nothing more than thieves. You’re s—stealing something I should only have the right to g—give!” I say out loud, stumbling over the words.
“And it feels so fucking good,” Leon says bending over me, his green eyes cutting a path to my soul as he lowers his lips to my breast and sucks my erect nipple into his mouth. He licks and nibbles, all the while pinning me with his gaze, daring me to object. I let out a whimper as he tugs my nipple between his teeth and smiles up at me, edging this moment in pain.
Deliciouspain.
I shudder. My body’s reaction to their touch taking over the dying embers of my will to fight.
“Did you know that Leon can make a woman come just by playing with her tits? He’s really fucking good at it,” Konrad taunts as Leon proves his brother’s point and moves his hot mouth to my other nipple, capturing the one he’s just taunted with his teeth between his finger and thumb, sending shockwaves of pleasure to my core. When his tongue slides across the mound of my breast and licks at the drying blood from the cut One inflicted, I’m fighting the urge to concede. To just let this happen.
To let them steal an orgasm just like they stole me.
“She’s already succumbing. It’s so fucking easy,” Jakub remarks whilst Konrad continues to finger fuck me, burying his thick finger into my pussy, but stopping just before he breaks through the delicate wall of my virginity. I feel a slight pressure inside of me where he pushes gently against the boundary, testing the thin barrier.
“The Quickening will do that, Brother,” Konrad says, his voice taut with restraint, his body trembling beneath me as he holds back from taking my virginity with his hands.
“I’m not so sure the drug can be blamed for it all,” Jakub responds, cutting a look my way. I know he isn’t talking about right now, he’s talking about earlier. I hadn’t been drugged then. He sounds disappointed, angry even, but it doesn’t stop him from lowering his mouth to my ankle and trailing hot kisses over my skin. His mouth is both ecstasy and anguish. It’s heaven and hell.
“I’ll never succumb,” I bite out, detaching myself from my body's pleasure the same way I can detach myself from the pain.
“You already are,” Leon laughs, sucking my nipple and the flesh of my breast back into his mouth.
“I don’t mean physically,” I bite out, writhing beneath their talented hands and mouth.
“You might steal my pleasure, but that’s it. That’s all. I will fight, every step of the way. Always. Until my last goddamn breath!” My clit pulses but I refuse to pay it attention. Every stroke of Konrad’s finger, every firm grasp and lick from Leon and every kiss Jakub presses against my thighs, assails my senses. I burn for them, because of them. I’m wet even though I should be as dry as sandpaper.
It angers me.
I’m livid.
I’m past the point of fury. Beyond the point of self-preservation.
This is it. Right here and now, I need to take my power back.
But right when I think I might be able to do that, an orgasm rips out of me, taking a scream with it that shatters the air and splinters me into a thousand sharpened pieces. I imagine them raining down over us, cutting these men, slicing them up and shredding them just like they’ve shredded me.
This isn’t pleasure that’s come from a place of care and attention. My orgasm has been coerced, fooled, dragged out of me by men who don’t deserve to bask in it. My body trembles, shaking, utterly at their mercy as I ride the wave, floating on the ebbing tide of my orgasm as it ripples over every inch of skin.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Konrad whispers, still stroking my dripping core, dragging out the orgasm as much as possible.
I don’t answer, I can’t. A heavy fatigue settles over me and any moment now I’m expecting it to pull me under, to make me forget, to leave me vulnerable and at their mercy. God knows what they’ll do to me now that I’m like this. I hear their voices as though far away, capturing words here and there. They’re discussing what to do next. Leon and Konrad argue that I’m ripe for the taking, Jakub protests. Like cowards they want to steal my virginity whilst I’m not awake enough to protect it, and there’s me thinking they want the fight.
Well, fuck them. Fuck that.
“NO!” I roar.
Something inside me shifts, clicking into place. My mouth fills with the sudden, sweet taste of honey, reminding me of Thirteen’s kiss. Her eyes had told me a truth I didn’t understand at the time, but as I lay here weakened by their touch, a sudden, potent, oxygen-stealing inferno rages inside my chest, eviscerating The Quickening’s power over me.
I realise then, with utter clarity of mind, body and soul, that Thirteen had given me something to counter the effects of the drug. The sweet liquid she’d trickled into my mouth with her kiss has finally freed my muscles, my lips and mouth. I can now move without the heavy weight keeping me pinned to the table.
I can fight back.
Courage flares. “Get your motherfucking hands off me, you sick, fucked-up excuse for men!” I scream with every last ounce of disgust and rage I feel, kicking out and landing the heel of my foot on Jakub’s chin. His head snaps back and I see the surprise in his eyes before he stumbles backwards from the force of my rage. I don’t think, I act, and crash my head back against Konrad. He cries out, probably in shock more than pain, but it’s enough for him to release his arms. Without thinking I raise my fist and aim it square at Leon’s cheek, pain radiates from my knuckles all the way up my arm, but I ignore it.
Then I leap off the table and run.
My feet slap against the cold stone as I run blindly towards a shadowed corner of the hall. Behind me The Masks get to their feet and I hear the shock in Leon’s voice. “How the fuck is she awake? The Quickening is supposed to knock her the fuck out after she comes.”
I don’t bother to listen to the response. I need to get out of here.
The first door I come across is locked, but I refuse to give up. I move to the next door, my torn dress flapping out behind me like a boat sail in the wind, but that’s locked too.
Still I run, this room becoming another cage I can’t escape from. I’m aware of The Masks watching me, their greedy eyes devouring my fear. I know this is exciting for them, that I’m feeding into their desires, but that innate need to escape, to get as far away from them as possible won’t allow me to sit back and wait for them to hurt me further, not now that I’m thinking clearly. I need to give myself a fighting chance. I can’t allow myself to give in like I had in Jakub’s bedroom.
Running, I keep trying every door until I’ve made a full circle of the hall. Panting and angry and scared, I press my fists against the first set of doors I came across and start pounding against the wood until my fists are bruised and my voice is hoarse. Tears stream down my face, and I swipe at them not caring that I’m rubbing away the makeup I’d so carefully applied earlier today. Not caring that they’ll be able to see my true face.
Drawing in a deep breath, I realise that’s the only thing I have left. The true me. The ugly scarred back, the port wine birthmark. The strange eyes and fiery red hair and freckles that mark me as different.
I thought that by hiding, I would regain control, power, but that was before I understood what motivated them. If I disgust them, then I may save myself from the worst kind of torture. Sure they could kill me, but at least they won’t steal my virginity. At least I’d be spared the pain and degradation of that. The Masks thrive on beauty. Feed off of it, capture it, contain it. They sell beauty to the highest bidder. It’s what they want. Well, my beauty is fake. It’s a lie.
Ripping off what’s left of my dress, I spit onto the material and use my tears and spit to wipe away as much of the foundation as I can, then discard it before stepping out of the shadows, completely naked.
My head is tipped down slightly as I pad across the floor to where the three of them stand, my hair covering my face in a shroud. I’m shaking so hard with anger that my teeth chatter, adding to the lie. My stance is one of defeat, but that too is a fabrication. Let them think I’ve given up. I want to see the shock on their faces when they finally see who I really am in all my naked glory. They wanted to strip me bare? Well, they’re going to get more than they’d bargained for.
“Have you given up so soon, Nought?” Leon goads, buying into the lie.
“I must say, it was fun whilst it lasted,” Konrad adds, his thick voice as cruel and as sharp as the snap of the leash as he slashes against my bare leg. I barely register the pain.
Jakub steps forward. I know it’s him because I recognise the shoes he wears: expensive leather loafers that kiss the floor lightly as he moves.
“For a moment there, I thought we’d finally met a worthy foe. Alas, jesteś po prostu rozczarowanie, Nic.” He reaches for my hair, fisting it. “You’re just a disappointment, Nothing.”
“Oh, I hope so,” I reply, stoic, strong, unflinching in my determination to reveal my true self as I lift my head and meet his gaze.