The Dancer and the Masks by Bea Paige

Chapter 24

JAKUB

Dawn breaks through the thick canopy above my head, rays of sunlight heating up the mossy, damp earth I’m lying on as insects and wildlife come to life around me. A mosquito lands on my forearm, puncturing a slither of skin that isn’t covered in a thick layer of mud. I don’t flick it away, content to watch it feed from me as I slowly wake up, revelling in the aches and pains that I feel from hours spent roaming the forest.

Once the mosquito has drunk its fill and flies away, leaving a tiny droplet of blood on my skin, I push up onto my hands and knees. My fingers curl into the dirt as I lift my head and breathe in deeply, marvelling at the way this place, of all places, is where I go to exorcise my demons.

Once upon a time, I hated this forest.

I hated the tiny cabin situated right in the heart of it. The one that still stands. The one that has my blood encrusted in its walls.

I hated the smell of earth and mud.

I hated the river that runs through it, and the twisted trees that loom overhead.

Now I want to be here.

It’s no longer the place my father had to drag me kicking and screaming as a boy so he could teach me how to be a man.

Now it’s my sanctuary.

After cutting off One five years ago I needed an outlet. I needed somewhere to shed my emotions and rid myself of weakness. My father was right to be persistent with his lessons. He understood that what I needed was to be reminded of my base needs, my animal instinct, my need to fight.

Fuck emotion.

Fuck feelings that mess with your head.

Fuck love.

Fuck that most of all.

I came here to deal with my unwanted emotions, to purge them from my system because even now, even after everything my father taught me, they still fucking haunt me. It’s been a fight I’ve had to battle every fucking day of my life.

And now she’s here, it’s only gotten worse…

Fuck that. Screw her.

I won’t allow her in my head a second longer.

Gritting my teeth, I stand, the muscles in my legs trembling from the exertion. I’m naked, covered head to toe in mud, my skin cut up from the countless times I’ve caught myself on low-hanging branches and prickly shrubs as I’ve run through the forest trying to free myself of this excess energy, these unwanted feelings.

The only thing I’m wearing is my smartwatch and that’s telling me I need to get back to the castle because later today I have a business meeting to attend to in the city. Which is just as well, because, despite feeling more myself, I still need the distraction.

Guilt, anger, motherfucking lust, it all battles for my attention and whilst I might’ve rid myself of the tiny scrap of empathy I was beginning to feel because of her, those other feelings stubbornly remain.

“FUCKKKKKKKKK!” I tip my head back and roar into the forest, sending ravens up into the air, squawking and cawing over my sudden outburst.

She came all over my face and I liked it. I took her to my room of curiosities then fucked her mouth with my dick.

Then I hid what I did from my brothers.

I LIED to them.

And you lied to her too, a tiny voice inside my head says.

“Shut the fuck up!” I shout, slapping myself so hard that I stumble sideways. That little voice inside my head, the one that’s been taunting me ever since we took her is determined to make me crack.

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

I can’t. Look at yourself. Look at what you’ve become.

I’m a Mask. I’m Jakub-fucking-Brov.

You’re your father’s son, but you don’t have to be.

“I want to be.”

You don’t.

Fisting my hands I headtowards the nearest tree, yank at a low-hanging branch and rip it away from the trunk, then I hit myself across the thigh as hard as I can with it.

The pain registers, but it’s not enough.

You remembered Star. You told her about Star. That means something.

“Zamknij się! SHUT UP!” I shout, hitting myself again and again, not caring that I’m running low on reserves, that I’m a step away from passing the fuck out. I don’t care so long as it sets me free from this voice, from these feelings I don’t want or need.

He killed Star and he beat you.

My throat tightens at the memory of that day when my father shot Star in front of me. Tears burn the back of my eyes but I refuse to feel the pain.

She was just a dog. She was nothing.

She was everything.

“Nie! No!”

I hit myself again.

He hurt you, but you don’t want to hurt her, do you?

I hit myself harder, dropping to my knees from the force, panting. My chest heaves, my face is wet with tears as I let go of the branch. “I don’t give a fuck about her!” I shout, bashing my fist against the tree trunk over and over again, not caring that my fists become torn and bloody.

You’re lying. You want her.

I push the top of my head against the rough bark of the trunk and press my eyes shut, drawing in deep breaths, trying to temper the raging emotions within me. It’s been almost two whole days since I came into the forest and it’s never taken me this long to get my feelings under control.

Never.

I need to figure out how to stop this. I haven’t become the man I am today so that a woman like her can bring me to my goddamn knees. My watch vibrates again, reminding me that my time is up. I have business to attend to. I have to go.

But first…

Opening my eyes, I stare at my cock. It’s thick and hard, and like the rest of me covered in mud.

I’ve been hard since I fucking left her with Thirteen.

Hard. Engorged. In fucking pain.

I’ve leaked pre-cum every time I’ve imagined the taste of her pussy. My cock jerks, and my balls tingle as I remember how her birthmark darkened in shame when she had sucked me off.

You want her, my inner voice reminds me.

“Yes, I want her,” I hiss, fisting my cock roughly. “Of course I want her! She’s a piece of ass. Nothing more.”

A piece of ass you actually want to fuck.

“Shut the fuck up!”

You feel things… You don’t want to, but you do.

I yank at my cock, ignoring the voice and instead wank myself off imaging her tied to our bed, spread open and covered in our cum. I imagine Konrad using a paddle on her bare arse and Leon taking a blade to her scarred skin. I imagine my teeth making little indents in her rounded tits and her pussy weeping for us. I imagine her screaming in pain, in ecstasy. I imagine her tears, her sobs, her cries for us to stop, to keep going. I imagine cutting my initials into her skin with the knife I keep in the room of curiosities, eternally marking her.

You won’t hurt her. You won’t do it.

Gripping my dick tighter I push that voice away and imagine fisting her hair as I fuck her from behind. I imagine my brothers watching me take her virginity with jealousy in their eyes, because it is mine. Mój.

Her virginity is fucking mine.

See, she’s already getting between you.

“No!” I grind out, battling with my conscience.

You gave her the chastity belt to save her from Leon and Konrad. You gave Thirteen the key to save her from yourself. You didn’t tell your brothers about what you did because you knew they’d want the same, except they’d be rougher with her. You know that.

YOU CARE.

“I don’t fucking care!” I shout, quickening my pace, tightening my grip as I grab my balls with my free hand and grit my teeth. I force the voice out of my head and try to recapture the fantasy I’d conjured, because it does turn me on. I do want to fuck her until she screams, I do want to share her with my brothers. I want to mark her. I want to see her marked by them. I want her whimpers. I want her kisses and her delicate flesh fluttering around my cock. I want to press my hand against her birthmark. I want to kiss her flaws and rub my cock over her scarred skin.

I. Want. It. All.

“Fucckkkkkk!” I grind out, my eyes rolling, my head falling back as the tendons in my neck flex with my orgasm. I come thinking about how much I want it all. How much I want her and how fucking wrong that is.

Drawing myself up on unsteady legs, my nostrils flare as I draw in a deep breath, coming to the only conclusion I can in the moment. I need to tell my brothers what I did. I need to tell them the truth.

No! My inner voice argues. They’ll hurt her.

“Yes,” I reply, feeling stronger for it. “I’m going to even the score. Konrad and Leon can have her too. I won’t stop them.”

Twisting on my feet, I stride back towards the castle, that voice in my head getting quieter and quieter the nearer I get to my home. By the time I reach our quarters I’m back to my old self, my dark heart safely tucked inside the thick bars of its cage.