Tempted Hero by Ella Miles

Beckett

I kissedher instead of killing her. I’m so fucked.

I’ve now had two chances to kill her—in the woods and in her hospital room. I passed them both by.

At the very least, I could have questioned her further. I should have tortured her until she admitted the truth.

But all I could think was how could I have shot her? How could I have shot her in the same arm I lost? How could I have risked that loss? How could I have risked her life?

I don’t regret often, but I regret shooting her—hurting her. I’m a monster unworthy of happiness, joy, love. I deserve to be miserable. The universe has told me that time and time again. Ri, Odette, before…

I’m a monster, a villain, a creature so tormented, banned from love. I have to stop looking for it. It’s the only way to stop hurting everyone around me.

I press the button on the elevator that leads to Caius’s apartment in the city. When the doors slide open, I step inside, thankful that no one else is on the elevator. But then I’d be surprised to see anyone here at three in the morning.

My shoulders slump against the wall, and my eyes fall heavy until they finally close. All I can picture is her—Ri. Her peacefully lying asleep in the hospital bed, her hair swept across the pillow, her arm heavily bandaged, and her breathing so slow and steady. I could have watched her sleep for hours, but it was complete torture.

My heart has never beat so fast; my lungs have never worked so hard for breath; my eyes have never slowed so much, afraid that I would miss a single moment. I was terrified that if I closed my eyes, she’d drift away, and it’d all be my fault.

But then the images of her slicing into Odette’s flesh flood out the memories of Ri lying broken in the hospital bed.

Why did you have to hurt her, Ri? Did your father threaten to kill you if you didn’t? Are you a trained assassin? Were you happy to do your father’s bidding? Were you jealous that I married her instead of you?

I can’t make sense of Ri’s actions. And I can’t even start to make sense of my feelings for her. If you had told me that when I found Odette’s killer that I would hesitate to get retribution, I would have called you insane.

I should have never stuck my dick in her. That has to be it. I’m confusing my lust with actual feelings for her. I just need a little more time and space. She needs to heal, so I’ll stop looking at her like she’s a sick puppy.

The elevator doors open, and I step out, trying to shake any lingering emotions.

I run my tongue over my bottom lip without thinking, and my brain turns to our kiss.

That damn kiss.

I shouldn’t have kissed her. Her pheromones must be playing with my mind, making me feel things that aren’t there.

Think about how she stole your gun. How she pressed it into your chest. How she threatened to kill you for not telling her why you shot her.

I groan as my cock hardens in my pants just thinking about her holding a gun. Of course, her threatening me turns me on.

I’m so fucked up. She’s my villain, and I’m hers. We should hate each other and want to destroy each other, not fuck each other.

I open the door to the apartment. I just want a fair fight; that’s why I’ll wait for Ri to heal first, then I’ll kill her.

Gage is sitting at his computer in the dining room when I walk in. I assume the others are already in bed asleep.

“How is she?” I ask, even though I just left her less than twenty minutes ago.

“Telling the nurses and doctors she’s fine and they can release her,” Gage says.

I grin at that as I round the table and stare at the computer screen. One of the nurses is trying to convince her to put the IV back in, but Ri is refusing.

Then Leighton comes in and she stares at him warily.

He smiles warmly at her as he approaches her bed. It takes everything inside me not to run back over there, kick his ass, and drag her back here.

Caius joins us, looking like death. His shoulder is stitched up as he walks in only wearing sweatpants, tearing Gage’s and my attention from the screen to him.

“My father’s dead,” Caius says, his eyes wide like he can’t believe the words leaving his mouth.

Gage jumps up from the computer and runs to Caius. “You okay?”

Caius nods, but Gage pulls him in for a hug anyway.

Caius doesn’t return his hug. He just stands frozen. He’s dealt with so much loss lately. I don’t know how he hasn’t cracked, but he hasn’t.

“Lennox, Hayes,” Gage yells down the hallways as he releases Caius.

Lennox jogs down the hallway first in just his boxers. He takes one look at the situation then says, “Fuck, I’m sorry.”

He hugs Caius quickly before Hayes makes it down the hallway wearing sweatpants.

Lennox walks to him. “Get dressed. Monroe just died.”

Hayes runs his hand through his messy long hair. “Jesus, can today get any worse?”

“Yes, it can,” I say, because it always can. If I told them about Ri, it would get a lot worse.

They both walk back down the hallway to get dressed, while I finally come to my senses.

“So what happens next?” I ask Gage, not sure that Caius is stable enough to answer. He just lost his father, and he’s dealing with a lot of blood loss.

“You have to finish your initiation, so no one else tries to challenge you for leadership,” Gage says.

“Don’t look at me, I’m done challenging him. You have my full support,” Caius says, rubbing his arm and trying to stretch it.

“Do you want someone to take you to the hospital to say goodbye?” I ask Caius.

“No, I knew this was coming. I already said my goodbyes. I want to be at initiation to show my support for you to help with the transition. That’s what Dad would have wanted,” Caius says.

Lennox returns with a shirt and pants on and a shirt for Caius, which he helps him into.

“So the final part of initiation will happen tomorrow?” I ask.

“No, now. We need to get to the complex ASAP,” Caius answers.

“But I thought the initiation wouldn’t be final until after I got retribution for Odette?” I ask.

Caius stares straight at me, like he knows something I don’t. Like he can see through me. Like he knows the truth that I’m hiding.

“Gage found out who killed Odette,” he says.