Expecting the SEAL’s Baby by Katie Knight

Seven

“Which bed do you want?” Jeremy said when they entered the motel room.

That had been a very rational discussion with both of them insisting that they were adults and could share a room—it would be more secure, not to mention cheaper. Neither of them brought up the night they’d spent together, but it had been on Gina’s mind. It might be awkward being in such close quarters with him when she really needed some time to herself.

“I’ll take this one,” she said, putting her bag down on the one closer to the bathroom. In case she was sick, it would be a shorter trip.

“Works for me.” Jeremy placed his duffel on the luggage stand and unzipped it. “How about dinner? Do you want to go out?”

“I’m kind of tired,” she said, seeing her opportunity for a few minutes of solitude. “Why don’t you go grab us something? I saw a place down the street that advertised takeout. Do you think your Spanish is up to it?”

“I’ll manage.” He shot her a grin. “Be back soon.”

As soon as he left the room, she drained the bottle of water she’d been drinking since leaving the store. She hoped the extra fluid would help her pee on the stick and get this over with. She wasn’t likely to get a better opportunity. Reaching in the bottom of her shoulder bag, she retrieved the pregnancy test and went to the bathroom, locking herself in.

She took a cursory glance at the directions before ripping the package open.

“It’ll be fine,” she said aloud and took the test. After peeing on the stick, she washed her hands and sat down on the bathtub rim to wait the two minutes for results. She set the timer on her phone and kept her focus on that, not the test itself.

As she watched the seconds tick down, questions barraged her. What if it was positive? What if she was going to have a baby? She’d imagined herself with kids someday, but not like this. Like most women, she’d expected to be married or at least in a stable relationship. She and Jeremy were friendly, but she’d never chose him to be the father of her child. He wasn’t the type to settle down.

She thought of her parents’ marriage. Her father’s long absences, his inability to stay faithful, the misery of the fights she’d overheard. It had all been horrible until her mother had finally separated from him when Gina was eight. After that, though, he’d sometimes claim that he wanted to reconcile and they’d all try again, but he was never serious about committing to her mother or the family. It was a miserable cycle.

Fortunately, that had ended when Gina was twelve. She felt a twinge of guilt again at the memory of what she’d done as a preteen. Her father had left a long message on the answering machine asking to come back and promising to be a better father and husband. Gina had listened to it twice and hit the delete button before her mother had the chance to hear it.

Her mother had survived and prospered without him. She’d worked hard to raise her children on her own—and then later, with her new husband’s help—and had taught Gina a ton about dedication and independence. Lessons that Gina had learned, along with another lesson, beat into her head when she was a teenager. She sighed, her eyes on the phone as it counted down from thirty seconds.

Her mother’s number one piece of dating advice had been to not get involved with a military man. It had nearly broken her mother’s heart when Blake joined the Navy out of high school. Of course, Blake had proven himself better than their father because he knew his limitations and was never serious about women. Never. And neither was Jeremy.

Gina sighed again as the timer sounded. She reached for the pregnancy test. Two lines stood out clearly in the window, and she knew what that meant.

Positive.

Crap.

Okay, so she was pregnant with Jeremy’s baby. She sucked in a breath. She could manage this, she just needed to think. She stood on shaky legs, gripping the edge of the sink, and looked at her reflection in the mirror as she struggled to get her emotions under control. Be practical, she told herself. You can handle this.

First things first, Jeremy couldn’t know yet—which meant she couldn’t let him find the test. She placed the test and box into the bag from the store, stuffed it into the trash can, and left the bathroom.

Thankful that Jeremy hadn’t returned yet, Gina tried to unpack, laying out the items that she’d need for the night and morning, but she was still in a daze. She was pregnant with Jeremy’s baby. The sound of the key in the lock gave her a few seconds warning before Jeremy entered. She glanced at him, unable to even greet him. Their lives had changed, and he didn’t even know it. Somehow, someday, she’d figure out how to tell him. But not today.

“Smells good,” she managed to say after he spread the food out on the top of the dresser.

“I got a variety,” Jeremy said. “You pick first. I’ll eat anything and I’m hungry as a horse.”

Gina selected chicken and peppers wrapped in a tortilla with a side of rice and sat on the edge of the bed to eat it. The food should have been familiar, comforting, but it tasted like sawdust in her mouth. They talked a little while they ate, but Gina was struggling to focus on the conversation.

“I thought we’d leave early tomorrow,” Jeremy said when he’d finished eating and was cleaning up. “I want to make the most of the daylight hours since the jungle is dark at night. That okay with you?”

“Yeah, fine,” she said, barely aware of what he’d said.

“Good. I can’t promise you that you’ll have a bed to sleep in for the next several nights. We’re going to face some challenges, but if we’re right about this being the location, we’ll get to Blake within a few days. The tough part is going to be getting him free, but I’ll come up with a plan when we see what the situation looks like.”

“Sure.” She picked at the rice in the container, unable to eat much. With a sigh, she stood up and put it in the garbage.

“Are you still feeling sick from the flight?” His voice was full of concern, making her feel guilty about deceiving him. “You ate almost nothing.”

“I’m just tired. That’s all.” She was tired, another sign of early pregnancy, but the bigger problem was that she couldn’t stop thinking about having a baby. She should tell Jeremy. He deserved that, but she just couldn’t. Not yet. She needed more time. As soon as she got her own feelings under control, she would share the news with him. She promised herself that—and mentally started bracing herself for his reaction. She was sure he never intended to have children.

Well, he wouldn’t have to be part of the child’s life if he didn’t want to. Her mother had raised two kids on her own. Gina could, too, if she chose to. The problem was Gina didn’t know what her choice concerning the baby would be. Raising a child alone was challenging. She could give the child up for adoption. Lots of couples wanted newborns. It would be easily arranged, but then the thought of never knowing her child cut through her. She rubbed a hand over her aching heart.

She didn’t know what she wanted and how she felt. Until she did, she couldn’t tell Jeremy.

* * *

Jeremy wasn’t convinced that Gina was okay. But if she wasn’t, why not be honest about it? She seemed closed off, almost secretive, which was unlike her. Was she regretting coming on the mission?

No, that didn’t fit in with who she was. Maybe she was just tired as she said. A good night’s sleep, and they’d hit the ground running in the morning. He’d wait until they were underway to share the new intel he’d received from Percy.

Jeremy had been pleased to get the message from his teammate. Mason had filled Percy in on what they’d figured out about the gun smugglers in Colombia. Percy had checked with some of his sources and discovered that the smugglers had several possible bases in the jungle. He’d passed that info on to Jeremy and sent through more detailed satellite images of the possible locations where Blake might be held. Jeremy planned to start by checking those out.

“I think I’ll watch some television and get to bed early,” Gina said after fussing with her luggage for a few minutes.

“I’m going to shave and get a shower tonight to save time in the morning.” It was a habit he’d formed on previous missions. And he needed a minute to himself to figure out her mood.

He went in the bathroom, lathered up his face, and began shaving. He was almost done when the razor slipped from his fingers, bounced off the sink’s edge, and landed in the trash can with enough force to knock the can over and spill its contents onto the floor.

Muttering to himself, he bent to get his razor and stuff the trash back in the can when he saw something that pulled him up short. His Spanish wasn’t on par with Gina’s, but the line drawing on the box of a woman cradling a pregnant belly was pretty clear. And then he saw the test stick with two parallel lines showing. He’d seen enough ads on television to know that meant positive. Someone was pregnant.

Housekeeping must have missed emptying the trash after a previous guest. He started stuffing it all back in the can when it hit him that the test could be Gina’s.

No, it couldn’t be. But…His mind went back over the day. She’d been ill on the plane, and then they’d split up at the store, giving her time to purchase the test, and she could have taken it while he was out getting dinner. Was she…? Could she be…?

Well, he wasn’t going to stand around wondering.

He opened the bathroom door to find Gina was reclined on the bed with the remote control in her hand. He waited until she saw him and then silently held up the pregnancy test.

“Housekeeping didn’t do a very good job of cleaning,” he said as her eyes went wide with shock. She clicked off the television and swung her feet to the floor, standing to face him. “Unless…this is yours?”

Slowly she nodded, not looking at him as she seemed to gather her strength to speak. After a minute, she rasped out, “It is.”

Okay, not what he expected to happen that day. His mind didn’t know where to go first. After a few seconds, it lighted on the obvious question. “When were you planning to tell me?” He assumed the baby was his. He doubted that she’d been with anyone else in recent weeks—not with her brother’s situation hanging over her head.

“I don’t know,” she said, keeping her focus on the floor at her feet.

“You were going to tell me?” he prompted.

“Of course.” Her hands dug into her thighs. “I just needed some time to process.”

“You need to go home.” He couldn’t have her going into the jungle with him pregnant. That wouldn’t be good for her or the baby.

“Why?” she demanded, looking at him now.

“You’re pregnant.” Wasn’t that obvious?

“That doesn’t mean that I’m incapacitated. Pregnant women continue to maintain their lifestyles, their exercise regimes, their work all the way into the third trimester—which I’m nowhere near,” her voice rose. “I’m not going to sit around for months on the couch eating bonbons.”

“Searching through the jungle isn’t a normal activity. This is a rescue mission, not a jog. We’ll find you a flight in the morning.” He’d do this mission solo, as he’d wanted to from the beginning. He’d been reluctant to put her at risk before, and now, he couldn’t consider it.

“I’m not leaving.” She stood up then and strode toward him. “I came along for a reason, and that hasn’t changed. Together, we’ll be more successful. You know that.”

“Gina, be reasonable.” Couldn’t she see the dangers?

“I am being reasonable,” she insisted. “I’m fine. I can do this. And I swear, Jeremy, I won’t go home. I’ll strike out on my own to find Blake if you leave me no choice.”

She would, too. Son of a bitch. He was in a bind. In so many ways. He took in a deep breath, trying to mentally get a handle on the situation. He supposed that taking her with him was one way of keeping her and their baby safe. Their baby. That didn’t seem real, but it was.

“What are you going to do about the baby?” he asked.

“I’m not sure.” She rubbed a hand over her stomach. “Raising a child by myself is daunting. My mom did it, though—with two kids. I could follow her example, plus I’d have her help and support. I know you’re in no position to suddenly commit to being a father.”

Why would she say that? He narrowed his eyes at her. And then he remembered the stories of her and Blake’s father. He’d been in the military and a complete shit from what Blake had told him. Was she judging Jeremy based on what her father had been? Probably.

“I can do it alone,” she continued. “I won’t need anything from you, so you don’t have to worry about that.” She made it sound like she planned to keep the baby. He was good with that decision but didn’t like her assumptions about his role. Those hurt.

Admittedly, he hadn’t grown up in the most functional of families. His parents had seen him as an inconvenience at best and a liability at worst, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t willing to try being a father. And yet, it seemed that she wasn’t giving him a choice or a chance.

“You let me know what you decide to do,” he said, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice. He returned to the bathroom and took a long shower, struggling to come to terms with what had just happened. He’d found out that he was going to be a father and been dismissed as one just as rapidly.

He guessed that was nothing new. Those who should have cared about him the most never had. It was why he’d committed to the single lifestyle. Only in the SEALs had he found acceptance for who he was. His family had never given him that, and it seemed neither would Gina.

He’d gotten used to the hurt over the years, but just now, it all felt fresh and stinging like an open cut again. He tried to shrug it off, but he couldn’t. When he finished in the bathroom, he went past Gina without making eye contact and got into his bed. He turned his back on her, hoping that sleep would come, but knowing it wouldn’t.