Love, Comment, Subscribe by Cathy Yardley
CHAPTER 16
Lily had spent an hour pacing. She’d put up her own video—a positive one on a new set of nail colors that YouTuber Rainbowslicker had developed and that she’d totally loved—and was proud of the results. Still, she knew Maria would tell her that it wasn’t original enough. That was why she’d gone to Tobin in the first place. She was trying new, exciting things . . . or so she thought.
Now, she couldn’t help but feel like she’d made a horrible, stupid mistake.
The idea of doing collabs with Tobin had been a mistake born of desperation, and now it was biting her in the ass. She was too nervous to even look at her stats, which was unheard of for her. She just needed to pull the plug before things got any worse. No more videos . . . she was done.
Her phone signaled her that he was video calling, and she answered. “Hey, Tobin,” she said in a rush. “Listen, I don’t want to keep you. I just wanted to say that, um, I’ve thought about it, and I don’t think doing any more videos together is a good idea.”
“Okay, Lily, just calm down. It’s not a big deal.”
Unfortunately, he chose the two worst words on the planet if he actually expected her to calm down. She’d had a much worse temper when she was younger, and the words calm down—especially when wielded by a man—tended to engender the opposite reaction. “Really? Calm down. Just like that.” She rolled her eyes, knowing he could see it, and she let her voice drip with sarcasm. “What a brilliant idea! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. Just calm down! Man, you should write a frickin’ book!”
He sighed. “Let me try this again,” he said, his voice cautious. “What, exactly, is upsetting you?”
“Besides looking like a total wimp on your channel?” she said, her voice continuing to pitch higher and louder. “Good grief! Look at the comments on your video, Tobin. This was a stupid idea. You made me look like a complete fool, and now it feels like hundreds of thousands of people are laughing at me!”
She felt her eyes sting with tears, and she knuckled them away, embarrassed to be showing even this much emotion in front of Tobin. Now, instead of irritation and frustration, his expression shifted to something even worse: pity, and what she had to interpret as condescension. And like hell did she need Tobin Bui looking down on her, even if he had done her a favor by collaborating with her. He could take his pity, and his millions of viewers, and shove them directly up his ass.
He sighed. “What kind of comments?”
She blinked. “Did you really not see?”
“I’ve been at my parents’ house, Lils,” he reminded her. “And I don’t check the comments religiously. Usually too busy brainstorming the next idea or doing social media or cross promo on other platforms.”
His matter-of-fact tone stopped her short. It was a surprise. “Well,” she said, “there are the comments laughing at me, saying it was hysterical.”
“It was hysterical,” he pointed out.
“And mean spirited.”
“It was a surprise, a prank. That’s how they work,” Tobin said with almost exaggerated patience. “And I already promised I won’t do it again. So why not keep doing videos? Just a few. I feel like we’re on to something here.”
She blinked. He did? “Why in the world would you think that?”
She could tell that he was looking at another monitor—he must have had Skype on the one he’d called her from and YouTube on the other. “Okay, I am genuinely sorry about these,” he said.
“Which ones?” she asked. She’d opened up the video about five minutes after she got home from the gym—she’d opted not to have mimosa brunch with Mikki because she was too freaked out—and then five minutes after she opened the video, she quickly closed it. Now, she opened her own computer, calling up the video and starting to scroll.
She saw some of the comments she’d originally viewed, ones that said that it was epic, and hysterical, and LMAO. Now that she had a little distance, she could see why Tobin thought she was overreacting. Not that she’d admit he was right quite yet, but she felt herself calm. At least, until the next batch of comments.
SHOW ME YOUR TITS.
WHO’S THE HOT NOOB?
WHAT IS THIS BITCH DOING ON THIS CHANNEL?
Her heart sank. “Now I definitely don’t think we should do any more collabs,” she said firmly, her stomach roiling.
“I’ll delete those comments.” Tobin’s voice was harsh, rough with anger. “That’s bullshit, and my viewers should know better. If they don’t, they can fuck off and watch somebody else.”
She didn’t know why she felt startled. Tobin could be annoying—hell, he was usually annoying. But he also wasn’t generally sexist, and he was . . . well, goofy. To her knowledge, he’d never cussed at her, nor had he ever referred to women in misogynistic terms. The fact that he’d stand up for her and refuse to allow his viewership to treat her poorly, to slap back at misogynistic speech and risk his own viewership . . .
It was a tiny bit hot.
She took a deep breath. “I don’t . . .”
“Now, here are some good comments too,” he pointed out, and she scrolled to try to see what he was viewing. “Look. See? WonderYonder75401’s comment.”
She glanced down, then snickered.
Goofy scaring a beauty noob by fooling her into playing a horror game that she thinks is a dating sim: funny.
Watching said beauty noob beat the ever-loving shit out of him with a pillow: hysterical.
She grinned. Well, at least that had gone over well.
“And look below that,” Tobin said, his grin widening. “We’re getting shipped.”
“What?” She rolled her trackball, scrolling down in the comments.
SO CUTE! I TOTALLY SHIP THEM!
THE BANTER. I CAN’T EVEN WITH THESE TWO.
OKAY, WHO THINKS THEY’RE HOOKING UP? BECAUSE THEIR CHEMISTRY IS RIDICULOUS.
And, finally: JESUS, GET A ROOM.
She cleared her throat. “That’s . . . interesting.”
“That’s viewership,” he pointed out. “Not all my viewers are douchebros. Gamers attract guys, girls, nonbinary people . . . I’ve got a wide spectrum of followers. A lot of them are here for the funny stuff, and I think we provided that.”
“The thing is,” she said, “I . . . damn it. I’m supposed to be more original. I’m trying to move outside of the usual beauty-product reviews and tutorials. But I don’t know if your stuff will work for me. People watch my channel to find out how to look . . . you know. Perfect. And my video with you just made me look like an idiot.”
“Nobody’s asking you to turn EverLily into GoofyBui,” he said, and she couldn’t believe it, but his deep voice was comforting, supportive. She blinked in surprise. He wasn’t wearing his ever-present smirk, either. He seemed thoughtful, earnest.
She was a little freaked out by it, to be honest.
“Just think about what you do best, what you like—and then think about what you could do with me,” he said, then winked. “I promise I’ll be a willing subject. You were a good sport—it’s the least I can do.”
She smiled back, feeling oddly shy. Which was stupid. She had known this guy for literally most of her life, and been his frenemy for at least three-quarters of that time. Why would she be shy?
GET A ROOM.
She sighed. “Okay. I’ll, erm, come up with something.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“Can you come up on Tuesday?”
He blinked. “Come up? To LA?”
Now it was her turn to smirk. “Yeah,” she pointed out. “Remember? Your videos in your setup, at your house . . . my videos at mine. And yeah, we’ll probably practice.”
He groaned, covering his face. “Lils, you’re killing me.”
“Cry me a river,” she shot back, then laughed. “I will come up with something sufficiently torturous.”
“Like drag?” he said. “Because I have to warn you: I’ve done that, for my channel. I looked amazing.” He paused. “If somewhat stocky. And I tripped on my heels. Actually, that might not be a bad idea at all.”
She sighed. She’d toyed with the idea, but of course he’d done it. Was there any idea that he hadn’t done?
“It’ll be a surprise,” she said. “See you on Tuesday.”
She hung up, then looked around her apartment. It was now Sunday evening. What the hell was she going to do with a half-crazed gamer who did sketch comedy? How was she supposed to be original in the face of that? Especially while being true to her own brand and her own skill set?
It took hours. She brainstormed, looked at videos. In sheer desperation, she started flipping through TV channels while simultaneously searching Reddit. She needed some kind of inspiration. This was what Tobin was supposed to be helping her with. Instead, she felt challenged . . . and like she was falling short.
She looked up to find Queer Eye on. She watched with half her attention. She enjoyed the show, loved the heart and emotion of it, but she had too much on her plate to really give it the focus it needed.
Then, suddenly, it hit her like a lightning bolt.
She knew exactly what she’d do with Tobin. And it was going to work.