Sugar and Spice by Kat Baxter
Chapter 5
Isabel
I stare at the sleeping giant one more time, then sneak out the door. Yes, it’s my hotel room, but the magazine has it booked for another night. I just know that I need to leave. I’ve already talked to the Le CRV people and my obligations here have been met. The rest of my paid trip was just for my pleasure and entertainment.
But I can’t stay. If I stay, I’ll sleep with Sam again and then I’ll just want to keep doing that. He’s amazing and if I spend one more night in his arms I’ll catch feelings. And I can’t afford for that to happen.
I had my one shot at love and I screwed it up. So I slink home, like a coward, regrets swirling around me thicker than the New York traffic.
Matt died before I ever got the chance to tell him that I loved him. That’s on me. And now my fate is sealed because no one finds their soulmate twice in one lifetime.
The entire flight home I stare at the pictures from our sight-seeing day. I think I’m smiling until one fat tear drops onto my hand.
“Is that your fellow?” the elderly lady in the seat next to me asks.
I glance over at her. “No, not really. He’s great though.”
“That is a man in love.” She taps a weathered finger on my phone screen. “Do you see how he’s looking at you?”
This is one of the pictures from the top of the Empire State Building. Sam has his arm around me and he’s looking down at me, those eye crinkles of his showing and there’s definite affection in his gaze. But love? After only a weekend together? That seems…
I shake my head at my seat mate. “No, we only just met.”
“I know what I see.”
“That’s very kind of you to say, but we’re not meant to be. We live very different lives. And I already found my soulmate.”
The older lady’s eyebrows raise. “You are already married?”
I shake my head. “No. We’re not together either. He died in the war. But he was my one.”
“And you only get one of those, right?”
“Exactly. Thank you for understanding. What was your name?”
“Lois.”
“Nice to meet you, Lois. I’m Isabel. My sisters and brother never understand what I’m saying when it comes to soulmates. But they’ve found theirs, they already have their ones.”
She gives me a conciliatory smile and pats me on the hand. “Your siblings don’t understand your logic, because you’re wrong, my dear.”
I shift in my seat, frowning at the old woman. “I beg your pardon?”
She pats my arm. “Lots of people believe you only get one true love. I believed it myself when I was a young girl and I married my first husband, Frank. We were two peas in a pod. Planned to spend our golden years together. But as it turned out, I only got Frank for ten years before the cancer took him from me.”
She looks off, passed me clearly relieving her own memories. My stomach and heart feel tied in knots while I wait for her to tell me the part where I’m wrong.
Could it be that I’m so smitten with Sam that I’m willing to let some stranger on a plane completely change my entire adulthood philosophy about love and soulmates? Yes, yes, I am. Amazing sex will do that.
Maybe I should excuse myself and go to the bathroom and hope she’s asleep by the time I get back.
“I was in a bad place after my Frank passed. We’d never had any kids and I was certain that I was destined to die alone. That I’d had my one great love and it might not have been a lifetime, but it was wonderful while it lasted.” She looks at me and smiles. “But love wasn’t done with me yet. Do you see that man across the aisle?”
I lean forward and look and sure enough there’s an elderly man with one of those old-man newsboy hats. His chin is tucked and he’s snoring slightly.
“That’s my Wilbur. I met him three years after Frank died and boy did I put that man through the wringer while he courted me. I was stubborn and foolish and it nearly cost me the last forty years of wedded bliss. Not to mention our five kids, eleven grandkids and one great-grandbaby on the way.”
I let her words soak in. “But you love him differently than Frank.” I say, and it’s not a question.
“Of course I do. He’s a different man. And I’m a different woman than the girl I was when I married Frank and I was doe-eyed and full of hope. So yes, it’s a different love, but it’s no less intense, no less important, no less meant to be. I was meant to love both men. They made me who I am today, and I wouldn’t trade a single moment”
She’s quiet for a moment, then she pats my hand again. “Don’t shut love out if it comes knocking. There’s not a finite amount that we’re given. And loving another doesn’t disparage the memory of your first. Part of your heart will always belong to him, but there’s so much left unclaimed and it would be a tragedy to waste it when there’s a perfectly good man who clearly wants what’s left of your heart.”
I don’t even realize I’m crying until Lois hands over a handkerchief from her purse.
I spend the rest of the flight home thinking about Lois’s words. It’s a nice sentiment. And it’s lovely that she found a second happy ending for herself. That’s got to be incredibly rare. And moreover, she said herself that Wilbur courted her for several years. He fought for her.
Sam never said anything to me other than he didn’t do one-night stands. As if somehow not calling it that would make it mean more or give him an excuse. I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. If Sam had wanted more, he would have said something. The man was not shy about telling me what he thought.
He knew I wanted a one and done. That’s what he signed up for.
Besides, if he changes his mind, he knows where to find me. Half the internet thinks we’re dating. He knows where I live and the name of my business.
This isn’t me hiding from him. This is a strategic retreat.