unREASONable by Arya Matthews
Track 6
Marshall
I don’t resent Charlie nearly as much as everyone thinks I do, but my hostility toward her keeps the girl at bay. Otherwise she acts like I’m one of her dolls to dress and pose for her perfect online posts. As for Alexandra, I see that she’s putting forth a lot of effort to mesh with us. I’m not blind. But we were good before her. Nothing had to change. Now everything is upside down. We’re supposed to be resting and writing new songs, but CJ spends all of his time with her, supposedly teaching her the ways of the band.
What else are they doing together?
I dismiss that thought as soon as it manifests. Nothing. They are doing nothing but jamming on their basses. Right now CJ seems too invested in his new mentor role to notice anything or anyone else, even though typically his calendar would be filled with dates three months in advance.
I can’t remember the last time I went on a date. It’s been years. It’ll probably be that much more before I’ll even consider dating again. We mocked Shane for his fear of heights the day Alexandra had arrived, but I wish my fear was that simple. I’m not afraid of snakes, spiders, heights, or darkness. I’d be a happy camper if I was afraid of any of those little things. You can usually avoid nasty creatures and most other unpleasant things. I hate change. Change is unavoidable and constant. It waits around every corner and leaves me feeling vulnerable and unprepared no matter what I do. I hate that feeling. There’s nothing but change and chaos now that Alexandra is here.
While Juliette sets up photography gear, I settle into an enormous bean bag chair next to a tall, potted mandarin tree and drink my Diet Coke. Fiona and Charlie push Alexandra into a padded swivel chair in front of a wide mirror in the corner and unbraid her hair. Elise swipes through images on Pinterest, suggesting different styles. Alexandra shakes her head at each and every single one of them.
“I don’t want a new style. I like everything exactly the way it is.” Her voice rings unbending, her accent strong.
For whatever reason, I approve. She does have claws after all. I wondered when they would come out because so far she has been accepting of everything. Her hair, apparently, is a different story.
Elise taps a finger against her lips. “Flat iron and some smoothing product then?”
Alexandra accepts. Only the trouble doesn’t end there.
When it’s time to pick out an outfit, she flat out refuses to wear anything sleeveless or with a deep collar.
“But look at you!” Elise never relents after only one try. “You’re a doll with those hips.”
Alexandra glances at me, and her cheeks turn deep red as she says, “Then show off the hips. Why do I have to be naked up top?”
“You haven’t been here a month yet, but you’re already acting like a diva?” I tease Alexandra. “Not this hair, not these clothes.”
Clutching her outfit to her chest, Alexandra first shoots me a glare, then looks away, eyes downcast in a guilty way. Hm.
Fiona takes Alexandra to another room to change, and Charlie waves me over. “Stop being a smirking creep and come here. We’ll do some shots of Alexandra with you and CJ. I already texted him.”
As proof of her words, CJ materializes at the top of the stairs that lead to the loft, Alexandra’s bass in his hands. He has changed into a pair of black jeans with his favorite white leather belt and a black tee.
I heave myself out of the bean bag chair with a growl. When the girls get something into their heads, there’s no weaseling out of it. Especially if they’re sent by Kiera. One way or another, they’ll get their way. I’m better off letting them annihilate my afternoon. Maybe that way I’ll have an evening all to myself. “I’m not changing.”
Elise points to the chair in front of the mirror. “Sleek or messy?”
At least I get to choose my hairstyle. “Messy.”
Elise works on my hair while Charlie poses for Juliette so that the assistant photographer can make sure the lighting works. Juliette’s father is our usual photographer, but recently Juliette started doing quick shoots like today all on her own.
The sweet, citrusy scent of hair product hits my nose. I squirm in the chair.
“It’s just a shoot.” CJ stands next to me, watching Elise organize my hair into a controlled chaos before applying several dabs of whatever skin potions she likes to use to make us presentable for the photos.
I’m about to snipe something back when Elise pats me on the cheek. “All done. You get your beauty sleep these days, don’t you? I barely had to do anything.”
No, Elise. I don’t sleep very well at all, thank you for asking. There’s this girl that’s invaded my life and my family and stole my best friend. And I can’t get rid of her because of the contract we all signed.
I vacate the chair, keeping my sarcasm to myself. They don’t need to hear it.
Alexandra returns to the loft and surveys the scene. She’s changed into a pair of skin-tight black pants and a long silver top with lace on the back. A set of chain necklaces and a pair of knee-high black boots complete the look. She’s the same girl, yet so different. The same hair, but her dark, outlined eyes and sheer lip gloss add a bit of a wow factor to her appearance.
“That’s a cool outfit,” Juliette comments with a wide smile.
“Do I look like a proper rock star?” Alexandra rests her hands on her hips and upturns her nose.
She might be facing Juliette, but her eyes dart my way. What does she hope my reaction will be? Interesting that she wants me to react at all. I won’t.
CJ escapes from Elise and takes a turn around Alexandra. “Very nice. Marsh and I are going to be pretty much useless now.” He presses a fist to his chest, feigning heartbreak.
Alexandra laughs, and I realize that this is the first time I’ve witnessed it. When we practice, she speaks little and only asks music-related questions. When we don’t practice, I make sure to steer clear of her and all the reminders of how she has upended my perfect life. Still, when she smiles, her face lights up. Tiny dimples form in her cheeks. Her laughter is comfortable and easy on the ears.
“Let’s get a few shots of you and your bass without the boys first,” Charlie suggests as she sits on a couch opposite to the wall they designate for the backdrop.
“Just remember, you said ‘a small shoot.’ We don’t have all day for this,” I tell her. I have no plans whatsoever, but she doesn’t need to know that.
Charlie ignores me and continues firing pose suggestions to Alexandra and Juliette.
When it’s time to have me and CJ in the photos, I switch into performance mode. As much as I despise Charlie’s tactics, my smolders make us money.
“Stand as close to each other as comfortable,” Charlie says. “Your fans need to believe that you feel like Alexandra is the best thing that has ever happened to you. That she is a welcome addition to the band.”
Will do. Even if her presence is my worst nightmare.
“She certainly is.” CJ wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her close.
He’s always touching her. She never stops him. Something’s definitely brewing between them.
“Aw, this is almost cute.” Charlie rises from the couch and comes to shove me closer to my bandmates. “Get in there.”
“CJ’s the one who’s handing over his reins with the bass. Why do you need me?”
“Because you’re the frontman. Your approval is just as important.”
“Well, I don’t approve.” I place my arm around Alexandra’s back, careful to touch her as little as possible. Even then she stiffens.
“Arm around Marshall, Alexandra,” Charlie orders. “Don’t worry. He won’t bite.”
“What if she does?” I joke. It’s stupid, but I need to do something to shake off the tension.
CJ chuckles and throws me a look I can’t decipher over Alexandra’s head.
“I just might.” Alexandra places her arm around my waist and squeezes with surprising firmness.
The camera shutter snaps. Flashes go off and cut through the tension.
Charlie claps her hands as she studies Juliette’s screen. “This is gonna be the best.”
The room darkens, and a roll of thunder rattles the glass in the windowpanes. An inexplicable feeling of walking into a disaster claws through me.
“I need to adjust the light a little, so have a tiny break,” Juliette says.
“I have another idea for a photo with the bass.” CJ leaves his spot.
I’m used to being touched, but Alexandra’s forced embrace doesn’t sit right with me. Her spitefulness is fine. I can handle it. What I can’t seem to deal with is the regret that enters my chest when she follows CJ.
In her hurry to move away, Alexandra stumbles and pitches toward me, and my hands fly to her forearms out of a reflex.
An uncomfortable laugh slips off her lips. “Sorry.” Hands on my chest, she adjusts her stance and looks up at me. Embarrassed blue eyes meet mine.
I’m trying to compute what’s happening. All of my thoughts blend together into one fuzzy mess while I fight to free myself from the grip Alexandra’s gaze has on me. Nothing’s happening. She does nothing, says nothing, but I feel threatened somehow. Let go. I have to let go of her. I must stop touching her. How do I do that again?
With effort, I manage to order my hands to release her and take several long steps to the window.
Later, a few minutes after midnight and before I’m finally sleeping, a phone notification pings in the darkness of my bedroom—an email from Juliette with a link to the photo session. She and her dad always work late to let us see the photos before Kiera and Charlie so that we can have our pick and not have anything we hate posted online.
I follow the link to the folder on cloud storage and scroll through the images. I kind of hate to admit it, but Alexandra photographs well. Dozens of stylish photos in, I spot one of that moment when she grabbed onto me. At least in that photograph, it looks like I’m holding her with much more care than I actually did. Juliette has tweaked the photo with some filters and overlays and added a soft, dream-like haze to it. We look like two lovers in a tender embrace.
I tap the photo and add a comment.
Destroy it.