It Started with a Crack by Piper James

Noah: Kane shit on the carpet.

Me: I told you not to feed him all that steak last night.

Noah: It was two pieces!

Me: Two huge pieces you cut up into tiny morsels and fed him on a china saucer.

Noah: Not helping!

Me: Clean it up. Look under the kitchen sink. I picked up some pet stain cleaner a few days ago. You know, just in case you decided to feed him half a cow.

Noah: It was two pieces! Oh god, it’s so much. I don’t know if I can do this.

Me: Kane weighs six pounds. How much could it possibly be?

Noah: I can take a pic if you don’t believe me.

Me: Please, God, no. No pics. Just clean it up. Your responsibility remember?

Noah: You suck.

Noah: But I still like you, anyway.