Thoth by Alessa Thorn

24

Thoth joined Hermes and Selene in a small lounge room. They were sipping tea and talking softly to Anubis. Thoth’s legs and brain weren’t quite working, even after his quick, cold shower.

“Look who finally decided to join us. I thought you two were going to get back into it again with your ‘dick magic.’” Hermes fluttered his long, dark lashes at him.

“What can I say, it’s one more magical discipline I’m more proficient at than you,” Thoth replied dryly.

“Did you hear that, Selene? Thoth can make a joke.”

Selene only rolled her eyes. “If you two are finished, I’d like permission to do an examination on Anubis.”

“I thought you were a human nurse?” Thoth said.

“I am, but since I quit and started to work on magic, my healing abilities lean more towards animal healing. Dogs specifically.”

“It makes sense, considering Hecate is your grandmother.” Thoth glanced towards Anubis. “If he allows you to check him, you are welcome to.”

Kema joined them as Selene crouched down by Anubis. She smelled fresh from her shower, like roses and sugar and soap. Thoth wanted to bury his face into her hair, which was draped in long, loose waves over her back.

There’s nowhere I’d rather be, her words filled him with strange happiness. Kema caught him staring and gave him a lazy wink.

White starlight emanated from Selene’s palms. Her power carried some of the feel of Hecate in it, and Thoth could already tell that in time she would be a healer of rare potency.

Anubis whined softly as Selene’s gentle hands stroked over his body, her magic moving inside of him. Her brow was furrowed, eyes shut as she repeated the process over and over again. Her fingers lingered between his ears and over his heart.

“Physically, he is in good condition, considering how you found him. The connection between heart and mind is definitely broken. He can’t remember who he is. The pieces are fragmented. It’s like his god side and animal side are at war with each other, and neither part will settle,” Selene said, her voice soft with feeling. She rocked back on her heels, and Hermes’s hands reached out to steady her.

“There must be a way that we can help Anubis’s god consciousness win over the animal instinct,” Kema said, tapping her chin. She looked up at Thoth. “Do you think that you could go into his memories like you did with Hermes and try to piece them together that way?”

Thoth massaged his temple, thinking it over. “Hermes was willing to let me do it, and even then, it’s not the kind of magic I’m proficient at.”

“Will you let me have a try?” Hermes asked. Thoth’s hesitation must have been obvious because Hermes growled in irritation. “I’m not going to hurt him, Thoth. I’ve always like Anubis, and I personally know what it’s like to have a curse rearrange the furniture in your mind. I wouldn’t have to use herbs or anything like you did. I could use the caduceus to slip in and try to push back his animal side long enough for the god to take over.”

Kema’s soft hand curled around Thoth’s. “Let him do it, Thoth. Anubis has suffered enough.”

Thoth’s hand tightened in hers. “Okay, Hermes. Try it. I…trust you.”

Hermes’s hawk eyes softened. “Thank you, Thoth. I know that was probably hard for you to admit.”

“Don’t ruin it,” Thoth snapped. Hermes’s mouth quirked upward, and the caduceus materialized in his hand.

“Okay, Anubis, old friend, let’s make some magic,” Hermes whispered, and hot golden power filled the room. Kema’s hand gripped Thoth’s, mouth popping open in a soft gasp. Her eyes turned scarlet as her magic rose, responding to her bloodline’s power. Hermes’s own eyes were now golden and vacant, one hand on Anubis’s head.

Thoth’s anxiety turned to acid in his veins as time seemed to slow. Anubis whimpered, his paws scratching at his head. Silver lines of his magic circled him from nose to tail. Thoth held his breath, hoping that the change would occur, but it didn’t. The power sat on the dark fur, mingling with the gold of Hermes’s healing magic.

Finally, Hermes shook himself all over and snapped back into his body. All the magic in the room simmered away.

“I need a fucking drink,” Hermes murmured, collapsing on the sofa chair. There was a rattle, and a tray and glasses filled with amber brandy appeared on the small coffee table. “I really need to get my house serving drinks.”

Once they were settled on the chairs, Kema close and comforting beside him, Thoth asked, “What happened in there?”

“It’s a fucking mess,” Hermes began. He looked at Anubis and sipped his brandy. “I’m really surprised he hasn't gone crazy and tried to kill himself. Probably the animal survival instincts wouldn’t let him. I’ve done the best I can to create links in the scattered parts of himself, but now it’s up to him.”

“What do you mean?” Kema asked.

“He has to choose to take human form again. He needs to want it, to find a reason to come back. Until he does, he’s going to remain this way,” Hermes said. They all turned to look at Anubis. He huffed at them before padding out of the room alone and wandering off into the darkness of the house.

* * *

The world wassilver and filled with shadows, even outside under the stars. Anubis sniffed the gardens, hunting for any sign of intruders, before sitting down and staring at the sky. He could feel something shifting inside of him. Burning and aching and needing to be free.

The man with the staff had done something. His face had been familiar. Anubis felt like he should know all of them, but they were not the ones he wanted. He needed the woman that smelled like jasmine and darkness and the dead. She was important.

She is in danger. You need to let me be free so I can help her, a deep voice echoed in his head. He knew that voice. Once, he thought it might have been his.

If the woman was in danger, he could protect her with teeth and claw.

They aren’t enemies that can be hurt that way. The inner one pushed hard against him, straining to be loose.

The voices inside the house distracted him, and Anubis trotted back into the warmth. The room he liked was empty again, so he lay down on a soft carpet and went to sleep.

Deep inside of the beast, Anubis took advantage of his unconscious state to push him out. The animal kicked his legs out in his dreaming but didn’t wake. Anubis remembered the woman’s face again; dark curls kissed by the sun, hazel eyes, wide smiling mouth, dirt and death under her fingernails. He didn’t know her name, didn’t know why she needed his help. Anubis only knew he needed to find her. Now.

Pain wracked the animal’s body, a yelp of surprised agony coming out of its muzzle before Anubis shoved his way out. Bones snapped under the weight of silver power, heat and ichor and magic roared through him. Paws became hands and feet, his torso growing and stretching, ears and nose shrinking and reshaping. With a shout of rage, Anubis clawed himself to freedom.

Cold, clear air shot into his lungs. His eyes burned with the sudden onslaught of color. Anubis hauled himself to shaking feet.

Footsteps trailed nearby, and suddenly, a woman was standing in front of him. Her mouth fell open as her head tilted up and up and up to finally rest on his face.

“You know, I had a dream like this once where I’d find a handsome, naked man just hanging out in my lounge room,” she stammered and then shook herself.

“I thought I felt—” A man said as he hurried into the room. He pulled up short and moved the woman behind him.

Anubis studied his face, the high cheekbones and bronze eyes. He smelled of magic and birds and the wind. This one he knew. He searched for the word, the name, the god…

“Thoth. Thoth,” Anubis said over and over. He grabbed the god by his shoulders and shook him hard. “Where is my fucking Ka?”