Petty Rage by Thandiwe Mpofu

Chapter 12

KIM

Past

Noah: Are you still in Westbrook Blues?

ME: Yes.

Noah: Okay.

ME: Why?

Noah: Just checking to see if it’s safe to return or not. Clearly, it’s not. I can’t stand being in the same town as you.

ME: And yet you still have my number. You still talk to me. You still want me, don’t you?

Noah: What I want is to make you sorry for ever lying to me. One day you’re going to be sorry you ever met me.

ME: There’s no ‘one fucking day’ about it. I’m already sorry I met you.

Noah: No! You’re sorry you got caught! What were you expecting, Kimberly? That you’d wreak havoc in my world and slip away unscathed? That’s not how this fucking chapter ends.

Present

My new slow ass car does the job of getting us to the drugstore where we fill Casey’s prescription only to get another bomb dropped on my fucking ass.

“Excuse me, miss.” From the tone of the pharmacist’s voice and the look on her face, I already know what she wants to say. So, I raise a finger for her to wait and then turn to look at my sisters, a tight smile on my face.

“Laura, can you take your sister and check out that rack of books? It’s not too early to start planning your Christmas list.”

The thing about Christmas? It sparks hope in the hearts of children, but as I watch them go with their hands locked, my heart grows heavy.

I already know Santa fucking Claus doesn’t exist and this time around, I fear my sisters are going to get exposed to that ugly fact of life.

“My apologies,” I say to the pharmacist. “You were saying?”

“I ran your info, but it says here that you’re no longer covered by this health insurance provider.” Here we go. “Did you switch providers or would you like to pay upfront? Cash or card?”

Fuck! I was really hoping the insurance was still working but apparently they cut me off as soon as they gave me the pink slip.

Casey’s meds are expensive, but they are necessary.

In recent months, she sometimes she felt pain from out of the blue.

Her skin sometimes feels cold and looks pale and then she starts sweating profusely, which made her cry and when that happens, I had no idea what to do.

Going to the doctor costs huge bucks but I had no choice but to take her.

The first doctor told me it was nothing. The narcissistic asshole thought my sister was just pretending. I cursed him out and took Casey to another one who told me it was probably some aftereffects of her ‘challenging and unfortunate birth.’

I didn’t curse him out but I did accidentally step on his foot until he cried out. At least I did it after he wrote me the prescription slips—enough to last for a few months.

As I think of that, it dawns on me where I am and who I’m talking to.

This is one of the bougie, high-end drug stores in Westbrook Blues where they have a section of designer toiletry bags. Hell, it smells like a Sephora in here.

“Uh, how much is it?” I ask.

“The combined total, including the inhaler refill, is twelve hundred dollars.”

Twelve hundred dollars!

The lady blinks at me, waiting for her money or for me to get the hell out of her pharmacy.

Trying to breathe through my nose, I open my wallet and literally give her all the money I have.

“Also, the prescription is good for the next two weeks. You’ll have to come back again when it runs out.”

“Two weeks?” I hiss. “Wait, why?”

She stares at me as if I just lost my mind, so I tell her never mind and take the medication, my receipt then call the girls so we can leave.

I also buy some water for Casey and watch her take her medicine. All five different types of expensive pills.

Laura packs her new inhaler into her bag, and I make sure the one I keep on me in case of emergencies is full as well. I never go anywhere with Laura without it.

I quickly drive to the elementary school, hating that the girls are getting separated, but the plan has always been to get one in and the other follows close after. If Laura can get a scholarship, maybe we can come up with an arrangement of sorts to get Casey enrolled as well.

When we get to the school, Laura and I walk my little queen bee diva to her class.

I have no idea why I feel like I’m about to burst into ugly tears, watching my baby Casey walk into class without any fear or hesitation like she owns the place but fuck, it really hits me hard.

I drop down to my knees and hug her fiercely.

“You’ll be here, right? You know, when I’m done?” she questions, a serious look on her beautiful little face. I love the way her big brown eyes look up at me, her hair framing her face; it gets me each time.

“Always,” I whisper, my throat working, the vow I made to her the day she was born tightening in my soul as I look into her eyes. Laura wedges in and I fold them both in my arms as best as I can. “I’ll always be here for you both.”

“Promise?” Casey whispers, and I realize, she’s a bit nervous but trying not to show it.

“Cross my heart,” I mutter then I kiss my pinky and stick it out to them. They mimic the move, and they link their pinkies in mine. One last hug then Casey pushes back.

“Okay, you can leave now,” she commands.

“Ah, okay, Beyoncé,” I mutter and Laura laughs.

Stunned, I watch as she walks to her class. What the fuck? First day and no tears? Is this world coming to an end?

“Be good and listen to your teacher! I love you, munchkin!” I call out. She turns back and shoots me a look. Score!

“Shh!” she hushes, looking all embarrassed. “Go away!”

I can’t help but laugh at that, the thing in my chest squeezing tighter.

Her teacher seems nice enough, but I need to find out more about her. I’ll ask Spider to look into her later.

Laura and I walk back to the car in silence.

“What’s on your mind, babe?” I ask.

“It’s nothing.”

“Worried about Casey?” I wrap an arm around her shoulders, hugging her close to me.

“I’m more worried about the school than about Casey,” she mumbles.

It’s not a lie. Casey’s attitude can set that entire school on fire if she so decides.

Don’t get it twisted, she’s not a bad child. She’s not naughty or anything sinister like that, she just doesn’t like it when people try to control or manipulate her or get on her wrong side.

“Then what is it?” I ask. “We’ll make it to your interview on time.”

“With you driving like that, I have no doubt,” she shudders visibly.

“Hey, I’m a pretty good driver.”

“Ahh—” she shoots me a skeptical look. “Okay. Whatever you say, Kimmy.”

“Come on my little genius. I promise we’ll make it in one piece.”

“Yeah, sure.”

* * *

We do make it in one piece, well, just barely. As soon as I find a spot to park, I’m out the door, a bit breathless and all-out desperate.

“Come on, Laura!” I slam my door shut, grab her hand and run to the office. “We only have a minute.”

“We’ll make it!”

Damn right we will.

In no time at all, we burst through the doors to the office, and then straight to the administrator.

“Ah, you must be Miss Laura Allory,” the older lady says, a small smile on her face, obviously reserving judgement as she looks us up and down like we’re roaches.

I’m grateful that she doesn’t bat an eye to our slightly disheveled state as we pant, coming to a stop in front of her desk.

“Yes, this is she,” I say, composing myself. “And I’m her guardian, Kimberly Allory.”

“Yes, of course, we’ve been expecting you both,” she says. “This way please.”

We follow the lady down a perfectly lit hallway, decorated with fancy and definitely expensive art pieces.

I’m fully aware of how out of place Laura looks, and I know the feeling. This prep school is an extension of Westbrook Blues High, the dominating, monster of a school where I met them… the group of people I was sent to spy on: The Blue Boys and their queen, Astraea, who turned out to be my cousin and one of my best friends in this entire world.

Before I even saw them, I thought they were nothing but spoiled and entitled rich brats, but what I found instead was a group I could relate to as the darkness and haunting trauma in me responded to the deep slithers of aches, pains and trouble that hovered over them.

I not only responded to it, but I grew intensely jealous of their tight-knit tribe.

I admired them, admired the fact that even though they disagreed like hell, they still had each other’s backs, and fuck if I wasn’t desperate to be a part of them just as I helplessly and impossibly fell in love with the boy whose name I mutter just before I fall asleep.

Noah…

I feel Laura gripping my hand tightly in hers.

Glancing down, I notice she’s a little pale, so I stop following the lady and kneel before her. She stops as well but doesn’t look me in the eye. From the corner of my eye, I notice the older lady stop, realizing that we’re not following her.

“Nervous?” I whisper.

“Yes,” she whispers back.

“Me too.”

“Really?” she asks, looking surprised.

“Oh yeah. I don’t know what’s going to happen in there.” Well, the truth is I don’t like my babies being judged by people who want to determine whether or not they are worthy, but that’s another kind of hurricane-drama for when I’m provoked. This is just how it is for now. “But one thing I do know is, you are special, babe.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you are, otherwise why would they want you at this impressive school?” I say, smoothing down her t-shirt. “Want to know a secret?”

“Yeah.”

“They know they don’t have anyone like you.” I whisper conspiratorially.

“Because I’m special?” she mutters. “I’m pretty sure every kid here is some sort of special as well.”

“True. But you, Laura Sarah Allory, you’re incredible. You’re super smart too.”

She looks up then, straight into my eyes. “I am.”

“And guess what? No matter what they say in there, you are going to be great!”

“I want to attend this school, Kimmy.”

“So why are you sad?” I ask.

“Because I don’t want to stress you out.”

Damn.Definitely not the words I expected to hear from her.

“Oh, baby, why do you say that?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to get that scholarship and I know that will only stress you out. And I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Fuck me.

I’m already utterly fucked as it is. Attending this damn private school costs a pretty penny. A pretty penny that I can’t afford but would move mountains to get for her.

“You would never disappoint me, babe. You got this and tell you what, scholarship or not, I’m still going to get you the uniforms you need for this place.”

“Does that mean…?”

“Yes! You’ll be attending this school.”

“What about Casey?”

Fuck. It’s just like Laura to think of her baby sister no matter what, and I guess that’s what was bothering her when we dropped Casey off.

“Casey too!”

She launches into my arms, almost knocking me down to my ass but by some miracle, I stay on my knees, hugging her tight.

“You’re the best. I love you, Kimmy.”

“Love you too, kiddo,” I mutter. When we pull back, I pinch her little button of a nose playfully, making her giggle. “Feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Now go in there and show them who’s incredible.”

With that, she turns on her heel, and follows the administrator. I go to follow but the older lady stops me.

“Uh, this interview is a one-on-one basis, Miss Allory. Why don’t you take a seat and wait?” She gestures to the lavish and full sitting area that I completely missed as I was having a deeply personal heart-to-heart with my sister, but whatever. They should learn how to mind their own damn business.

“How long will the interview take?” I question, glancing down at my watch.

“Usually, ten minutes but some even take less than five.”

Ten minutes. Okay, I can do ten minutes.

But nope, it doesn’t take ten minutes.

Laura is in there for longer than twenty minutes.

I’m tapping my left foot nervously, annoying the rich housewife to my left but I don’t even spare her a glance.

What are they even talking about in there? Laura is not a talkative kid. She’s shy and reserved.

I bite my inner cheek, feeling like bursting into the room to find out what’s happening. Just as I’m about to lose my damn cool, the door to the inner office opens and out comes by baby sister with the biggest smile on her face.

“Kimmy, I did it!” With a burst of energy I didn’t know she had, she rushes toward me, jumping up and down, excited in a way I’ve never seen her before.

A girl born in the most despicable conditions, with a mother who…

Nope. Not going to think of her in this victorious moment.

“Of course you did! I had no doubt at all!”

“Congratulations again, Miss Allory,” a new voice says. Looking up, I stare into the eyes of who I assume to be the principal of the school. “And you must be the Wonder Woman superhero big sister.”

“Ah,” I hum, looking down at Laura’s excited face. “Wonder Woman, huh?”

“Yes!” she says.

“I’m her big sister, yes,” I say, shaking the woman’s hand. “Kimberly Allory.”

“Hello. Miss Allory. I’m Mrs. Cho, Head of Admissions for the Westbrook Blues League of Schools.”

Westbrook Blues League of Schools.

“Do you mean for both the high school and prep school?” I question, something in my stomach twisting as I stare at her, keeping my face as neutral as possible.

“Yes,” Mrs. Cho says softly, “including the elementary and Westbrook Blues College.”

There’s a damn college? What the fuck?

I know nothing should surprise me at this point but WHAT THE FUCK? A college as well?

“Wow. I didn’t know the head of such a big group of schools dealt with these things,” I say, studying her face, my guard coming up in an instant.

“Yes, well, I don’t usually do this, but you’re looking after one special young lady who will do great things here and with the rest of her life. You must be proud,” Mrs. Cho says with an impressed smile.

I don’t know what Laura told her in there but whatever it was, I’m pretty sure she was shining so fucking bright.

“I’m more than proud of her,” I say, glancing down at her. “So, does she start school today?”

“Well,” Mrs. Cho starts, looking at me with a stilted smile. “About that, could you come in my office, Miss Allory, so we can discuss further?”

I feel the blood in my veins starts to rush as panic starts fluttering in the pit of my stomach.

This can’t be good.

“But, Mrs. Cho, I thought we talked about everything,” I hear Laura say, some panic in her voice.

I hold Mrs. Cho’s gaze, who looks uncertainly at me. I guess it’s the hard, cold glare I’m giving her right back.

Can she tell that I know how to kill a man seven different ways?

“I’m sure you did, babe,” I say reassuringly at Laura. “I think Mrs. Cho and I just need to talk grown up stuff. Right, Mrs. Cho?”

“Yes, of course,” the older, refined lady says softly, a hint of sympathy in her eyes. Fuck. I hate that look.

Laura tugs at my arm. Knowing what she wants, I bend over.

“Does the grown up stuff include talk about money?” she whispers in my ear.

I have to work pretty fucking hard to school my facial features and keep my voice level, even as I lie to her.

“I’m not sure,” I whisper in her ear the half-truth. “But whatever it is, everything’s going to be just fine.”

“She asked about where we live and about medical insurance,” Laura whispers, her breath hot in my ear. I can feel her little heart pounding.

Ah fuck. Of course, they would ask all that.

“Okay.”

“I lied.” I look at her, surprised. “I told them that we live up in the Westbrook Blues Estates.”

Ah fuck! Somebody throw this whole day away!

For a long moment, I’m just bent over, looking at the floor as I process what my sweet, truthful sister just said.

“Say something, Kimmy. I mean, we know Auntie Raea and her fiancé, Uncle Alex.”

She’s now in distress and worried, and I… I can’t keep up with my racing thoughts as goosebumps start forming on my skin.

I hope she didn’t mention Astraea or that fucker, Alex King, for that matter. That brute King and I have beef, but mostly, I love giving him a hard time for no reason. It’s fun pissing him off.

“It’s fine,” I whisper back, then straighten. “Can you wait here while I talk to Mrs. Cho?”

“Actually, Laura, can you go with Mrs. Lawson over there to get fitted for your new school uniforms? When your sister and I are done, she’ll come and see you before we start assembly,” Mrs. Cho says. “Is that all right with you?”

Laura looks up at me, expectantly.

For a moment, just a brief moment, I want to tell her the truth.

The truth that I can’t afford this place.

That people like us are not exactly welcome in spaces like these and we should know our place in this rigged world.

But in the next moment, I get so angry at those thoughts and the fact that I’m basically demeaning myself and my sisters, as if they don’t deserve nice things in life, that I give her an enthusiastic smile and nod my head.

“That sounds so exciting! Go ahead, babe! Can’t wait to see you in your new uniform!”

Those damn uniforms I’m sure will cost more than I made this entire summer with all my parttime jobs.

My sweet sister squeals and gives me a tight hug, then I watch as she bounds away with Mrs. Lawson, toward her new but blurry future.

God, please help me.

“Okay, Mrs. Cho,” I say in a rush, straightening up to my full height, keeping my head held high. “I’m all yours.”

“This way, Miss Allory.”

Like I have deadweights chained to my ankles, I follow after her, going down the shadowy hallway. We even go past what I assume is her office.

Curious, I follow silently until we get to the end of the hallway and into another office. This one is large, but homey, and I know immediately that this is the principal’s office.

“Come in, Miss Allory,” a new voice says. This one is not so sweet or soft like Mrs. Cho’s. It’s stern and serious.

Steeling myself and adopting my don’t-fucking-mess-with-me persona, I walk in like I fucking own the place.

I don’t wait to be directed to sit. I just pull back the chair in front of the mahogany desk and then sit, waiting for the person on the other end, who’s currently turned away from me to turn around.

“Thank you, Mrs. Cho. You can leave now.”

Without another word or a glance at me, Mrs. Cho leaves so fast—like someone just set her bougie ass on fire. I turn to look at her, but she’s already out the door, closing it with a soft click.

“Miss Allory, it’s so good that you came in today,” the stern, serious voice says, still facing away from me. “I’m sure you already know your sister is just the right fit for our school.”

“Yes—”

“It’s a sad realization that she was never here in the first place. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think those that look after her don’t care about her growth and intellect.”

What?

“Excuse me—”

“Or else they would have sought out the best school for her,” the voice goes on as if I’m not trying to say something. “Westbrook Blues Prep was built for kids as bright as Laura.”

“Yes, but if you’re going to talk about my sister like that, I’d appreciate it if you face me directly,” I state, my words gritted and rough. “Or are you going to keep demeaning my family, perched up on your high and mighty throne like you know everything when you’re nothing but a coward?”

I have no idea why I just snapped like that.

Obviously, whoever this person is, they hold the keys to this kingdom. They have the final say so as to whether or not Laura attends the school or gets a scholarshoip.

It’s probably in my best interest to be polite, but well… I’m a bitch. I’ve never hidden that little fact.

I’m prepared to apologize when I suddenly hear a little round of applause.

“And there she is,” the voice says as the chair starts swinging around. “The overprotective and headstrong girl I’ve heard about in passing.”

As the chair swivels around, the face comes in full view.

I think my jaw drops to the carpeted floor.

What. The. Ever. Loving. Fuck?