Petty Rage by Thandiwe Mpofu
Chapter 4
KIM
Past
Sexy Stranger: Wr are U?
ME: At the house. Why? And are you all right? It’s three a.m.
Sexy Stranger: Then why are U UP? Why don’t you call it your home?
ME: It’s not my home. It’s a prison. Ghosts and devils come out to play at three a.m.
Sexy Stranger: …
ME: Are you ok? I’m sorry.
Sexy Stranger: WHY?
ME: Today’s the anniversary of your brother’s death.
Sexy Stranger: Then why are you crying?
ME: WHAT? I’M NOT CRYING.
Sexy Stranger: What devils hurt you on this day? Mine was death.
ME: …
Sexy Stranger: I’M OUTSIDE.
ME: NOAH!
Sexy Stranger: I HAVE JCK.
ME: JCK?
Sexy Stranger: Come out & meet him. He speaks the language of ghosts & devils at three a.m.
ME: I don’t know…
Sexy Stranger: Come to me, Butterfly.
Present
We don’t talk, we never do on Friday the 13th and tonight isn’t an exception.
We call it Hell Day, have been calling it that since we both discovered the fucking double-edged sword that sliced us all the way to hell.
I now see tonight’s anger—his and mine—for what it truly is.
Unbridled pain.
A kind of pain that brings you close to the edge of quitting but it’s not enough to actually get you there.
So you grow antsy, frustrated, ready to burst at any given time because you don’t know what to do with all those bottled up emotions that you can’t even name.
The night I met Noah at the Pit where he beat a guy half to death and then I followed him to the cemetery, I was dealing with my own PTSD that made me shiver and sweat as the memories of what happened the day my sister was born flashed in my head.
I had to deal with that, and all the while, I needed to plaster a smile on my face and celebrate her birthday.
Too much.
It was all too much.
The car slows down as Noah turns onto a dirt road.
I have no idea where we are or where we’re going. I just hold still, waiting for him to find a spot—like he always does—to park and then let me loose.
He does just that, but this time, when I get out, I’m met with one of the most breathtaking views I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing.
“Where are we?” I gasp, soaking in the natural beauty of this place.
“The other side of the mountains that overlook Westbrook Blues.”
My God.
There’s a stream of rushing water and a waterfall I can hear from here, all of it surrounded by a beautiful forest. It’s like an enchanted, hidden oasis that delights in nature. Undisturbed by human idiocy and all the mess we create for ourselves and others.
The moon is out tonight, casting a glow on the stream that makes me feel… safe for some reason.
Or maybe I’m trying to fabricate an illusion of peace in my mind to try and subconsciously cope with all the stress, the hurt, the pain and everything else I won’t feel tonight.
“It’s beautiful.”
He doesn’t say anything.
His jaw is still locked as he walks over to the back of the car where he takes out bottles of Jack, a vodka and my favorite red wine that he had me try one time before when we used to be… well, friends of sorts.
I walk over to see what else he brought and true to form, the black blanket with glow in the dark fairies is folded neatly in the back.
He passes me the unscrewed wine bottle. There’s still a hell lot more annoyance lingering in my veins, but I accept the bottle anyway and chug it down like a pro.
Noah watches me silently, but he doesn’t judge me. He’s never really done that.
Sure, Astraea and Ivy are my best friends in the entire world, but sometimes, I get the feeling that I’m too raw, too untamed which is code for, too much from the wrong side of the tracks.
They’ve never said that about me, and honestly even if they did, I don’t think it would bother me.
I am too much at times.
I have a chip over my shoulder. I am street smart. I’ve had to be with all that I’ve been through, but what bothers me is that I wonder about what they think of me sometimes.
Some of my insecurities are thinking I don’t belong in places sometimes.
Thinking that I’m not wanted, that I don’t matter. That I’m too much.
The thing is, I’ve always been an outsider no matter where I go, but the whole trying to figure out what the most important people in my life think of me, that bothers me.
Not Noah though. He’s always been up front and blunt about what he thinks of me.
“That shit on your face is making you glow in the fucking dark.”
Case in point.
“It’s glow in the dark glitter, asshole. It helps the… clients locate us when the club goes dark.”
“And you still think working there was your fucking life calling? Glowing in the fucking dark of a disgusting club?”
“Not all of us were born with a fucking golden spoon in our mouths.”
“Apparently.”
Fuck, the way he’s looking at me right now, like I’m the villain and he wants to take me down by any means necessary. And tonight, he got a monstrous rise out of me with just a mere flick of his wrist.
“Pass me the burning stuff.”
If this was another day other than what it is—tainted with blood that we can never wash off our palms—then I’m pretty sure he would’ve smiled.
But in this case, he unscrews the cap, raises it to my lips and waits.
As if in a trance, my lips drop open, he steps closer and presses the mouth of the bottle to my lips, but he doesn’t pour.
He waits.
My heart rate spikes up another notch. His eyes filled with rage and so many other emotions that I suddenly can’t read, hold mine captive as they pierce into me. His unease is clear but so is mine.
Can he sense the inner chaos taking place in me? Can he sense my yearning as well?
Tonight, he looks so sensually handsome, rakish-looking and a bit… closed off, I can’t help but ask.
“What?” I demand, even though we agreed never to ask.
“No fucking questions.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“I’ve been sinking in a dark place.”
“I know.”
“Last Hell Day was bad, but tonight…”
“We’ve both been sinking,” I whisper, the admission falling from my lips like a litany.
“I’m going to be hard,” he whispers but his voice carries and smashes into my soul like he just shouted at me. “I’m not going to be gentle.”
His gaze is intense, communicating with me more than his words are. Goose bumps race down my arms all over again.
“You’ve never been gentle and I’ll always demand more.”
“Fuck,” he reaches for me the same second I launch myself at him.
I don’t hear the bottle drop to the ground or anything else for that matter as I wrap my legs around his waist, locking them at the small of his back.
He cups my ass in his palms and squeezes. With a moan, I shove my hands in his hair and start kissing him with a wanton need I’ve never quite felt this acutely.
The thing about Noah, he’s a fucking addictive kisser.
I’ve never been kissed like this before, with a carnality that makes me wet in an instant.
He kisses like he’s fucking me with his tongue, marking me, taking my words and replacing them with his name.
He bites my bottom lip, making me gasp, but with him, I’ve always given him back what he gives me.
I kiss him, then suck on his tongue mimicking the way he wants me to suck his cock.
“Fuck, you little vixen,” he curses. He puts me down for a second, shoves down the joggers I’m wearing. He pauses when he sees the fucking tiny skirt I’m still wearing. “You look fucking hot in this. I had this fucking image in my head of bending you over that table in the middle of that fucking club and sinking balls deep right there and then so they could all see me take you.”
Jesus.
I know I’m soaking wet. I shift my thighs, trying to relieve some of the discomfort.
“Stop that,” Noah demands, his voice low, demanding and brooking no argument. “You won’t be making yourself fucking cum. I do that.”
Shit.
“Come here.”
He picks me up again and starts kissing me like he wants something from me.
I can feel his erection right over my soaking wet pussy. He’s so hard like stone and I want him inside me. Right now! I’m aching.
Driven by something I won’t name right now but somehow tastes like desperation, I grind over him, wanting something more from him than before.
He denied me this last Christmas.
He’s denied me this since well, since the last Friday the 13th and now I feel like I might combust if he doesn’t give me… even a slight reaction.
“I need you, Noah,” I whisper breathlessly on his ear, then I start breathing down his neck before inhaling his rich, enticing scent that drives me wild and out of my fucking mind for a reason I can’t explain. “Please.”
I feel him tense, but I don’t stop. I bite his earlobe, then press my lips hard against his as I reach for the fly of his jeans, quickly unbuttoning it and then sliding down the zipper.
At the same time, I feel him hiking up the short skirt I’m wearing, then he slides a hand over my bare ass and then… to my soaking wet cunt.
I hiss.
“Fucking soaked,” he whispers, playing with my clit, applying just a bit of pressure to make me feel like I’m going to explode but not enough at the same time as if to remind me that I cum when he says so.
“It’s you,” I admit.
“Fuck yes, it’s me.”
He slides his ringed thumb inside me, and I almost jump at the sensation. I lean over and rest my forehead over his, hanging on like a fucking koala as I clench down on his thumb.
“Take me out,” he demands.
Like a hussy, I rush to reach in his jeans and just as I thought, he’s commando. Softly and tenderly, his thick, hard and long cock falls heavily in my palm and he groans.
I squeeze him gently, only to pause when I feel something else.
“You got a dick piercing?”
A hot thrill races down my spine when our gazes connect and lock.
My mouth starts to water as I squeeze him some more, a pained and erotic groan escaping his lips when I wrap both fists around his cock, trusting that he’ll hold me up.
“I wanted to see if you have a gag reflex,” he purrs. His sudden teasing makes me desperate to have him and suddenly, I can’t take it anymore.
“Fuck me, Blue Fairy,” I whisper. “Please.”
“Don’t fucking beg,” he grits out but still, he moves and suddenly, I’m sitting at the edge of the tailgate. Gently but with carnal intent, he spreads my legs until I’m fully exposed to him.
Before I know it, he rips my thong off, exposing me to the silent, sleeping world. I’m aching, shifty, and I feel empty but when I look up at him, I suddenly feel so vulnerable, naked from the waist down, exposed only to him. Only ever to him.
“You have no idea how many times I’ve gone crazy with wanting to come and find you just so I could do this,” he says roughly. “To find you, spread eagle for me, ready for me to make you fucking come for me.”
With his calloused, deft fingers, he parts the lips of my sex. “This cunt…” he trails off, then in a breath, he plunges three fingers into me.
I jump, a silent scream on my tongue.
“Settle down, Kimmy,” he whispers. “Don’t move any part of you, do you understand?”
Mutely, I nod, his fingers holding still in me.
“Good girl,” he purrs. “Now, lose the hoodie.”
“But—”
He silences me with a look so hot, the words just melt. I don’t know how he expects me to remove my hoodie without moving, but I raise my arms and wait.
“You’re going to have to do the rest, Blue Fairy,” I whisper. Noah is an alpha in bed and in life but I’m demanding too.
“That’s my girl. And don’t you fucking move.”
The hoodie is ripped off me, but then he rips apart the skimpy, see through t-shirt I’m wearing and then his mouth covers my tit in the same second that he starts thrusting his fingers in and out so fast, I lose my breath.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I gasp, feeling too much, too soon.
He bites down on my nipple, twists the hardened bud with his teeth and then he hits my G-spot.
I fly apart like fireworks at a freaking fair.
But he doesn’t slow down or give me time to breathe. He thrusts even faster than before, repeatedly hitting my G-spot as if his only focus and agenda tonight is to drive me crazy.
He shifts focus onto my other nipple. It’s like he’s building a hungry storm in me, the hunger building more intense than before until…
I come all over his hand. Again. I bite back my scream.
“This cunt… so fucking responsive. So wet and tight,” he whispers. “And so fucking greedy.”
He slips his fingers out and I watch stunned and frozen as he licks each finger, then his palm.
I shudder, looking up at him. I don’t know what he sees on my face, but he leans forward and takes my lips in a kiss. I can taste myself on his tongue, and he starts fucking me with it, mimicking the way he screwed me with his fingers.
But at some point, the kiss turns into something else.
It feels different than the ones before. It’s not rushed and it’s not slow, it’s just… too much.
Pressure starts building in my chest.
“I’m not done with you,” he murmurs against my lips. “I’ve never been done with you.”
My sex ripples, the rawness of his words almost pushing me to the brink of another orgasm.
Something bubbles up in my chest. I can hardly remember what day this is as I stare into his eyes, panting and ready. The sexual tension, the way he’s watching me, I can already see where this night is taking us. A primal, hot, sweaty and explosive night.
I’m proven right when I feel his thumb at my clit, rubbing it, circling it, strumming a symphony that starts a thready moan from within me as only he can.
All through this, we don’t break gaze. I reach for his hard pierced cock, stroking the head. Pre-cum leaks at the head, but I want more.
As the tension starts building in me, he smirks. I want him to go over the edge with me. I just want him.
“Fuck,” he whispers hotly. “Slow down.”
“No way.” I grin. “Let me rock your world.”
“Then do it right, Kim Possible.”
Fucking bet.
I pump him, holding his gaze through it all. I’m literally unable to look away, unable to go through this chaos that he’s weaving as my hips start pumping along to the way he’s applying pressure to my clit, without him anchoring me.
But I want more.
Pushing him away, I drop down from the tailgate then quickly switch with him. Pushing him down to take my previous spot, I climb over him, my knees on either side of him.
Noah catches me, holding my gaze. “What’s the game plan?”
“Climb up your fucking sexy body and then take you deep inside me until you cum with my name on your lips.”
“That mouth, fuck me.”
“Yes, sir.”
I’m panting in anticipation, almost shaking with the need, driven by the rush of emotions I’m doing my best to bury.
I wrap my fingers around him, positioning the head of his beautiful cock against my slick, wet pussy. I lean in, wanting to scent him. I love the way he smells naturally but when he’s aroused… it’s a seductive mix that awakens every need in me that’s screaming to have him.
I start to slowly sink down, adjusting to the wicked sensation of his piercing inside me.
Besides that, it’s been a while since I had him, so that I need to shift from side to side, but I’m too feverish, too hot and aroused to care that Noah is big and he comes with a bite of pain. Physically and emotionally.
“Oh fuck,” I gasp.
“You can take me.” Noah snakes an arm around my waist, pulling me closer right before he whispers, “Allow me.”
He thrusts up as I push down and my senses go into overdrive.
“Fuck!” we both hiss.
The bite of pain, the excruciating deliciousness of his possession, I revel it all. I cling to him like I never want to let him go, staring into his eyes as he looks up at me with brazen eyes that make me fall for him all over again.
This man…
There’s no time to adjust, no time for anything as he fills me to the hilt and like the sex machine that he is, he starts pumping me with deep, measured thrusts, topping me from the fucking bottom. His fingers grips my hips, positioning me the way he wants me.
“So fucking tight,” he purrs. “When was the last—”
“You. Friday the 13th.”
Pressing my palm flat against his chest, I meet him thrust for thrust, clenching down on his cock, wanting to drive him crazy and feeling amazingly stretched.
“Ride me, beautiful girl,” he bites out, his neck arched and I love that strain.
I love the way his lips part with a silent gasp as he watches me.
It drives me crazy when I see the way his eyes are dilated, but it’s the lust that flares in his eyes as he looks at me that makes me breathless.
He wants me.
For sex, not for anything else beyond this.
The pain I thought he’d successfully buried after what he did earlier starts filtering back.
I feel the sting of his rejection from before.
I remember the look he gave me when he found out who my father is.
Shame blooms in my chest and I look away.
“Don’t fucking look away from me.”
I close my eyes instead, feeling the overwhelming sensation of being had by this man. A man who knows some of the deepest secrets in my life but unlike before, he’s not mine. Not anymore.
“Noah.”
“Don’t, Kimmy.”
I’ve been craving for intimacy with Noah since the last time I had the pleasure of having him, but somehow tonight, especially after the explosive way everything came to a head last Christmas when he accidentally saw the ugly scars on my back, everything feels different.
What is going on tonight? This isn’t usually how we do this, what we do on the 13th.
We never talk. Not much anyway.
We just drink, we smoke, and we fuck the entire night, but this…
“Come back to me,” Noah whispers, snapping me out of my reverie. “Whatever that was, let it go.”
“I’m right here,” I murmur.
“Then fucking show me, Kimmy.”
I do just that. Sweat mists on my skin, as I push him back, gaining the leverage I need to ride him. I can feel his heart thundering under my palm. I start rising and falling, feeling his temperature rise under me. Lust pulses through me, and instinct just takes over.
“Ah fuck!” Noah breathes. “Just like that. Take it out on me.”
I feel wild for him, and I’m sure I’m half-crazy in love with him but I’m fully aware that no matter how fucking good this is, how high he gets me, I can’t ever tell him a damn thing. So, I do take out my frustrations on him.
He shifts me into an angle of his liking until each thrust hits the sweet, tender spot in me. His piercing heightens the feeling and I start trembling, stunned that he doesn’t touch my clit at all, but I’m about to come from just his expert thrusts.
“Oh God,” I gasp.
“Not God, just a fairy,” he says cockily.
He brings me closer by the nape of my neck. I can feel the orgasm about to explode in me but he’s the only one who knows what I need to get me there.
But instead, he just holds my gaze. I can feel the spasms begin in my core and then it becomes full blown.
He watches me fall apart, holding my gaze, daring me to look away or close my eyes.
Suddenly, I feel vulnerable, possessed and undone by his stare.
I moan and come harder than I have ever done before as my body jerks with each pulse of pleasure. He holds me down, forcing me to take it, to take the pleasure only he can dole out. Noah understands the way my body works, and he loves prolonging my orgasms each time he fucks me.
Then it’s his turn.
“Ah shit!” he grits out, chasing my orgasm with his own. He grabs my hips and I’m pretty sure it’s going to leave a bruise, but fuck, I love it.
He screws me deeper, harder, faster, hitting the end of me with every thrust. I can feel him growing harder and thicker inside me. And just like that, I come again, but this time I do it while watching him go over the edge.
His eyes are wild with his need, losing their focus on me. I can feel his control slipping, as the savage I always knew was just underneath the gorgeous exterior shows his beautiful face.
“Kimberly!”
He’s a man exposed in the throes of orgasm, and for a moment, it feels like everything is going to be just fine.
He comes with a growl, the sound of male ecstasy, but it’s the look on his face that steals my breath away.
His features seem to soften. The rage seems to melt, the anguish and biting agony that this day brings seems to thaw and for just an instant there’s an unexpected vulnerability that rocks through me.
He shakes as the orgasm tears through his body, the shockwaves moving into me.
But just when I think he’s done, he starts all over again.
He starts out slow, careful until his pace picks up, becoming brutal and fast and soon, I’m purring, ready to fall over.
“Come for me,” he groans in my ear and there I go.
“Fuck!” I scream.
I can’t help but cup his face in the palm of my hand, then lean over to brush my lips across his, wanting him to know that he’s not alone in this. His hot breath blows over my face.
“Fuck, Kimmy,” he breathes.
He wraps his arms around me and crushes me to his chest and this is the part that has me falling over a cliff for him. The part where he holds me close, still deep inside, his cum slipping out as we catch our breath.
Raw and real. That what we’ve always been.
For a second, I listen to his heartbeat. I listen to him catch his breath. I feel him playing with my hair and still, I feel stripped down for some reason.
That was incredible, but I just can’t shake this feeling. As soon as I catch my breath, I get up, grab my hoodie and then pull down my skirt as the wind picks up.
“I’m sure Emmett keeps baby wipes somewhere in the car.”
I nod and make my way to the front of the car. Guessing correctly, I open the one of the compartments and alas, there are baby wipes, mints, a box of tissues and freaking bottles of water.
“Emmett is a saint.”
“He’s crazy.” I hear from behind me.
Noah reaches past me, grabs the baby wipes, then he turns me around to face him. With a care that unnerves me, he hikes up my left leg, and starts cleaning himself off all while holding my gaze.
“Noah…”
“Shh.”
I bite my bottom lip, watching him as he cleans me up. He always does this. Always.
But before I can allow myself to feel the bubbles of his care, I have to ask.
“Now that you got what you wanted, what was that, Noah?” I whisper, my breath catching.
I want him to tell me that was forgiveness. I want him to tell me that he no longer sees me as a villain, a liar or someone who would betray him, because Jesus, he’s never fucked me like he just did.
But that’s not what he says.
“Hell Day… you and me… this is the last time we ever do this.”
And there it is, the other shoe. I bite down the unexpected sting of tears.
“Okay,” I mutter, feeling proud of myself when my voice comes out strong and sure.
Ignoring him, I start looking around for my joggers, keeping the humiliation at bay.
“Okay?” He steps back, watching me with a guarded look on his face. “That’s all you have to say?”
“It’s not like you and I beat about the bush with this shit,” I say impassively, grabbing the only unruined bottle of alcohol left. Vodka! I unscrew the cap and take a swig. “You came in and wrecked my life, fucked me, and now you want me to what? Fall on my knees and beg you to pity fuck me on the worst/best day of my life every fucking year as a cover to your own misery and guilt?”
“Nah, you’re not the begging type, are you, Kimmy?” he says softly, grabbing his jeans. Then he searches for something in the pockets. “You don’t beg. You do whatever you want just to get ahead, by any means necessary. Isn’t that fucking right?”
That stings. It stings more than it should. But then again, as far as my soul is concerned, Noah always does more that he should.
“Ahh, so that’s what this is? You hate me. You resent me… but still you can’t help but want me.” I scoff, watching him light up a joint. “You’re pathetic.”
“I might be pathetic, but you should’ve seen the way you looked when you came for me,” he purrs in my ear, then blows smoke in my face.
“As compared to the way you groaned and then roared my name when I clenched down on your cock, Blue Fairy?” I whisper, my voice sultry and low.
“You know how your cunt gripped my cock?”
With desperation and longing…
“Yeah, well you might as well keep that memory because it’s NEVER going to happen, ever again!”
“So we’re on the same fucking page.”
Same page? What the fuck does that even mean…
“You came back to a town you said you were done with, looked for me, screwed me in the back of Emmett’s car—”
“You ruined mine.”
“—like I’m a joke to you? Do you think I’m your sex doll?”
“A sex doll? Don’t be ridiculous,” he smirks but it’s cold, bitter, hurtful and his sign that he’s going in for the kill. “A sex doll doesn’t lie.”
The message is clear and straight forward. See, knowing someone like I know Noah has its incredible positives, but the negatives… they’re catastrophic. The type that aim for your heart with incendiary missiles.
“That’s true,” I whisper, unable to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. “And since we’re comparing me to a powerless, brainless, inanimate object that you can just use and toss aside, I guess we can also say sex dolls don’t have the power to fight back every asshole that puts it down and decides to abuse it. Just like me.”
Powerless and useless.
With that, I quickly rush to the driver’s side of the car, the keys are still in, and without hesitation, I drive away. Leaving him half naked, drunk and alone. As he always is.