Make You Miss Me by B. Celeste

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Idon’t realize I’m absentmindedly touching the necklace until my mom says, “It’s beautiful. Where’d you get it?”

We both know I rarely buy myself things, least of all jewelry. The wooden box resting on my dresser at home was handmade by Dad and filled by Mom and Grandma and a few of my friends who’ve told me that I need more accessories in my life. Even my grandmother’s diamond engagement ring is sitting inside there.

Looking up to see my mother watching me, I murmur, “It was a gift.”

One of her eyebrows arches in curiosity as her gaze drops back down to the blue gem set inside a silver pendant. “From…?”

I reach for the coffee she’d poured us when I got to her house fifteen minutes ago. “It’s from someone who’s…special to me.”

Mom blinks.

Blinks again.

Then…smiles. Beams would probably be a better term. “A male someone, I presume?”

I roll my eyes, something she’d usually scold me for but she’s too busy trying to wrap her head around the thought of me with somebody again after so long. “Yes. His name is Fletcher.”

It doesn’t take long for that smile to twitch and waver until it’s minuscule in comparison to the wide curve it was. “That’s an interesting name.”

“It’s a military name,” I offer, focusing on the coffee in front of me and not the face my mother is probably making.

“Military.” Her tone is off but not completely displeased. Surprised, maybe. Definitely skeptical. But nothing I can’t work with.

“Yes.”

Then the sigh comes. “Stevie—”

I make myself look at her. “Before you say anything, know that Fletcher is a wonderful man. He treats me well.”

Her eyes are sympathetic as she pushes her coffee away from her. “Sweetie, you said the same thing about Hunter.”

My heart drops to the bottom of my ribcage. “That isn’t fair.”

“I’m not trying to hurt your feelings. I’m simply saying that military men are not always the best to be with. I thought you’d learned that lesson already the hard way.”

Eye twitching, I take a long, deep breath before letting myself answer. “Mother, I love you. I value your opinion—” Most times. “—but you can’t compare Fletcher to Hunter. There is no comparison. Trust me, I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. And shouldn’t you be happy? You’ve been bugging me to date for a long time. I’m finally doing it.”

“But not with someone like him.”

Defense flares in my chest as I wrap my fingers tightly around the coffee mug and feel the slight bite of pain from the hot liquid inside of it. “You don’t even know Fletcher, so you can’t accuse him of being wrong for me. You’d like him, Mom. Really.”

“I just want—”

“What’s best for me,” I finish for her, almost coolly. “I know you do. You love me, you want what’s best for me, but sometimes that means letting me make my own decisions without inserting your opinion every step of the way or trying to deter me from making choices you don’t approve of.”

This time, she’s quiet.

My hand goes back to the necklace. “I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve thought about this. Fletcher. A relationship with him, and about relationships in general.” Eyes moving over to her distantly, I lift a shoulder. “I like him, and that scares me. I like that he respects me, but I’m afraid that will go away some day. He’s done nothing to prove it will. It’s everything that happened with Hunter that makes me feel that way. And it isn’t fair to judge Fletcher, to make any kind of assumption that he’d eventually treat me the same way as the first man I loved, just because of my baggage.”

I know I’d hate being compared to a man’s ex simply because she’d done him wrong in the past. But, if Fletcher can look at me without seeing Traci, without getting lost in whatever they had—even if it wasn’t nearly as serious as what I’d had with Hunter—then I owe him the same. It’ll be hard, and I’ve certainly failed way too many times already, but I can try.

Try harder.

Try because I know it’s right.

If he’s willing to be patient with me while I figure out how to deal with my thoughts, then he’s already somebody worthy of staying in my life. No matter what Mom thinks.

“I want to be happy,” I tell my mother, my voice barely above a whisper. My eyes flick up, giving her a timid look. “And sometimes, even now, I still don’t know if that’s possible.”

Her hand reaches out, cupping mine. “It is. Stevie, you’re going to be happy one day. Look at everything you’ve already done for yourself since…things happened. If I haven’t told you recently, I’m proud of you. I want you to be happy too.”

I swallow, licking my dry lips and nodding. “Then you should give Fletcher a chance. For me. He’s already seen me breakdown on more than one occasion over Hunter, and he’s still here. Still in my life. Why, I don’t know. But he’s a great man. A wonderful person.”

“Is he…still active?”

I don’t feel like telling her what his role in the Army was, so I simply shake my head. “No. He retired to take care of his son.”

Her eyes widen. “He’s a dad?” Those widened eyes quickly narrow. “Wait a minute. Is this the man Victoria mentioned before?”

All I do is press my lips together.

“You teach his son, don’t you?”

I nod again.

I’m not sure what she’s thinking, but I don’t like the look in her eyes. They’re wary and full of concern, a look I’ve gotten used to seeing aimed at me by her and a lot of other people over the past couple of years. “Please be careful, Stevie. If you…if this Fletcher is who you want, then I’ll support you no matter what. I’m always going to be Team Stevie. Okay?”

Letting go of my coffee, I put my hand on top of hers and squeeze. “Thank you, Mom. That means a lot to me.”

We’re quiet for a few minutes as we hold hands, letting our coffees cool before her fingers twitch under my palm. “Can I ask you something, sweetie?”

Nervousness makes the nod I give her weigh down my skull as it moves up and down slowly.

She hesitates. “Do you think part of the reason you’re attracted to this man is because of his background? Because he’s a father.” My lips part by the question, but she quickly adds, “Please don’t take that the wrong way. I don’t mean anything bad by it. I want to make sure that the reasons are something you can live with and not something you’re searching for.”

I didn’t expect her to ask that. I’ve never even given much thought to it. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with either of those things.

“I was actually hesitant because of his previous employment,” I admit to her, staring at our hands. “I had no interest wrapping myself up in another military man. In fact, it scared me for a lot of reasons that I don’t want to get into right now if that’s all right. As for Nicki—Dominic, that’s his son—he’s a great kid, Mom. And Fletcher as a father is definitely a big reason why I…care for him. But it’s not because he’s a father. It’s because of what kind of father he is. He loves Nicki so much. He’d do anything for him. Sacrifice his job. The life he lived for years, all to focus on his child. I admire him a lot for the choices he made to be a better man, a better parent, to Nicki.”

Mom watches me carefully, absorbing my answer, dissecting it with her eyes and silent thoughts, before squeezing my hand. “Okay.”

Okay.

She eventually asks, “Does your father know?”

All I do is shake my head.

A secretive smile reappears.