Sacrificing his Highland Heart by Kenna Kendrick
Chapter Twenty-Six
When Euan saw Rose leaping towards them into the fray of the battle, his heart flipped in fear. For a few seconds, his hands reached out to catch her and bring her against his chest to protect her. But then he remembered what she had done, and he recoiled, ready for battle. But then she started speaking, and he couldn’t believe what she was saying. She pushed herself back up against him, and she pulled that tiny blade out of the pocket of her dress. He almost smirked.
They had not yet practiced her sword work as she had requested because their relationship thus far had been somewhat tumultuous. One minute they were affectionate and passionate, and the next minute they were back to the cold distance that had been there from the beginning.
“Stand aside, lass,” he said when he could tell that Henry wasn’t listening to any of her nonsense. For it must be nonsense. Everything she said was merely to end the battle, not because she truly loved him and wanted to be Lady Rede. He didn’t want her to stay with him anymore, but he didn’t want to see her get hurt. So, he gently touched her arm, hoping to make her move back and put her blade down. He’d like nothing more than to see her running her own brother through, but that was likely not going to happen, what with her loyalty and lack of fighting skills.
“No.” She turned to look at him, and he could see her eyes, clear and bright, without a hint of deception in them. But could he trust himself to know when she was deceiving him? “If you will not see, Henry, what damage you have done and continue to do, then there is no other choice but to take my own life to teach you that lesson!” When she uttered those words, his heart leaped again, and he knew he couldn’t let this happen. He watched in horror as she tilted the blade as if to push it into her chest.
Henry looked dumbstruck for a few seconds, and his eyes narrowed in confusion. He glanced at Euan as if to get the man to confirm what she was saying. Both were frozen for a few seconds.
“Rose, please,” he started, reaching out for her, but the look she gave him was enough to silence him on the spot. Her eyes were always like windows into her inner world, always instantly revealing what she felt inside. It was too bad that he couldn’t see her eyes when she called out that she loved him. Then he would be able to know the truth, even if it seemed entirely unbelievable. “No, Euan. If we are going to keep the peace, which I think is wanted by both sides,” she said, again in that clear, loud voice, confident voice. The voice was worthy of a mighty clanswoman. “We must do what is necessary,” she continued, “even if it is despicable to either party.” She raised a brow in his direction, and he swallowed, knowing just what she was referring to. He was ashamed of himself at that moment, knowing that she meant when he decided to bed her. It was despicable because of from whence she hailed, but it was to get an heir, even though it later became so much more than that. Euan was struck speechless just as Henry was. She turned back to Henry, who paled.
“Rose, I beg you, sister, do not do this.” He dropped his own sword to the ground and lifted his hands in the air. “I am finished. The battle is over. There will be no more fighting.”
Euan copied Henry’s movements, dropping his blade to the ground, feeling hollowed out inside with fear.
There was a brief, painful silence until Rose removed the blade from her chest, and both Henry and Euan sighed in relief. Henry rushed toward her to embrace her, but she kept him at arm’s length and put the blade in her pocket. “I am glad that you have come to your senses, for there must have been some terrible misunderstanding. You are family, so you may come as a guest to Rede Castle whenever you please. You can be a guest now if you so choose, and we can put all these thoughts of bloodshed and revenge aside. We are still unified, and we have an alliance, a strong one. That is what both our families need.”
Again, the silence was deafening and lasted for some time before Henry straightened, and looking slightly fatigued, called out to his men, “Arthur, tell the men that we have come to a truce. You are right, Rose.”
“And ye, Walter. Go tae Angus, tae tell him the result,” Euan agreed, and to show his good faith, he picked up his father’s sword and sheathed it, and Henry did the same. Euan’s heart was still pounding. He had been so shocked at Rose’s attempt to kill herself for him, for his clan. To Euan’s surprise, he was glad that they weren’t to fight. He was tired and reeling from the powerful emotions that had wracked his brain from one moment to the next. The men parted, and they turned to their own, attending to wounds, and killed men.
What a waste.
He turned back to Rose when he could feel her hand slipping inside of his. She squeezed it, but he pulled away. He backed away, and the words he wanted to say were in his mind, but he couldn’t get them out. He wasn’t sure what he felt. He was terrified that she would die, but could he instantly forgive her betrayal? Rose’s face fell as if she hoped that all could be well after the battle was ended, but it couldn’t be. Not yet. He wasn’t sure what to think now.
“There will be a feast,” Rose said. “Your men, Henry, will be fed just as well as ours.”
Henry nodded, and she turned to leave through the hall, likely to alert the servants that all was well. Euan ran after her after giving a few directions to his men. “Ye cannae simply run away. There are still warriors around the castle. Ye could get hurt!” he called to Rose as he caught up with her and pulled on her arm.
This time, it was she who pulled away, and she looked at him with scorn in her eyes. He knew just what she was feeling now. “Is there no gratitude, Euan, for what I have done to help you? I may have saved your life and many others, and yet you treat me with disdain as if I am the worst person, you have ever met! Despite all the things I said to you upstairs when you locked me away.”
“All I know is yer betrayal, lass, and the fact that ye nearly killed yerself!” Euan replied, even though he knew Rose was right. “But ye are correct. I should be thanking ye for yer help. I didnae want the battle as much in the end.”
Rose stiffened, looking satisfied with Euan’s response. “So, I go to free the servants and tell them that all is well. They need to begin the feast, and we need to create space for the wounded. I will send a message to Siobhan as well to get her to come and help us. For now, we will revel in this peace we have found.”
She started to walk again, and he hurried after her. “But ye must nae yet roam the castle freely, for there are still warriors unaware of our peace.”
“Then come with me,” she said in her newfound commanding tone, and without waiting for him to reply, he stomped after her, down the steps and towards the kitchen. He tried to ignore just how much he wanted her physically, even after all that had happened. He yearned for a woman whose strength was enough to rival his own, if not to defeat it. They made it to the kitchen, where he met his guards.
“Peace has been reached. Free the servants and then return tae the men. We will need help tae carry the dead and wounded.”
The men hurried to do their laird’s bidding, and Euan noted their expressions of relief. A Scottish warrior would never verbally admit to such relief, but Euan knew what their expressions meant. He could understand it wholeheartedly. There had already been too much death and battle of late.
* * *
Rose kept her face forward towards the locked doors of the kitchens. The guards were working to unlock the chains, and she needed something else to focus on. A feast would be a fine thing, indeed, and at least for a time, it could get her to stop thinking about how she would have to return to England. After she’d saved everyone by getting Henry and Euan to stop fighting, she had hoped that Euan would accept her. He seemed rather eager for peace, more than she’d expected, but instead, he had recoiled at her touch. She knew she’d surprised them both by her threat to take her own life, but she had been certain neither of them would have let her go through with it. Had she made her own problems with Euan even worse?
The urge to burst into tears had been great, but instead, she’d walked away, and now he was following her, still solicitous about her safety. It was infuriating, though. She didn’t want his kindness if he wasn’t going to give her his love.
So, she kept facing forward because his nearness was too difficult to resist. It always was, but now it was even worse because she knew their time together was running out. She would have to come to terms with the fact that she would never be with Euan again, physically or otherwise. The guards finally got the door open, and when they did, Euan and Rose hurried inside. She turned her head back and forth.
“There is peace! You may come out!” She clutched a hand to her chest. The room was so silent that she worried they had been taken from another entrance, seized and killed, or just held hostage. But slowly, surely, each person came out of their hiding place. Susan emerged from one of the stone pantries.
“Och, my lady!” She cried, rushing towards Rose with her arms outstretched. As they embraced, Rose smiled and felt tears in her eyes at the same time. She didn’t realize that she had come to care for Susan and her welfare so very much.
“Ye are well?” Susan asked as she pulled away. The young girl blushed as she removed her hands from Rose’s shoulders. “Forgive me, my lady. I donnae mean tae be so….”
Rose smiled and squeezed Susan’s hand. “You are not too anything, Susan. I am well and glad to see that you all are well!” She turned to look at the other emerging figures. “We have found peace, and I must ask your forgiveness for the foolish actions of my brother. It will not happen again. That I can swear to you now.”
When she finished her speech, she locked eyes with Euan, who was watching her intently. She swallowed and looked away. Susan said, “I shall prepare a bath for ye, my lady.”
“No, not just yet.” Rose raised her voice again. “There are many ill and wounded. We will need all the help we can procure. There will also be a feast today as well. It will be just the family, but we will need food for both my brother’s soldiers as well as Laird Rede’s. We need rooms and areas prepared for men to sleep as well as to rest and for Siobhan the healer to take care of them.”
Euan broke in. “Aye. We can depend upon all of ye tae assist as need be. I should like the strongest of the lads here tae come and help me with the injured and the dead.”
Rose liked the sound of his commanding voice. She saw the blade glinting at his side, the sweat still clinging to his arms and to his neck. She wanted to look away because she could feel her desire for him getting out of control, but she couldn’t.
“Aye, laird,” the men replied, and they left the kitchens with Euan at the head. He had barely spared her a glance goodbye.
“Susan, can ye please get water boiling? And we will need to find cloth and as many herbs as possible to help prepare for the wounded. We need to ask James, the groomsman, to bring straw for beds. I will write a message to Siobhan and ask her to come. Will you have it sent for me?”
“Of course, my lady,” Susan said confidently. She turned to the other kitchen maids and dispatched orders. The older cook pulled a bucket from the wall and bid a young boy go and fetch water from the well. “I will come with ye upstairs, and I will take the message tae the man as soon as ye’ve written it. Perhaps James can ride the message tae the village as well. He is young, but he is good and clever enough. The other stronger boys will have been taken by the laird.”
“Of course. Thank you, Susan.” Rose was amazed at how strong and confident Susan was when she needed to be. Together they went upstairs amid a flurry of activity to find her study. She spotted Henry commanding his men to do various things, and she moved away from him. She didn’t want to speak to him just yet to explain her words. They were all true, but she knew that Henry would do his best to make her feel guilty about them, and he might even be furious that she jumped into his well-planned, if not foolish, battle.
In the study, Rose hurriedly scrawled a note to Siobhan and handed it to Susan. “I will take care of it, my lady,” Susan said solemnly.
“Thank you.”
After Siobhan left, Rose remained and turned to look outside the window at the ocean. She could hardly see it in the faint moonlight, but she could hear it. And when she opened the glass pane, she could feel the cool breeze and smell its salty sweetness. She took a breath.
Even though it seemed hopeless, she could still feel a tiny ember of hope flickering in her chest. Maybe after the feast, after the evening, once everything had calmed, Euan would forgive her? He might give her a chance to speak again and tell her just how much she wanted to remain there. And then they could begin their lives together.
Rose crossed her arms tightly. It felt comfortable to do so because it helped to dull some of the ache in her heart. There was still the chance that he would refuse, and then she would be doomed to a life without him, without the man she loved with every fiber of her being.
