Flipping the Switch by Brigham Vaughn

THREE

“I don’t know why you waste your time with that shit.” Mike Christensen’s caustic words followed Tony into the barn out back.

Tony didn’t bother to answer his father. What was the point? He would never understand that Tony didn’t give a shit about the towing business or the scrap metal yard their family owned. It was a familiar refrain. It didn’t matter how many times Tony tried to explain it, his father never understood. In his younger days, Mike had been a gregarious guy, loud and outgoing. Now that his health had declined, he resented not being able to have a hand in the business he’d started.

Tony though? Well, he was better with words in his head than trying to get them out. And he hated every moment of running his father’s business.

Growing up, kids had called him stupid. Picked on him for being shy and quiet. It had only stopped when he’d gotten big enough to fight back. A few fistfights later, all he had to do was glare and make them want to crap their pants. He was big, but in the end, he was a lover not a fighter, and he’d been happy to retreat into his own little world again.

He’d had plans for himself when he graduated high school. He was going to work for his dad for a couple of years, save up some money, then get the hell out of Pendleton. Hadn’t worked out that way though. He was pushing thirty and stuck in the same house he’d grown up in.

Tonight, the late-evening air was cool as he crossed the yard and he shivered in the heavy cable-knit sweater he wore. Thankfully, the barn had a small space heater, but it would soon be time for heavy winter overcoats and warm stocking caps. But no matter how deep the snow got, Tony trudged to the barn every night to the only place where he could find peace.

He unlocked the padlock on the weathered barn door, then tucked his keys in his pocket. He wasn’t sure why he bothered to secure it so tightly anymore. The only other person who lived in the house was his father and he barely went out to the back deck, much less the several hundred yards to the barn.

Tony’s workshop was quiet, the only sound the hum of the overhead fluorescent light. A peaceful feeling settled over him like a soothing blanket as he closed the door behind him, latching it. Drawing in a deep breath filled his lungs with the faint dusty smell of the horses the barn had once held and the scent of fresh sawdust.

Someday, Tony would love to have a newly built space with a nice dust extractor. In a barn like this, he was forever having to sand down the surface of his projects to make sure the finish was just right. But he didn’t mind. He liked being out here. It was the only time he wasn’t reminded that very little in his life had turned out the way he’d hoped.

He pushed up his sleeves as he approached the workbench. The project he’d been working on sat under a small tent that kept most of the dust off the wet layer of polyurethane finish he’d carefully brushed on last night. He skimmed a palm along the surface of the now dry paddle, feeling the satiny surface, knowing there would likely be a small catch if any dust had made it onto the surface before it dried. Ahh yep, there it was, the little burr marring the otherwise flawless surface. That wouldn’t do. He flipped on the space heater, then reached for a piece of steel wool.

His mind wandered as he gently buffed the paddle.

He’d begun woodworking as a kid, starting with the usual simple birdhouse and basic trunk, and going from there. He’d gotten into cutting boards and wooden spoons, rolling pins. Kitchen tools were simple. Low effort but satisfying.

He’d branched out into kink implements completely by accident. He’d been just out of high school, laughing and joking around with a friend who grabbed a handled cutting board that Tony had just made and walloped him on the ass with it.

Tony had hollered and pretended like he’d hated it, but it had made him realize something pretty big about himself. He’d already known he was gay, but the kink thing had surprised him. Especially because everyone took one look at him and assumed he was the one who wanted to be in charge in the bedroom. He’d played the role of Dom a few times, but he didn’t really enjoy telling guys what to do. He was much more comfortable on the submissive side of things.

After that playful spanking from a friend, he’d done a lot of research on kink tools and begun making them himself.

The sad thing was, Tony spent far more time making them than having them used on him. Finding the right guy to wield the toys was hard, and at this point, Tony felt like he’d gone through most of the kinky guys in Pendleton. None of them were bad, just not right for him.

Tony had run across one bad one though, a few years ago, who was in town on vacation. Martin Jones had messaged Tony on the kink app he used, and Tony had been so flattered by the attention of a handsome Dom he’d skipped a few of the steps he was supposed to take to make sure he was safe and dove in.

He’d left … bruised.

And not the way he was supposed to be. Martin had been pushy, barreling right through Tony’s limits until he began to question if he’d set them at all. They’d played a few times before he pushed Tony so far that he knew the guy was bad news. The rage he’d seen on Martin’s face when Tony called red was terrifying, and Tony was pretty sure if he’d been a smaller guy, he’d have gotten himself permanently injured.

Shaken and unsure if he even wanted to continue, he’d stepped away from kink for a while. But eventually, his need for submission had pushed him to try again. That time, he’d hooked up with someone who’d recently moved to Pendleton.

Jarod Keener had been … well, a lot. Oh, he wasn’t a bad Dom by any means. He wasn’t abusive or out of control. He was actually quite kind. But Tony had been too rattled to relax into it and the sex had felt more vanilla than kinky.

Tony should have told Jarod about his experience with Martin, but Jarod intimidated him and he hadn’t wanted to seem soft and weak, so he hadn’t said anything those first few times they’d hooked up. Jarod had always seemed to be holding himself back and Tony got all up in his head worrying that he was bored because Tony wasn’t adventurous or masochistic enough. After that the messages from Jarod had trailed off.

Tony had hoped that they could try again at some point, but now Jarod was shacked up with the town’s accountant. They seemed happy so Tony tried to be happy for them. It was great when people found what they were looking for. It just seemed to happen for everyone but him.

He sighed and returned his attention to the paddle, using a slightly sticky tack cloth to gather up any loose bits of dust.

These days he made paddles, humblers, and big pieces of custom kink furniture, but he didn’t get to enjoy them himself.

His most recent hookup, Jude, had been fun though. Maybe Tony should message him again. It had been a while, but Jude had said he was busy with his restaurant renovation. Hopefully, that hadn’t just been a blowoff.

Tony dusted off his hands, then reached for his phone. He logged into the app and searched for his previous messages with Jude.

Tony smiled at his username of YourSwitchyDream as he typed out a message.

BigSubbyBottom: Hey, how’ve you been?

Jude didn’t respond. Tony waited long enough to feel pathetic, then set down his phone and resumed working. He tried not to take the lack of response personally, but as the minutes stretched into an hour, hope plummeted.

What did he expect?

Jude Maddox was one hundred percent out of Tony’s league. Tall, blond, handsome, and rich. And a chef to boot. He’d been nice though. Patient. When Tony had haltingly confessed that he’d had a bad experience in the past, Jude had seemed genuinely concerned. He’d asked all sorts of questions about what Tony wanted. About what was enough, what was too much.

After his previous messages went unanswered, Tony assumed Jude, like everyone else, had grown bored with him. Clearly that was the case.

But when the phone vibrated on the worktop bench, hope leapt inside Tony’s chest again.

YourSwitchyDream:Hey! Sorry I haven’t been on much. Working on the restaurant project which is eating up all my time. How are you?

Relieved, Tony smiled. Maybe Jude really had just been too busy lately.

BigSubbyBottom:Okay. Just working a lot too. Wanted to see if you wanted to get together sometime.

YourSwitchyDream:Yes! I’d love that. How about tonight?

Tony glanced at the time. It was getting late, and he got up early most days but … fuck it. It had been too long.

BigSubbyBottom: Your place again?

Since Tony couldn’t host, if Jude said no, that was going to be difficult.

YourSwitchyDream: Works for me.

BigSubbyBottom: Give me 45.

YourSwitchyDream: I’ll be waiting …

Tony tidied up quickly, then locked the barn. He dusted off his clothing as he walked quickly toward the house, heart beating overtime as he thought about the night ahead.

He showered as quickly as he could, and his skin was still damp when he tugged on clean clothes. He didn’t worry about what he’d be wearing, knowing that it would come off quickly anyway.

He jogged down the stairs to find his father in his recliner in the living room. Where he always was.

“I’m going out,” Tony said.

Mike looked up from the TV. “What if I need something?”

He had water and a snack on the table by his elbow, a cane next to the chair, and his cell phone was within reaching distance. “Call me. I’ll try to keep an eye on my phone. If it’s an emergency, call Mary. You know she’d run over to help in a heartbeat.”

Tony relied on their neighbor to check in on his father when he was gone during the day. She was retired and went out even less than Tony.

“Still don’t know why you need to leave,” his father groused. “Where are you off to anyway?”

“Just meeting some friends.”

It was as close to the truth as Tony could get. His father knew he was gay, but Tony wasn’t really sure if he cared about that or not. For the most part he ignored it, like it was mildly annoying news that wasn’t important enough to bother with.

“You go out too much. You should be saving your money, not throwing it around.”

Tony rolled his eyes. He might not have a plan for his future, but he had more money than he knew what to do with. He’d made Christensen’s towing company and scrap metal yard a success—and his side hustle was a surprisingly solid earner. Even with what he paid a local guy, Joseph Lynch, to pretend to be the face of the woodworking business, he was still earning a good income from it.

Could be even bigger and pull in a lot more income, if Tony worked at it full-time. But he already ran himself ragged trying to do everything. He hardly ever went out either, so he didn’t know what his father was complaining about.

“I’ll be home late,” Tony said. “Have a good night.”

“I won’t sleep until you get home,” Mike called out as Tony walked away without another word. It wasn’t worth arguing about. Tony would come home to find his father snoring in the easy chair. The next morning he’d bitch that he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep. Tony would just nod and apologize because it was easier than arguing.

After he got in his truck, Tony sat there a moment, feeling the weight of his home life press down on him, smothering his excitement about the night. Maybe he should just give up. Stop trying. What was the point of making an effort to meet guys who were always dissatisfied with who he was?

Why would this time be any different? He reached for the door handle just as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked it to find a message from Jude.

YourSwitchyDream:Hurry up and get your butt over here. I’m hard already just thinking about what I’m going to do to you …

Tony glanced at the clock. He had plenty of time to make it to Jude’s place so it wasn’t like he was late. Jude was just eager to see him. That put a smile on Tony’s face as he tucked his phone away and started the truck.

* * *

“Fuck it’s good to see you.” Jude skimmed his hands down Tony’s back, his lips still wet and shiny from kissing.

Tony wanted to kiss him again. Jude was a great kisser.

Jude brushed Tony’s hair off his forehead. “I am sorry I kind of flaked on you for a while.”

“It’s okay.” This was only casual, so Tony hadn’t really expected anything else.

A little frown appeared on Jude’s face. “No, it isn’t. You’re a great guy, and you deserve better. I didn’t mean to leave your messages unread.”

Tony smiled at that, relieved. “Honestly, it’s okay. I get it. Sometimes I get caught up in work too.”

“But”—Jude dropped another kiss on his lips—“I mean it. I had fun last time. I was hoping you’d be up for this again.”

“I’m always up for this,” Tony said. He hid a wince, realizing how pathetic that sounded.

But Jude’s eyes lit up. “Good. Me too.” He circled Tony’s wrist with his hand. “C’mon. Bedroom.” His tone was firm.

That voice made Tony shiver a little as he trotted obediently behind Jude. He could do that at the drop of a hat. Be all light and flirty and sexy, then go stern and commanding. Tony loved that.

“Strip.”

They’d barely gotten in the bedroom before the order left Jude’s lips, so Tony stripped off his clothes as fast as he could manage and piled them on a chair nearby. Jude tore off his shirt too, leaving him barefoot, in nothing but jeans.

He really was ridiculously beautiful. All that hard, lean muscle and smooth skin. Tony felt bulky and awkward beside him. But Jude’s cock pushed at his fly already, and he licked his lips as Tony stood in front of him, waiting for his next command.

Tony was fit. He worked out a lot and he didn’t mind being naked. Especially when a guy like Jude looked at him like that.

“On your knees.”

Tony did it without thinking, the soft fuzziness of submission already tugging at him. It never took much, not with someone like Jude who radiated the kind of confidence Tony could only dream of.

“Tell me what you want,” Jude said. He stepped closer, running his hand over Tony’s hair.

Tony’s eyes fluttered shut. “Whatever you’ll give me,” he said truthfully. He didn’t care about what toys got used or how Jude did it; he only wanted to feel that sweet softness as his mind went cloudy and his world narrowed to the man in front of him. The one in charge.

“Mmm.” Jude let out a pleased hum. He slipped the tip of his thumb into Tony’s mouth and let Tony bathe it with this tongue, sucking a little. “What a good boy you are.”

Ridiculous to be called a boy when he was a twenty-nine-year-old man who stood six foot four inches tall in his stocking feet and weighed two hundred thirty pounds of solid muscle, but Tony felt warm and safe when Jude referred to him that way.

“How do you feel about a bit of cock worship?”

Tony’s mouth salivated and a part of him was tempted to suck down Jude’s thumb as deep as it would go just to show him, but Jude pulled away.

“Please,” Tony whispered.

But before Tony could reach for his fly, Jude grasped his head in his hand, brushing his thumb across Tony’s cheek as he cradled his jaw with his fingers and tilted his head back.

“Is there anything new you need to tell me? Anything I should avoid?”

“Same as we talked about last time,” Tony said. “You can use your hands to restrain me but no rope. And no whips.”

He shuddered a little as he remembered struggling against the bindings that Martin had wrapped around his wrists as he whipped his back. When Tony had finally screamed red, Martin had undone them, but not until he’d gotten in a few more brutal hits.

“You’re pathetic,” he’d spat at Tony as he’d slumped to the floor. “Weak. You claim you’re a masochist, but you can’t even handle a whip.”

But Tony had never actually called himself a masochist. Oh, he could take pain, didn’t mind it when he really wanted to please a Dom, but he wasn’t a pain slut. He didn’t enjoy it just for the sake of pain. And getting whaled on by some guy who didn’t even respect him had left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Of course. No restraint, no whips.” Jude’s smile was easy as he stroked Tony’s cheek. Tony leaned into the touch, comforted by it. “I want you on your knees, worshiping my cock, your hands behind your back. Clasp your forearms and hold that pose like a good boy. It’s up to you to keep them in place while I use your mouth to get me close to coming.”

Tony widened his stance and put his arms behind his back as instructed. He opened his mouth and looked up at Jude.

“So obedient.” Jude brushed his thumb across Tony’s lower lip. “I love that.”

He opened his jeans and, when he pulled his cock out, Tony’s mouth watered. Jude’s dick was perfect. Perfectly proportionate to his body and just long and thick enough to choke Tony or fill his ass like he was made to be there. Tony leaned in, brushing his cheek against the shaft of Jude’s cock. He breathed in the sweet musky smell of a freshly showered man, his heart already beating a little faster.

“Yeah, just like that,” Jude encouraged him.

So, Tony rubbed his face against Jude like a cat, nuzzling every inch of his groin. He lapped at the drop of liquid that hung off the tip of his dick and smiled when Jude let out a little groan.

“My balls,” Jude instructed. He lifted his cock, pressing it flat against his belly and Tony dipped his head, bathing the smooth sac with his tongue before taking one of his balls in his mouth. He teased with his tongue, sucking gently until Jude groaned and let out a shuddery sigh.

“Fuck, look at you.” Jude ran his hands across Tony’s head. Tony suddenly wished his hair were a little longer just so he could feel Jude pull it.

Tony switched to his other ball, treating it to the same loving attention, and Jude’s hands continued to move with a soft possessive touch that made Tony’s chest warm. He was hard too, he dimly realized as Jude ordered him to open his mouth. But that was so much less important than the fact that Jude was enjoying this. He fed Tony his cock and Tony closed his eyes at the firm length sliding against his tongue, leaving a salty trail.

He sucked for a while, not even moving his mouth, just soaking Jude’s cock with spit and relishing the weight and feel of it.

“Mmm, you are so good at that,” Jude crooned. “So perfect at taking my cock.”

Tony hummed happily at the praise and Jude’s fingers tightened on his skull.

When Jude began to guide his head in long, slow strokes up and down his shaft, Tony closed his eyes and fully slipped into that sweet, hazy submissive space he loved so much. It made the whole world feel soft and easy. Everything else was gone. Even the throb of his cock and the bite of the carpet under his knees faded. There was only pleasing Jude. Hands and cock and balls and man.

When Jude pulled away eventually, Tony let out a whimpering cry. He had no idea how long he’d been sucking, but his shoulders were beginning to ache, and his jaw was sore.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Jude said, brushing his thumbs across Tony’s cheeks again. “We’re not done yet, I promise. Open those pretty brown eyes so I can see how you’re doing.”

Tony cracked his eyelids open to see Jude smiling at him. He smiled back, helpless to resist that look on Jude’s face.

“Can you get up on the bed?”

Tony nodded, rising a little unsteadily to his feet. His feet were half-asleep, and he weaved a little as he crossed over to the bed.

“You can drop your arms,” Jude instructed.

Tony did, head still fuzzy as he dimly noticed how much his shoulders ached. Jude rubbed them a moment and Tony stood there, swaying on his feet.

“What a good boy you are,” Jude said. He brushed their lips together, then stepped back. “On the bed. Lie on your side, head facing me.”

Tony did it, stretching out and staring up at Jude expectantly. He had no idea what he had planned but whatever it was, Tony knew it would be good.

“Because I can see that big ol’ question mark in your eyes, I’m going to tell you what I’m about to do,” Jude said conversationally as he shimmied his jeans off his hips and tossed them out of the way. “I’m going to fuck your face while I spank that gorgeous ass of yours. I’m trusting you to not bite my dick. Can you do that?”

Tony looked at him, horrified. “I’d never hurt you.”

“I know you wouldn’t.” Jude gave him a reassuring smile. “After I spank you, I’m going to open you up with my fingers, then fuck you until I come in your ass.” He held up condoms and lube, then tossed them on the bed behind Tony. “How does that sound?”

“Yes, please.” Tony’s belly tightened with anticipation.

Jude slid a hand down Tony’s side as he settled one knee on the bed by Tony’s face, then bent over, bracing himself on his arm so his body curved over Tony’s. It put his cock right in Tony’s face and left his right hand free.

“May I use my hands now?” Tony asked.

“You may.” Jude squeezed his ass.

Tony reached for Jude’s cock and guided it between his lips just as the first slap landed on his ass.

“Mmpfh.”

Jude chuckled and did it again. And again. He didn’t stop until Tony’s ass was hot and throbbing. Tony closed his eyes, sinking back into sub space and letting it all wash over him like a sweet, hot dream.

And then long, slick fingers probed his hole, teasing around the outside before sinking in. Jude didn’t go easy on him, and Tony was happy—happy to take whatever he’d give him. He let out another groan around Jude’s cock and sucked a little harder.

“Fuck, fuck, too good,” Jude muttered and drew back.

Tony reached for him, missing the weight of his cock in his mouth already but he heard the crinkle of foil and a moment later, Jude manhandled him onto his belly and covered his body with his own. Tony lifted his hips obligingly and then Jude was pushing inside, too much and just enough all at once.

Jude rode him hard, fucking him with short, desperate strokes. “I want you to come when you’re ready,” Jude whispered roughly, and Tony finally allowed himself to focus on his own pleasure.

He was close, balls already tight, need coiling low in his belly, urging him on. Tony clutched at the sheets with a desperate gasp as Jude reached under him, taking his cock into a tight fist and stroking. Just a few pumps and Tony was gone, painting the bed below him with his release.

Jude let out a wrecked, desperate sound and drove into Tony hard, shuddering with his own orgasm. He buried his head against the back of Tony’s neck and moaned, still quivering.

Tony face-planted on the bed, completely and utterly boneless. He felt Jude’s warm chuckle against the back of his neck, and Jude squeezed him more tightly. Tony liked his heavy weight and the pressure of his body against his, and he frowned into the sheet as Jude shifted off and he heard the sounds of him removing the condom.

He settled on the bed beside Tony, then urged him to roll onto his back. “Fuck, we’re getting good at this.”

Tony let his head loll to the side as he looked over at Jude. “Sure seems like it,” he agreed with a contented sigh.

Jude never made him feel like anything less than perfect.

Jude brushed his thumb across Tony’s cheek. “What do you say we shower, then I’ll cook us something?”

“I’m never gonna turn down your food,” Tony said with a small laugh. “I’m not the brightest guy ever, but I’m not that dumb. What you made for us after the last time we played was amazing.”

Jude scowled at him and wagged his finger. “First of all, I’ll have none of that ‘I’m not smart’ talk. That’s bullshit. Also, you picked me to top you, so clearly you’re incredibly intelligent.”

Tony laughed softly. “I think you messaged me first.”

Jude waved that off. “Details.”

“Yes to food,” Tony said. “If you’ll let me clean up after.”

Jude sat up with a groan. “This is what happens when two service-oriented people get together. We’re fighting over who gets to serve the other.”

A little of Tony’s happy feeling deflated as he remembered that Jude also liked to serve. It didn’t matter for what they did, because when the two of them were together Jude was always going to be the dominant. Tony wished he could give Jude that, but he had tried being in charge years ago and it had felt all wrong to him.

But Jude was a switch, and this could only be temporary.

They were so good together, but Jude was always going to need something Tony couldn’t give him, and that made him sad.

Jude got out of bed with a groan and slapped Tony’s ass. “Come on. I’m going to feed you now, hot stuff.”

Tony got up without complaint because he really would be stupid to miss out on Jude’s cooking.

He’d just have to enjoy this while it lasted.