Single-Dad Cowboy by Vicki Lewis Thompson
Chapter Thirty-One
Zeke could count on one hand the nights he’d spent alone in the past nine years. This was by far the loneliest. He wanted to blame Henri for the debacle but that didn’t wash.
All fingers pointed to him. If he’d broached Henri’s plan to Nell last night and explained why he didn’t want to go forward with it, she might have been willing to listen to his side. Maybe not, but that had been his only shot. He’d blown it.
He slept fitfully and was up long before dawn. Nell had cut him out of her plans, her dreams, her life. She’d left a hole the size of Montana in his heart.
Could he make that leap of faith she’d asked of him? He picked up his phone a hundred times and always put it down again. If he only had himself to consider, then maybe he’d risk it. But he’d be putting Claire’s happiness on the line, too. He didn’t have that right.
When his phone pinged with a text, he grabbed it, heart thumping. Maybe Nell had—nope. Jake.
Text me when you get back from Nell’s. I’d like to run by the bunkhouse for a few minutes and fill you in.
Zeke sucked in air until his heart settled down. I’m here.
Okay, then. Climb down from Cloud Nine. We have an intervention to plan.
Zeke sent him a thumbs-up emoji.
Jake’s timing was good. Just like Nell had to tell Valerie, he had to tell his big brother. Otherwise Jake would unknowingly keep making comments that would dig into him like jabs from a hot poker.
He made a pot of coffee. By the time he’d poured two mugs, Jake came through the front door of the bunkhouse.
“In the kitchen,” Zeke called out.
“Figured.” Jake walked in. “Smelled the coffee.” He took the mug and lifted it. “Thanks for this. Slept in a bit, didn’t have time to caffeine up.”
“Did the party run late?”
“Yeah. Mostly talking about this deal since we didn’t have to watch what we said after Teague, Ed and Valerie took off. Anyway, the plan is—”
“I need to tell you something, first.”
“Okay.” Jake listened in silence, his expression grave, but not surprised. When Zeke stopped talking, his brother exhaled. “I was afraid of this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Henri told us about her conversation with Nell. She’s gonna blame herself.”
“She shouldn’t. She assumed I’d say something to Nell last night. I should have.”
“Yep.” He glanced away. “Déjà vu all over again.”
“I don’t—”
“I get where you’re coming from, little brother. Your life wasn’t like mine, but we both got slimed by a narcissist. And we’re so afraid we’ll be like him that we deny ourselves what we need.”
“That’s not my problem. I’d take that risk any day, but I don’t have the right to put Claire’s happiness in jeopardy.”
“You’re doing it anyway. What if she needs Nell as much as you do?”
“I can’t know that! What I do know is that she’s happy now, and if Nell moves here and it all goes south, then—”
“Clare still has you. And all of us. Don’t let the bastard win, little brother. I almost did. I almost lost Millie.”
“But you didn’t have a kid. Trust me, that makes all the difference.”
“I’m not saying it would be an easy leap to make. Nothing’s for sure. But even though you look like him, you’re not a selfish bastard. You’re a good dad.”
His throat tightened. “Thanks, bro.” He glanced at the kitchen clock. “You’d better tell me the plan. It’s getting late.”
* * *
After Zeke and Claire finished barn chores, they spent the morning showing his folks around the ranch. Jake had already issued his invitation to Bud for a men-only evening around the fire pit, so Bud was especially interested in that part of the tour.
Zeke’s perception had sharpened. What he used to see as confidence now looked like bravado. Bud was nervous. No doubt about it, the Brotherhood intimidated him.
Had he always been this critical of Zeke’s mom? Probably, although his current uneasiness might be making it worse.
Even Claire called him on it. When she said that wasn’t very nice, Grampa, Bud’s jaw dropped. Then he promptly announced they were all going into town for lunch, his treat.
It was a familiar pattern—mean behavior followed by a reward. A slap, then a hug. But always on his terms. Zeke had lived it. This was the first time he’d seen it.
Maybe he would have if Claire had ever been on the receiving end. For some reason, she’d been spared.
They spent the afternoon in town, going through the shops. Claire came home with bags full of loot, but Zeke had to smile when she stood firm on not trying on any dresses. If he hadn’t put a stop to it, she would have a youth saddle, though. He’d taken Jared Logan aside and apologized for nixing the purchase.
She had her pick of saddles in various sizes at the Buckskin and over at Ed’s. Someday he’d get her a custom saddle and that would be a proud day for each of them. He didn’t want to be robbed of that moment because Bud was going for the glory.
After dinner in the guest dining hall and a few hands of poker in his folks’ cabin, he helped his mom put Claire to bed while Bud smoked a cigar out on the porch.
His mom kissed Claire goodnight. “Sleep tight, sweetheart.” She glanced at him. “I’m gonna go check on your dad.”
She did that a lot. It hadn’t made a big impression until today. She hovered around Bud, a trace of anxiety in her expression, as if she was responsible for his happiness. Zeke didn’t like it.
Sitting on the edge of the guest room bed, he smiled at Claire. “Have a good day?”
“I love having them here. Grampa’s a little bossy, but I can handle him.”
Zeke laughed. “Yes, you can.” He glanced around the cozy room. “Miss the bunkhouse?”
“I do, but this is nice, too.”
“Yeah?” Interesting. “What do you like about it?”
“It’s a log cabin. It’s got a fireplace instead of a wood stove. I can pretend I’m a pioneer.”
“Which one do you like better?”
“Well, the bunkhouse is cool, especially when the Brotherhood comes over. But this place has a nicer bathroom….” She frowned in concentration, then let out a dramatic sigh. “I give up. I can’t pick. They’re both good.”
“Then it’s nice you can have both, huh?” Amazing. He would never have guessed she’d say that.
“It’s very nice. I’m lucky.”
“Me, too.” He leaned down, gave her a hug and a kiss, and stood. “Sweet dreams.”
“I love you, Daddy.”
Daddyagain. And not because she wanted something. Maybe she liked feeling like his little girl every so often. And maybe she was way more flexible than he’d given her credit for. More flexible than he was. “Love you, too, sweetie.” He turned out the light and left the room a wiser man.
His mom was straightening up the living room, rearranging pillows on the couch and stacking magazines on the end table.
“I take it he’s still out on the porch.” He couldn’t bring himself to use Bud when he was talking to her.
“Yes.” She stopped fussing with things and came over. “Do you think he’s acting strange?”
Yes, because he’s scared.“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“He’s out of his element here, and it makes him nervous. He never approved of your decision to go into this kind of work. It’s so different from what he knows.”
“And yet it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.”
“Just like Jake. It’s eerie how similar you are. And so different from your father.”
That was the point, but he didn’t say it. “He might not approve of my choice, but he let me know about the Buckskin and Jake. I’ll always owe him for that.”
“He put himself in a vulnerable spot by telling you. But he did it because he loves you and wants you to be happy.”
“I think it was more about Claire.” If Bud had one redeeming quality, that was it. He cherished his granddaughter. It could be what saved his neck in the end.
“Maybe. In any case, I don’t know what this manly fire pit discussion is all about, but, like I said, your father feels out of his element. Will you keep that in mind?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He was counting on it. So was Jake. “See you tomorrow, Mom.” He gave her a hug and went out the door past the Adirondack chair and the scent of cigar smoke. “See you at the fire pit, Bud.”
“I keep meaning to ask you. Why are you calling me Bud all of a sudden?”
“Seems right, now that I’m an adult.”
“You’ve been an adult for a while, now. You’ve always called me Dad.”
“Guess so.” He clattered down the steps. “And now that I’m my own man, I’d rather call you Bud. How’s that?”
Bud’s snort was filled with ridicule. “Whatever floats your boat.”
Another put-down. Par for the course. “See you soon, Bud.”
By the time he drove to the bunkhouse and headed out to the fire pit, flames rose from the circle of stones and everyone was gathered except Jake.
“Hey, it’s son number two,” CJ called out and strummed a few chords of welcome on his guitar.
“You’re playing tonight?”
“Yessir. Music soothes the savage beast, y’know. Unless you listen to the words, which in this case are significant. About cheating and such. Think he’ll get it?”
“I doubt it. He thinks the rules don’t apply to him.”
“I’m confused.” Rafe handed him a bottle of cider. “Why’s Jake bringing him instead of you. Weren’t you just over there putting Claire to bed?”
“Jake wanted the honor of escorting him and that seemed fair. He hasn’t had the pleasure of Bud’s company for as many years as I have.”
Rafe nodded. “I used to wish I knew who my dad was. Now that I see what you and Jake have been through, I should probably be thankful.”
“Either he didn’t stick around long enough to find out he sired you, Rafe,” CJ said, “or your mother didn’t want him to know you existed. I’m guessing you’re better off not knowing.”
“Yeah, I’m going with that. Hey, I hear Jake’s truck. What song are you starting off with?”
“That Carrie Underwood one, Before He Cheats.”
“Good choice,” Nick said. “I like what she does to his truck. But isn’t it kinda strange coming from you? Doesn’t it need a woman for the words to make sense?”
“I’ll sing falsetto.”
Matt gave a nod of approval. “Do that. We need some comic relief.”
“That’s the truth,” Zeke said. His gut tightened as the rumble of Jake’s rig stopped. Truck doors opened and closed. He dragged in a breath.
Then CJ launched into the song in a weird combo of Carrie Underwood’s accent and the Bee Gees. Despite his jangling nerves, Zeke grinned.
Leo walked over and stood beside CJ. He began acting out the story, pantomiming slashing tires and bashing headlights with a baseball bat. Bottle in hand, Nick danced a jig while Garrett and Rafe partnered in some sort of disjointed disco move.
When Jake came around the side of the house with Bud, Zeke was laughing so hard he had to lean against one of the Adirondack chairs.
Jake paused at the edge of the circle of light created by the blazing fire and swept an arm to encompass the wonky behavior. “My brothers.”
Bud surveyed the scene. “What the hell is this nonsense?”
Zeke’s laughter died as he met Jake’s gaze. Your worst nightmare, Bud Lassiter.
CJ finished the Carrie Underwood song and moved on to Shania Twain’s Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under? Jake fetched Bud a bottle of cider from the tub full of ice and gradually the group settled into the Adirondack chairs. All except Matt, who remained standing, and CJ, who continued his streak with Reba’s Whoever’s in New England.
When CJ finished that number with a flourish and put down his guitar, Matt strolled to a position in front of the fire and faced the semi-circle of chairs. Jake had placed Bud in the middle seat.
Matt focused on Bud. “This meeting of the Buckskin Brotherhood is in session. Bud Lassiter, those tunes were chosen for a reason. Can you guess what that reason is?”
“Haven’t a clue.” He lounged back in his chair and took a gulp of cider.
“They’re a message. But I’ll let your two sons spell it out. Jake, you’re up.”
Jake took Matt’s place. “The message is about cheating, Bud. And for you, that activity ends now.”
He sat bolt upright. “What the hell?”
“Your two-timing days are over, mister.”
“How dare you?”
“How dare you? You’ve had my mother on a roller-coaster of divorce and remarriage. This is the end of the ride. You’re going to file for divorce and never see her again.”
“You can’t dictate to me.” Bud pushed out of his chair. “I’ll do whatever I damned well—”
“No, you won’t.” Zeke left his chair and stood beside Jake. “Divorce Jake’s mother or we’ll reveal everything to my mom.”
“You’ll ruin their lives!”
“Too late,” Jake said. “They’re already ruined. They just don’t know it. We can turn you in tomorrow and you’ll go to jail. But we’re offering you a way out. Divorce one woman and keep the other, and we won’t file charges.”
Bud’s face crumpled. “But I love them both.”
Jake muttered something that sounded like bullshit.
“If you love them both, prove it,” Zeke said. “Free Jake’s mother from this toxic cycle so she can find someone who will stick with her. And devote the rest of your life to making amends to my mom.”
His chin jutted. “I won’t do it.”
Jake took a step closer, his voice low and menacing. “Then we’ll see your ass in jail.”
“You wouldn’t put your own father in jail.”
Zeke moved up beside Jake and looked into eyes so like his. But the man was nothing like him. “You sure about that?”
Bud swallowed. Then he glanced around. The Brotherhood had risen from their chairs, three beside Zeke and three beside Jake.
“Don’t test us,” Matt said. “You’ll lose.”
Bud maintained his defiant posture for several long seconds. Then he bowed his head. “Yeah, okay.”
“We’ll be keeping track,” Jake said. “One false step and you’re toast.”
Bud gave Zeke a furtive glance. “I don’t want Claire to find out.”
“She won’t if you behave yourself. You step out of line and it all falls apart.”
He nodded again. “Can I go home, now?”
Zeke looked over at his brother, who gave a curt nod. “Jake and I will take you.”
The ride to the cabin was silent. The ride back to the bunkhouse was not.
“Damn, that felt great!” Zeke pounded out a victory beat on the dashboard.
Jake grinned. “Yeah it did. Still does. I’ll be cruising on this high for a very long time.”
“We need to set up a monitoring system. We can’t trust him at all.”
“I’m aware. We’ll keep close track. Millie and I have already planned to make regular visits to my mom. And suggest counseling, if she’s open to it.”
“Are you going to tell her about my mom and me?”
“I might. She has a hot temper, though. We don’t want bloodshed. If she goes along with the counseling idea, then it’s more doable.” He pulled up to the bunkhouse. The parking lot was empty except for his truck.
“Where’d everybody go?” Zeke unsnapped his seatbelt.
“Home to their ladies. Which is where I’m headed.”
“I thought they’d all want to celebrate.”
“We will. By making our ladies very happy.” Leaving the motor running, he turned in the seat, his gaze steady. “Don’t you have somewhere to go, little brother?”
Adrenaline shot through him and he reached for the door handle. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
