The Portrait of a Scarred Duke by Patricia Haverton

Chapter 30

“My friend, I hope you’ll forgive me for saying that you look rather like a man who’s been sentenced to being hanged,” Guillan said.

Seth glared at his friend, who had the grace to look at least a little chastised. “That was in very poor taste, considering…”

Considering that they’d just left the court and therefore, Henry Thorebourne, who’d be sent to gaol for his crimes. And what crimes they were! In preparation for this, Seth and Guillan had examined decades of records, and the amount of stolen funds had grown with every passing year.

“You did what you had to do,” Guillan said firmly.

“Did I?”

His friend fixed him with a firm stare. “You did. That man was not an innocent victim. He stole from your father, from you, and from the dukedom. Because of his misdeeds, we’ll have to search through all those records again and ensure that you really aren’t secretly drowning under the weight of some debts you don’t know about. If he was willing to steal from you, it’s just as likely that he used your name for some deviant deeds, as well.”

“I know that.”

“Good. And considering everything, you were quite generous. You saved Richard Thorebourne a similar fate. Even if his crime was lesser, it was still a crime.”

“A crime to spare Elinor’s feelings.”

Seth winced. He’d thought of nothing save Elinor since she left, and in his mind’s eye, he still saw the image of her back and her red gown, as she left his study and his life forever.

“And I suppose that’s the heart of the matter, isn’t it?” Guillan asked. “You keep thinking of Elinor and how much you love her.”

“Disgusting, I know,” Seth replied, trying to replicate his friend’s rather unconventional brand of humor.

Guillan clearly didn’t believe him. “I think you ought to leave those dark witticisms to me. They don’t suit you, especially when you have that forlorn look in your eyes.”

“I’ll try to be more cheerful for you.”

“You know very well that isn’t what I want.”

Seth turned his gaze to the window of the carriage and the passing landscape outside his window. Snow still lingered stubbornly to a few trees and blades of grass, but most of it had melted into dull, watery sludge along the sides of the road. Spring was quickly approaching and with it everything he’d come to dread.

“Do you believe Elinor was involved in anything dishonest?” Guillan asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I didn’t ask what you know. I asked what you believe.”

“Is there a difference?” Seth asked.

Guillan crossed his arms and smirked. “I think you are well aware of the difference between the two, and you insist on vexing me because you don’t want to talk about what’s truly bothering you. What happened to the sentimental Duke I’d come to know?”

“What happened to you?” Seth countered. “I seem to recall that upon my return, you had some hesitancy in even referring to me as anything other than Your Grace.”

“I remembered our school years together,” Guillan replied. “And I rather liked you when you were being sentimental. Now, you’re avoiding my questions, as if you’re guilty of something yourself. Do you believe that Elinor was involved in any wrongdoing?”

Seth frowned and considered the question. “No, but—”

“No. So you’re going to ignore your own instincts because of some crime which Elinor might have played a marginal role in.”

“I seem to recall you encouraging that exact course of action,” Seth replied. “You seem suddenly rather eager for me to admit my affections for Elinor. What do you want from me, Guillan? You can’t seem to decide.”

“I’ll admit that I thought it would be wise at the time,” Guillan replied. “I’ll confess to that. But I hadn’t considered how miserable it might make you. I suppose that I didn’t really…I didn’t realize how deeply you might feel about this young woman. That’s the truth of it all.”

Of course he hadn’t. Guillan had never really fallen in love with any single woman, although he was rather fond of them. One might even say a little too fond, but Seth would never be the one to mention that.

“And knowing that I truly love Elinor has changed your feelings on the subject that much?” Seth asked.

“That and seeing how distraught you are. I just don’t want you to hate yourself for this later. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life agonizing over that day and always wondering how things might’ve been better if you’d believed her.”

“But that’s the problem. I do believe that Elinor was innocent. I do think she truly loved me. But rationally, I know that belief isn’t something concrete. It isn’t the same as knowing, as you mentioned. Logically, Elinor had far more reasons for why she might pretend to love me than for actually loving me.”

Guillan hummed. “So you believe in her, but you don’t believe in yourself. That’s what it sounds like to me.”

“I suppose.”

Guillan tapped his fingers against the cushioned seat, playing a melody neither of them could hear. “Do you remember when we were children, and Hamilton asked you if you’d climb that tree?”

Seth winced. “I’d rather not. You seem to enjoy reminding me of things best forgotten today.”

“Your idea of best forgotten and mine are quite different,” Guillan replied, his face bright with mischief. “He told you to do it, and I told you not to. I told you that you’d probably fall and break your arm, and which of us did you listen to?’

“Hamilton. But I didn’t fall.”

“Oh, yes. You were stuck and had to be rescued. That was a much more dignified fate.”

Despite his generally dour mood, Seth couldn’t help a small bark of laughter. “I only tried it once, and I was more impulsive, then.”

“Yes. So impulsive that years later you decided you were going to find adventure on the seas, despite everyone trying to discourage you. All our pleas fell upon your deaf and stubborn ears.”

“Are you hoping to write my biography, Guillan?”

“I have a point, which is that you are usually eager to be impulsive and follow your beliefs, but when it matters the most, you aren’t. And that’s infuriating.”

Seth grimaced. A lump rose in his throat, as he looked at Guillan, his oldest and dearest friend. It was too easy to think about what he was saying and to think of Elinor calling him weak, for being unwilling to believe her. To support her.

“In those situations, I was the only one who would suffer any ill for the consequences of my actions,” Seth replied softly. “This is different.”

“It isn’t. And it wasn’t then. If you’d been badly hurt climbing up that tree, I would have suffered. I would have felt guilty for letting you get hurt, despite my best efforts to persuade you not to behave so foolishly. And you can’t have missed how upset your absence made your mother. Can you imagine how badly it would’ve hurt her if something worse had happened to you? If you’d been killed instead of scarred?”

“I’ve thought of that,” Seth admitted.

“Then, how is this different? In the past, you’ve taken risks that might’ve hurt people. And yes, you were young and foolish, then. But isn’t love something worth taking a risk for? Don’t you think that you’ll be all the better of a Duke if you have someone you love by your side, to encourage you when the burden seems too great?”

Guillan stared at him with something like desperation, and Seth leaned back into the cushions. “You are the last person in the world who should be advocating for love-matches.”

“I know. But you and I are very different men. I think being married to a woman to be a fate worse than death. I enjoy being a rake. But you don’t. What’s right for me isn’t right for you, and it’s quite obvious that you need someone to love you. You need a love-match. You need Elinor.”

Seth said nothing for a long time, playing the advice over in his mind. Guillan was right, so right about all of it. Seth sighed deeply and imagined Elinor across from him, bright and smiling.

“If she still wants me,” Seth said.

“I’m sure she does,” Guillan replied quickly. “All couples have their quarrels, even in love-matches. If Elinor truly loves you, there’s no better way to know than to approach her now. If she loves you, she’ll forgive you. She may have already.”

The carriage bumped along the road, and Seth recognized the easternmost part of Worthwood. He was nearly home. His blood quickened, and his stomach lurched. Guillan was right. What better way was there to know if Elinor truly loved him than to approach her again, now that they’d both had the time and space to think for themselves?

If she loved him, she’d forgive him. And if her affection was just a carefully crafted lie, she’d have the opportunity to gracefully refuse his advances. If she was clever and an accomplice to her father’s crimes, she’d do that—Elinor would be a fool to continue the deception. Even the best criminal made a mistake eventually.

Now, it was just a matter of planning his approach and waiting for the result. He would see Elinor again. At least, one last time if nothing else.