Behind the Lyrics by Melissa Riddell
Chapter 27
Angela Morales
“And now, K-rockers, here’s your next block of commercial-free music, so kick back, prop your feet, and have a cold one because it’s a scorching one hundred twelve outside.” The music started. I tugged the headphones from my ears and laid them on the table.
I checked my phone. It had been four days since I’d spoken with Viktor, and I got the feeling he might’ve been angry with me over that last text. But surely, he understood where I was coming from. After the four years of hell I’d spent with Jeff, the last thing I needed was to rush headlong into a relationship with another person who carried some of the same demons.
Those fluttering wings of panic stirred deep in my belly, and I thought about calling the doctor and asking for a refill. Yet, I hesitated because it felt like admitting defeat. Things were going well for me. Yeah, my bank account was a sad, decrepit thing, but I was free. If anxiety kept calling, that told me I needed to re-examine its source and what had changed in my life.
Viktor Farrow.
I sighed and checked the phone screen once more, a tiny spark of hope fading when it remained blank.
Damn it all, I miss him, too. But I couldn’t bring myself to admit this to him, and I couldn’t understand why. Yes, he made me nervous, but not in the same way as Jeff. In Viktor’s presence, I didn’t feel like I’d been blind in a dark room for hours. He was the sun, with his golden hair and dimpled smile, his touch a pure ray of light igniting my insides.
“Hello, woman.” Terri snapped her fingers in my face, causing me to jump in my chair. “Earth to Angela.”
“Hey. Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“Uh-huh. I bet I know about who, too.” Her teeth appeared in a big smile, and she winked. “Have you heard anything from him yet?”
“No. I might’ve blown it.” I stuffed the phone into my purse.
“Oh, I highly doubt that. Isn’t his tour supposed to be starting soon?” She plopped into the other chair, leaned back, and lifted her feet to rest on the table. Today, she wore the ugliest pair of sandals I’d ever seen. Brown and silver, with speckles of neon green, their straps climbed across her feet and wound around her ankles. Her shorts were tangerine, completed with a plum-colored tee. If she ever got lost in the desert, a search and rescue would find her within minutes based on the clash of colors.
“Yeah, I think he’s supposed to leave in a day or two.” I leaned my chin into my palm. “Are you mad because I didn’t go on tour with him? I’m sure it would’ve been great advertisement.”
“Shoot, girl. We got plenty of dough right now thanks to that boyfriend of yours. I have commercials booked through the next three months.”
“He’s not my boyfr—”
She waved a hand in the air and laughed. “Whatever you say. Hey, did you see Macabre Maniacs are coming to town next month?”
“What? Really? Damn, wish I could afford a ticket. That’s one concert I wouldn’t miss.” They’d been one of my favorite bands since I was a teenager, and I’d kill to see them live. “Don’t guess you could see about getting a certain K-ROC DJ a complimentary ticket, could you?” I grinned and gave her my best impression of puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah, I’ll see what I can do. I wouldn’t mind going myself.”
“Abso-freaking-lutley. I haven’t had a night out in a long time.” Well, besides that evening Viktor took me to his place. My enthusiasm dimmed. What are you doing right now? Have you already moved on? Maybe I should text him this evening—as a friend. He and I both shared private moments, and if nothing else, surely, we could stay friendly through the bond of pain and truth.
Terri slid her feet from the table and stood. “Guess I’ll go work on recording those commercials.”
“All right. I’ve got another hour, then I’m heading out when Johnny gets here. I already cranked a couple out for you earlier if you want to edit them later.” I yawned, already looking forward to my hot bath, a good book, and cuddle time with Marky.
She opened the door and stopped, turning her knowing gaze on me. “Angela, I know what you went through with Jeff, and you have every right to be careful, but…” Shaking her head, she narrowed her eyes and shook a finger at me. “Viktor Farrow is not Jeff. He may be an arrogant ass, but if you tell someone you’ll give them a chance, it can’t be half-hearted or only whenever you want to work on it. That’s not fair to either one of you.”
Scowling, I crossed my arms over my chest. “That’s not what I’m doing. I’m—”
“That’s exactly what you’re doing. Don’t string him along. Either give him a real chance or cut the cord and both of you move on.”
I knew it was good advice, Terri always had a terrific grasp on human emotions, but that was not what I was doing, was it? Stringing him along?
The door clicked shut, and I took a deep breath of the dry, Arizona air.
I’ll call him and talk about it later, after I’ve had time to think about what I want.
That was just the trouble, though. I didn’t know what I wanted—not yet. Maybe if I did, things would be easier.