An Uninvited Bride on his Doorstep by Ava Winters
Chapter Thirty-Two
As they walked along the fence and looked over the ranch, Logan realized his entire perspective on the place had changed. It was beautiful now. Oh, it had always been beautiful. He knew that. It had always been lovely, but now it seemed he could see it clearly. What had happened in the Bible?
A man had been blind, and Jesus touched his eyes (or something like that), and the scales fell away. That was it, Logan thought. Scales fell away and he could see. It seemed to Logan he was a lot like that man, only the scales were the shame of their circumstances and the way he had to live his life in such isolation. The ranch was just as much a prison back then as the prison Sterling Koch now called home.
For a moment, Logan thought about how Koch’s face must have looked when he arrived there. Would that be the moment realization had finally set in for the old man? Did he now understand he was finished? Had he internalized it completely, so he wore that knowledge now the same way Logan and his family had worn false shame for so many years?
Logan realized as the thoughts occurred to him that he didn’t feel any satisfaction about that. There was relief that the man had been brought to justice, that he’d rescued Winona and even that he’d killed Jude. There was gratitude that Koch’s money couldn’t buy him a life free of punishment for what he’d done. There wasn’t satisfaction, however, in the man’s misery. Logan wondered why.
“Beautiful day,” Jay said from beside him.
“Feels kind of like every day is a beautiful day now,” Logan said.
“Guess every day can be now,” Jay replied.
Logan took a breath. “I was wrong, Jay.”
Jay stopped walking. “You don’t think it’s a beautiful day?”
Logan turned and looked at his brother. “Not about that. I’m right about that. There aren’t a whole lot of things I’ve been right about, but it is a beautiful day.”
“You’re right about Winona, Logan. You were right about needing to take a stand against Jude and his father. You’re right about a lot.”
“Damn it, Jay, stop being nice to me. I’ve got to tell you something.”
Jay lifted up his hands. “Okay. I’ll be mean to you. You missed some spots when you were shaving this morning. You look scruffy. You’re an important rancher now and you ought to take more care with how you look. Better?”
Logan shook his head with a smile. “Okay. Maybe don’t stop being nice to me, but can I get through this? I need to tell you something.”
“All right, then,” Jay said. “Talk to me. I’ll listen quiet-like. I’ll be a mouse.”
Logan said, “I don’t know where to start.”
“For a man demanding I shut up so he can talk, you seem pretty set on staying quiet.”
“I never trusted you. I never trusted anyone. I let what Heath Ross did to us keep me from believing anyone could be trusted at all. I didn’t listen when you tried to talk to me. I didn’t listen to anything at all, and for years you’ve been trying to help this ranch succeed and I’ve just treated you like …” he shrugged. “I don’t know what it was like, but I didn’t treat you like I should have.”
“We all had a hard time of it, Logan,” Jay said, “every one of us. You were just trying to do the best you could for the family.”
Logan said, “You’re right about that, but it doesn’t make it right. Heath Ross was trying to do the best he could for his family. Winona’s mother was trying to do the best for her. That doesn’t mean what they did wasn’t wrong, and it doesn’t mean what I did wasn’t wrong.”
He looked up at the sky for a moment. He only wanted to break eye contact with Jay for a little break but as he looked up into the clouds, he surprised himself by saying a quick prayer that he might be given the right words to say. He wasn’t entirely sure if the petition was for God’s ears or for his father’s. “Jay,” he said when he looked back down, “the last thing our pa said to me was to take care of you and Greg. He said he wanted me to take care of my brothers and to take care of his horse ranch.”
Jay stared at him for a long moment and finally said, “I understand.”
“Maybe you do. Maybe but the part of what he said that stuck with me so much was that he said it was a horse ranch. Horse. That’s why I’ve held so fast to that. He said his horse ranch was important to him and he wanted me to take care of his horse ranch. Whenever you would come to me and you’d want to talk about anything else, it didn’t matter at all what you said. It had to be horses. I was stubborn like half a horse about that, like a mule. I didn’t want to hear about anything else.”
Jay chuckled. “No. I guess you didn’t.”
“I didn’t want to hear about it, and I was so angry with Ross that I couldn’t think clearly anyway. I couldn’t trust anyone, and that meant I couldn’t even trust you. I swear Jay, it felt like trying to change things around here was just the same as trying to destroy the place.” He held up a hand, “It wasn’t, of course. I’m not saying anyone was trying to destroy the ranch, least of all you and Greg. I’m just saying I haven’t been in my right mind. I’ve been so busy thinking about what the ranch shouldn’t be and what people shouldn’t be, I haven’t paid attention to what really mattered.”
He looked around at the beautiful landscape and noted to the north a few deer at the tree line. To the south, he could see some of their stock. “Well, I’ve just kept talking and just talked myself into a circle, so I lost my place,” he said. “Jay, I didn’t trust you. I didn’t trust anyone. That was wrong. I should have trusted you, and I should have trusted Gregory. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have failed so badly at taking care of the ranch.”
“You didn’t fail, Logan,” Jay said.
“Yes, I did,” Logan said. “Sure, I kept the ranch running where others might not have, but I still failed. If I’d trusted you and Gregory to have an equal say, we wouldn’t have had to endure the hardship and fear of the past few years. Winona wouldn’t have had to suffer through my pigheadedness for six months before I finally saw reason.”
Jay smiled wryly. “I’d say Winona seems fine with the way things turned out.”
“I know that,” Logan said, “And I’m happy with the way things turned out too. All except one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I need to do what I should have done in the first place and let you and Gregory become equal partners in the business. So that’s what I’m going to do. You were right about the cattle, Jay. You were right the whole time. Gregory saw it. Winona saw it. Any fool could see it. I saw it, but I just didn’t want to admit it because I was so hung up on the need to save Pa’s horse ranch.”
Logan chuckled. “You know, it only now occurred to me that Pa just meant to take care of the ranch and only called it a horse ranch because that happened to be the only animal we had at the time. The point is you were right. We should invest in cattle. I’ve already talked to Winona and Gregory, and they agree. We’re going to arrange for a buyer for the horses and we’re going to purchase another seven hundred head of cattle. Heath and Wyatt are going to send some hands to help Darrell convert the stables to cattle pens and Winona and Gregory are making plans to replant the pastures with clover and alfalfa. We’re going to be a cattle ranch and by God we’re going to be the best cattle ranch this side of the Mississippi.”
Jay’s eyes widened and a grin spread across his face as Logan spoke. By the end, he was beaming from ear to ear. “You mean it?”
“I mean it,” Logan said. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to see the light, but I see it now.”
Jay threw his arms around his brother and hugged him hard. Logan returned the embrace, the first he and Jay had shared in years. It felt good. It felt like they were family again. Logan would trade in everything he owned for that feeling.
When they released each other, Jay smiled and said, “Thank you, Logan. It means a lot to me to hear you say that.”
Logan smiled. “It’s the least I can do.” He looked up at the slowly descending sun. “We should head back. I promised Winona we’d be home in time for supper. She’s making pork roast again.”
Jay’s eyes lit up. “My favorite!”
Logan suppressed a smile. Pork roast was the meal Winona had made for their first dinner as a family, the meal Jay had eschewed for a meal in town. “Make sure you tell Winona,” he said.
Jay smiled. “I will.”
They walked in comfortable silence for a while. After a few minutes, Logan cleared his throat and said, “So do you want to head to town on Thursday? To buy the cattle, I mean? There’s a breeder there offering to sell on consignment. The cattle wouldn’t arrive until the railway station opens, but that shouldn’t be more than another few months. I’d go myself but I don’t know what I’m looking for as well as you do.”
“I would love to,” Jay said.
“Much obliged,” Logan replied.
They fell into silence again. A few minutes later, Jay said, “You know, it doesn’t have to be either/or.”
“What?”
“It doesn’t have to be either/or. The ranch, I mean.”
“What does that mean? Either/or?”
“Either cattle or horses. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.”
“You want to raise both? We don’t have the room.”
“Actually, we do,” Jay said. “There’s at least twenty thousand acres of prime pastureland to the northwest that’s just lying fallow. If we talk to Clarence, I’m sure we could secure a loan for the purchase. It’s a hefty sum, but if all goes well with the cattle, we can pay the loan off in a few years and still have enough to pay for new fencing, buildings and to hire a few dozen more hands. We could recoup every dollar we invest in five years and then some.”
Logan looked at his brother, pride and love swelling his chest. “You know something, Jay? Pa would be proud.”
“Oh, I always knew that,” Jay replied. “You’re the only one too pigheaded to see that.”
Logan chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Nice to know you’re still going to be a pain in my backside.”
“Hey, a tiger can’t change its stripes.”
“What?”
“Something Winona says sometimes.”
“She’s never said that to me.”
“Really? You should pay more attention to your wife.”
Logan shoved Jay playfully. The younger man stumbled, laughing as Logan called after him. “You may be all grown up, but I can still whup you.”
“You’ll have to catch me first,” Jay said. He took off toward the house.
Logan sprinted after him, barely managing to keep up. “Not fair!” he called after Jay. “I’m forty pounds heavier than you. I can’t move like that.”
“Excuses!” Jay called over his shoulder.
They reached the house a few seconds later. Jay burst in the front door, nearly colliding with Winona, who shrieked and nearly dropped the large pot she held. “Jay Foley!” she chided. “This is a house, not a play yard!”
Though he’d seen it happen, his momentum carried Logan forward as though he were intent on proving his wife wrong. Play yard or house, Winona had another close call, this time as Logan burst through the door following his brother. She shook her head and shrieked again, narrowly avoiding Logan as he bounded into the parlor. It seemed almost miraculous to him she didn’t drop the pot, and comical enough he needed the miracle to keep himself from laughing and to show the appropriate contrition.
“Sorry, honey,” Logan said.
“Don’t sorry me!” Winona scolded. Despite her tone, Logan could see a smile her in her eyes. She allowed Logan to kiss her cheek before setting the pot down. “When you boys have finished roughhousing, will you go tell Gregory dinner is ready in ten minutes?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Jay said meekly, on his best behavior in a way that made Logan smile.
“What are you smiling about?” Winona said. “Now you go find a basin and wash up. I won’t have men sitting at my dinner table looking like they ought to be eating in the barn!” She couldn’t keep the smile from her face again.
He smiled and said in his best boy voice, “Aw … do I have to?”
Her eyes flashed but then she shook her head with a laugh. “Go on with you before all you get for supper is a crust of bread.”
Logan smiled, leaned forward to give her another kiss on the cheek. She turned her head as he did, so the kiss ended up on her lips and Logan felt like a boy because of the thrill that gave him. “Now get!” she said. “Right now!”
Ten minutes later, they sat around the table enjoying steaming hot pork roast with mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and thick, creamy gravy Winona ladled generously over the plates. After one bite, Jay said, “Logan, I think we’ll need to raise hogs now. If Winona’s going to cook like this, we definitely need to raise hogs.”
“All right,” Winona said, “you three are forgiven for roughhousing.”
“I wasn’t roughhousing!” Gregory protested.
“Not today,” Winona said, “But you probably need forgiveness for something.”
Logan chuckled, “She’s right about that.” He supposed they all needed forgiveness and imagined they’d need it for some time to come. They’d get it, too.
That fact made him pause and put down his fork.
He hadn’t even known Winona watched him closely but the moment his fork was down she asked, “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said. “Nothing at all. For the first time in as long as I can remember, nothing’s wrong at all. Everything’s … everything’s just fine.” He smiled at her and said, “In fact, everything is just about perfect.”
Jay said, “This supper is perfect. That’s for sure.”
Gregory quipped, “Not all of us think with our stomachs, Jay.”
Logan smiled and picked up his fork. “I do. You can believe that.” He lifted a piece of pork to his mouth and kept his eyes on Winona. “I certainly do.”
He saw a faint blush in Winona’s cheeks as she said, “Now stop being foolish, you three, and eat your supper.” She couldn’t manage even the slightest sternness in her tone.