Heart in the Highlands by Heidi Kimball
Chapter Sixteen
When Callum awoke the next morning, he briefly forgot where he was. Then something hit his chest. “Papa, get up!” Charlotte’s face appeared over his, with wide, bright eyes. “Let’s go see the sheep!”
He blinked and sat up, setting Charlotte next to him. The door adjoining his room to Katie’s shut abruptly. His mother had had the nursery aired out and prepared for Charlotte, but Katie had insisted Charlotte stay the night with her, worried the girl would wake up frightened and disoriented in an unfamiliar place. If anything, she’d been more protective of Charlotte since their arrival.
“You said!” his daughter accused, pushing her pointer finger into his chest.
“Aye, so I did.” Callum groaned. “Though, had I known ye’d be awake at the crack of dawn, I might have reconsidered.”
Charlotte bounced with impatience beside him, and Callum could not resist her entreaties, no matter how his body protested. “So ye rise with the sun, do ye?” he asked.
“Yes!” she shouted.
He began to tickle her. “Are ye very sure ye rise with the sun?” he asked again.
This time her yes was encased in giggles. He tickled her until she finally responded with a no and then sent her off to dress, promising he’d meet her down at breakfast.
Callum sat in bed for a few minutes after Charlotte left. How many mornings like this one had he given up, all in the name of hatred for his father? Katie was right. What she’d said the other day had sunk deep, casting light on something he hadn’t before realized. And now the truth gutted him, the grief of what he’d lost with Charlotte twisting inside him, that precious scene with her serving as a reminder of how many others he’d missed.
Callum climbed out of bed and quickly dressed himself. For now, all he could do was try his best to make up for lost time. And today that meant introducing Charlotte to her Scottish family.
He was surprised to find, however, that Katie had accompanied Charlotte downstairs for breakfast. Dark circles ringed her eyes, as if she hadn’t gotten much rest. But that and her fringe of dark lashes only served to heighten the sapphire blue of her eyes, and he stared at her, her loveliness hitting him anew. She quickly averted her gaze when she caught him staring.
“Did ye sleep well?” he asked.
She took a plate from the sideboard. “It was a restless night. I did not fall asleep until nearly two.”
He had a notion of what had kept her awake, but he dared not acknowledge it. “I hope tonight ye will fare better,” he said simply.
She nodded. “And you? Did you sleep well?”
Though it was obvious her inquiry was made out of simple civility, he appreciated it all the same. “Aye. Until I was awakened by a vivacious three-year-old.”
She gave him a rueful smile, glancing at Charlotte. “I am sorry, but it is impossible to hold her back once she sets her mind on something.”
“Do not apologize, even in jest.” He set a hand on her arm as she reached for the eggs. She flinched a little at his touch, her gaze reproachful, but he didn’t move his hand. “Every moment with her is a gift,” he went on. “I will be making up for lost time until the day she marries.” The solemnity in his voice seemed to give Katie pause, and she set her plate down. Callum continued. “I’ve spent a good deal of time thinking about what ye said. Ye were right. I didn’t understand the magnitude of what I was giving up when I left. My own hatred has stolen far more from me than my father ever did.” Those sapphire eyes stared back at him, glimmering with tears. He inhaled, his chest contracting. “And that includes ye.”
Her eyes widened, and she pursed her lips, trying to measure the sincerity of his words. This older Katie was more difficult to read, and he wished he knew what she was thinking behind that stoic expression.
It seemed she didn’t intend to make a reply, or perhaps she wasn’t ready to. Not that he expected one. “I’d like to take Charlotte to see my aunt and uncle and meet her cousins this morning. Will ye come with us?”
“Are you asking me or informing me?” There was an archness in her tone that made him rethink his request.
“Asking,” he said. “Though, I did promise I’d take Charlotte tae see the sheep. I doubt she’ll release me from that.”
“Not likely.” Her expression softened. “I think I should join the two of you. With so many new things for Charlotte in such a short amount of time, it would be best for me to stay with her.”
Her agreement to accompany them came as no great surprise; she rarely did anything without considering what would be best for Charlotte. He dipped his head. “Of course.”
After breakfast, Katie went upstairs to gather some extra layers for Charlotte while Callum hurried to the stables. He’d missed the smell of sunshine and hay and horses. The stables hadn’t changed much, and Bayard was in the stall where he’d always been. The horse nickered and drew closer, recognizing him after all this time. Bayard nuzzled his shoulder, and in return Callum rubbed the beast’s neck and stroked his black mane, feeling rather like the prodigal son, receiving a warmer welcome than he deserved.
“A big-one horse!” Charlotte’s enthusiastic cry made him turn. Her fists were tightened in excitement, and she jumped up and down. Another wave of love washed over him as he observed her clear adoration for all animals. Callum’s love for animals went only as far as Bayard, though he had a mild appreciation for sheep. As far as he knew, Katie had no great affinity for animals either. Charlotte’s love for them was all her own.
“Stay back, Charlotte. It is a big horse, and it has big, powerful legs. You must be careful,” Katie said in a stern voice.
“Bayard won’t hurt her. He’s very gentle,” Callum said. “Charlotte will be quite safe.” He picked the girl up and let her feed Bayard a carrot, and she squealed when he lipped her hand, looking for more.
One of the grooms appeared and helped Callum choose a dependable horse for Katie to ride. He half-expected Katie to insist Charlotte ride with her, but when he offered, she quickly shot down the idea. “I’m afraid I’m too out of practice with riding to feel equal to the task.”
Katie kept Charlotte close to her while Callum mounted. “She’s never ridden before.” Worry creased the center of her forehead. “She’s never known anything other than the irritable old donkey we had.”
“I promise I’ll not let any harm come to her,” he assured her. Callum was determined to be the best father in the world to Charlotte, to be everything his own father had not. And if that wasn’t inducement enough, he was slowly realizing that the way to Katie’s heart might very well be through their daughter. He had every intention of pleasing them both.
“You’ll see she holds on to the pommel?” she asked as she handed Charlotte up.
“I will.”
Soon they were out in the cool morning air, their backs bathed in the warm rays of the sun. He kept his pace slow, not wanting Katie to worry over Charlotte or fall behind. The fresh air swept past them, the smell so sweet that it stirred up memories of idle summer days and boyhood adventures. How could he have ever left this beloved land?
“Look, Papa! Sheep!” Charlotte pointed as they crested the first rise. White and gray sheep drifted across the hills as they grazed, like lazy clouds in an emerald sky.
Katie smiled indulgently as she looked over at Charlotte, though it was doubtful she appreciated the sheep—or their smell—quite to the extent their daughter did.
Callum’s anticipation grew as they approached the small crofter’s cottage that belonged to his uncle Blair. Surely his mother had shared the news of his return. Yet he had a surge of nervousness that wouldn’t be quieted.
Blair was repairing some of the stonework on the outside of the house, and Callum called to him when they were a quarter mile off. Blair waved his hand before briefly disappearing inside. When he reappeared, Aileen stood by his side. Callum sped his horse forward, and Charlotte laughed as she bounced up and down. He reined his horse in, surprised to find Katie close on his heels. Had she always been such a proficient rider?
“Callum!” Aunt Aileen called.
Katie dismounted and approached him, holding out her arms for Charlotte. “You go,” she said. He gave her a long look, touched by her offer. “Thank you,” he whispered. He handed Charlotte down, quickly dismounted, and strode toward his aunt and uncle. Blair crushed Callum in a firm embrace. Soon Aileen’s arms were around him as well, her hand cupping his neck. “Ye cannae know how ye’ve been missed,” she said over and over.
Being with them felt so natural, so right, it hardly seemed possible so much time had passed. Until Ewan appeared, almost as tall as Blair.
“This cannae be my cousin,” Callum said. “Surely not.” The boy colored, his long limbs awkward and untried, though his wide smile indicated his pleasure at Callum’s observation.
“And who is this?” Callum asked of the young man standing off to the side. “Jack? Och, no.”
Jack looked to be more a man and less an overgrown boy like Ewan. “Aye, it’s me. Ye cannae have expected us tae stay the same all this time, can ye?” He laughed. “We’ve been placing bets at the inn, who’d be seeing ye first. Everyone’ll be buying my whisky tonight.”
Ewan elbowed him and said to Callum, “I’m sure ye’ll be relieved tae know his tongue has grown right along with the rest of him. He talks as much as he ever has.”
“Good,” Katie said. She’d approached without Callum knowing. “For he was the first to greet me when I arrived here, and I’d be sad to know he was not the same young man who so gallantly helped me. Do you remember me?”
A slow grin spread over Jack’s face. “Aye. I never forget a woman who tips well.” He winked at Katie.
Callum felt an unfamiliar rush of jealousy and shoved at Jack playfully. “Go back tae the inn and collect your reward for the wager.”
“Aye, I will. And now that that’s settled, tonight everyone will be betting on how long ye’ll stay.”
Callum didn’t miss the way Katie’s body tensed beside his as she waited for his reply. He pulled some coins from his pocket and pressed them into Jack’s hand. “There’s no need for any more betting. Buy everyone a round of drinks, and tell them I am here for good.”
Jack tipped his head at Callum, eyes dancing. “A sure thing, Lord Rowand.”
There was silence for a minute as he walked away, leaving the family together. Katie hung back, and Callum realized she’d never been properly introduced to these people he loved so dearly. He took her elbow and guided her forward. “Ye remember my bride, don’t ye?”
Blair said nothing, and the silence grew strained. Finally, he nodded.
“Of course, of course,” Aunt Aileen murmured. She greeted Katie with a friendly smile. “Though, we never had the pleasure of a deeper acquaintance.” She glanced at Callum briefly, and then her attention returned to Katie. “Happy we are tae welcome ye back again. And is this yer daughter?”
“Yes, this is Charlotte,” Katie said. Her smile was gracious, if reserved. He sensed it was her own natural reserve, rather than any misgivings about the status of his relations, though that shouldn’t have surprised him—she treated her own servants, Harriet and Archie, as family. It was just one of many things he’d come to admire about her these past weeks.
“You’ll have to forgive her for making herself right at home,” she added, nodding toward Charlotte.
Their daughter had already climbed the wattle fence and was pointing at one of the collies Blair used to herd his sheep. “Come here, puppy. I pet you.”
Callum walked over to her and pulled her off the fence. “All right, my wee bairn. Come meet your aunt and uncle.”
As Katie made the introductions for Charlotte, Callum took stock of the house. The work Blair and Ewan had been doing on the outer wall was far from cosmetic. Several large cracks spiderwebbed through the large stones, and the thatched heather roof looked as if it might leak even on a sunny day like this one. Callum’s unease grew further as he observed his aunt and uncle. Neither of them had ever held much extra weight, but now they were lean in a way that made him think they didn’t eat three square meals a day. His first matter of business once he returned home would be to ask Davies about their current situation and see what he could do to address their needs.
Aileen invited the three of them inside. A peat fire crackled in the hearth, making the room warm and cozy as they gathered around the table. It finally occurred to Callum why the gathering didn’t seem complete. “Where is Olivia?” he asked.
Blair glanced at his wife. “She married the eldest MacDonald boy three years past. Now they’ve a bairn of their own and another on the way. Cousins for Lady Charlotte,” he said with a soft smile.
“Congratulations are in order, then,” Callum said, clapping his uncle on the shoulder. “You’re a grandfather.”
“And, as it turns oot, you’re a da yerself,” Blair replied. A long beat of silence indicated there’d be a reckoning when they had some time alone. “Though, it’s no thanks to ye that yer wee lass is so bonny.” Blair looked at Katie. “That credit belongs to ye.”
Katie smiled, and conversation began to flow naturally. Callum and Katie were peppered with questions about their journey from England, and Katie regaled them with tales of Cleo in the carriage. Charlotte charmed each one of them as she informed them all about kittiwakes. The six of them were so at ease that it was simple to imagine how things might have been if he’d never left.
Talk drifted toward the coming lambing season, who’d died and who’d had babies, and how Callum’s mother had been doing since the duke’s stroke. Everything but his four-year absence.
Callum finally made their excuses and stood, knowing Blair needed to get back to his work. He itched to stay and help, but he couldn’t allow Katie and Charlotte to ride home without an escort.
Katie stood and asked Charlotte to come and say her goodbyes. But Char-lotte was sitting by Ewan on the floor, mesmerized by a cat’s cradle string and the assortment of formations Ewan could make. “No, Mama. I want to stay.”
“Charlotte, ye must mind your mother,” Callum said as he walked over and knelt beside her. “We’ll come again, and Ewan can show ye more.”
She squinted her eyes in a look of defiance. “No.” She turned her head a little, peeking at Katie, trying to gauge her reaction. Then she pursed her lips and crossed her arms. “No!”
Tempted as he was to laugh, Callum picked her up as she began to kick and scream. “I want to stay!” she wailed, her little fists buffeting Callum’s chest.
“We will come another time, wee one. But ’tis time we returned home.”
“Charlotte,” Katie said sternly through her daughter’s continued protests.
“I want Ewan!” she yelled, pushing against Callum with a strength that belied her size.
“Charlotte Rose, stop that this instant,” Katie said, her voice pinched, but Charlotte kept on crying. Katie turned back and explained, “You’ll have to pardon her behavior. We need to get her home for a nap. She’s very tired.”
“Course she is,” Aileen soothed. “We had two of our own; we’re no strangers tae the nature of children. Rest assured, ye’ll grow accustomed to it. With mair bairns will come mair tantrums.”
Amidst Charlotte’s piercing screams, Callum saw Katie’s face turn white. Whatever had upset her, he certainly couldn’t address it now.
He continued to try to calm Charlotte, promising his aunt and uncle they’d come again soon. He followed Katie out, Charlotte’s howls of protest rising as he carried her out the door.
Kate was near to breaking. Perhaps it was Callum’s aunt alluding to the coming of more children, as if it were a foregone conclusion. Perhaps it was her weariness from too little sleep. Or perhaps it was how she’d softened to Callum’s tender words this morning and then fallen prey to his charm on their ride over, something she absolutely could not allow.
Whatever it was, it set her on edge.
“Charlotte, calm down and be reasonable,” she commanded, no sympathy in her voice.
Callum attempted to hush Charlotte. “I’ll give it a try, if I may.”
There was a bewildering struggle within Kate, a strange sense of relief that she had someone to help bear the burden in moments like this and the fear that with that extra someone being Callum, Charlotte would soon prefer her father over Kate. Not trusting herself to speak, she shrugged and mounted her horse with terse, jerky movements, settling herself into the sidesaddle as Callum tried to soothe Charlotte.
“Would ye like some biscuits when we get home?” he asked calmly.
“No!” Charlotte howled.
His brow creased in concentration. “What if I were to show you some new baby lambs when they are born in a few weeks? Would ye like that?”
Her kicking ceased, her face streaked with tears. “I wanna see the baby lambs be borned.” There was a stubborn edge to her voice that Kate knew all too well.
“Ye cannae—” Callum began.
Charlotte began to wail again. The sound swelled and grew, hitting a shrill pitch.
He closed his eyes with a heavy sigh, his face drawn. “Very well. If that is what ye want, ye shall see a lamb be born.”
Charlotte’s face broke into a look of triumph.
A wave of irrational anger crashed over Kate. She led her mount over to where Callum stood with Charlotte in his arms. “You cannot give her what she wants when she screams,” she hissed. “What will she learn if you give in every time she throws a fit?”
“Ye are right, of course—”
“Hand her up to me,” she spit out.
Kate didn’t look at him, merely took Charlotte into her arms, saw her settled and in position, and then took off at a speed that ensured Callum would not easily catch them. Kate’s chest heaved, and she felt angry tears blurring her vision. “Fast-one horse!” Charlotte yelled in delight, all traces of her tantrum disappearing.
But her daughter’s joy did nothing to soothe the tightness in Kate’s chest. Why did everything, every moment, feel so dreadfully hard right now? Why couldn’t she let go of the past and try to find joy in the hope of the future . . . even if it was still hedged about by uncertainty? She hated not having Harriet and Archie nearby. This constant fear was wearying. She was too tired to think or to reason, and her exhaustion made her fear she’d break down and sob.
Kate slowed once the house came into view. Her hands began to cramp from holding on too tightly, and she reined her horse, Willow, in. The sound of hooves on the gravel behind them alerted her to Callum’s presence. He pulled up beside her, and she could feel the weight of his gaze. She waited for him to rebuke her. She formulated a defense for her rudeness, yet he rode beside her without saying a word. Infernal man. She could spar verbally without any difficulty, but this strained silence wore on her.
“You’ll not convince me that what I said wasn’t merited,” she said finally, unable to bear it any longer.
Callum looked over, as if surprised to find her beside him. “I do not expect ye to. I was wrong, and I apologize. I’ve much to learn as a father. I know that.”
Kate pursed her lips, wishing he’d have responded differently so the hate in her belly would be justified and she could rail against him without guilt.
The gentle clip-clop of the horses’ trot filled the otherwise silent air. “My aunt meant no harm by what she said,” Callum said.
Kate winced and looked away. She’d hoped her reaction had not been obvious, but Callum always saw far too much.
He looked over at Charlotte, and a hopeful smile curled up the corners of his mouth. “It seems ye had no need to fear being out of practice with riding. Your brisk ride rocked Charlotte right tae sleep.”
Kate brought Willow to a halt and then glanced down, and sure enough, Charlotte’s head had lolled forward. The poor thing was exhausted. Kate gently pulled Charlotte’s head up and brought it to rest against her chest.
Callum dismounted, signaling to a waiting groom to take the reins of his horse. “Will she stay asleep, do ye think, if I take her from ye?”
“That all depends on how smoothly you transition her,” Kate said and gave him a wry look.
Callum straightened his shoulders. “I may not have much experience with children, but I’ve passed plenty of sheep in my day. If she wakes, it won’t be because of me, I assure ye.”
“We shall see. I daresay children require more careful handling than sheep.” She gave him a sideways glance. “I doubt you’ve ever lost a negotiation with one of your lambs.”
Callum tipped his hat. “Touché.”
Without further discussion Kate handed Charlotte down into Callum’s waiting arms. He took her weight easily, her arms going around his neck. “Papa,” she murmured drowsily. His jaw softened, his mouth edging up into a smile as he held her.
“Shall I take her up to your room?” he asked, so anxious to please that all of Kate’s anger melted away and a tender ache welled behind her breastbone.
She nodded. “Yes. Lay her on my bed.”
Callum turned to go but not before Kate noticed how Charlotte looked when he held her. How secure she seemed in his arms. And the faintest brush of a memory surfaced as she recalled how the warmth of those arms had felt around her.