Just for Kicks by Tracy Solheim

Five

* * *

ANDI STAREDAT him in astonishment. Surely, she hadn’t heard him correctly.

“Come, again?”

He nudged the bowl on her lap. “You heard me. No need to worry about getting that Slytherin, Kenny, to pay you back.”

She was dreaming. Any moment now, she would wake up. Except she wasn’t sure she wanted to wake up. Not when there was a sexy man seated next to her who looked at her as though she was holding a warm plate of cookies just for him.

And, oh my, was he sexy first thing in the morning. Stubble had begun to form on his jaw and his beautiful eyes had dark smudges beneath them making him look more like a pirate than the white knight she’d envisioned earlier. A pirate who’d swooped in to snatch the booty and offer it to her as a prize as if he’d plucked a flower from a meadow and simply handed it to her.

There had to be a catch.

There always was.

Emotion clogged her throat. “How—how much is this worth?”

“By my count, seventy-eight thousand, four hundred and fifty-three dollars,” Hal announced.

Dark spots began to form in front of her eyes. “It’s too much. I—I . . .”

“Hush.” He reached up and gently wrapped her fingers around the bowl. “When someone is being chivalrous, you’re supposed to be grateful.”

“I can’t take your money because I’m not going to marry you!” she blurted out without thinking.

He flinched beside her. Hal let out a low whistle.

“Um, you know what? It’s three in the morning,” Hal said. “I think I’ll head home. I’ll text you later, Fletcher.”

Dex didn’t bother responding. He kept his gaze trained on her. Andi swallowed roughly at the disappointment that flashed briefly in his eyes before it disappeared.

“It’s not my money, lass. It’s my opponents’ money. And now, it’s your money. Do with it what you wish. If I’d meant to force you to honor your end of the bargain, I wouldn’t be giving it to you, now would I?”

The sharpness of his tone was like a gut punch. She was being ungracious. But she couldn’t help it. In her defense, she wasn’t used to strangers showing her such kindness. Especially nearly eighty thousand dollars’ worth of kindness. But she was beginning to realize Declan Fletcher was not your average stranger.

“I duped you about the marriage. Yet you did—” She shook the bowl with such force, several of the chips slipped over the rim and onto the carpet. “—this! Forgive me if I don’t believe it’s sincere.”

He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry people have let you down, Andi. But I saw a way to fix your problem and I took it. Believe me when I say there are no strings attached.”

Well, he didn’t have to sound so definite about that last part.

“I’m sorry. I’m just not used to—”

“Kindness?” he snapped. He swiped a hand down his face. “Now I’m sorry. Forgive me. I’m hungry and I’m tired.” Steely eyes bored into her skin. “But know this, Andi Larsen. Everyone deserves kindness. Even you. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, pay it forward someday. Believe me, that can ease a litany of sins.”

Her chest squeezed so tightly it nearly cut off her breath. The idea that she’d experienced very little kindness in her life obviously troubled him. And that made her feel something so unexpected, she didn’t have a name for it.

With a groan, he got to his feet. “I’m going to find some food before we head back to the suite.”

“Wait!” She clamored after him. “What are you going to do about your situation?”

He checked his watch. “It’s too early to call Kurt. Although it would serve him right if I ruined his beauty sleep.”

“Do you think he’ll be able to resolve things before they . . . they—”

“Totally screw up my life and career by deporting me? Jaysus, I hope so.” A cocktail waitress shot him a sly smile as she passed by. “Of course, I could always find someone else to fulfill your end of the bargain.”

She didn’t like the way he checked out the other woman’s toned ass. Or the burning feeling bubbling up in her chest.

“You’d just marry a stranger?”

Judging by the look he shot her, she wasn’t the only one who thought it was a stupid question.

“Sorry. I’m a little jetlagged, also.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Lass, you just took a five-hour nap.”

“In a casino. It doesn’t count.”

One side of his mouth kicked up in another one of those smiles that made her insides quiver. He draped an arm over her shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go cash in those chips before you drop them in your exhaustion.”

As much as she enjoyed this lighter side of him—not to mention his muscled arm wrapped around her—the guilt still gnawed at her.

“What if Mrs. Hilbert’s son can’t come up with a quick fix?”

He gave her shoulders a squeeze. “Then I guess I’ll just have to marry Mrs. Hilbert. I’m sure she’d go through with it. In fact, she strikes me as the type who’d be a lot of fun.” He winked. “She’s awfully frisky.”

Andi stopped in her tracks. Words deserted her. He couldn’t be serious. The idea was beyond ridiculous. He was obviously delirious with exhaustion. But he was correct, Mrs. Hilbert would go through with it. She was the type who never passed on a good dare. The problem would be that the marriage would be so preposterous it would never pass muster with the authorities. The fact that her chest was still burning had nothing to do with anything.

“No.” Her objection had his arm tensing against her shoulders.

“No?”

“I’ll do it.”

He pulled his arm away and shoved his hands into his pockets. The lightness was gone from his eyes. “You’ll do what?”

Now he was just being obtuse. She glanced around to make sure no one was paying too close of attention to them.

“I’ll marry you,” she mumbled.

He leaned in closer. “I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.”

She was pretty certain he had. “You don’t have to call Kurt. Or his mother. I’ll hold up my end of the bargain. I’ll marry you.”

His silence stretched for so long, she worried she might just drop the bowl full of tokens yet.

“Make up your mind, lass. You said—more than once, mind you--that you wouldn’t marry me.”

His teasing demeanor was long gone. She could almost feel the tension radiating off of him. Gathering up her courage, she jumped in for real this time.

“But that was different. This won’t be a contractual arrangement. It will be more like a friend doing a favor for another friend.” She hefted the bowl of chips and shook it at him. “You did me a favor with no strings attached. I’ll be doing the same. It’s like Mrs. Hilbert said, we don’t have to be in love to be married. But if we’re two people who mutually respect one another, it’s okay.”

He stepped in closer, so that now, only the bowl of tokens stood between them. His eyes narrowed as he gazed down at her, studying her face carefully. The world seemed to fade away around them as she tried not to squirm under the intense scrutiny. The moment stretched and her heart began to race. After all this, he was going to reject her. Tell her she wasn’t good enough. That Mrs. Hilbert was a safer alternative. She’d heard it all before.

Bracing herself for the inevitable, she refused to acknowledge how deeply his answer would wound her. Which was totally ridiculous, because she’d only just met the man. But twice now, he’d shown her compassion for no other reason than it was the appropriate thing to do. Declan Fletcher was an enigma. One that she suspected could do more damage to her psyche—not to mention her heart—if she spent any more time around him. She ought to be relieved he was going to reject her.

“Then we do it now,” he shocked her by saying. “Tonight.”

“R-right now?”

He snatched the bowl of chips from her fingers. With his free hand, he steered her out of the casino.

“Yes, right now, lass,” he said, tersely. “I won’t risk you changing your mind again.”

Dumbfounded by his swift agreement, Andi let him drag her along, all the way reminding herself that none of this was real.

* * *

OF COURSE,THE judge Kurt hired was out of the question at this time of night—make that morning. That left them with taking a chance at one of the wedding chapels Las Vegas was famous for. Much to Dex’s surprise, however, many of them were too crowded for his liking. Apparently, quickie weddings were a booming business no matter what the hour. But the idea was to keep their marriage on the down low. The only people who needed to know about it were those trying to deport him.

They wandered to the farthest end of the strip, ending up in a small chapel tucked into what looked like a gas-station-turned-pizza-joint-turned-wedding-venue. A young woman manning the reception desk barely looked up from her phone when they entered.

“Can I help you?” she muttered half-heartedly.

“We’d like to get married.”

That got him a quick glance from her before she returned to whatever was so captivating on her phone. He wondered what she would do if he asked for a pepperoni pizza, as well. His stomach growled at the thought.

“Do you have an appointment?” she asked.

“Seriously?” Andi raised an eyebrow at the other woman before gesturing to the empty lobby.

The receptionist sighed. “I guess I can make an exception. As long as you have a license.”

The tone of her voice indicated she really hoped they didn’t have a license. Dex pulled the paper out of his back pocket, snapping it open with authority before laying it on the counter. He resisted the urge to smirk at her.

Barely.

The receptionist gave it a cursory glance before returning to her phone. “Princess, you’re up!”

Dex’s imagination ran wild as he imagined any number of the Disney princesses his sister Annis used to dress up as. He wasn’t sure he could stomach Belle performing his farce of a marriage ceremony. Instead, an older woman emerged from the back of the chapel. She was wearing a Princess Leia costume that was easily two sizes too small for her. Her long grey hair was coiled up in braids on the sides of her head. A light saber dangled from her finger tips. Dex wasn’t quick enough hiding his surprise. The woman narrowed her eyes at the chuckle he failed to swallow.

“If you’re looking for Elvis,” she said with a voice that sounded more Minnie Mouse than intergalactic princess. “You’re out of luck. He’s off this weekend. We’re running a Star Wars special that’s out of this world, though.”

He had to admire the woman’s pluck. “That sounds perfect.”

“That’ll be five hundred bucks,” the girl at the counter said.

At the sound of Andi’s sharp intake of breath, Princess Leia added “That includes photos and a video. Just give us a minute to set up the cameras.”

“No pictures.”

He realized his mistake too late when his harshly uttered words had the girl ditching her phone and now giving him her undivided attention.

“Just a ceremony and a marriage certificate will be fine,” Andi chimed in from beside him, offering a placating smile to both women.

Princess Leia’s eyes darted between his and Andi’s before she shrugged. “Suit yourself. But the fee is the same no matter what. When you settle up, come on back. Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca will serve as your witnesses.”

When neither he nor Andi showed any of the requisite excitement about their witnesses, she muttered something under her breath and disappeared into the back room. Dex withdrew five one-hundred-dollar bills from his wallet and handed it to the girl at the counter. She tucked it in a drawer before sliding a worn three-ringed-binder in his direction.

“Here’s our catalog of vows. Pick the ones you want to use.”

The back of his neck grew damp with sweat. He hadn’t considered this part. Would he have to promise to love Andi? Would it count if he crossed his fingers behind his back? He could certainly promise to respect and protect her, that wouldn’t be a lie. But love? Jaysus, what had he gotten himself into?

Andi was already leafing through the notebook. “No,” she muttered turning the pages. “No. No. No.” She huffed in annoyance. “How is the word obey still even in wedding vows these days?”

Dex nearly laughed. He was worried about giving her the wrong idea by pledging to love her until death do they part and the only thing she was growing indignant about was promising to obey.

“Does it really matter?” He tried to convey with his tone that none of this was real. Too bad he was having trouble believing that himself.

Her eyes narrowed for a breath before she nodded in agreement. She pointed to a paragraph listed under the heading ‘Short and Sweet Wedding Vows.’

“What about these?”

He scanned the words on the page.

Promise to love you forever.

. . . falling in love a little more every day . . .

Love of my life.

Soul-mate.

Dex slapped the book closed. “Isn’t there something generic we can use?”

The girl behind the desk responded with a sly grin. “Of course. Just tell the Princess you want the vows that go with the package.”

“Good.” Wrapping his fingers around Andi’s hand, he drew her into the chapel only to stop short when they crossed the threshold. The room didn’t resemble a chapel at all. Instead, it looked like the bridge of Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon, of all things.

“I’m kind of bummed you said no pictures,” she whispered beside him. “This is too crazy not to document.”

Her bright blue eyes bounced around the room taking everything in. The corners of her lips turned up in a bemused smile when she spied the Wookie standing at the altar. “She wasn’t kidding about Chewbacca.”

Despite being a lifelong fan of Star Wars, Dex couldn’t quite summon a similar level of excitement. “I can’t imagine this is what you anticipated when you dreamed of your wedding.”

She lifted her gaze to his. “I never let myself dream of a wedding.”

Her matter-of-fact statement rendered him speechless. What woman doesn’t dream of her wedding?

“No family, remember? No church.” She shrugged. “Definitely no money. In fact, this is much more than a girl like me could hope for. And it will definitely be memorable.”

Once again, he was reminded she wasn’t like most women of his acquaintance. She hadn’t spent long afternoons gabbing with her friends and dreaming of her picture-perfect future. Instead, she’d spent much of her life dodging the curve balls the world had thrown at her, doing what she had to in order to survive.

“Sorry.” The single word was wholly inadequate, but, insensitive jerk that he was, he couldn’t think of a suitable comeback. Of course, she took his callousness in stride, and that stung even more.

Her lips quirked. “Don’t tell me you spent your life dreaming of your marriage. Maybe proudly waiting at the altar wearing your kilt and one of those caps with the pom-poms on top?”

She couldn’t have hit him harder if she’d actually thrown a punch. The memory of standing at the altar, dressed exactly as she said, Niall proudly beside him, had the breath catching painfully in his throat. “Men don’t dream of their weddings,” he managed to grind out.

“Uh, huh. Your face says otherwise.”

He opened his mouth to object but she spoke first.

“Save it. This is a temporary arrangement. I don’t need to know all your secrets.” Still hand in hand, she dragged him up to the front of the chapel. “Come on, Highlander. Let’s do this.”

She was right. This was a temporary arrangement. No longer a business deal, but more like a pact. Between friends. Both of them were going into it with their eyes wide open. He’d just take a page from her book and play along with their absurd situation. Trudging up to the altar, he gave into the moment and felt himself begin to relax.

Right up until a pimply-faced Luke Skywalker opened his mouth. “Do you have rings?”

Dex flinched at the question. He’d insisted to Kurt that he would not wear a ring. Not only would it call attention to this pretend marriage, but it would be dishonest to the principles his parents instilled in him.

“We’re getting them tattooed after we’re official,” Andi quipped, before winking slyly at him.

Her quick reply caught him off guard. The damn woman was actually enjoying this. Her twinkling eyes dared him to do the same. A man could lose himself in those eyes if he wasn’t careful. Good thing he was famous for being cautious and methodical. Not to mention, sarcastic.

“Just as long there isn’t a nose ring involved.”

She smiled at his lame joke and he forgot to breathe. Damn, she was breathtaking when she wasn’t riddled with anxiety. A dimple he hadn’t noticed before peeked out of her cheek daring him to kiss it. He felt himself leaning in to do just that when Princess Leia spoke up.

“Beings from throughout the galaxies, we are gathered here tonight to eternally unite—” She glanced down at the license. “Declan Edward Fletcher and Andrea Faith Larsen.”

Faith. Her middle name was Faith.Dex couldn’t imagine a more appropriate name for the slight but steely woman standing beside him.

“This historic union will allow this couple to travel through the galaxy of life and provide them protection against aggressions from the Evil Empire.”

Beside him, Andi smothered a chuckle with a cough. Princess Leia eyed her sternly. Andi cleared her throat and nodded for the Princess to continue.

“Declan, do you take Andrea to be your wife?”

“I do.”

“Andrea, do you take Declan to be your husband?”

“I do,” Andi managed to say between giggles.

Princess Leia was throwing death glares now. “Declan, please turn to face Andrea and take her hands.”

Biting back another fit of laughter, Andi pivoted toward him offering both her hands. He took her small fingers in his.

“Declan, do you vow to make Andrea your Queen as you travel the galaxy? Do you pledge to stand with her within the illumination of her love, to comfort her, honor her, respect her, and protect her from the Dark Side from this day forward, until the Death Star do you part?”

A sweat broke out at the base of his neck at the mention of the “L” word. Andi seemed unfazed, however, too busy fighting off hysteria at the irreverence of the ceremony.

He cleared his throat. “I do.”

“Andrea, do you take Declan to be your wedded husband?  Do you pledge to stand with him within the illumination of his love, to comfort him, honor him, respect him, and protect his offspring from the Dark Side from this day forward, until the Death Star do you part?”

Andi’s eyes were shining with mirth. “I do,” she choked out.

Princess Leia huffed in annoyance. “Then, by the power vested in me by the Force and the state of Nevada, I pronounce you King and Queen, husband and wife. May your life together be full of happiness and peace and may the force be with you both always.” She nodded at Dex. “You may kiss your Queen.”

Andi arched an eyebrow at the word ‘Queen,’ her body beginning to twitch with pent up laughter. He tugged her closer, intending to peck her cheek. But the instant her body made contact with his, it detonated a storm of sensations within in him. Judging by the way her eyes went wide, she felt it, too. Keep it light, he told himself. He brushed her mouth with a kiss that was meant to be perfunctory, but at the small sound of pleasure that whispered past her lips, it turned into something else entirely. He mindlessly coaxed her lips apart, plunging deeper to explore the sweetness of her mouth as if it belonged to him. As if she belonged to him. She answered by curling her fingers into his shirt, and letting her tongue tangle with his. Suddenly his hands were no longer on her shoulders, but exploring the sweet curve of her ass. His heart was pounding so loudly in his ears, he almost didn’t hear the sound of a throat being cleared.

“We charge extra for a hotel room,” Princess Leia announced.

At the other woman’s words. Andi jumped from his arms as if she’d been burned. With unfocused eyes and swollen lips, she glanced around the room looking embarrassed.

Jaysus!

How had he lost his composure so quickly? He was renowned for his self-discipline on and off the field. But when he was around this woman it all flew out the window. That has to end now, he vowed. Because, while he couldn’t promise to love Andi, he could definitely see himself liking her. A lot. And that could turn out to be a very big problem when their fake wedding came to its contracted conclusion.