Chapter Nine

 

Elle

 

 

 

“And that’s when, after years of waiting, my molars finally came in. Can you believe that? Four years later than the national average! Too bad my parents knew I didn’t believe in the tooth fairy anymore by then, because I wanted to get that money, you know?” Zeke says with a laugh.

I clear my throat, not quite sure how to respond. “So, thanks for that lengthy tale,” I finally say, trying to be polite as I never asked him to give me a thirty-minute summary of the coming and going of his baby teeth. That’s right, I now know when he lost every single one of his baby teeth, how much money the tooth fairy left under his pillow every time, and when his adult teeth came in. Every. Single. One. Let me tell you, that’s a lot of teeth.

“I bet your teeth were perfect the moment you were born,” he says with a dreamy expression.

With every word that comes out of his mouth, I wonder if it’s part of his script and he’s spoken those words to a dozen other girls, or if he’s being genuine. There’s no way to tell. It’s freaking me out how cheesy he is. I’m all for a guy being considerate, but there’s considerate and then there’s over-the-top-chivalrous-bordering-on-insulting. I mean, who in their right mind asks a girl whether she wants her pizza cut into pieces for her like she’s a toddler incapable of basic tasks? I had to swat him away with my napkin just so I could cut my own food.

“Actually, I wasn’t born with teeth. No baby is. Well, some are. One in every two thousand babies are born with teeth.”

He tilts his head back and bursts out laughing. “Oh, Elle, you’re so funny. I didn’t mean literally.”

I frown. Then what did he mean?

“That’s a fun tidbit of information, though. One in every two thousand newborn babies have teeth, huh.”

I shrug. “Weird statistics are kind of my thing. I love learning new stuff.”

As he signals the waiter to order dessert, I glance at my phone. It’s been an hour since I last texted Colton and he hasn’t replied yet. His date is probably going great, which for some reason makes me feel jealous. That doesn’t have to mean anything, though. I can’t imagine Colton and his date talking about teeth all night, so being jealous of a normal date isn’t something newsworthy.

The waiter arrives at our table and starts reciting the specials, but Zeke cuts him short, probably wanting to know when the guy’s molars came in.

“That won’t be necessary,” he says. “We’ll have the cheesecake.”

Before I can protest and tell him I absolutely loathe cheesecake, he turns to me with the kind of smile most kids have on Christmas Eve. “They serve the best cheesecake here. You won’t regret it.”

I offer him a thumbs-up in reply. At least I’ll be out of here after dessert. I’m sure he means well, but Colton turned out to be right. The guy has got to work on his moves. I can hardly remember why I agreed to go on this date. Someone must’ve spiked my bottle of water at work earlier, because when I returned from Paris I swore not to start dating anytime soon. Having my food cut for me and being forced to eat cheesecake is what I get for breaking my own promises.

I manage a couple of small bites, just to be polite, but then I tell him I ate so much pizza I can’t possibly have another one. I’m relieved he asks for the check when the waiter clears the empty dessert plates from our table. Yes, empty, as in Zeke took it upon himself to eat his cheesecake and mine.

Outside, a car horn toots. Zeke waves out of the window to the driver.

“Who is that?” I ask.

He shrugs while taking the check out of the faux leather folder. “Oh, that’s my mom.”

“Your mom?”

“Yeah, whenever I go on a date, she comes and picks me up. It’s her way of making sure I arrive home safe and sound. I mean, no offense, but not everyone I go out with is in their right mind if you know what I mean,” he says with a shudder.

Unfortunately, I do know what he means. Too bad the irony of his words is completely lost on him.

He puts his phone on the table and opens the calculator app. “Okay, let’s see. You had the Margherita pizza, two glasses of water, and one glass of wine. Oh, I almost forgot the cheesecake.” He laughs at his own words, and I try not to hit him with my napkin.

“You want to split the bill?”

“Duh, we both consumed food and drinks, right? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being a gentleman, but I need to know a girl really well before I’ll pay for her.”

I get forty bucks out of my purse and throw the bills on the table. “Zeke, there’s no need to calculate this to the penny. This should cover my part.”

He frowns. “But you only owe thirty-seven fifty.”

I shake my head in disbelief and sigh. “Well, you can have my change.”

“Cool, thanks.”

I get up and use my last shred of politeness to smile at him. “Well, thanks for… this.”

“You too. I had fun.”

I can’t possibly say me too, so I just turn around and make my way toward the door.

“Oh, wait,” he says, jumping out of his chair and following me. He hands me an official-looking form. “Would you mind filling this out and sending it back to me? My email address is noted at the bottom.”

I glance at the paper, which looks like a pop quiz. I let my eyes travel over the page. “How would you rate this date on a scale of zero to ten?”

Oh my God, he’s got a questionnaire? I need to get out of here. Now.

“Call me,” he shouts as I speed walk away. “Or I’ll call you.”

I walk two streets before I dare to let myself breathe easily again. Zeke and his mom drive by, his mother tooting the car horn and Zeke waving at me before throwing an air kiss my way. Ew. I’m sorry, but there’s no way I’m catching that.

I arrive at a coffee bar called Sweets of Paradise, where a small path leads to a patio on the beach. In the distance, I spot the glow of the bonfire, but after the evening I’ve had, I’m not in the mood to go.

I kick off my shoes and walk over the soft sand until I come across a small wooden shack where ice cream is sold. Cheerful music blasts through the speakers, and the corrugated roof pieces all boast different colors. I step closer to scan the menu and settle for two scoops of strawberry ice cream with extra whipped cream and crushed nuts on top.

I sit down near the water and sigh when I taste the ice cream. This is so much better than that cheesecake I forced myself to eat a couple of bites of.

While I’m enjoying my sugary treat, my thoughts wander to France and everything I left behind there. Not that it’s much in terms of physical stuff, but… Life was completely different in Europe. There, I had the feeling everything was possible. Until Paul completely and utterly shattered the trust I had in him and left me with nothing. Now that I’ve had time to process what’s happened these last few weeks, I realize I’ve been naïve. I honestly thought the two of us had a future, but the more I think about it, the more it dawns on me that Paul was never truly there for me. He thought I could help his career and as soon as it became clear that I had different plans, he dropped me like a turd.

A deep voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Hey, you.”

“Colton?”

“Do you mind if I join you?” he asks.

I motion toward the space beside me. “Go ahead.”

He flops down, and I steal a glance at him. He’s barefoot, with his pants rolled up a bit so you can see his calves. I never realized how sexy calves can be up until now.

“I take it your date didn’t go well then?” he asks.

“What gives you that impression?”

He shrugs. “You’re sitting alone on a beach, eating ice cream. That doesn’t scream best date ever to me.”

I let out a laugh. “You’re right, it was the worst. What about your date?”

“Oh, it didn’t work out.” He angles his body toward me and crosses his legs. “What happened to you tonight?”

“Let’s just say Zeke is not my cup of tea. The entire evening was horrible.”

He frowns. “Horrible? That’s a strong word. Surely it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“He wanted to cut my pizza for me.”

Colton bursts out laughing.

“I’m glad you find this so amusing,” I say.

He holds his hands up. “I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at your expense, I swear.”

I chuckle myself now. “Don’t worry about it. It was quite laughable. After the cutting debacle, he talked about baby teeth, then forced me to have cheesecake, which I hate. When the check came, he made me pay my half. And then he gave me a questionnaire!”

By now, tears are streaming down his cheeks and he’s doubled over, clutching his stomach. For a moment, I’m afraid he won’t be able to breathe if he keeps laughing like this. “A questionnaire?” he asks in between fits of laughter. “Are you kidding me?”

I get the paper out of my bag and hand it to him. “I wish I was joking, but here’s the proof.”

He lets his eyes trail over the questions, still wiping away tears of laughter, then starts reading them out loud. “What did you think of the variety of topics we discussed? A. Great. B. Average. C. Not enough variation.” He puts the questionnaire in his lap and snorts. “This is golden. I thought these kinds of wacky things only happened in movies.”

“Want to know what else was wacky? Get this. His mother picks him up after every date. The guy’s twenty-three!”

Another burst of laughter from him, and I can’t help but laugh along. This entire evening has been too weird for words. Why cry when you can also choose to laugh, right?

After calming himself, Colton says, “Now I know why none of the girls who went out with him in the past wanted to share more details of their dates. They probably all got this questionnaire. You are going to fill this out, aren’t you?”

I slap him on the calf. “Are you crazy? I’m throwing this away as soon as I get home.”

“Don’t do that. You’ll want to remember this,” he says with a grin.

“I doubt that.”

“Come on, Elle. Whenever you feel bad, you can pick up this questionnaire and realize things aren’t that bad.”

I nod. “Maybe you’re right. But enough about my date. How did yours go? Did she give you a form to fill out?”

He looks out over the ocean, almost as if he’s avoiding locking eyes with me, and shrugs. “She bailed on me. I went for drinks with my friend Tyler instead.”

“She bailed on you? What woman in her right mind would bail on someone like you?”

Now he does catch my eye, and my stomach flips. How does he do that? Pin me down with just one look, causing my heartbeat to speed up a notch, and my lips to get all dry.

“Someone like me?” he asks, his voice lower than usual.

How am I going to explain what I meant by that without him knowing I think he’s extremely attractive and fun to be around? I can’t. My face doesn’t lie, or so I’ve been told in the past. “You know what I mean.”

I meant for that to sound casual, but the look in his eyes tells me he knows what’s up, and I know it too. A silly crush is brewing inside of me. I’ve got to put a stop to this before it goes too far. Give it a few days of being close to him, and I’ll fall for him. Hard. I can’t let that happen.

I swallow. “So, uhm, something must’ve gone wrong with your ability to get a woman to show up to a date. If you want, you can copy this questionnaire for when you next go out with someone, and then you can find out what the problem is.”

“The problem is that I don’t even want to date that bad,” he says. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those guys who has sworn off love or anything. I’m just not in a place to date.” He catches my eye and nudges my shoulder with his. “Look at the two of us, complaining about failed dates. Why don’t we make our own luck instead of moping?”

“What do you have in mind?” I ask.

“We could either go to the bonfire, or take the long way home and talk.”

I smile at him and get up. “The long way home, without a doubt.”