When Stars Fall by Wendy Million

Chapter Twenty-Three

Wyatt

Present Day

I storm into the kitchen. I was on the brink of something with Ellie. But I can’t ignore a call from Anna. Sometimes I’m the only thing keeping her from fleeing and taking Jamal with her.

“Anna?”

“Sorry, Wyatt, it’s me,” Camila says.

“What’s up?” With Camila calling instead of Anna, this conversation could go two ways, but I’m certain it’ll end up nowhere I’ll like.

“Anna’s gone. Kyle called when she hadn’t returned after a few hours. Her phone is here, obviously, so I’m not sure when or how she’ll get in touch with you.”

I groan and plant my back against the kitchen wall, sinking to the floor. “What else have you got going on? I’m only here for another day and a half. Then I’m back and I can take him.” She knows what’s coming. This isn’t the first time Anna has run off while I’ve been away. Camila flew with Jamal to Tokyo once. She wasn’t so happy at the end of that flight. Jamal is not a traveler. Good thing I pay her well.

“Wyatt.” There’s warning in her voice.

“Camila, you understand how important my time here is.”

“And you realize you and your sister aren’t my only clients. Yes, you pay me for my services, but other people do too.”

“Give me half an hour and I’ll call you back.” I hang up and dial Tanvi’s number. She treats Jamal like a grandchild and might be willing to take him for a day or two.

“Wyatt?” Tanvi answers the phone, surprise in her voice.

“Hey, Tanvi, sorry to call out of the blue. Anna’s taken off.” I wince. “Any chance you could take Jamal for a bit?”

There’s a long pause. “This happens a lot.”

“Yeah.” I close my eyes and take my stress ball out of my pocket to squeeze it.

“Maybe you should think about making more permanent arrangements?”

We’ve talked about this solution before. But I’m not going after custody of Anna’s kid. Whether or not she’s a good mom, she’d never forgive me.

“Can you take him for a couple of days? I should be back in a day or two.”

“Where are you this time?” Tanvi asks.

“Ellie.” She’ll understand. She called me after she watched Jackson’s show, but I didn’t tell her what I was doing then. No point in getting her hopes up.

“Ellie!” Her voice is delighted. “Finally. Finally.” Tanvi laughs. “I’ll pick up Jamal. But if Anna comes to my house again looking . . .”

“Don’t let her in. Call Kyle. Hopefully I’ll be home by then.”

Tanvi wishes me good luck with Ellie. When I hang up the phone, I’m lighter, more hopeful. I text Camila and Kyle the arrangements and then shove my phone into my pocket just as Ellie comes into the kitchen.

“Is everything okay?”

“Anna’s run out on Jamal. I had to find someone to watch him for a couple of days.” I scan Ellie from her ponytail to her smooth, tan legs.

“Who took him?” She runs her hand along the counter.

“Tanvi.” I grimace. “I hope Anna doesn’t go to her house this time before I get home.”

“Anna still gets violent?” Ellie crosses her arms over her chest.

“It’s gotten worse as she’s gotten older. She’s aggressive when she’s been using, when Jamal isn’t where she thinks he should be. If Kyle and I aren’t around, she’s not allowed in the main house until she dries out.”

“Where does she go to dry out?”

“I have a guest house on the property. It’s not much, but it’s enough for the few days she always needs to get back on the right track.”

“How . . . I mean—?” Ellie’s expression is unreadable. She sighs. “I don’t want to be around that, Wyatt. How can you be around that and not relapse?”

There have been many nights in my bathroom, staring at the drugs Anna brought home, contemplating how bad one hit or one oxy would be. So far, I’ve always flushed them or thrown them out or gotten someone to take them from me. But I understand Ellie’s concern. “I’m committed to being better,” I say. “I don’t want to lie to you. There have been days where it’s hard to stay clean. Exceptionally hard. But I don’t want that life. I’m not going back.”

“And Anna?” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “You’re committed to helping her too? No matter what?”

The direction of this conversation isn’t good, but I’ve let my sister down too many times in this life already. I won’t do it again. “I can’t turn my back on my sister, Ellie. Definitely can’t turn my back on Jamal.”

“Right.” She reaches up and yanks her ponytail tighter. “I guess I need to consider that too.”

“What does that mean?”

“Anna and I didn’t get along. I—I can’t put . . . I don’t want to be in a situation where someone might get hurt.”

“There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell I’d let her hurt you, Ellie.”

“You’re not always there! Has Anna hurt Tanvi? Hurt Kyle? Or you? Obviously you can’t control Anna. I’m not blaming you, but it’s not realistic to say she wouldn’t hurt someone else—me . . . or anyone.”

When Anna is using heavily, she’s difficult to control, and she’s unpredictable. I’ve never asked Anna how she treated Jamal before he came to live with me, but I’ve done everything I can to maintain distance between them when she’s using. “You keep tossing up roadblocks, Ellie. If it’s not one thing, it’s another.”

She throws up her hands. “These are real concerns. My safety,” she hesitates before continuing, “and the safety of anyone else in that house is compromised by Anna being there.”

“You want me to kick my sister and her son out on the street? Turn my back on them? Come on, Ellie. Years ago, you would have been proud of me for helping her.” She won’t look at me. “Even if she wasn’t my sister, there’s a child involved. I have to help her. I have to.”

Ellie starts to say something and then snaps her mouth shut. “It’s just another thing I have to consider. I mean, where do you see this going? You and me? What’s the five-year or ten-year plan?”

“I want you. To live with you, marry you, start a family with you. Us. The way I always wish we’d ended up.”

Tears pool in her eyes, and she shakes her head.

“What?” I step closer. “That’s surprising?”

“I’m not sure what to do. This is so impossibly complicated.”

“Say yes, and we can work everything else out. Nothing here is so complicated we can’t fix it together.” I’m standing in front of her now. Look up, Ellie. Look up.

She shakes her head again and refuses to meet my eyes. “I should take you back to the hotel.”

“Ellie.”

“I just need some space,” she blurts out.

“I’m only here for another day. After tomorrow, you get all the space you ever wanted.”

“God, Wyatt. I never wanted any space. I didn’t. I wanted you to come for me. I wanted you to get help. I wanted the house and the kids and the life. I wanted all of it.” She closes her eyes and presses her hands to her face. Tears spill unchecked, but she still won’t look at me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, drawing her close and wrapping my arms around her. “I’m so damned sorry.”

“And then you show up here with no plan, no idea how we’ll work. You don’t tell me about Anna and Jamal. It makes me wonder what else you’re keeping from me.” She draws back and her dark eyes are accusing. “What else aren’t you telling me?”

“Why do you think there’s something else?” Now I’m the one avoiding eye contact.

“Probably because I wasn’t told about the first thing you were hiding.” She laughs, but it holds no humor. “We’re not doing this anymore. I can’t. It’s exhausting. I need a break.” She doesn’t wait for my answer. Snatching her keys off the island, she goes through the door and to the garage.

I follow her, head spinning. Something isn’t adding up. Younger Ellie would have been pissed at me, but not like this. Nothing like this. She opens her car door, and I grab her arm. “What aren’t you telling me, Ellie? Something is holding you back. I don’t think it’s the drugs, the fame—not even Anna. It’s something else. I can’t figure out what it is.”

She swallows. Over her shoulder, she says, “That doesn’t seem like enough to you? All of those are a problem. Every single one. Combined, they seem like a sign to me.” Shrugging off my hand, she slides into the car and starts it without another word.

Reluctantly, I go to the passenger side and duck in. The drive to my hotel is silent. I stare out into the darkness, sure I’m missing something. I replay conversation after conversation, but I can’t crack the mystery.

“What time tomorrow?” I ask when I can’t take the silence anymore. I’m going to need a new stress ball at this rate. Possibly a whole case. She doesn’t respond. That’s fine. I’ll wait her out. When we pull up to the hotel entrance, I don’t get out of the car. “Time?” I repeat.

“We’re done, Wyatt.” Her jaw tightens.

“We’re not done, Ellie.”

She turns her body toward me, anger written across her face. “You don’t get to decide that.”

“You’re right. I don’t. But you know what I’ve figured out over the last couple of days? You still have feelings for me. Whatever they are, they’re there. When we make eye contact, when we brush against each other, when we’re in the same room—we’re alive. So if it makes you feel better, you can tell me we’re done. We both realize that’s not true.” I climb out of the car and slam the door.

I storm up to my room, taking the stairs two and three at a time. Once I’m there, I grab the first bottle out of the minibar. I snap the top off and pour it down the drain. I toss the empty bottle into the garbage can and grab the next one.

Ellie’s not getting rid of me. I’m getting my last day with her even if I have to go to her house and stand at the gates until she lets me in. Last time, I wasn’t persistent enough. This time, I’m not walking away.

There’s something going on that I don’t understand. And I’m gonna crack that too. I twist the cap off the bottle in my hand and stare at myself in the mirror.