When Stars Fall by Wendy Million
Chapter Thirty-One
Wyatt
Present Day
“Ellie,” I murmur. For the first time in years, her name on my lips as I wake up is a comfort. I reach out an arm to secure her warmth against me again. Instead, I’m met with a cold mattress. With a frown, I rub the heels of my hands into my eyes and sit up.
“Ellie?” I squint into the semi-light sneaking through the curtain. She must be here somewhere. Please, let her be somewhere. Anywhere but gone.
The curtains to the balcony are still shut, so I check the bathroom first and freeze. “Shit!”
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
My shorts are on the floor, and I fish out my phone from the pocket. No messages from her. I hit redial on Calshae’s number and rub my forehead. This is not good. You fucked up, Wyatt.
“Need a ride?” The buzz of the hotel in the background almost drowns out her voice.
“Yes.” I yank out clothes from my packed bag and tug them on while keeping the phone to my ear. “To Ellie’s.”
“Wyatt, you’ll miss your flight if I take you to Ellie’s. What happened?”
I check the clock on the bedside table and realize she’s right. I’ll be lucky if I make my flight as it is. Being with Ellie last night made me forget anything else existed. I didn’t set an alarm. Tanvi won’t ever agree to watch Jamal again if I don’t show.
“Fuck.” I grab the tips of my hair. “I’ll be down in a minute.”
With my dirty clothes from the floor tucked into my bag, I practice deep breathing. I sweep the room for anything I might have left behind and try to keep a level head.
Maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe she’ll be reasonable.
A piece of paper is propped against the bottles in the bathroom. In giant letters, she’s scrawled: How could you? What else have you lied about?
Reasonable is out the window.
Each bottle represents my weakness, and I throw them at the shower wall. A few are glass and shatter on impact. The sharp sound is satisfying, but the tang of alcohol fills the room again, reminding me I’m an idiot.
A fucking mess. I drag my hands down my face. Tommy, my manager, has probably been earning his money this week. I scroll through my recent calls.
“I need the name of whatever family lawyer you turned up,” I say as soon as he answers.
“Hello to you too, Wyatt. Why would you want that? Your little family promotion parade yesterday was gold. TMZ has taken the bait. They’re running with their version of reality. You, Ellie, Haven—a secret family for years, everyone was duped.”
“I fucked up.” I sink into the desk chair. My leg bounces. I need a run. Or to go box. Something physical. The flight home will kill my nerves.
Silence greets me on the other end of the line. “What’d you do?”
“I was drinking,” I admit. Even saying the truth out loud is a betrayal. So stupid. I was so close to getting everything I wanted. “There’s no way in hell Ellie’s going to let me near Haven now.”
“Who knows?” Tommy is in damage-control mode. He’s scrambling for a pen and paper, I’m sure.
“No one. The hotel owner’s daughter, who is also Ellie’s friend, thinks I poured them down the drain. I had myself half convinced I did.”
“Hmm . . .” Tommy taps the pen on the table. “She believed you?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I hope so.
“Bluff. Have her confirm to Ellie you weren’t drinking, that you poured them down the drain. Come back at her hard, full of confidence.”
“With what?” Adding more lies to the mix seems like a bad idea, but if I’m honest, I’ll take any chance I have with Ellie and with Haven. She won’t believe I can control this, that alcohol doesn’t spiral into drug use.
“You and Ellie have been getting along?”
If this morning hadn’t happened, I would have said we’d been getting along very well. Even before last night, there’d been an ease between us, as though we both remembered how good it could be if we let ourselves go there. That ease will be gone now. I lean forward in the chair, resting my elbow on my knee, letting my head fall into my hand.
“They’re still after a costar for your next movie.”
“Seriously, Tommy?” She won’t agree to be anywhere near me. I’ll have to fight dirty to see Haven after this morning.
“It’s not a terrible idea. The publicity will be huge.”
“Which she’ll hate.” Tommy is used to me, someone who loves the press. Ellie has never been a fame whore like that.
“You can insist Haven comes to set. Prove to Ellie you can stay clean and sober. You can do that, can’t you, Wyatt? Be sober?”
“I wasn’t drunk. A couple drinks. I didn’t know Haven was my kid. Ellie dropped me off, and I started to pour them out. Most of them went down the drain. That’s the truth.”
There’s a knock on the hotel door.
“Not sure how much the truth matters anymore, Wyatt, my boy. You’re gonna have to spin this like you’ve never spun anything before. Your drug- and alcohol-filled exploits haven’t exactly been discreet.”
“I realize that.” I cross to check the peephole. “I gotta go.” I hang up and swing the door open in one movement.
“We’re not going to make it.” Calshae enters the room before I invite her in. “Were you drinking? Smells like alcohol in here. Please tell me you and Ellie didn’t get drunk last night and sleep together.”
I raise my eyebrows, at a loss for words.
“Oh, Lord.” She whistles. “Which part of that is true?”
“We were not drinking last night. But I did throw empty minibar bottles at the shower wall.”
“Why?”
“Ellie found them in the trash after I fell asleep last night. Then she left.” The reality of how stupid I was keeps slamming into me. She was here, and we were on the cusp of something, something good. We won’t recover from this. I can feel it in my bones. She’ll keep me away from her, from Haven, and I’ll have to fight tooth and nail for the bare minimum.
“Can you reschedule your flight?” She grabs my carry-on suitcase and deposits it by the door.
“I need to get to LA for Jamal.” My phone is heavy in my hand. Tanvi will understand if I call, just as long as Anna’s still on her bender and not trying to break down her door. “When’s the next flight out?”
“Three hours.” She checks her watch for confirmation. “I’ll have enough time to take you to Ellie’s, for you two to hash it out real quick, then to the airport. The hashing part will need to be unbelievably quick.” Her dark eyes are sad when they meet mine. “Maybe you shoulda let me have someone clean your room.”
Of course, that might mean I’d have someone selling “Wyatt Burgess on a Bender” stories to the press. Not quite true. Truer than I’d like.
“How many bottles were there?” She peeks into the bathroom and retreats.
“All of them.” I don’t mention the phone call to the front desk to order more in a moment of weakness. Luckily, she doesn’t spend long enough in the bathroom to count the bottles lying around. The number of unbroken plastic ones screw my story right away. “Would you . . .” I clear my throat, gathering my nerve. “Would you consider telling Ellie you never saw me drinking, never smelled any alcohol on me?”
“That’s true.” Calshae gives me a rueful smile. “It’s just . . . I can’t say for sure that you weren’t drinking. I know you told me you poured them down the drain.” She eyes me. “I’ll bet you’ve learned a thing or two about how to cover your tracks over the years?” Her voice rises at the end.
I’ve brought my A-game to this conversation. My facial expression is going to match these words. I will not crack. She needs to be in my corner or Ellie will never let me near my daughter again. “I understand what’s at stake. I was not drinking.” If she checks my room bill, she’ll catch my lie.
“But you still drink?”
“Not anymore.”
“Poor Ellie.” Calshae chuckles. “How is she ever certain you’re telling the truth? Your ability to sidestep a direct question is astounding.”
“Will you help me or not?” I sigh.
“I’ll help you. You want to be better, but you’re not there yet. You can keep your foot in the door. But you’re going to need a crowbar for Ellie to let you in after this.”
If a crowbar is what I need, I’ll find one. No matter what it takes, I’m wedging myself into Haven’s life, and Ellie’s too.
“I’ll meet you downstairs.” She picks up my bag. “We’re going in the secret entrance to Ellie’s place?”
“Yes. Can you get in touch with her security?” I’m already dialing Yasmeen, my travel agent, to get on a new flight.
“Yeah, I can do that.” Calshae shoves the suitcase out the door.
I turn away from her while I fill in Yasmeen, and then call Tanvi and tell her my flight’s been delayed. She could check my lie, but she won’t. No matter how things go with Ellie, I’ll be in LA today. She tries to talk about Haven, but I brush her off as kindly as I can, saying we can chat about my daughter over tea in person.
To get to Ellie’s house, Calshae takes us on a long detour to lose the paps trying to follow us. The ride gives me too much time to ponder the depths of Ellie’s anger. I lied. I’m going to keep lying. But I’m done drinking. That certainty needs to beat like a drum in my head when I talk to Ellie. I must convince her I’m clean and sober.
Dipping into the path, Calshae glances behind her before accelerating along the tight route. Parking in front of the side entrance, she peers behind us again. “Do you want me to come in?”
“Yes,” I say, gruffly. “I need you to tell her what we agreed.”
Climbing out of the car, she knocks on the side door.
Nikki answers, a weary expression on her face. “Haven’s here, Wyatt. Ellie’s barely holding it together. You were drinking?”
Each of her phrases is a bullet to my gut. “I wasn’t drinking. Ellie doesn’t understand. I need to talk to her.”
Nikki glances over her shoulder and then whispers to me, “Based on how Ellie’s acting, I can guess what happened between you two last night.”
“She misunderstood.” That part I believe. She sees a few minibar bottles as a sign of my addictions. A weakness, maybe. But alcohol is not a problem. I’m not downing a bottle of Jim Beam every night.
“I bet you’ve never lied to her about something like this before.” Nikki raises one eyebrow.
I hate how she’s gotten to the root of Ellie’s anger. Whether I’m telling the truth or lying doesn’t matter. Ellie will believe whatever she wants to believe because she thinks she understands how I operate. Those empty bottles are not indicative of who I am now, and I won’t let her turn me into someone I’m not.
When we come through the kitchen and into the living room, Ellie rises from the couch, and her tear-streaked face is a knife to my heart. My gut clenches. I did this. After telling her she wouldn’t be sad with me anymore, I’ve ripped her heart out.
“Ellie.” I shove my hands in my pockets to keep from sweeping her up, comforting her.
“No.” Holding up a hand to ward me off, she pressed her other one into her chest. “You’ve been drinking. You promised me you were clean.” Her voice catches. “There’s nothing you can say right now. Nothing.”
Beside me, Calshae’s intake of breath is audible in the room. “I never saw him drinking, never smelled alcohol on him. He poured those bottles down the drain in a fit of rage.”
“Did you see him do that?” Ellie crosses her arms.
“Yes.” Calshae doesn’t look at me, doesn’t elaborate.
Ellie’s jaw is tight, and she comes around the couch. Her brown eyes scan my face, searching for the truth. It’s buried deep. All she’ll find is my lying confidence. She comes almost toe-to-toe with me. She turns to Calshae. “I don’t believe you.” Then she stares at me. “I don’t believe you either.”
“You’re wrong not to trust me.” Confidence oozes out of me. Whatever I have to say or do, I’m going all-in today. She’s not shutting me out.
“Supervised visits, that’s what you can have.” She whirls to leave my side.
“Perfect. That’ll be great during our joint filming schedule.” The words are out before I can reconsider. Ah, well. Maybe Tommy was on to something. At least this way, she’ll be forced to spend time with me, and I will not screw up again. I understand the stakes now. I didn’t when I let the liquid roll down my throat, warm my stomach, soothe my rage. If I’d been aware of what I was risking, I wouldn’t have allowed myself the luxury of a few drinks.
“I’ll be at the car. Watch your time.” Calshae ducks out of the room to the kitchen.
Good instincts. A fight is brewing.
“I have my own commitments.” Ellie scoffs. “Just because Kathleen Kirkton flaked out doesn’t mean I step in. Any movie with the two of us would be a media circus.”
“Fine.” I swallow my anxiety, and I raise the stakes. “I’ll take you to court. There’s a lawyer lined up.”
She glances at Nikki. There’s no surprise between them. Evelyn must have told her. Her mother has been giving everyone’s secrets away. Nikki rises from the couch and disappears down the hall. Is she going to monitor Haven or giving us privacy?
“Court wouldn’t go well for you.”
“Who knows? I’ll take my chances.”
“Haven,” Ellie says. “She doesn’t deserve to be dragged through a messy court battle.”
“You don’t believe I haven’t been drinking. Fine. I have a promotional tour for Sixty Seconds to Live—it’s not long. Then I should start work on the Kirkton project if we have a new lead. Step in for her. Give me a chance to prove I’m not the man you think I am.”
“You couldn’t stop drinking for a week. Why would I tie myself to you for months?”
“We’re already tied for years. Her name is Haven.”
She lifts her hair and lets it fall and then gathers it up again, placing it over one shoulder. With her arms crossed, she bites her lip. “Why this project?”
“Why not a movie project? We’ll both have a few weeks to cool off. Then we have a few months to work together. During our free time, we can figure out this family thing.”
“This ‘family thing’?”
I don’t like her mocking tone, but I’m also not letting this opportunity go. I’m close to winning her over. She doesn’t completely hate the idea, though I’m surprised. “You, me, and Haven.”
“I’m off the table. There will be no relationship between you and me. We’re not anything. Co-parents. We’re not a family.”
Her words slice through me. I came here for her, but with Haven in the picture, a life I never knew I could have stretches out in front of me. But it doesn’t include supervised visits or never being with Ellie again. After last night, I want it all.
“We could be a family. I know you’ve felt it too. It’s possible.”
“You’re lying to me. Not a doubt in my mind.” She points her finger at my chest. A deep shuddering breath only partially conceals the sob rising into her throat, leaking into her voice. “And it breaks my heart that I let myself believe you were better than this last night.”
The sob escapes her now, and I draw her into my arms. She comes willingly, and my shirt absorbs her tears while my heart breaks with hers. One stupid fucking mistake, and it’s all crashing down around me.
“I’ll prove you wrong,” I murmur into her hair. “Do the movie. I’ll prove you wrong.”
“We’ll never be anything again.” Ellie pushes away from me, sniffing and wiping her tears.
There’s so much conviction in her voice that anger rises in me. One mistake, one I didn’t realize had this much weight, shouldn’t have the power to undo the progress we’ve made this week.
“Tell me last night meant nothing,” I say.
Ellie steps toward me, fury vibrating off her. “It meant everything to me.” Her voice fills with agony. “And then I found twenty minibar bottles in your garbage.” She points her finger at me again. “Tell me the truth. Did you drink them?”
“No,” I fire back. “I’m not drinking.”
Her shoulders drop, and the fight goes out of her. “I’ll do the movie. But I’m doing it for your relationship with Haven. That lie—the one you just told me—it cost you us. I can’t trust you.”
If I told her the truth now, the consequences are laid out before me. Supervised visits, court battles, more lost time. She’s giving me the movie. Months of time. I can win her over. Show her that whether or not I was drinking here, she can trust me. I’m not returning to my old habits.
A text pops up on my phone from Calshae. I need to go, or I’ll miss this flight too. “I have to go,” I say. “I need to get home to Jamal.”
“Have your manager contact mine with the details. We don’t need to talk.”
“We have a daughter.” I throw up my hands. “You’re not denying me access to her.”
“I’ll figure out a way for you to speak to her that doesn’t involve me.” She glares at me.
My instinct is to dig in and keep fighting, but the longer I press her, the worse what little is left of our relationship will get. If I leave now, maybe we can salvage something. We both need time to cool down. “Make sure you do.” In frustration, I run my hands through my hair before passing her on my way to the side door.
“Did you get what you wanted?” Calshae asks when I climb in beside her.
“Not yet,” I say. “But I’m one step closer.”
