Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Eleven

Afew weeks later, I came out of my bedroom and found a half-naked Johnny making eggs. Dressed in his boxer briefs, he whizzed around the kitchen as though he was born to cook. I froze. Where was our dorm room sock on the door code? I wasn’t wearing pajamas for the quarterback of the college football team to see. Slowly, I turned to head to my room, but he caught sight of me.

“I’m making Annika breakfast. Do you want any?” His disinterested gaze swept over me before turning to the eggs in the pan.

“Ah, that’s okay.” I crossed my arms over my braless chest. “I didn’t realize you were here.” My tank top and shorts didn’t leave a lot to the imagination, but now that I was caught, I shouldn’t be rude.

“Anni told me about the spare key. I used it when we got home from our away game. Some of the guys were going out. She wasn’t in the mood.” He took a plate out of the cupboard and slid the eggs onto it.

The toast popped, and he buttered the slices before stacking them on the side. He grabbed a knife from the drawer, the ketchup and jam from the fridge, and balanced everything as he sauntered back to Annika’s room. In another life, he must have been a skilled waiter.

Grabbing a bowl of cereal, I headed to my room to eat it. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to Johnny again when both of us were half dressed. When I checked my phone, there was a text from Sebastian at four in the morning.

I need a Nattie fix. I’m going through withdrawal.

My heart thumped. I stared at the text. How did I respond to that? Should I? Finally, I closed my phone and got ready for my class, deciding he’d probably been drunk. Maybe didn’t even remember sending it.

I threw on jeans and a sweater, packed my bag, and dumped my dishes in the sink. Here’s hoping Johnny did cleanup as well as cooking.

Before I got to my class, I spotted Sebastian at a distance. I grinned and opened my mouth to call to him when a girl approached him. She was tall, blonde, and model thin. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her body close. My grin faded, and I shook my head, focusing on the building in front of me.

Those hand slaps when I was on the cusp of opening the cookie jar were a good reminder. Someone fell into step beside me, and I looked over in surprise.

“It’s been a while.” Clay smiled. “How ya been?”

I returned his smile, pleased to run into him. “Really good. How about you? Where are you headed?”

“204. You’re in 200, right?”

“You always knew my schedule better than me,” I teased.

When we reached the threshold of my classroom, Clay said, “Are you going to the football party tomorrow night?”

I frowned and shrugged. “Maybe? I don’t know. Since Annika and Johnny have gotten so tight, she doesn’t make me tag along anymore.”

“Well, I’m going. Maybe I’ll see you there. It’d be nice to catch up.” Clay rubbed my shoulder and then he continued along the hall.

As I walked in and took a seat, I realized I couldn’t go to the football party if Clay wanted to catch up. Now, if I did turn up, he might take it as a sign I was interested again.

While I took notes, mentally bemoaning Clay’s inability to let go, my phone buzzed. I glanced down, trying to make it less obvious. The professor had a no phones policy, but I had an addiction problem.

On campus. If you want a ride home, meet me at the field.

Annika. I could walk, but the weather had turned cooler, and a ride was a much better idea. There was a chance I might be able to convince her to spend a girly afternoon getting manicures and pedicures.

As soon as the professor dismissed the class, I hustled to the football stadium. Would Annika give up any details about her night with Johnny? Did I want to know? Something about the guy rubbed me the wrong way. Was it that he didn’t like me?

Outside the main entrance to the playing field, Annika chatted to Johnny and a couple other football players. When I approached, Johnny plucked Annika’s phone out of her hand, typed in her password, and started scrolling.

Weird. When had Annika given him the code? And why? My life was in my phone. I couldn’t imagine giving the password to a guy I’d been dating for a month.

“Who’s Brian?” Johnny frowned.

Annika peered over the edge, a matching frown on her face. “A guy I went on a date with ages ago. It didn’t go well. I should delete his contact.”

Even from where I stood, Johnny’s thumb hitting the trashcan icon was crystal clear.

“Anyone else you want to get rid of on here?” He scrolled through her contacts.

She snatched her phone back. “Maybe just you.” Her tone was teasing.

He looped his arm around her waist and yanked her to him. “You wouldn’t dare,” he growled and then leaned down to kiss her neck while the rest of us looked on.

Annika giggled and pushed at his shoulders. “Stop!” She turned her head away. “Seriously, Johnny! I don’t want a hickey. They’re gross. Stop sucking on my neck!” Annika shoved on his shoulders again, and I stepped forward, uneasy.

Johnny raised his head and gave Annika a quick kiss on the forehead. “Don’t worry, Natalie.” He didn’t bother to look at me. “We have practice, so you can have her back now.” His hands lingered on Annika’s waist. “I’ll see you later?” He studied Annika.

She nodded and grabbed him around the neck to give him another quick kiss before looping her arm with mine and walking to her car.

“He knows your phone password?” I asked as we slid into the vehicle.

Annika sighed. “I guess? I told it to him weeks ago when he wanted to watch one of the videos I had on my phone. He has a crazy memory though, so I’m not surprised he remembered.”

“It’s kind of weird he deleted Brad’s information, isn’t it?” I tried to keep my voice light and casual.

“Nat.” Annika’s tone was full of warning. “It was Brian, not Brad, and it’s not that weird. He’s good. We’re good.” She rubbed her hands together. “I’m happy. I’m really, freaking happy.”

With a deep breath, I said, “I was surprised to see him this morning when I came out of my room in the tiniest pajamas I own.”

Annika gave me a half grin and shook her head. “Sorry. It just kinda happened.”

“And it was good?” That was the only detail I wanted.

Annika tugged her sleeves over her hands and started the car. “So good. If you’d said any of this would happen last year, I’d have laughed in your face. But he told me last night that he doesn’t want to be with any other girls anymore. Just me.” She gave me a triumphant grin. “So, if he wants to check my phone and delete guys, I couldn’t care less.”

With pursed lips, I contemplated my next comment. “You know his password?”

“Nope. Doesn’t matter. I trust him. We spend all our time together. When’s he going to be with anyone else?”

A valid point. I hardly saw her anymore without Johnny attached. Impossible he could be doing anything with anyone else who wasn’t her or a member of the football team, right? Still, doubt ate at my gut.

She took her phone out and changed her password in front of me. “Happy?” That lamp shone out of her eyes again. It was the same way I pictured an addict looking—enthralled.

I held up my hands. “It’s your phone. It would have bothered me to have a guy do that to my phone.” The Annika I’d known before Johnny would have been bothered by it too.

She shifted the car into gear, and we drove toward the exit. When I looked over my shoulder, Johnny stood inside the main doors, watching us leave.

“Have you heard from Sebastian? It’s been a couple days. He must be going through withdrawals.” Annika signaled out of the parking lot.

“Funny you should say that. I got a text from him at four in the morning saying pretty much that.”

“Are you coming to the football party tomorrow?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I ran into Clay today and he said he was going and it would be good to ‘catch up,’ so I can’t go now.”

“God, Clay. Always ruining everything.”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration.” I opened my phone to read Sebastian’s text again.

“Did you text him back?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Texting him is an admission of something, sort of. He thinks about me when I’m not around. He notices when I’m not around. But today on the way to class, this tall blonde girl was clinging to him as though he was the second coming of Christ.” I sighed. “I can’t sleep with him. Maybe the first night I could have. But I like him too much now, and liking him this much won’t go anywhere. He’s never been in a monogamous relationship.”

“Never?”

“He says never. So, all he must want from me is sex, right?” I shrugged. “I’m not sure I can do just sex. Not with him. But, God. He’s so freaking hot.” My hands covered my face before I brushed my hair off my cheeks in frustration. I missed ponytails.

“Maybe he does want more? I mean, look at me and Johnny.” Annika turned into our parking lot. “You never know.”

“Even if he did want more—and I don’t think he does—but if he did, I’m not sure I could handle it. That girl was draped over him today. We’re not dating and seeing it deflated me. How would I feel if I had a reason to be upset? Ten times worse. Maybe a hundred times, depending on what the girl was trying to do to him.”

“Well, the last few weeks with Johnny have been the best of my life. Maybe Sebastian would be worth the heartbreak too?” She faced me with her hand poised on the car door handle.

“I’ll think about it.”

The truth was, lately, he dominated my thoughts without me having a say.