Saving Us by Wendy Million

Chapter Five

Afew days later, Annika was packing for classes in the living room while I ate my breakfast. I hadn’t run into Sebastian, and my heart rate was finally returning to normal. Clay had gotten the message and was staying away.

“I’m going to watch the football practice tonight. Did you want to come?” Annika shoved the last book in her bag.

With a raised eyebrow, I took another bite of my toast. “Is that a trick question?” I sipped my coffee.

She grinned. “Maybe? Come on. He’s clearly interested.”

“Can’t be too interested. Unlike Mr. Quarterback, I haven’t been exchanging frantic text messages with Sebastian.”

Annika sighed and sat on the edge of the couch, her rush out the door forgotten. “I like him, Nat. Like, really like him. He doesn’t talk down to me about football, and he hasn’t said even once that it’s dumb or impossible that I want to coach football someday.”

“Good. You deserve a guy who believes in you.” I threw the last bite of toast in my mouth. “You guys going to do anything other than text each other back and forth?”

“Friday night out to a club?” She gave me a hopeful look.

“You want me to go too?” I swallowed my sigh.

With my plate in the sink, I grabbed my mug off the table before sitting on the couch beside her. “Aren’t you going to be late?” I glanced at the clock above the TV.

“Gah!” Annika jumped up. “Friday, please?” She slung her bag over her shoulder.

“You know I will.” I took a long drink. “I’d never make you go alone. Should I call everyone from our dorm last year?”

“Yes—yes—do that!” Annika grabbed her keys and threw open the door.

As soon as Annika was gone, I picked up my phone and started texting people. I’d no sooner hit send on a text to Kristy, one of the girls who was also into football, when I got a reply.

I heard Annika has been hanging out with Johnny McDade.

The level of envy Kristy must be experiencing was probably out of control. She and Annika had spent hours talking about football and the shape of Johnny’s ass in his uniform. After I confirmed, I waited for her reply. When it didn’t come immediately, I decided to shower.

Once I was done with the bare-bones beauty routine I kept, I checked my phone and saw several excited responses about the night out. But it was Kristy’s reply that kicked my heart into gear.

Tell Annika to be careful. I’ve heard a few rumors. Nothing for sure.

My fingers flew across my screen. She couldn’t say that and have me leave it alone. When he’d come to the house for the game, he’d been cool with me but the right temperature with her. He’d been charming and interested in what she was talking about. Since the football party here, Annika had been glued to her phone, texting him constantly, and he always responded.

We’ll talk Friday. Like I said, rumors. Maybe it’s nothing.

If the rumor was serious, she’d tell me now, right? Maybe he sleeps around. Wouldn’t surprise me with his looks and status on campus. Were he and Annika even a couple at this point? They spent a lot of time texting and talking, and they’d hung out a few more times. But had they labeled it?

Kristy planted the seed of uncertainty, and I had a hard time not cultivating it.

When I got back from class later that day, Annika was home texting Johnny while streaming game tape on her laptop.

“Whatcha doing?” I peered over her shoulder.

“Johnny sent me his footage and we’re talking about their away game.” Annika paused the video and typed to him in a chat window.

“So, what’s going on between you two?” I asked. “I know you like him, but has he made a move on you, or does he just enjoy talking about football with hot girls?”

She stopped typing to him mid-stroke and turned to me. “We kissed the other night under the bleachers after his game.”

“So, are you two…” I trailed off, not sure what I should say. “Exclusive?”

Annika rolled her eyes. “He’s the quarterback of the college football team. A Division I school. I’m not even sure the word ‘exclusive’ is in his vocabulary.”

“Are you okay with that?” Kristy’s earlier text messages were at the forefront of my mind.

“For now, yeah. It’s fun. He’s fun. When it’s not fun anymore, I guess I’ll decide what to do then. Do I push for exclusive? Do I accept that he might never be a one-woman man?”

I shuddered. “You’d accept that?” My mind drifted to Sebastian. No matter how hot he was, no matter what kind of attraction I felt, I couldn’t do that. One thing I’d always known about Clay, without ever having to question it or think about it, was that he was faithful.

Annika closed the chat window and lowered her laptop lid. “One hundred percent he’ll be turning pro when he’s done with college. The only way that doesn’t happen is if he suffers some sort of catastrophic injury. How many professional athletes are faithful? Like one hundred percent faithful? I bet it’s a painfully small number. Think about the girls throwing themselves at them here, then magnify that across a country. If it comes to it, I have to decide if he’s worth it. If being with him is worth knowing I’m probably not the only one.” Annika shrugged her shoulders. “Where do you think the term side-chick comes from? Male-dominated professional sports.”

“You’ve considered this.” It was sort of stunning.

“Yep.” She drew out the word. “Far, far too much. My high school fantasy was marrying a pro football player.”

When I started to interject at her mention of marriage when they’d only kissed, she laughed, and the sound bounced around the room, causing me to grin involuntarily.

“Don’t worry. I’m not thinking about marrying Johnny after one kiss and knowing him for a week. What I’m saying is that this guy, this moment, it’s not the first time these things have crossed my mind. It’s been years of obsessing.” She let out a sigh. “Years.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.” A beat stretched between us. Kristy’s ominous text gnawed at my mind.

“He’s intense,” Annika agreed. “It’s kinda one of the things I appreciate about him. He’s me on an everything always day except he’s that every day.”

“Balance is good, right?” I flicked on the coffee maker.

“He’s balanced.”

I was on the cusp of offending her. “Cup of coffee?” I held up a mug and effectively shut down the conversation. She nodded but said nothing else. For a few minutes, I listened to the coffee percolate. “What time is practice?”

She checked the clock above the TV. “It’ll be starting now. Are you coming?”

“Can I drop you off and take your car to the bookstore? I’ll swing back and pick you up after?” I got out a couple of to-go cups.

“Sure.” She walked down the hall to her room. “Just grabbing a sweater!”

We drove to the field, mostly in silence. Her rationalization replayed in my head. Being with a football player, professional or not, couldn’t be worth such a massive moral compromise.

“How good is Sebastian?” I asked Annika before she got out of the car.

She glanced over her shoulder and slumped down in the seat instead of exiting the vehicle. “Don’t overthink it,” she said. “I’m not overthinking it with Johnny, I’m going with the flow for now. It can be fun. It doesn’t have to be forever.”

Sebastian’s half smile when he was amused, his hazel eyes, the depth of his laugh, all surfaced in my mind. “It’s so risky.” A pit formed in my stomach.

She sighed. “Then I guess you deserve to know the risk. He’s good. The reason he came to our college was to have a year playing with Johnny, and the second-string QB is also very good when Johnny leaves. Sebastian could go pro if he stays healthy. College ball is a long program, though, and a lot happens.” Annika hiked her bag up on her shoulder and pushed the door wider. “Be back in an hour and a half?”

“Sooner, if I can.”

At the bookstore, my focus was on everything but buying books. Annika’s words kept floating around in my head. I couldn’t get involved with Sebastian if there was a chance he was one of those guys. It didn’t matter how hot he was or how charming he seemed.

I drove into the parking lot at the field just as practice ended. Getting out of the car, I leaned against the passenger door. I’d have to have to figure out a way to avoid Sebastian on Friday night if we were going out together. This attraction wouldn’t gain traction in me.

As Annika made her way to the car, Johnny had his arm slung across her shoulders and she clutched his waist. Involuntarily, I scanned the mix of guys and groupies, looking for Sebastian. When I spotted him, my heart sank. There was a dark-skinned, dark-haired girl clinging on to him as he tried to walk. He was laughing, and the sound drifted in my direction. I turned away; it didn’t matter.

When I focused on Annika again, she was watching Sebastian, annoyance clear in her features, but he didn’t seem to notice either of us.

At the car, Johnny kissed Annika on the forehead and smoothed her hair behind her ears. The tenderness made me wonder if Annika would be different from the other girls. They did have a lot in common.

“Nat.” Johnny acknowledged me before squeezing Annika one last time and disappearing into the locker rooms.

Annika slid into the passenger seat and sighed. I looked over, but I said nothing. She probably needed to sort out her stance on cheating sooner rather than later. It seemed like she was slipping deeper and deeper into something with him.

I knew where I stood, and it was nowhere near that relationship quicksand.